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MY FATHER IS A BUTCHER,
MY MOTHER CUTS THE MEAT,
I'M JUST A LITTLE WINNIE (WEENIE)
RUNNING AROUND THE STREET.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): WEENIE=FRANKFURTER HOTDOG

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse Wisecracks, gags, silly stories, insults

Date learned: 00-00-1960

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RIDDLE

HOW CAN YOU KEEP A DOG FROM GOING MAD IN AUGUST?
SHOOT HIM IN JULY

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): DOG DAYS ; MONTHS (Q) (A)

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- True Riddle

Date learned: 00001960S

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PRETENDED OBSCENE RIDDLE

Q: WHAT DOES A LADY DO SITTING DOWN, A MAN STANDING UP, AND A DOG ON
THREE LEGS?
A: SHAKE HANDS

Data entry tech comment: 2 MORE EXAMPLES ARE IN THE 5 X 8 CARD FILES.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): AN ACTION (A) ; PART OF THE BODY (A) HANDS ; PERSONS (Q) AND DOG.

James Callow Keyword(s): URINATE, IS ONE'S FIRST THOUGHT

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- True Riddle

Date learned: 09-00-1971

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SUPERSTITION

IF YOU HEAR A CAT CRYING IN THE NIGHT IT SIGNIFIES THAT A PERSON
CLOSE TO YOU IS GOING TO DIE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): SIMILAR TO DOG HOWLING

Subject headings: Observation

Date learned: 10-11-1971

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ELEPHANT JOKE

WHY DO ELEPHANTS WEAR RED TENNIS SHOES?
TO HIDE IN THE STRAWBERRY FIELDS.
DID YOU EVER SEE AN ELEPHANT IN A STRAWBERRY FIELD?
THEY HIDE PRETTY GOOD, DON'T THEY?

Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT

Keyword(s): COMPARE LION POWDER SHAGGY DOG STORY

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 04-09-1967

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KNOCK KNOCK JOKE

KNOCK KNOCK
WHO'S THERE?
GRETTA
GRETTA WHO?
GRETTA LONG LITTLE DOGGIE-GRETTA LONG

Submitter comment: GEORGETOWN U. FROM FRIENDS

Where learned: GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY

Keyword(s): COWBOY SONG ; NAME ; TITLE OR LINE FROM SONG: GET ALONG LITTLE DOGGIES

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 11-25-1967

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LITTLE RABBIT FOO-FOO

( SONG ) LITTLE RABBIT FOO-FOO RUNNIN' THROUGH THE FOREST
SCOOPIN' UP THE FIELD MICE AND HITTIN' THEM OVER THE HEAD.

( SPOKEN ) AND ALONG COME THE GOOD FAIRY...AND SHE SAID,
" LITTLE RABBIT FOO-FOO, I'LL GIVE YOU 3 CHANCES,
( SUNG ) I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU RUNNIN' THROUGH THE FOREST, SCOOPIN'
UP THE FIELD MICE AND HITTIN' THEM OVER THE HEAD--AND--
IF YOU DON'T DO WHAT I TELL YOU, I'LL TURN YOU INTO A GOON " .
BUT THE NEXT DAY--

(SUNG) LITTLE RABBIT FOO-FOO WAS RUNNIN' THROUGH THE FOREST,
SCOOPIN' UP THE FIELD MICE AND HITTIN' THEM OVER THE HEAD.
( SPOKEN ) AND ALONG CAME THE GOOD FAIRY...AND SHE SAID,
" LITTLE RABBIT FOO-FOO, I'LL GIVE YOU 2 CHANCES, ETC.
BUT THE NEXT DAY--

( REPEATED, BUT NOW WITH ONLY 1 CHANCE )
( SPOKEN ) FOO-FOO BLEW HIS CHANCES, SO THE FAIRY TURNED HIM INTO A
GOON, AND
NARRATOR 1 " DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE MORAL IS?"
NARRATOR 2 " I SURE DO, "
( TOGETHER IN UNISON ) " HARE TODAY, GOON TOMORROW. "

Submitter comment: INFORMANT SANG THIS SONG FOR ME BY HERSELF, BUT IT ACTUALLY SHOULD
BE DONE WITH TWO PEOPLE, ONE ACTING AS NARRATOR AND THE OTHER AS
THE GOOD FAIRY. THE TUNE SHOULD BE SUNG TO THIS MELODY:
" G-G-G-A-B ( REST ) B ( REST ) - A-G-A-B-G-D
GGG-A-B-B-A-G-A-B-G " ( GUITAR NOTES )

