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RIDDLE

Q: WHAT IS IT THAT IS HARD WHEN IT ENTERS A BATH,
BUT IMMEDIATELY BECOMES SOFT?
A: INSTANT JAPANESE NOODLES.

Submitter comment: INFORMANT LIVES IN JAPAN AND (HE) LEARNED ABOVE FROM HIS CHILDREN.

Where learned: LETTER ; JAPAN

Keyword(s): ANTITHETICAL ; EATABLES AND DRINKS (A) ; STATE OF BEING (Q)

James Callow Keyword(s): PRETENDED OBSCENE?

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- True Riddle

Date learned: 07-28-1964

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FRATERNITY DRINKING SONG

HERE'S TO BROTHER (NAME), BROTHER (NAME), BROTHER (NAME)
HERE'S TO BROTHER (NAME) WHO'S WITH US TONIGHT.
HE EATS IT, HE BEATS IT, HE EVEN MISTREATS IT,
HERE'S TO BROTHER (NAME) WHO'S WITH US TONIGHT.
SO DRINK CHUG-A-LUG, DRINK CHUG-A-LUG, DRINK CHUG-A-LUG,
DRINK CHUG-A-LUG (CONTINUES UNTIL THE BROTHER FINISHES DRINKING)
HERE'S TO BROTHER (NAME) WHO'S WITH US TONIGHT.

Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT

Keyword(s): FRATERNITY SONG ; OBSCENE DRINKING SONG

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Social reunion
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MATH PROF

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE CONSTIPATED MATHEMATICS PROFESSOR WHO
WORKED IT OUT WITH A PENCIL?
YES

Submitter comment: COLLECTED FROM THE WALL OF THE MENS JOHN IN
RENO HALL, BASEMENT.

Where learned: DETROIT

Keyword(s): OBSCENE

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Art Craft Architecture Art, Craft, Architecture
RIDDLE -- Riddle Question
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Date learned: 11-24-1967

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WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PREGNANT WOMAN AND A LIGHTBULB?
YOU CAN'T UNSCREW THE WOMAN

Where learned: UNKNOWN

Keyword(s): OBSCENE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question
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Date learned: UNKNOWN

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WHY DIDN'T THE FORTUNE TELLER HAVE ANY KIDS?
HE HAD CRYSTAL BALLS

Where learned: UNKNOWN

Keyword(s): GONADS BODY PART ; OBSCENE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question
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Date learned: UNKNOWN

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WHO WAS THE FIRST CARPENTER IN THE WORLD?
EVE- SHE MADE ADAM'S BANANA STAND.

Where learned: UNKNOWN

Keyword(s): ERECTION OF PENIS ; OBSCENE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question
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Date learned: UNKNOWN

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WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A WOMAN IN CHURCH
AND A WOMAN IN THE BATHTUB?
A WOMAN IN CHURCH HAS HOPE IN HER SOUL.
A WOMAN IN THE BATHTUB HAS SOAP IN HER HOLE.

Where learned: UNKNOWN

Keyword(s): ANUS ; OBSCENE ; PUN ; SPOONERISM CONUNDRUM

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question
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Date learned: UNKNOWN

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WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A BLIND WHORE?
HAND IT TO HER.

Where learned: UNKNOWN

Keyword(s): OBSCENE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question
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Date learned: UNKNOWN

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HOLLANDER JOKE

WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A HOLLANDER WITH A ROADRUNNER?
A STREAK OF SHIT

Submitter comment: HE HEARD THIS FROM A FRIEND

Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT

Keyword(s): DUTCH ; OBSCENE

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Blason Populaire
RIDDLE -- Riddle Question
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Date learned: 11-03-1967

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HOLLANDER JOKE

WHY DO HOLLANDERS MAKE THEIR WEDDING CAKES OUT OF SHIT?
TO KEEP THE FLIES OFF THE BRIDE.

Submitter comment: HE LEARNED IT FROM FRIENDS

Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT

Keyword(s): DUTCH ; OBSCENE

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Blason Populaire
RIDDLE -- Riddle Question
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RIDDLE QUESTION

WHAT WORD STARTS WITH F AND ENDS IN U-C-K?
FIRETRUCK

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): OBSCENE IMPLICATION ; PRETENDED OBSCENE ; SPELLING

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question
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Date learned: 00-00-1967

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RIDDLE QUESTION

WHAT DOES A COW HAVE FOUR OF THAT A WOMAN HAS TWO OF?
LEGS

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN

Keyword(s): PRETENDED OBSCENE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 10-02-1969

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ELEPHANT JOKE

WHAT DID THE ELEPHANT SAY WHEN HE WAS PULLED FROM THE
SWAMP BY THE BALLS?
THANK YOU MR. AND MRS. BALLS}

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN

Keyword(s): OBSCENE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 10-02-1969

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THREE DRAGON SAILORS CROSSED THE RHINE,

THREE DRAGON SAILORS CROSSED THE RHINE, TABOO, TABOO,
THREE DRAGON SAILORS CROSSED THE RHINE, TABOO, TABOO,
THREE DRAGON SAILORS CROSSED THE RHINE,
TO FILL THEIR BELLIES FULL OF WINE,
TABOO, TABOO, TA-BOTTLE OF BOTTLE OF BOOZE.

THEY CAME UPON A WAYSIDE INN, TABOO, TABOO,
THEY CAME UPON A WAYSIDE INN, TABOO, TABOO,
THEY CAME UPON A WAYSIDE INN,
AND THEY DECIDED TO GO IN,
TABOO, TABOO, TA-BOTTLE OF BOTTLE OF BOOZE.

