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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

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IF YOU'RE GOING TO PUSH ON THE THROTTLE,
DON'T PULL (DRINK) ON THE BOTTLE.

Submitter comment: A WARNING!

Where learned: DETROIT ; MICHIGAN, ASSUMED

Keyword(s): AUTOMOBILE CAR ; DRINKING DRUNKENNESS

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Food Drink
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Proverb Proverb
ART CRAFT ARCHITECTURE -- Means of transportation Vehicle propelled by mechanical or other force on land
Food Drink -- N447

Date learned: 11-00-1971

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AUTOGRAPH BOOK VERSE

REMEMBER A
REMEMBER B
REMEMBER THE DAY WE BOTH GOT D
REMEMBER THE FIGHT
REMEMBER THE FUN
REMEMBER THE HOMEWORK THAT NEVER GOT DONE.

Where learned: DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): ELLIPSIS DRUNK NOSTALGIA

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse Remember me

Date learned: 00-00-1974

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WHEN I DIE BURY ME DEEP
PUT A KEG OF BEER ON MY HEAD AND FOOT
PUT A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY ON MY BREAST
AND TELL THEM ALL A SOAK'S AT REST.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): SOAK=DRUNK

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse Wisecracks, gags, silly stories, insults

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FOUR SHEETS IN THE WIND.

HE WAS FOUR SHEETS IN THE WIND.
IN REFERENCE TO ONE WHO WAS SLIGHTLY INEBRIATED.

Submitter comment: HEARD SAID BY DORA ENGLAND, MY BROTHER'S ELDERLY MOTHER IN LAW.

Keyword(s): DRUNK ; EUPHEMISM

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Proverbial Phrase

Date learned: DATE NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

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PROVERBIAL APOTHETGM MAXIM

HE WHO MIXES BUBBLES AND BOOZE, WILL WAKE UP THE NEXT MORNING
WEARING HIS SHOES.

Submitter comment: INFORMANT IS MY UNCLE WHO IS ONLY TWO AND A HALF YEARS OLDER THAN
MYSELF. THIS WAS TOLD AT A WEDDING RECEPTION WHERE CHAMPAIGN WAS
BEING CONSUMED ALONG WITH HARD LIQUOR.

Where learned: ILLINOIS ; CHICAGO ; TOLD AT ; WEDDING RECEPTION

Keyword(s): CHAMPAGNE ; GETTING DRUNK

Subject headings: Favorites
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Proverb Proverb

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LITTLE RABBIT FOO-FOO

( SONG ) LITTLE RABBIT FOO-FOO RUNNIN' THROUGH THE FOREST
SCOOPIN' UP THE FIELD MICE AND HITTIN' THEM OVER THE HEAD.

( SPOKEN ) AND ALONG COME THE GOOD FAIRY...AND SHE SAID,
" LITTLE RABBIT FOO-FOO, I'LL GIVE YOU 3 CHANCES,
( SUNG ) I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU RUNNIN' THROUGH THE FOREST, SCOOPIN'
UP THE FIELD MICE AND HITTIN' THEM OVER THE HEAD--AND--
IF YOU DON'T DO WHAT I TELL YOU, I'LL TURN YOU INTO A GOON " .
BUT THE NEXT DAY--

(SUNG) LITTLE RABBIT FOO-FOO WAS RUNNIN' THROUGH THE FOREST,
SCOOPIN' UP THE FIELD MICE AND HITTIN' THEM OVER THE HEAD.
( SPOKEN ) AND ALONG CAME THE GOOD FAIRY...AND SHE SAID,
" LITTLE RABBIT FOO-FOO, I'LL GIVE YOU 2 CHANCES, ETC.
BUT THE NEXT DAY--

( REPEATED, BUT NOW WITH ONLY 1 CHANCE )
( SPOKEN ) FOO-FOO BLEW HIS CHANCES, SO THE FAIRY TURNED HIM INTO A
GOON, AND
NARRATOR 1 " DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE MORAL IS?"
NARRATOR 2 " I SURE DO, "
( TOGETHER IN UNISON ) " HARE TODAY, GOON TOMORROW. "

Submitter comment: INFORMANT SANG THIS SONG FOR ME BY HERSELF, BUT IT ACTUALLY SHOULD
BE DONE WITH TWO PEOPLE, ONE ACTING AS NARRATOR AND THE OTHER AS
THE GOOD FAIRY. THE TUNE SHOULD BE SUNG TO THIS MELODY:
" G-G-G-A-B ( REST ) B ( REST ) - A-G-A-B-G-D
GGG-A-B-B-A-G-A-B-G " ( GUITAR NOTES )

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ANIMAL ; BRUNVAND C30 ; CANTE FABLE ; PUN ; SHAGGY DOG CANTE FABLE ; THE RABBIT THAT WAS CHANGED INTO A GOON

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Fairy Elf Goblin Gnome
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children

Date learned: 12-02-1971

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CHILDREN,S RHYME

SPRING HAS SPRUNGED,
THE GRASS HAS WHIZZED.
I WONDER WHERE THE BIRDIES IS?