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ANIMAL ; BRUNVAND C30 ; CANTE FABLE ; PUN ; SHAGGY DOG CANTE FABLE ; THE RABBIT THAT WAS CHANGED INTO A GOON

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Fairy Elf Goblin Gnome
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children

Date learned: 12-02-1971

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KENTUCKY BEAR

THERE WAS A MOTHER AND FATHER IN KENTUCKY WHOSE THREE-YEAR-OLD
DAUGHTER CAME UP MISSING ONE DAY. SHE WAS SEARCHED FOR FOR FOUR DAYS
AND NOT FOUND. ON THE FOURTH DAY A MAN CAME TO HER HOUSE AND TOLD HER
PARENTS THAT HE WOULD SHOW THEM WHERE THEIR DAUGHTER WAS IF THEY
WOULD GIVE HIM A MEAL. THEY FED HIM AND AFTERWARD HE LED THEM INTO
THE WOODS. THE GIRL WAS FOUND NEAR A LOG WHERE A BEAR WAS BRINGING
HER FOOD. THE GIRL SAID THAT THE BEAR HAD BEEN TAKING CARE OF HER AND
FEEDING HER. NOT KNOWING ANY BETTER THE GIRL THOUGHT THE BEAR WAS A
DOG.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ;

Keyword(s): DAUGHTER ; MISTAKEN IDENITY (BEAR THOUGHT TO BE A DOG) ; TO GIVE IS TO RECEIVE--STRANGER GIVEN MEAL FOR SHOWING PLACE OF LOST

Subject headings: Favorites
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Human Being

Date learned: 11-20-1968

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SHAGGY DOG TALE

ONCE THERE WAS THIS MAN WHO HAD A DOG THAT COULD TALK. HE TOOK THIS
DOG TO THE LOCAL TAVERN AND BEGAN TO BRAG ABOUT HIS TALKING DOG.
"I DON'T BELIEVE IT" SAID THE BARTENDER. "YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO
PROVE IT" SAID ONE OF THE CUSTOMERS. "ALL RIGHT" SAID THE MAN
TURNING TO HIS DOG, "WHO WAS THE GREATEST BASEBALL PLAYER IN
HISTORY?" HE ASKED THE DOG. THE DOG REPLIED, "ROOF, ROOF."
UPON HEARING THIS THE PEOPLE IN THE BAR GOT PRETTY MAD AND
THREW THE MAN AND HIS DOG OUT ONTO THE STREET. CONFUSED,
THE DOG LOOKED UP TO HIS MASTER AND ASKED, "WAS IT WILLIE MAYS?"

Submitter comment: TOLD IN CAJUN DIALECT ON A JUSTIN WILSON RECORD

Data entry tech comment: CHAPTER 7 IN "WITCRACKS BY ALVIN SCHWARTZ
SPELLING CORRECTED BY KEYPUNCHER

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ANIMAL ; DOG ; HUMOR ; SURPRISE ENDING ; TALKING ANIMALS ; TAVERN

James Callow Keyword(s): BABE RUTH

Subject headings: Favorites
PROSE NARRATIVE -- B203
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Animal Tale

Date learned: 00-00-1967

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A MEAN DOG

BRUSHING A DOG'S HAIR IN THE DIRECTION OF THE HEAD FROM THE TAIL
WILL MAKE IT A VERY MEAN DOG.

Submitter comment: THE INFORMANT CLAIMS THAT THIS IS COMMON KNOWLEDGE IN IRELAND, AND
SAY THAT IS WHERE SHE HEARD IT.

Data entry tech comment: APOSTROPHE ADDED BY KEYPUNCHER.

Where learned: WASHINGTON DC

James Callow Keyword(s): GROOMING OF DOG ; POSITION DIRECTION

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Creation and Order of Animal Life

Date learned: 00-00-1965

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IF YOU PLAY WITH PUPPY, PUPPY WILL LICK YOUR MOUTH.

Submitter comment: THIS MIGHT SOUND A LITTLE STRANGE, TILL YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S ABOUT.
THE THINGS YOU DON'T WANT THE PUBLIC TO SEE, YOU SHOULDN'T DO AT ALL
BECAUSE THERE'S BOUND TO BE A MISTAKE SOMETIME, TO CAUSE YOUR
REPUTATION TO FALL.

Where learned: LOCATION NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

Keyword(s): EMPLOYMENT ANIMALS DOGS

James Callow Keyword(s): OBSERVATION PREDICTION

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor

Date learned: 02-01-1972

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SICK JOKE

I DON'T LIKI FEDDO DAD.
SHUT UP AND EAT WHAT I PUT IN FRONT OF YOU.

