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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

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WHEN I'M DEAD AND IN MY GRAVE,
NO MORE WHISKEY SHALL I CRAVE,
FOR ON MY TOMBSTONE SHALL BE WROTE,
MANY A QUART'S WENT DOWN MY THROAT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GARDEN CITY

Keyword(s): DRINKING ; METER: ANAPESTIC DIMETER ; MONOLOGUE QUATRAIN EPITAPH EUPHEMISM ; POOR GRAMMAR ; RHYME: MASCULINE, AABB

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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SPARKLE, STARKLE, LITTLE TWINK,
WHO THE TELL YOU ARE I HINK.
I'M NOT IMBRICATED,
I'M NOT AS DRUNK AS SOME TINKLE PEEP I AM.
I'VE ONLY HAD TEA MARTOONIES,
ANYWAY I'VE ALL DAY SOBER TO SUNDAY UP IN.
I FOOL SO FEELISH, I DON'T KNOW WHO IS ME YET,
BUT THE DRUNKER I STAND HERE,
THE LONGER I GET.

Submitter comment: LEARNED IN GRADE SCHOOL.

Where learned: OHIO

Keyword(s): CONTRADICTIONS MONOLOGUE HUMOR ; EUPHEMISM PARODY DRINKING ; NONSENSE WORDS METER TROCHEE ; TANGLETALK

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse Lyrical Verse

Date learned: 00-00-1948

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IF YOU'RE GOING TO PUSH ON THE THROTTLE,
DON'T PULL (DRINK) ON THE BOTTLE.

Submitter comment: A WARNING!

Where learned: DETROIT ; MICHIGAN, ASSUMED

Keyword(s): AUTOMOBILE CAR ; DRINKING DRUNKENNESS

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Food Drink
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Proverb Proverb
ART CRAFT ARCHITECTURE -- Means of transportation Vehicle propelled by mechanical or other force on land
Food Drink -- N447

Date learned: 11-00-1971

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VERSE

MM[ CANDY IS DANDY,
BUT LIQUOR IS QUICKER.

Submitter comment: THIS WAS WRITTEN IN AUTOGRAPH BOOK 1938

Data entry tech comment: DIVIDED BY KEYPUNCHER

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): DRINKING ; OBSERVATION

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse Chimney corner wisdom, advice, humorous fortune

Date learned: 10-06-1970

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AUTOGRAPH

IF YOUR HUSBAND IS THIRSTY
AND HE WANTS A DRINK,
TAKE HIM TO THE KITCHEN
AND SHOW HIM TO THE SINK)

Where learned: LOCATION NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

Keyword(s): COMMAND ; DRINK ; HUMOR ; MARRAIGE ; RHYME ABCB ; SURPRISE ENDING

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse Matrimony

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TALE

A MAN HAD JUST PURCHASED A NEW CAR. AFTER DRIVING IT FOR TWO
WEEKS, HE DISCOVERED AN AWFUL RATTLE IN THE DOOR. TAKING IT TO
A GARAGE TO FIND OUT WHAT WAS WRONG, HE DISCOVERED AN EMPTY
COKE BOTTLE WAS LODGED IN THE DOOR.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BIRMINGHAM

Keyword(s): AUTOMOBILE ; COKE=COCA COLA: BRAND NAME FOR SOFT DRINK.

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
ART CRAFT ARCHITECTURE -- Means of transportation Vehicle propelled by mechanical or other force on land

Date learned: 00-00-1965

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SINGING, DANCING, AND CLAPPING GAME

PEPSI COLA, COCA COLA, ROYAL CROWN, YOU GOT TO HYPNOTIZE THEM,
BOOMERIZE THEM, KNOCK THEM DOWN. YOU KNOW THAT PEPSI COLA SHOT 'EM
DOWN. DR. PEPPER PICKED THEM UP AND NOW WE'RE DRINKING SEVEN-UP.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): CARBONATED BEVERAGES POP SOFT DRINKS ; NEOLOGISM: BOOMERIZE

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Game Verse C750.523

Date learned: 11-00-1974

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SIGNATURES

YOURS TILL THE UNITED STATES DRINKS CANADA DRY.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN. CANADA DRY II BRAND OF SOFT DRINK.