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): IMPERFECT RHYME ; RHYME: ABB ; SPRING IS SPRUNG VARIANT

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse Lyrical Verse

Date learned: 00-00-1955

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Entry filtered.

THE FALLEN SIGN

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

ONE TOWN HAD SUCH A CRITICAL HOUSING SHORTAGE THAT THE
HEAD OF A HOUSE OF ILL REPUTE HAD HER GIRLS PEDELING
THEIR WARES IN EVERY AVAILABLE SPOT. FINALLY, BUSINESS
WAS SO GOOD ONE NIGHT THAT A GIRL HAD TO TAKE A CUSTOMER
ON THE ROOF. A DRUNK HAPPENED TO BE WALKING BY AS THE
COUPLE ROLLED OFF THE ROOF AND FELL TO THE GROUND. THE
DRUNK RUSHED INSIDE, WHERE THE MATRON REFUSED HIM ADMITTANCE
BECAUSE HE WAS DRUNK. HE REPLIED: "MA'M I DIDN'T WANT TO COME IN,
I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT YOUR SIGN FELL DOWN."

Where learned: LOCATION NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

Keyword(s): DRUNK ; HUMOR ; OBSCENE ; SEX

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman

Date learned: DATE NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

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DRUNK JOKE

THE ONE DRUNK SAYS TO THE OTHER DRUNK, "WE MUST BE
GETTING NEAR A TOWN." THE OTHER DRUNK SAYS, "HOW CAN
YOU TELL?" THE FIRST DRUNK SAYS, "BECAUSE WE'RE
HITTING A LOT OF PEDESTRIANS."

Data entry tech comment: ITEM PUNCHED AS IT APPEARED ON CARD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ABSURD ; ACCIDENT ; AUTOMOBILE ; DIOLOGUE ; DRINKING ; DRUNKS ; HUMOR

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman

Date learned: 09-16-1969

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"MOMMY, MOMMY" JOKE

"MOMMY, MOMMY" HOW COME I KEEP RUNNING AROUND IN CIRCLES?"
"SHUT UP OR, I'LL NAIL YOUR OTHER FOOT TO THE FLOOR"

Submitter comment: INFORMANT SAID THAT MOMMY, MOMMY JOKES WERE POPULAR IN HIS
CLASS AT SCHOOL.

Data entry tech comment: CHAPTER 6 IN "WITCRACKS" BY ALVIN SCHWARTZ

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; OAK PARK

Keyword(s): ABSURD ; CHILD ; DIALOGUE ; HUMOR ; RUNNING

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 02-02-1972

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AUTOGRAPH BOOK VERSE

REMEMBER A
REMEMBER B
REMEMBER THE DAY WE BOTH GOT D
REMEMBER THE FIGHT
REMEMBER THE FUN
REMEMBER THE HOMEWORK THAT NEVER GOT DONE.

Where learned: DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): DRUNK ; ELLIPSIS ; NOSTALGIA

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse Remember me

Date learned: 00-00-1974

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INVITE HIM TO THE WEDDING AND HE DRINKS TO YOUR WEDDING NEXT YEAR.
TRANSLATION OF GREEK TEXT ON THE 5 X 8 CARD

Submitter comment: THIS MEANS THAT THE PERSON WILL DRINK SO MUCH TO EXCESS
THAT HE WOULD
HAVE ENOUGH LIQUOR IN HIM TO BE DRUNK IF YOUR WEDDING WAS ONE YEAR
FROM THE DATE IT ACTUALLY WAS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

Keyword(s): DRUNKENNESS

Subject headings: Favorites
Food Drink -- Alcoholic beverage
BELIEF -- Marriage
PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor

Date learned: DATE NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR.

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( PROVERBIAL DEFINITION )

INTOXICATION: TO FEEL SOPHISTICATED AND NOT BE ABLE TO PRONOUNCE IT.

