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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

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Your search for JOKE returned 176 results.

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PRACTICAL JOKE

WHEN A NEW WORKER BEGINS TO CLEAN TOILETS FOR THE FIRST TIME AT
COBO HALL, HE IS ASKED REPEATEDLY BY THE OLDER WORKERS IF HE HAS
A STATE BOARD OF HEALTH CARD. IF HE SAYS NO, WHICH HE ALMOST
CERTAINLY WILL, HE IS REPRIMANDED FOR NOT TELLING THE SUPERVISOR
AND RISKING A POSSIBLE FINE AGAINST THE COMPANY.

Submitter comment: THIS QUESTION HAS BEEN ASKED OF ALL WORKERS, INCLUDING MYSELF, AT
LEAST SINCE I STARTED WORK THERE 3 1/2 YEARS AGO.I FOUND OUT FROM
OTHER WORKERS THAT THEY ALSO WERE ASKED THIS QUESTION. THE LONGEST
WORKING EMPLOYEE ASKED WAS A WORKER WITH 10 YEARS SENIORITY.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): HOAX PRACTICAL JOKE

Subject headings: CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion

Date learned: 00-00-1971

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JERRY FORD JOKE

Q: WHICH MEMBERS OF HIS FAMILY DOES JERRY FORD TALK TO BEFORE CASTING
HIS VOTE ON ELECTION DAY?
A: ALL FIVE OF THEM. JERRY HOLDS THE LEVER AND WHEN HE SAYS "NOW:"
THEY JERK THE VOTING MACHINE UP AND DOWN.

Submitter comment: PRESIDENT

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): INSULT ; NUMBERS ; POLISH JOKE? ; PRESIDENT GERALD FORD

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Secular hero
RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 10-00-1975

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LEMME KISS YUH

WHAT IS YOUR NAME LITTLE BOY?
MY NAME IS LEMME.
LEMME WHAT LITTLE BOY?
LEMME KISS YUH!

WHAT IS YOUR NAME LITTLE GIRL?
MY NAME IS IDA.
IDA WHAT LITTLE GIRL?
IDA'NT (DON'T) WANTA!

WHAT IS YOUR NAME LITTLE BOY?
MY NAME IS LEMME.
LEMME WHAT LITTLE BOY?
LEMME KISS YUH!

WHAT IS YOUR NAME LITTLE GIRL?
MY NAME IS ASKA.
ASKA WHAT LITTLE GIRL?
ASKA MY MOMMA!

WHAT IS YOUR NAME LITTLE BOY?
MY NAME IS LEMME.
LEMME WHAT LITTLE BOY?
LEMME KISS YUH!

WHAT IS YOUR NAME LITTLE GIRL?
MY NAME IS OLLIE.
OLLIE WHAT LITTLE LITTLE GIRL?
OLLIE RIGHT! (PUCKER LIPS AND KISS THE AIR)

Submitter comment:

OBTAINED FROM CAMP STAPLETON ABOUT TWELVE YEARS AGO [1953]. ONE OF THE
COUNSELORS TAUGHT IT TO US AS WE SAT AROUND THE CAMPFIRE
SINGING.

Data entry tech comment:

Informant and collector are the same person.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): GESTURE ; KNOCK KNOCK JOKE ; QUESTION AND ANSWER

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest

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LEGEND

ST. PATRICK ORIGINALLY CAME FROM THE AREA OF LEBANON, THEN
KNOWN AS A WHOLE AS PHOENICIA. AFTER CONVERTING IRELAND, HE
STARTED HOME AGAIN. BUT A HUGE STORM BLEW UP AND THEY BECAME
LOST. WHEN THE STORM FINALLY SETTLED, THEY FOUND THEMSELVES OFF
THE COAST OF IRELAND AGAIN SO THEY DECIDED TO SETTLE THERE. AND SO
IRISHMEN ARE JUST DUMB LEBANESE WHO COULDN'T FIND THEIR WAY HOME.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ETHNIC JOKE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Religious hero
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Product or activity of man or animal

