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PRACTICAL JOKE (PIMP)
TO PENNY A DOOR, YOU FIX IT SO THAT THE PERSON INSIDE CANNOT GET OUT.
TO DO THIS, YOU NEED ONE PERSON TO LEAN ON THE CLOSED DOOR AND AN-
OTHER PERSON TO STICK AS MANY PENNIES AS NEEDED, ONE ON TOP OF THE
OTHER, TO FILL THE GAP BETWEEN THE DOOR AND DOORWAY. WHAT IT DOES,
IS CREATES PRESSURE ON THE DOOR LATCH, SO THE DOORKNOB CANNOT BE
TURNED.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY ; EAST LANSING
James Callow Keyword(s): FUNCTIONAL SHIFT: NOUN AS VERB: TO PENNY
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion |
Date learned: 00-00-1973
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DRUNK JOKE
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
A DRUNK IS WALKING DOWN THE STREET. HE IS HOLDING A CAR STEERING
WHEEL IN HIS HANDS AND HIS COCK IS HANGING OUT. A POLICEMAN ON THE
STREET SEES HIM AND SAYS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT STEERING
WHEEL. THE DRUNK LOOKS AT IT AND SAYS, OH MY GOD, I LOST MY CAR.
THE COP THEN SAYS, WELL WHY IS YOUR COCK HANGING OUT? THE DRUNK
LOOKS DOWN AND SAYS, OH MY GOD I LOST MY WIFE, TOO.
Submitter comment:
I GOT THIS IN HIGH'SCHOOL (ST. JOSEPH S IN WESTCHESTER) FROM ANOTHER
STUDENT. TELLER USUALLY USES ARM MOTION TO INDICATE HOLDING
STEERING WHEEL IN DRIVING POSITION.
Where learned: ILLINOIS ; WESTCHESTER
James Callow Keyword(s): PENIS
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman SPEECH -- Gesture Filter - Mature Content |
Date learned: 00-00-1968
JEST, ANECDOTE
ON THE HOLYDAY OF THE HOLY GHOST A PRIEST SAID TO A MAN,
" WHEN I
SING HOLY GHOST SHOW YOURSELF, LET THE PIGEON OUT FROM
UNDERNEATH YOUR COAT. " THE CHURCH WAS CROWDED THAT
HOLYDAY AND THE PEOPLE BEING SO CLOSE TOGETHER, CHOKED THE BIRD
TO DEATH. THEN LATER WHEN THE PRIEST SANG OUT, " HOLY
GHOST SHOW YOURSELF " , THE MAN SANG BACK, " HE
ISN'T HERE, HE ISN'T HERE; HE CHOKED HIMSELF."
Submitter comment:
THIS IS FUNNY BECAUSE GOD ISN T SUPPOSED TO DIE. THIS WAS LEARNED
IN RUSSIA. THIS ITEM IS TRANSLATED FROM THE RUSSIAN LANGUAGE.
James Callow comment:
ANTHROPOMORPHISM ; ANIMAL
DNC[ 1,419
******************** C FILE 1 ********************
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RUSSIA ; Sterling Heights
James Callow Keyword(s): ANTICLERICAL ; PENTECOST
| Subject headings: | Favorites PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote BELIEF -- Creator |
Date learned: 11-00-1973
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THE UGLY BIRD JOKE
MR.SMITH WAS VERY THIN AND PALE. ONE DAY HE WENT TO SEE A DOCTOR. THE
DOCTOR TOLD HIM TO SUNBATHE IN THE NUDE FOR A WEEK. THE FIRST DAY HE
WAS SUNBATHING AND READING THE PAPER WHEN SALLY, THE LITTLE GIRL NEXT
DOOR CAME IN THE YARD. "HI MR.SMITH" SAID SALLY. MR.SMITH IMMEDIATELY
DROPPED THE PAPER TO COVER HIMSELF. SALLY ASKED HIM WHAT HE HAD UNDER
THE PAPER. MR.SMITH REPLIED IT WAS HIS BIRD. "CAN I SEE YOUR BIRD MR.
SMITH?" ASKED SALLY. "MAYBE TOMORROW" SAID MR.SMITH. THE NEXT DAY MR.
SMITH WAS AGAIN SUNBATHING WHEN SALLY WALKED IN THE YARD. "HI MR.
SMITH" SAID SALLY. MR.SMITH AGAIN DROPPED THE PAPER TO COVER HIMSELF.
SALLY ASKED,"CAN I SEE YOUR BIRD TODAY MR.SMITH?" HE SAID "MAYBE
TOMORROW SALLY." THE NEXT DAY MR.SMITH WAS SUNBATHING AND DECIDED TO
TAKE A NAP. HE PUT THE PAPER DOWN TO COVER HIMSELF. NEXT THING HE
KNEW HE WAS IN TREMENDOUS PAIN. HE COULD NOT BELIEVE THE PAIN HE WAS
HAVING. ALSO THERE WERE DOCTORS AND NURSES AROUND. HE LOOKED AT THE
DOOR AND THERE WAS SALLY TALKING TO A POLICEMAN. SHE WAS SAYING,"MR.