Submitter comment: THE INFORMANT DOES NOT KNOW WHERE HE HEARD THIS JOKE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): ANIMAL: DOG ; FIDO

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 04-08-1965

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RIDDLE

HOW CAN YOU HAVE A SET OF TEETH INSERTED FREE OF CHARGE?
TEASE A BULLDOG.

Where learned: NOT GIVEN

Keyword(s): ANIMALS: DOGS ; RIDDLING QUESTION

James Callow Keyword(s): EUPHEMISM FOR DOG BITE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 10-23-1968

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YOU'RE SO UGLY, YOU PUT THE "U" IN THE WORD.

Submitter comment: AN INSULT LIKE THIS IS CALLED A "CAP." CK[ DOG

James Callow Keyword(s): DOG

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Vocabulary
SPEECH -- Formula

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SHAGGY DOG STORY

WANT TO HEAR A SHAGGY DOG STORY? OKAY. THERE WAS THIS YOUNG BOY
WHO OWNED A SHAGGY DOG. EVERYONE WHO SAW THE DOG COMMENTED ON
HOW VERY SHAGGY THIS DOG'S COAT WAS. EVENTUALLY THE BOY WOULD
SAY THAT HE THOUGHT THE DOG WAS VERY SHAGGY TOO. IT CAME TO BE
A KIND OF THING WITH THE NEIGHBORHOOD, THIS BOY AND HIS SHAGGY
DOG. SO YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW THE BOY FELT WHEN HE HEARD THAT THERE
WAS TO BE HELD A SHAGGY DOG CONTEST IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD. NATURALLY
THE BOY AND HIS DOG WON, BECAUSE IT REALLY WAS A VERY SHAGGY DOG.
IN HONOR OF WINNING THE NEIGHBORHOOD CONTEST, THE BOY WAS TOLD,
HE WOULD BE ALLOWED TO ENTER THE CITY-WIDE SHAGGY DOG CONTEST.
NATURALLY, HE WON THAT ONE AS WELL, BECAUSE IT REALLY WAS A VERY
SHAGGY DOG. WELL, TO MAKE WHAT SHOULD BE AN INTERMINABLE STORY
SHORT, THE BOY KEEPS WINNING PROGRESSIVELY LARGER AND LARGER
SHAGGY DOG CONTESTS UNTIL HE FINALLY WINDS UP IN THE SHAGGY DOG
CONTEST OF THE WORLD/OF THE CENTURY. BUT HE GETS DISQUALIFIED
ON A TECHNICALITY AND HE LOSES. THE TOENAILS WERE TOO LARGE, OR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

Submitter comment: THE SURPRISING EFFECTIVENESS OF A TRULY STOOOOPID ENDING
*** SEVERAL LINES WERE APPARENTLY DELETED BY MISTAKE HERE ***
APPEAR TO THE AUDIENCE TO BE AROUND THREE AND A HALF DAYS TO
TELL. THE PERSON WHO IS RELATING THE STORY SHOULD UPON COMPLETION
OF THIS EPIC TOME BEGIN TO BEAM IN A SMUG, SELF-SATISFIED WAY,
OR ELSE GLANCE AT THEIR WATCH AND SAY "WELL, GOTTA RUN."
AT THIS POINT, IT IS ADVISABLE THAT THEY ACTUALLY START RUNNING.....