Date learned: 00-00-1967

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Joke

THIS STORY IS TOLD WITH THE INTENTION OF MAKING SOMEONE FEEL FOOLISH
OR UNCOMFORTABLE. THE STORY GOES: A MAN AND HIS DOG WALK INTO THIS
RESTAURANT AND SIT DOWN AT A TABLE. A WAITRESS WALKS UP AND ASKS
"WHAT'LL YOU HAVE?" AND THE MAN SAYS "I'LL HAVE A STEAK, WELL DONE,
SOME MASHED POTATOES, AND A SALAD. AND BRING ME A PIECE OF APPLE PIE
FOR MY DOG." THE WAITRESS REPLIES, "I'M SORRY SIR, WE DON'T HAVE ANY
APPLE PIE, WILL PEACH PIE DO?"
AT THIS POINT SEVERAL PEOPLE WHO ARE "IN" ON WHAT IS HAPPENING LAUGH
HYSTERICALLY. OF COURSE, THE OUTSIDER DOESN'T, AND PREFERABLY SOME
OF THE CONSPIRATORS DON'T EITHER. THE NARRATOR EXPRESSES DISBELIEF
THAT THE POINT OF THE STORY WAS MISSED, AND ASKS THAT SOMEONE ELSE
TELL IT("MAYBE I DIDN'T TELL IT WELL."). THE CONSPIRATORS TAKE TURNS
TELLING THE STORY AND EACH TIME ANOTHER PERSON JOINS IN THE LAUGHTER
("I GET IT NOW}"). FINALLY ONLY THE OUTSIDER IS LEFT CONFUSED OVER
THE MEANING OF THE STORY.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ABSURD ; DOG ; JOKE ; Pie ; Pointless ; POTATO ; RIDDLE ; Waitress

James Callow Keyword(s): BRUNVAND ; SHAGGY DOG STORY

Subject headings: Favorites
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale

Date learned: CA00001970

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KNOCK-KNOCK JOKE

KNOCK-KNOCK. WHO'S THERE?
JOHN.
JOHN WHO?
JOHN THE BAPTIST.

Submitter comment: THE PERSON WHO IS TELLING THE JOKE IS SUPPOSED TO PUT A LITTLE
WATER IN HIS HAND BEFORE TELLING IT AND WHEN HE GETS TO THE END OF
THE JOKE HE SPRINKLES THE WATER ON THE PERSON HE IS TELLING IT TO.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): HUMOR

James Callow Keyword(s): PRACTICAL JOKE

Subject headings: --

Date learned: 10-02-1967

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TELEPHONE PRANK

CALL SOMEONE.
ASK IF THEIR REFRIGERATOR IS RUNNING.
IF YES, TELL THEM, "YOU'D BETTER CATCH IT."

Submitter comment: LEARNED FROM MY CHILDHOOD

Where learned: SUN PRAIRIE ; WISCONSIN, ASSUMED

Keyword(s): HUMOR JOKE

Subject headings: --

Date learned: DATE NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR.

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TELEPHONE PRANK

CALL A BAR; ASK IF THEY HAVE POP IN BOTTLES. IF ANSWER IS YES, SAY
"YOU'D BETTER LET HIM OUT, MOM WANTS HIM AT HOME."

Submitter comment: LEARNED FROM MY CHILDHOOD

Where learned: SUN PRAIRIE ; WISCONSIN, ASSUMED

Keyword(s): HUMOR PRACTICAL JOKE METAPHOR SODA

Subject headings: --

Date learned: DATE NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

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Entry filtered.

