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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

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Ethnic Joke: Newfoundland

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

A minister is walking down the street of a small community in Newfoundland and runs into a drunk.

Minister: You shouldn't drink so much - you'll never get to heaven that way.

Drunk: I bet I'll get to heaven faster than you will.With that the drunk drops dead in the street and a few days later the minister passes on. The minister finds himself in Hell and asks the Devil for a reconsideration. The Devil lets him make a phone call to heaven to ask why he is in Hell.

Minister: Hello, is this Heaven?

Voice: Yes, this is Mary.

Minister: The Blessed Virgin Mary?

Mary: No - not since that Newfie came up here.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs and BN added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Submission card located in pile marked [?]

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): DEATH ; DEROGATORY ; DRUNKENNESS ; ETHNIC ; Icons ; Innuendo ; Minister ; Newfoundland ; RELIGION ; SEX ; VIRGIN MARY

James Callow Keyword(s): Newfoundland

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery
Filter - Mature Content

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Entry filtered.

Ethnic: Irish

An Irish Retort:

An Irishman is never drunk so long as he can hold on to one blade of grass and not fall off the face of the earth.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Why is this called a "retort"?

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): DRUNK ; ETHNIC ; Irish ; JOKE ; RETORT ; Stereotype

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Proverb

Still waters run deep

Submitter comment:

From - Uncertain

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Located in pile marked Duplicates and Other Rejects

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GROSSE POINTE

Keyword(s): Deep ; Depth ; Insight ; Intelligence ; Knowledge ; METAPHOR ; Quiet ; Run ; SILENCE ; Still ; WATER

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor

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Play on Words

Four fraternity men came rolling out of the off-campus bar and started to climb into their Mustang. The leader of the jolly group decided to take charge of the situation. "Frank," he sputtered, "you drive. You're too drunk to sing."

Submitter comment:

I learned this while I was at Sacred Heart Seminary

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Submission card located in pile marked These don't sound traditional - Do Not File Yet.

Keyword(s): BAR ; COLLEGE ; DRINK ; DRIVING ; DRUNK ; HUMOR ; PUN ; Sing

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman

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Retort

"A man running by for his life would never notice it."

Submitter comment:

Granny Clisdale used to admonish someone worrying over inicental details with this retort.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; DEATH ; incidental ; INSULT ; LIFE ; Notice ; RETORT ; RUNNING ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

Get off the table Maude. The quarter is for the beer.

Submitter comment:

This remark is sometimes said to a person who is under the influence of alcohol, such as at a party.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

What does this mean?

Where learned: ONTARIO ; Chatham

Keyword(s): ALCOHOL ; BEER ; COIN ; COMEBACK ; DRUNK ; Innuendo ; INSULT ; MONEY ; Quarter ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Stipper ; Table ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Belief: Marriage

Marriage Prediction:

Years ago, when the girls would wash clothes on the washboard and would get the front of their dresses sopping wet, everyone would say that she would marry a drunkard.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Original BN [B662] crossed out. Replaced wtih current classifications.

P870 - Omen?

P545 - Belief about Marriage?

They don't believe it, but they say it when the occassion arises

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN

Keyword(s): Dishes ; Domestic ; DRUNK ; Duties ; MARRIAGE ; PREDICTION ; Relationship ; RETORT

Subject headings: Observation
BELIEF -- Marriage
SPEECH -- Formula

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Joke

THIS STORY IS TOLD WITH THE INTENTION OF MAKING SOMEONE FEEL FOOLISH
OR UNCOMFORTABLE. THE STORY GOES: A MAN AND HIS DOG WALK INTO THIS
RESTAURANT AND SIT DOWN AT A TABLE. A WAITRESS WALKS UP AND ASKS
"WHAT'LL YOU HAVE?" AND THE MAN SAYS "I'LL HAVE A STEAK, WELL DONE,
SOME MASHED POTATOES, AND A SALAD. AND BRING ME A PIECE OF APPLE PIE
FOR MY DOG." THE WAITRESS REPLIES, "I'M SORRY SIR, WE DON'T HAVE ANY
APPLE PIE, WILL PEACH PIE DO?"
AT THIS POINT SEVERAL PEOPLE WHO ARE "IN" ON WHAT IS HAPPENING LAUGH
HYSTERICALLY. OF COURSE, THE OUTSIDER DOESN'T, AND PREFERABLY SOME
OF THE CONSPIRATORS DON'T EITHER. THE NARRATOR EXPRESSES DISBELIEF
THAT THE POINT OF THE STORY WAS MISSED, AND ASKS THAT SOMEONE ELSE
TELL IT("MAYBE I DIDN'T TELL IT WELL."). THE CONSPIRATORS TAKE TURNS
TELLING THE STORY AND EACH TIME ANOTHER PERSON JOINS IN THE LAUGHTER
("I GET IT NOW}"). FINALLY ONLY THE OUTSIDER IS LEFT CONFUSED OVER
THE MEANING OF THE STORY.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ABSURD ; DOG ; JOKE ; Pie ; Pointless ; POTATO ; RIDDLE ; Waitress

James Callow Keyword(s): BRUNVAND ; SHAGGY DOG STORY

Subject headings: Favorites
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale

Date learned: CA00001970

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Proverb

The fellow who comes into a bar optimistically, leave misty-optically.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Keyword(s): Aphorism ; Apothegm ; DRUNK ; HUMOR ; Jest ; Maxim ; PLAY ON WORDS ; PROVERB ; PUN ; VERSE

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Proverbial Apothegm Maxim

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Belief

RED HEADED WOMEN ARE MORE PASSIONATE AND BLONDES HAVE MORE FUN.

Data entry tech comment:

Updated and Motifs added / 02-28-2011 / TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GROSSE POINTE

Keyword(s): Blonde ; Brunette ; COLOR ; Female ; HAIR ; Red ; Stereotype ; Woman ; WOMEN

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Body part Senses Hair, on head, mustache, widow's peak

Date learned: 02-12-1970

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Saying

...three sheets to the wind. Meaning he's drunk.

ie There was a guy three sheets to the wind.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: TENNESSEE ; NASHVILLE

Keyword(s): DRUNK ; EUPHEMISM ; Language ; Saying ; Sheets ; SLANG ; Term ; Wind

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Vocabulary

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Prose Narrative Tale

Prose Narrative Tale:

Folktale of New England -- The Gingerbread Man.

Children's story of a runaway cookie including repeated theme: "rubn, run, as fast as you can. Can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread man."

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs Added by TRD

Where learned: TENNESSEE ; NASHVILLE ; Bookhouse Volume One

Keyword(s): CATCH ; CHILDREN ; Cookie ; Fast ; Gingerbread ; Gingerbread Man ; Legend ; Narrative ; New England ; Prose ; REGIONAL ; Run ; Tale

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale

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