SMITH TOLD ME HE HAD A BIRD UNDER THE PAPER AND I WANTED TO SEE IT.
I PICKED UP THE PAPER AND LOOKED. IT WAS THE UGLIEST BIRD I EVER SAW
SO I SMASHED ITS EGGS, WRUNG ITS NECK AND LIT ITS NEST ON FIRE."
Where learned: DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): PENIS
| Subject headings: | Favorites PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote BELIEF -- Body part Senses |
Date learned: 11-24-1973
NO BUILDING CAN BE BUILT HIGHER THAN WILLIAM PENN'S HAT ON
TOP OF CITY HALL.
Where learned: PENNSYLVANIA ; PHILADELPHIA
James Callow Keyword(s): HEIGHT OF BUILDING ; STATUE OF WILLIAM PENN
| Subject headings: | Favorites ART CRAFT ARCHITECTURE -- Architecture BELIEF -- Secular hero |
Date learned: 11-30-1972
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PRETENDED OBSCENE RIDDLE
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
Q: WHAT GOES IN HARD AND COMES OUT SOFT, STICKY, AND WET?
A: GUM.
Data entry tech comment:
ANOTHER VARIANT IN U OF D FOLKLORE 5 X 8 CARD FILES.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Keyword(s): EATABLES AND DRINKS (A) ; LITERAL ; STATES OF BEING (Q)
James Callow Keyword(s): PENIS ; SEXUAL INTERCOURSE
| Subject headings: | RIDDLE -- True Riddle Filter - Mature Content |
Date learned: 09-00-1971
MYSTERY SPOT-WATER
THIS IS AT ST. IGNACE, MICHIGAN, IN THE U.P. AT THIS PARK WATER
RUNS UPHILL BECAUSE A GHOST HAUNTS THE WHOLE PARK.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): UPPER PENINSULA=U.P.
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Ghost Spirit Phantom Specter BELIEF -- Earth BELIEF -- Water |
Date learned: 03-08-1970
MYSTERY SPOT-GRAVITY
THIS IS A SPOT AT ST. IGNACE MICHIGAN IN THE U.P. WHERE BECAUSE
OF A GHOST HAUNTING THE PARK, THE GRAVITY IS EXTRA-STRONG, AND
YOU CAN STAND ON THE WALL OF A CABIN AND NOT FALL BECAUSE OF THIS
GRAVITY ABNORMAL FORCE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): ANTI-GRAVITY ; UPPER PENINSULA=U.P.
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Creation and Order of Universe BELIEF -- Ghost Spirit Phantom Specter BELIEF -- Earth |
Date learned: 03-08-1970
GHOST PROVERB
EVEN THE GHOST WILL LISTEN IF YOU BEG.
Submitter comment:
HERE THE GHOST REPRESENTS THE KING OF HADES, WHO IS SUPPOSED TO
SIT ON HIS THRONE OF JUDGMENT WITH A STERN FACE. WHEN THE DEAD ARE
BROUGHT INTO HIS PRESENCE ONE BY ONE, HE WEIGHS THE LOAD OF THEIR
SINS ON A BALANCE AND LOOKS AT THE SCENE OF THEIR DEEDS REFLECTED
IN A MIRROR, AND THEN HE SENDS THEM TO HELL OR HEAVEN, TO PURGATORY
OR BACK TO LIFE. IF THE SINNER IN TEARS OF REPENTANCE BEGS FOR
PARDON, HE WILL BE LENIENT. A MAN IS MORE LIKELY TO FORGIVE IF YOU
BEG HIS PARDON FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE WRONG.
Data entry tech comment: ETHNIC ORIGIN
Keyword(s): SUPERNATURAL
James Callow Keyword(s): REPENTANCE ; TRANSLATION
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Ghost Spirit Phantom Specter |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
PROVERB
"EVERYONE TO HIS TASTE," SAID THE FARMER AS HE KISSED HIS COW.
Where learned: DETROIT
Keyword(s): ANIMAL
James Callow Keyword(s): INDEPENDENCE ; IRONY
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Wellerism Quotation |
Date learned: 10-24-1968
CUSTOM
WHENEVER SOMEONE GIVES A SHARP OBJECT AS A GIFT IN HER FAMILY,
THE PERSON WHO RECEIVES THE SHARP OBJECT AS A GIFT GIVES THE GIVER
A PENNY TO SYMBOLIZE THAT THEIR FRIENDSHIP WILL NOT BREAK UP AS A
RESULT OF THE GIFT. THE SUPERSTITION, THAT GIVING A SHARP OBJECT
AS A GIFT WILL RESULT IN THE LOSS OF FRIENDSHIP, IS COUNTERACTED
BY THE PENNY.