ITALIAN RIDDLE

HOW MANY PALLBEARERS ARE AT AN ITALIAN FUNERAL?
2- GARBAGE PAILS HAVE ONLY TWO HANDLES}

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ETHNIC JOKE HUMOR

Subject headings:

Date learned: 10-14-1968

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LIVING LEGEND

VINCE LOMBARDY IS REGARDED BY MANY FOOTBALL FANS AS A MIRACLE
MAN. NATURALLY, SINCE HE PERFORMS MIRACLES, IT IS LOGICAL THAT
HE WOULD BE LIKENED TO GOD. IT SEEMS THAT VINCE RETURNED HOME
ONE COLD NIGHT IN GREEN BAY. HIS WIFE HAD ALREADY RETIRED, SO HE
JUST CRAWLED INTO BED. HIS WIFE AWOKE AND EXCLAIMED "GOD ARE
YOUR FEET COLD." VINCE TURNED OVER AND SAID, "THAT'S ALL RIGHT,
HONEY. WE'RE HOME NOW. YOU CAN CALL ME VINCE."

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): FOOTBALL JOKE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Secular hero
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man

Date learned: 00-00-1966

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RIDDLE

WHAT'S BLUE AND GOES DING-DONG?
A FROZEN AVON LADY.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): DEFINITION

James Callow Keyword(s): DOOR-TO-DOOR SALESWOMAN ; SICK JOKE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- True Riddle

Date learned: 02-20-1968

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ELEPHANT JOKE

QUESTION: WHAT DID THE GRAPE SAY WHEN THE ELEPHANT STEPPED ON IT?
ANSWER: NOTHING, IT JUST LET OUT A LITTLE WHINE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HARPER WOODS

Keyword(s): CONUNDRUM ; RIDDLE JOKE: ELEPHANTS

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN ON WINE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 11-10-1968

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RIDDLE QUESTION: CLOCK

"WHAT IS IT WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES 13?"
ANSWER: "TIME TO BUY A NEW CLOCK."

Submitter comment: INFORMANT IS JUST HAVING FUN BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS THAT THERE IS
NO CLOCK THAT WILL INFORM YOU THAT IT IS 13 O'CLOCK.
INFORMANT LEARNED IT AT WORK.

Where learned: HOME

Keyword(s): RIDDLE JOKE: CLOCKS

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 11-11-1971

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WHAT WEIGHS 1000 LBS. AND CHEEPS?
TWO 500 LB. CANARIES.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): BIRDS: CANARIES ; RIDDLE JOKE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 00-00-1971

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Entry filtered.

WHY DID THE MORON THROW A CLOCK OUT THE WINDOW?
HE WANTED TO SEE TIME FLY.

Where learned: NOT GIVEN

Keyword(s): RIDDLE JOKE: MORON JOKE

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Proverbial Phrase
RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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RIDDLE

WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS AN ELEPHANT AND A COW?
PEANUT BUTTER.

Submitter comment: LEARNED FROM A FRIEND.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ANIMALS: COWS ; ANIMALS: ELEPHANTS ; RIDDLE JOKE: CROSSING ONE THING WITH ANOTHER

James Callow Keyword(s): HYBRID

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 10-13-1967

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ELEPHANT JOKE

WHAT WAS THE ELEPHANT DOING ON THE HIGHWAY?
OH, ABOUT TEN MILES AN HOUR.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ANIMALS: ELEPHANTS ; RIDDLE JOKE: ELEPHANT JOKE

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN ON DOING

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 09-00-1968

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DEAD BABY JOKE

WHY DID THE DEAD BABY CROSS THE ROAD?
BECAUSE HE WAS STAPLED TO THE CHICKEN.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BIRMINGHAM

James Callow Keyword(s): SICK JOKE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 00-00-1983

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DEAD BABY JOKE

WHAT'S RED, WHITE AND BLUE AND TRAVELS AT A HIGH VELOCITY OF SPEED? NO, NOT SUPERMAN, - A DEAD BABY IN A BLENDER.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; CAMPUS

James Callow Keyword(s): SICK JOKE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 00-00-1983

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Entry filtered.

WHY DID THEY STOP THE LEPER  HOCKEY GAME IN THE SECOND
HALF? BECAUSE THERE WAS A FACE OFF IN THE CORNER!

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN ; SICK JOKE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 10-00-1983

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