Subject headings: Z210

Date learned: 09-00-1973

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BUBBLES IN COFFEE

IF THE BUBBLES IN A FRESHLY POURED CUP OF COFFEE CAN BE LIFTED OUT
OF THE CUP BY A SPOON BEFORE THEY DISAPPEAR, THEN THAT PERSON WILL
COME INTO MONEY.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; PORT HURON

James Callow Keyword(s): DRINK

Subject headings: Food Drink -- Non-alcoholic fruit beverage Coffee
BELIEF -- Use of Object

Date learned: 10-30-1972

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Entry filtered.

Ethnic Joke: Polish

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A POLISH WEDDING AND A POLISH
FUNERAL? ONE LESS DRUNK.

Data entry tech comment:

BN updated by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN

James Callow Keyword(s): DRINKING

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 00001970 SUMMER

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SAINT PATRICK'S DAY

DRINKING GREEN BEER IS ANOTHER TRADITIONAL CUSTOM. YOU DRINK THE
HEALTH OF IRELAND, GOD, AND YOUR FAMILY.

Where learned: HOME ; RELATIVES HOME

James Callow Keyword(s): DRINKING A TOAST

Subject headings: CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- March 17 Feast of St. Patrick
Food Drink -- Alcoholic beverage Fermented
BELIEF -- Color
SPEECH -- Formula

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COMMERCIAL RIDDLE

Q: WHAT HAS A HEAD BUT NO HAIR?
A: KOEHLER BEER.

Where learned: PENNSYLVANIA ; ERIE

Keyword(s): EATABLES AND DRINKS (A) ; PARTS OF THE BODY (Q) ; PRIVATIONAL

James Callow Keyword(s): SLANG: HEAD FOR FOAM

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- True Riddle

Date learned: 00-00-1963

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RIDDLE

Q: WHAT HAS A HEAD AND CANNOT THINK?
A: A CABBAGE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): EATABLES AND DRINKS (A) ; PART OF THE BODY (Q) ; PRIVATIONAL

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- True Riddle

Date learned: 00-00-1965

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RIDDLE

Q: WHAT HAS ONE LEG AND HIS HEART IN HIS HEAD?
A: A STUFFED CABBAGE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SOUTHFIELD

Keyword(s): EATABLES AND DRINKS (A) ; METAPHORICAL ; PART OF THE BODY (Q)

James Callow Keyword(s): VEGETABLE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- True Riddle

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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RIDDLE

Q: WHY IS A TIGHT BOOT LIKE AN OAK TREE?
A: BECAUSE THEY BOTH GIVE CORNS.

Where learned: NOT GIVEN BY COLLECTOR

Keyword(s): EATABLES AND DRINKS ; NATURAL PHENOMENON (Q) ; WEARABLE (Q)

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- True Riddle

Date learned: 10-23-1968

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RIDDLE

Q: WHAT HAS EARS AND CANNOT HEAR?
A: AN EAR OF CORN.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): EATABLES AND DRINKS (A) ; PARTS OF THE BODY (Q) ; PRIVATIONAL

James Callow Keyword(s): VEGETABLE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- True Riddle

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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RIDDLE

Q: WHAT KIND OF NUT HAS NO SHELL?
A: DOUGHNUT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): EATABLES AND DRINKS (A) ; EATABLES AND DRINKS (Q) ; PRIVATIONAL

James Callow Keyword(s): PASTRY

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- True Riddle

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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MIZSLE - LITHUANIAN RIDDLE

Q: PRAMUSI LEDAZ, RASE SIDABIG; PRANUISE SIDABIG, RASIAUKSG.
Q: BREAK ICE, FIND SILVER; BREAK SILVER, FIND GOLD.
A: KIAUSINIS - AN EGG.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): EATABLES AND DRINKS ; MONETARY (Q) ; NATURAL PHENOMENON (Q)

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- True Riddle

Date learned: 03-08-1968

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RIDDLE

Q: WHAT IS ALWAYS BROKEN BEFORE IT IS USED?
A: AN EGG.

Data entry tech comment: ANOTHER VARIANT IN U OF D FOLKLORE 5 X 8 CARD FILES.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ACTION (Q) ; CAUSAL OPPOSITIONAL ; EATABLES AND DRINKS (A)

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- True Riddle

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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EGG JOKE (SIC)

Q: WHAT IS HARD ON THE OUT SIDE, SOFT ON THE INSIDE, AND IMPOSSIBLE
TO GET INTO WITHOUT BREAKING IT ?
A: AN EGG.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SOUTHFIELD

Keyword(s): ACTION (Q) ; EATABLES AND DRINKS (A) ; STATE OF BEING (Q)

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- True Riddle

Date learned: 11-10-1969

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