THE INNKEEPER HAD A DAUGHTER FAIR, TABOO, TABOO,
THE INNKEEPER HAD A DAUGHTER FAIR, TABOO, TABOO,
THE INNKEEPER HAD A DAUGHTER FAIR
WITH DARK AND WAVY LONG BROWN HAIR,
TABOO, TABOO, TA-BOTTLE OF BOTTLE OF BOOZE.

THEY LAID HER ON A FEATHER BED, TABOO, TABOO,
THEY LAID HER ON A FEATHER BED, TABOO, TABOO,
THEY LAID HER ON A FEATHER BED
PULLED THE BLANKETS ON OVER HER HEAD,
TABOO, TABOO, TA-BOTTLE OF BOTTLE OF BOOZE.

THREE DRAGON SAILORS WENT TO HELL, TABOO, TABOO,
THREE DRAGON SAILORS WENT TO HELL, TABOO, TABOO,
THREE DRAGON SAILORS WENT TO HELL,
WHERE THEY OOMPHED THE DEVIL'S WIFE AS WELL,
TABOO, TABOO, TA-BOTTLE OF BOTTLE OF BOOZE.

Submitter comment: A COLLEGE TUNE SUNG TO THE TUNE OF:
"THE YANKS ARE MARCHING HOME AGAIN"

Where learned: DETROIT

Keyword(s): EUPHEMISM (OOMPHED) FOR OBSCENE WORD

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Emotion
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Date learned: 11-20-1969

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I WISH

I WISH YOU JOY, I WISH YOU MIGHTY
I WISH HIS PAJAMAS CLOSE TO YOUR NIGHTIE
NOW DON'T GET MAD, DON'T GET RED
I MEAN ON THE CLOTHESLINE AND NOT IN BED.

Where learned: PENNSYLVANIA

Keyword(s): CLOTHES ; HUMOR ; PRETENDED OBSCENE ; RHYME: AABB

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

Date learned: 09-12-1965

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RIDDLE

THERE IS A TEACHER AT THE LAWRENCE INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY
WHO ASKS THE QUESTION: WHAT IS A FOUR LETTER WORD FOR INTERCOURSE
THAT ENDS IN K? THE ANSWER IS TALK

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

James Callow Keyword(s): PRETENDED OBSCENE RIDDLE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- True Riddle

Date learned: 01-00-1979

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THE FALLEN SIGN

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

ONE TOWN HAD SUCH A CRITICAL HOUSING SHORTAGE THAT THE
HEAD OF A HOUSE OF ILL REPUTE HAD HER GIRLS PEDELING
THEIR WARES IN EVERY AVAILABLE SPOT. FINALLY, BUSINESS
WAS SO GOOD ONE NIGHT THAT A GIRL HAD TO TAKE A CUSTOMER
ON THE ROOF. A DRUNK HAPPENED TO BE WALKING BY AS THE
COUPLE ROLLED OFF THE ROOF AND FELL TO THE GROUND. THE
DRUNK RUSHED INSIDE, WHERE THE MATRON REFUSED HIM ADMITTANCE
BECAUSE HE WAS DRUNK. HE REPLIED: "MA'M I DIDN'T WANT TO COME IN,
I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT YOUR SIGN FELL DOWN."

Where learned: LOCATION NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

Keyword(s): DRUNK ; HUMOR ; OBSCENE ; SEX

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman

Date learned: DATE NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

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THE TWO NURSES

TWO NURSES, ONE UGLY THE OTHER VOLUPTUAS, WERE THE BEST OF
FRIENDS. ONE DAY THE UGLY ONE TOLD THE GOOD LOOKING ONE THAT
THE MAN IN ROOM 210 HAD THE WORD SWAN TATOOED ON A VERY
INTIMATE PLACE OF HIS ANATOMY. HER CURIOSITY EXCITED, THE
GOOD LOOKING NURSE HAD TO LOOK. THE NEXT DAY SHE TOLD HER
UGLY FRIEND. "YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT THAT GUY IN 210, BUT
THE WORD WAS SASKETCHEWAN

Where learned: LOCATION NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

Keyword(s): DIOLOGUE ; ERECTION ; HOSPITAL ; HUMOR ; NURSES ; OBSCENE ; SEX ; TATOO

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
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Date learned: DATE NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

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CONFUCIUS SAY:
MAN WHO SCREW GIRL IN STRAWBERRY PATCH FIND HIMSELF IN JAM.

Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; RESIDENCE HALLS

Keyword(s): HUMOR SATIRE OBSCENE SEX

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Art Craft Architecture Art, Craft, Architecture
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MY FIRST EXPERIENCE

THE SKY WAS DARK, THE MOON WAS HIGH,
WE WERE ALONE, JUST HER AND I.
HER HAIR WAS SO SOFT, HER EYES SKY BLUE,
I KNEW JUST WHAT I HAD TO DO.
I DIDN'T KNOW HOW, BUT I DID MY BEST.
I RAN MY FINGERS DOWN HER SPINE
I PUT MY HAND AGAINST HER BREAST.
I'LL NEVER FORGET MY BEATING HEART,
AS SHE SLOWLY SPREAD HER LEGS APART.
NOW ITS ( IT'S ) DONE--ITS ( IT'S ) OVER NOW
MY FIRST EXPERIENCE MILKING A COW.

Where learned: LOCATION NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

Keyword(s): ALLITERATION ; ANTICLIMAX ; HUMOR ; MONOLOGUE ; SURPRISE ENDING

James Callow Keyword(s): PRETENDED OBSCENE

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Narrative Verse
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Prose Narrative C820.660

Date learned: 09-30-1970

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