Where learned: TOLD AT INFORMANTS HOME ; 22427 RED MAPLE LN ; SAINT CLAIR
Keyword(s): GIFT FRIENDSHIP PENNY
| Subject headings: | Favorites CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Street Trip Relations between relatives, friends, host and guest Social class Rank |
Date learned: 02-27-1971
BELIEF
IF YOU GIVE SOMEBODY A PIN (A PIECE OF JEWELRY) FOR A GIFT, ALSO
GIVE A PENNY OR YOU'LL BREAK UP THE FRIENDSHIP.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Sterling Heights
Keyword(s): GIFT PENNY FRIENDSHIP
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Street Trip Relations between relatives, friends, host and guest Social class Rank |
Date learned: 02-07-1972
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WHO WAS THE FIRST CARPENTER IN THE WORLD?
EVE- SHE MADE ADAM'S BANANA STAND.
Where learned: UNKNOWN
Keyword(s): ERECTION OF PENIS ; OBSCENE
| Subject headings: | RIDDLE -- Riddle Question Filter - Mature Content |
Date learned: UNKNOWN
PA. DUTCH BELIEF
A MAMMY IS CALLED IN FOR SICKNESS-- ESPECIALLY BLEEDING OF
ANY SORT.
FOR AN ADULT: THE "POW-WOWER" OR MAMMY RECITES BIBLE
PHRASES TO HERSELF WHILE HOLDING THE SICK PERSON, AND IT CURES HIM.
FOR A CHILD: THE "POW-WOWER" PASSES THE CHILD AROUND A TABLE LEG
WHILE RECITING BIBLE PHRASES, AND THE CHILD WILL BE CURED.
Submitter comment:
THIS IS CALLED "POW-WOWING" AND IT AFFECTS THE WHOLE PA. DUTCH
AREA. IT IS NECESSARY TO BELIEVE IN IT TO HAVE IT WORK.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BIRMINGHAM
Keyword(s): PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH (GERMAN) ; POWWOWING
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Expression of Fixed Form BELIEF -- Method of Curing |
Date learned: 02-24-1968
STYE CURE
TO GET RID OF A STYE, YOU URINATE AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.
Submitter comment:
INFORMANT IS A FRIEND'S FATHER, AND THIS WAS A BELIEF AMONG
THE PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH WHERE HE GREW UP.
Data entry tech comment: THERE ARE 2 OTHER REFERENCES IN THIS SECTION OF THE ARCHIVE.
Where learned: HOME ; MICHIGAN ; FERNDALE
Keyword(s): PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH (GERMAN)
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Remedy |
Date learned: 00-00-1971
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WHEN YOU GROW OLD AND YOUR BALLS GROW COLD AND THE HEAD OF YOUR
DICK TURNS BLUE, AND WHEN YOU TRY TO DIDDLE AND IT BENDS IN THE
MIDDLE, THEN YOU KNOW GODDAMIT YOU,RE THROUGH.
Submitter comment:
THIS LITTLE SAYING WAS TOLD TO ME BY A MAN WHO HAD LIVED FOR
MANY YEARS IN THE THUMB AREA. HE HAD HEARD THIS WHEN HE WORKED FOR
A LUMBER COMPANY IN THAT AREA.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SOUTHFIELD
James Callow Keyword(s): AGING ; SLANG: DICK FOR PENIS
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse Lyrical Verse Filter - Mature Content |
Date learned: 00-00-1977
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VIRGINITY IS LIKE A BALLOON, ONE PRICK AND ITS GONE.
Where learned: RESTROOM WALL
James Callow Keyword(s): SLANG-PRICK FOR PENIS
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Art Craft Architecture Art, Craft, Architecture Filter - Mature Content |
Date learned: 00-00-1978
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Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE POLOCK WHO:
THOUGHT MOBY DICK WAS A FORM OF VENEREAL DISEASE?
Where learned: DETROIT ; REGINA HIGH SCHOOL
James Callow Keyword(s): SLANG: DICK FOR PENIS
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Poli |
Date learned: 00-00-1979
PROVERB GOOD FIREWOOD IS NOT WITHOUT ANTS. THE AMERICAN
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; 4535 PINGREE
Keyword(s): COMPENSATION
| Subject headings: | Favorites PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: 09-15-1971
LOCAL LEGEND - GREEN MAN
A MAN LIVES IN A NEARBY CITY (LIBRARY) WHO WAS INVOLVED IN AN
ELECTRICAL ACCIDENT. A HIGH VOLTAGE WIRE FELL ACROSS HIS FACE
CAUSING A YELLOW SCAR ACROSS HIS FACE AND THE REST OF HIS FACE TO
TURN GREEN. HE WILL GO OUT IN LOVERS' LANES., AND ROCK THE
CAR FROM SIDE TO SIDE.
Where learned: PENNSYLVANIA ; BETHEL PARK
Keyword(s): LIBRARY, PENNSYLVANIA
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Physically handicapped Deformed |
Date learned: 00-00-1959