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): SHAGGY DOG

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale

Date learned: 00001970S

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THE CAMEL STORY

THERE WAS ONCE A MAN WHO WANTED TO BE WEALTHY ENOUGH TO TRAVEL
AROUND THE WORLD. HE DECIDED ON THIS AT THE AGE OF SIXTEEN AND
CAME UP WITH A SCHEDULE TO FOLLOW IN ORDER TO SAVE ENOUGH MONEY
TO GO ON THIS TRIP AT AN EARLY AGE. WHEN HE FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL
HE WENT STRAIGHT TO COLLEGE. HE GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE AT THE
AGE OF TWENTY-0NE AND FOUND A JOB. HE WORKED FOR A FEW YEARS
AND FOUND THAT HE WAS AHEAD OF SCHEDULE. HE THOUGHT HE WOULD BE
ABLE TO SUPPORT A WIFE SO HE GOT MARRIED. HE FOUND THAT HE WORKED
ALL DAY AND HIS WIFE SPENT ALL THE MONEY HE WOULD EARN. HE
DICOVERED HE WAS OFF SCHEDULE AND COULD NO LONGER AFFORD TO BE
MARRIED. HE EXPLAINED THE SITUATION TO HIS WIFE, AND SHE UNDERSTOOD
HIS SITUATION. SHE AGREED TO A DIVORCE. THE MAN BEGAN SAVING AGAIN.
BY NOW HE WAS FORTY-FIVE. HE WANTED TO GO ON THE TRIP BY THE AGE
OF SIXTY-FIVE. HE WORKED AND WORKED AND GOT AHEAD OF SCHEDULE.
HE WAS NOW FIFTY-FIVE AND THOUGHT HE COULD MARRY AGAIN. SO HE
CALLED HIS EX-WIFE AND SHE AGREED TO REMARRY HIM. THINGS WERE
HAPPY UNTIL HE REACHED THE AGE OF SIXTY. HE DISCOVERED HE WAS OFF
SCHEDULE AGAIN AND ASKED HIS WIFE FOR A DIVORCE AGAIN. SHE, BEING
A GOOD PERSON, AGREED. HE NOW HAD FIVE YEARS TO WORK AND BUILD UP
THE NECESSARY CASH RESERVES. FINALLY, AT THE AGE OF SIXTY-FIVE
HE HAD ENOUGH MONEY AND LEFT ON HIS TRIP. HE WENT EVERYWHERE. HE
SAW THE GRAND CANYON. HE WENT TO HAWAII AND DANCED WITH THE HULA
GIRLS. HE SAW ENGLAND AND SCOTLAND AND WENT TO THE VINEYARDS OF
FRANCE. HE WENT TO EGYPT TO SEE THE PYRAMIDS. HE WENT TO AFRICA
ON A HUNT. HE WAS NOW ON THE EDGE OF THE SAHARA DESERT. HE WAS
RUNNING OUT OF MONEY BUT WANTED TO TAKE A TRIP ACROSS THE DESERT
BEFORE HE WENT HOME. HE WAS ABOUT TO LEAVE WHEN HE LOOKED THROUGH
HIS FIELD GLASSES AND SAW SOMETHING OUT IN THE DESERT.
"DO YOU SEE ANYTHING OUT THERE?" HE ASKED A CAMEL JOCKEY.
"NO", SAID THE CAMEL JOCKEY. HE TOOK ANOTHER LOOK THROUGH HIS
FIELD GLASS AND COULD SWEAR HE SAW SOMETHING. NOW HE WAS CAPTIVATED.
HE DECIDED TO STAY AND WAIT TO SEE WHAT WAS OUT THERE. HE WAITED
UNTIL THE NEXT MORNING AND ASKED THE SAME CAMEL JOCKEY IF HE SAW
ANYTHING OUT IN THE DESERT. THE CAMEL JOCKEY LOOKED THROUGH THE
FIELD GLASSES. HE SAID, "I THINK I SEE SOMETHING. IT'S ABOUT TWO
DAYS OUT." THIS MADE THE MAN EVEN MORE INTERESTED AND ANXIOUS TO
SEE WHAT IT WAS. HE DECIDED TO SIT AND WAIT UNTIL HE COULD FIND
OUT WHAT IT WAS OUT IN THE DESERT. BY THIS TIME IT WAS NEARING
HIS DEPARTURE TIME HOME TO THE USA. HE GOT UP THE NEXT MORNING
AND COULD SEE SOMETHING. IT LOOKED LIKE A CAMEL WITH SOME PEOPLE.
HE COULDN'T QUITE MAKE OUT WHAT THEY LOOKED LIKE. NOW HE WAS
REALLY INTERESTED. HE DECIDED TO FORGET ABOUT THE TRIP ACROSS
THE DESERT AND WAIT UNTIL THE PEOPLE CAME INTO THE OASIS. THE
NEXT MORNING HE GOT UP AND COULD MAKE OUT THE PEOPLE WITH THE
CAMEL. THERE WAS A MAN ON THE CAMEL AND A WOMAN WITH A BABY WALKING
BEHIND. THEY WERE ABOUT TWELVE HOURS OUT. THE MAN WAITED
PATIENTLY. AT ABOUT NOON HE LOOKED OUT INTO THE DESERT AGAIN. NOW
HE COULD MAKE OUT THE PICTURE CLEARLY. THE MAN STOPPED THE CAMEL
AND LET THE WOMAN CHANGE THE BABY. AFTER SHE WAS FINISHED HE GOT
BACK ON THE CAMEL AND CONTINUED THE JOURNEY. THE WOMAN TRAILED
BEHIND AND KEPT FALLING IN THE SAND WITH THE BABY. NOW THE MAN
WAS UPSET. WHY WOULDN'T THE MAN LET THE WOMAN RIDE THE CAMEL?
HE DECIDED HE WOULD WAIT AND ASK THE DRIVER. FINALLY AT ABOUT
SIX P.M. THE MAN RODE THE CAMEL IN AND HIS WIFE FOLLOWED BEHIND.
FIRST THE MAN GOT A DRINK OF WATER THEN HE LET HIS CAMEL DRINK.
AFTER THE CAMEL FINISHED DRINKING THEN IT WAS THE WIFE'S TURN.
NOW THE MAN WAS ENRAGED. HE ASKED THE CAMEL JOCKEY, " WHY WOULDN'T
YOU LET YOUR WIFE RIDE THE CAMEL?!!" THE CAMEL JOCKEY ANSWERED,"
BECAUSE IN OUR COUNTRY IT IS A CUSTOM FOR THE MAN TO RIDE THE
CAMEL." HAVING RECEIVED THE ANSWER, THE MAN FINISHED HIS JOURNEY
HOME.