Where learned: THEOLOGY CLASS ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT, ASSUMED

Keyword(s): DRUNKENNESS ; HUMOR

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Proverbial Apothegm Maxim

Date learned: 00-00-1963

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RIDDLE

WHAT IS ROUND, PURPLE, DRIED UP AND DRAGS
A MACHINE GUN?
ANSWER: AL CAPRUNE

Data entry tech comment: PUN ON AL CAPONE, A GANGSTER FROM THE 1930'S.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): PRUNE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 07-31-1964

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UNDERTAKER

THIS MAN OWNED A FUNERAL HOME AND HIS BUSINESS WAS
ALWAYS SLOW. HE GOT MOST OF HIS CUSTOMERS BY WATCHING
FOR ANY MISHAP THAT LOOKED LIKE DEATH WAS NEXT. ONCE
A MAN COLLAPSED ON THE STREET BECAUSE HE WAS TOO DRUNK.
THE UNDERTAKER TOOK HIM FOR DEAD AND PUT HIM IN THE
PARLOR WITH INTENTIONS OF EMBALMING HIM THE NEXT MORNING.
THE NEXT MORNING, HE WENT IN TO PREPARE THE SUPPOSED
CORPSE, HOWEVER, THE DRUNK HAD SLEPT OFF HIS CONDITION
AND AWAKENED SHOCKED TO FIND HIMSELF IN A FUNERAL PARLOR.
HE JUMPED UP AND RAN OUT THE DOOR AS THE UNDERTAKER
WAS COMING IN. THE UNDERTAKER YELLED AT HIM AS HE RAN
PAST--HEY! COME BACK HERE, YOU'RE DEAD.

Submitter comment: INFORMANT SAYS THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN HIS HOME
TOWN, TUSKALOOSA, ALABAMA (1928).

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ALABAMA ; DETROIT ; TUSCALOOSA

Keyword(s): DRUNKARD, MISTAKE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Human Being

Date learned: 00-00-1928

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UNDERTAKER

THIS MAN OWNED A FUNERAL HOME AND HIS BUSINESS WAS
ALWAYS SLOW. HE GOT MOST OF HIS CUSTOMERS BY WATCHING
FOR ANY MISHAP THAT LOOKED LIKE DEATH WAS NEXT. ONCE
A MAN COLLAPSED ON THE STREET BECAUSE HE WAS TOO DRUNK.
THE UNDERTAKER TOOK HIM FOR DEAD AND PUT HIM IN THE
PARLOR WITH INTENTIONS OF EMBALMING HIM THE NEXT MORNING.
THE NEXT MORNING, HE WENT IN TO PREPARE THE SUPPOSED
CORPSE, HOWEVER, THE DRUNK HAD SLEPT OFF HIS CONDITION
AND AWAKENED SHOCKED TO FIND HIMSELF IN A FUNERAL PARLOR.
HE JUMPED UP AND RAN OUT THE DOOR AS THE UNDERTAKER
WAS COMING IN. THE UNDERTAKER YELLED AT HIM AS HE RAN
PAST--HEY! COME BACK HERE, YOU'RE DEAD.

Submitter comment: INFORMANT SAYS THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN HIS HOME
TOWN, TUSKALOOSA, ALABAMA (1928).

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ALABAMA ; DETROIT ; TUSCALOOSA

Keyword(s): DRUNKARD, MISTAKE ; J1849. INAPPROPRIATE ACTION FROM MISUNDERSTANDING -- MISC.

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Human Being

Date learned: 09-19-1971 ; 00-00-1928

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THOSE HICCOUGHS OF HIS ARE MERELY MESSAGES FROM DEPARTED SPIRITS.

Submitter comment: THIS ALWAYS CAUSES A BIG LAUGH.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): DRUNKS

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 00-00-1971

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HE CAN GET LOADED ON SCOTCH TAPE.

Submitter comment: THIS IS USUALLY SAID TO A PERSON WHO GETS HIGH ON ANYTHING.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): DRUNKS

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 02-13-1971

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LIFE FOR HIM IS A MATTER OF URPS AND DOWNS.

Submitter comment: MOST OF THE TIME A WIFE OR A GIRLFRIEND SAYS THIS TO HER MALE
FRIEND WHO STAYS DRUNK MOST OF THE TIME.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): DRUNKS

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 02-13-1971

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ANECDOTES ABOUT DRUNKS

HIS WIFE IS STICKING THROUGH THICK AND GIN.

Submitter comment: THIS IS USUALLY WHAT A NEIGHBOR OF YOURS OR A FRIEND SAYS ABOUT
A DRUNKS HUSBAND, BEHIND HER BACK.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): DRUNKS

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 02-13-1971

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