Submitter comment: THIS STORY WAS TOLD TO ME BY AN ENGLISH TEACHER BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL.
IT ORIGINATED IN THE DESERT DURING WWII. IT WAS PASSED ALONG THROUGH
THE TROOPS AND MADE IT HOME TO THE USA. IT WAS DESIGNED TO AD-LIB
TO FIT THE MOOD OF THE TELLER.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; CHEBOYGAN

James Callow Keyword(s): SHAGGY DOG STORY

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale

Date learned: 00-00-1980

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Dead puppies!/ Dead, dead, dead puppies / Aren't much fun!
My puppy died / Late last fall / He's still lying in the hall!

Submitter comment: The collector heard this when she was a child. It's a simple
song where the words are changed around to add to the song.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): DOG

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children

Date learned: 04-00-1991

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TEETHING

IF A PERSON HAS ASTHMA, IF HE SLEEPS WITH A CHIHUAHUA IT
WILL CURE HIM.

Where learned: TENNESSEE ; NASHVILLE

James Callow Keyword(s): DOG

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Mammal
BELIEF -- Animal

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Legend

CROSS ON WHICH CHRIST WAS CRUCIFIED WAS SUPPOSEDLY
OF DOGWOOD. THUS THE DOGWOOD FLOWER IS SHAPED LIKE A
CRUCIFIX AS A REMINDER OF THE CRUCIFIXTION. THE TEAR
DROP IN THE CENTER OF THE FLOWER REPRESENTS A TEAR
WHICH IS SHED FOR THE DEATH OF CHRIST.

Submitter comment:

ORIGIN: UNKNOWN

Data entry tech comment:

Updated on 2011-02-22 by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): Christ ; CURSE ; Cursed ; DEATH ; Dogwood ; FLOWER ; Legend ; RELIGION ; Story ; Tale ; Tear ; Tree

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Plant

Date learned: 07-30-1964

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WINDOW IN THE DOGGIE JOKE

THERE WAS AN ECCENTRIC OLD LADY WHO HAD A LITTLE DOG
THAT SHE LOVED VERY MUCH AND JUST DOTED ON. THE DOG WAS
GETTING OLD AND HADN'T BEEN FELLING WELL, SO THE LADY TOOK
IT TO THE VET. THE DOCTOR TOLD HER THAT THE DOG HAD A
WEAK HEART AND WOULDN'T BE AROUND MUCH LONGER. HE SAID
HE JUST HAD A DOG WHO DIED AND SUGGESTED A HEART TRANSPLANT.
THE LADY CONSENTED AND THE DOCTOR WAS REALLY EXCITED
BECAUSE THIS WAS A FIRST--A HEART TRANSPLANT IN A DOG. THE
LADY WAS WATCHING THE DELICATE OPERATION AND THE SKILLFUL
DOCTOR ASKED THAT SINCE HE WAS ALREADY OPERATING, COULD
HE PUT A WINDOW IN THE DOG SO THEY COULD WATCH THE NEW
HEART WORK. THE LADY BEGAN TO WORRY ABOUT MONEY, BUT
CONSENTED ANYWAY.
FINALLY SHE GOT SO WORRIED ABOUT THE COST OF THE OPERATION
AND EVERYTHING THAT SHE THOUGHT SHE {HAD} BETTER INQUIRE
ABOUT IT. SHE ASKED THE DOCTOR, "HOW MUCH IS THAT WINDOW
IN THE DOGGIE?"

Where learned: INDIANA ; University of Notre Dame

Keyword(s): SONG: HOW MUCH IS THAT DOGGIE IN THE WINDOW.

James Callow Keyword(s): HOW MUCH IS THAT DOGGIE IN THE WINDOW?

Subject headings: 6677 Formula Tale

Date learned: 03-28-1971

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