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THE ICE CUBE STORY
THERE WAS THIS GUY BY THE NAME OF SAM, AND SAM HAD A JOB DELIVERING
ICE CUBES. SAM HAD BEEN DOING THIS JOB FOR 20 YEARS OR SO AND WAS
PRETTY HAPPY WITH IT. ONE DAY THE ICE CUBE COMPANY GOT AN ORDER FROM
THE HOTEL IN TOWN FOR 1000 ICE CUBES AND SAM WENT OUT TO THE ICE
HOUSE AND COUNTED OUT THE CUBES AND LOADED THEM ON HIS TRUCK. THEN
HE STARTED OUT FOR THE HOTEL. ON THE WAY THERE A BUS RAN INTO HIS
TRUCK AND SCATTERED THE ICE CUBES ALL OVER THE STREET. POOR SAM
GOT OUT AND PICKED UP ALL THE CUBES AND COUNTED THEM. HE WAS
RELIEVED TO FIND THAT ALL 1000 CUBES WERE THERE, AND SINCE THE
TRUCK WAS STILL DRIVABLE, HE GOT BACK IN AND CONTINUED ON HIS WAY
TO THE HOTEL. WELL, JUST AS HE WAS ABOUT THERE, IN FACT, WITHIN
A BLOCK OF THE PLACE ANOTHER DELIVERY TRUCK HIT HIM. WELL, SAM GOT
OUT AND AGAIN BEGAN TO COUNT THE CUBES. THIS TIME WHEN HE FINISHED
THERE WERE ONLY 999. SAM THOUGHT TO HIMSELF, IT'S BEEN A TOUGH DAY.
I COULD EASILY HAVE MISCOUNTED. BESIDES, WHO'S GOING TO MISS ONE
ICE CUBE IN A THOUSAND. SO HE DELIVERED THE CUBES AND WENT HOME
AND THOUGHT NO MORE ABOUT IT. THE NEXT MORNING, EARLY, HE GOT A
PHONE CALL FROM HIS BOSS AT THE CUBE COMPANY, AND HE SAID, SAM,
THERE'S SOMETHING WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT, CAN YOU COME DOWN RIGHT
AWAY. SAM SAID, SURE, I'LL BE RIGHT OVER, AND HE DROVE DOWN TO THE
COMPANY NOT PARTICULARLY WORRIED SINCE AS I'VE SAID HE WORKED
THERE FOR 20 YEARS. WELL, HE WALKED IN TO THE BOSS'S OFFICE AND THE
BOSS SAID, SAM, YESTERDAY YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DELIVER A THOUSAND
ICE CUBES
TO THE HOTEL AND YOU ONLY DELIVERED 999. I'M SORRY, YOU'RE FIRED.
THIS ONE IS TOLD FIRST AND THEN THE OTHER WITH ONE OR TWO OTHERS TOLD
IN BETWEEN. THE ICE CUBE IS THEN FOUND IN THE DOG'S MOUTH.
{HERE IS STORY NO. 701604-17.}
THE NEWLY WED COUPLE
A MAN AND A WOMAN HAD BEEN MARRIED FOR A WHILE, AND THEY
WERE JUST ABOUT TO THE POINT WHERE THE HONEYMOON WAS OVER. IN THE
COURSE OF THEIR MARRIAGE THE HUSBAND HAD PICKED UP ONE HABIT THAT
REALLY ANNOYED THE WIFE AND THE WIFE HAD ONE THING THAT THE HUSBAND
COULD NOT STAND. THE HUSBAND'S WAS THAT HE WOULD SMOKE THESE BIG
BLACK CIGARS AND THE WIFE'S WAS AN UGLY POODLE THAT SHE HAD MANICURED
AND CUT AND SO FORTH . ONE TIME THEY WENT ON A VACATION TOGETHER AND
SINCE IT WAS COLD OUT THEY HAD TO KEEP THE WINDOWS ROLLED UP. THE
HUSBAND WAS SMOKING AWAY AND THE WIFE SAID, IF YOU DON'T PUT OUT THAT
CIGAR I'M GOING TO TAKE IT AND THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW. THE HUSBAND
SAID, IF YOU DO THAT I'LL TAKE THAT DOG OUT OF THE BACK SEAT AND
THROW HIM OUT THE WINDOW. WELL, THEY DROVE ON IN SILENCE FOR ABOUT
30 MILES UNTIL THE WIFE COULDN'T TAKE IT ANY LONGER, AND SHE REACHED
OVER, GRABBED THE CIGAR, AND THREW IT OUT THE WINDOW. THE HUSBAND
THEN REACHED BACK AND GRABBED THE DOG OUT OF THE BACK SEAT AND THREW
IT OUT THE WINDOW. THEY DROVE ON AND COMPLETED THEIR VACATION IN
SILENCE. ABOUT TWO MONTHS LATER THEY WERE SITTING AT HOME , STILL
NOT TALKING TO EACH OTHER, WHEN THEY HEARD A SCRATCHING AT THE DOOR.
THEY WENT TO THE DOOR AND OPENED IT AND SURE ENOUGH THERE WAS THE
POODLE AND HE HAD SOMETHING IN HIS MOUTH, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT WAS?
RIGHT, IT WAS THE ICE CUBE.
Submitter comment:
THIS STORY IS USED IN CONNECTION WITH SEQUENCE NUMBER 701604-17.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): IRONY PESSIMISM
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale |
Date learned: 11-00-1973
THE STATUE OF THE MINUTEMAN AT RUSSELL SAGE COLLEGE FIRES HIS
MUSKET WHENEVER A VIRGIN GRADUATES. THE MUSKET HAS NEVER BEEN HEARD.
Where learned: NEW YORK ; TROY
James Callow Keyword(s): PESSIMISM INDIRECTION
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Product or activity of man or animal |
Date learned: 00-00-1968
PROVERB
AS YOU WANDER THROUGH LIFE MY FRIEND
WHATEVER BE YOUR GOAL
KEEP YOUR EYE UPON THE DOUGHNUT
AND NOT UPON THE HOLE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SAINT CLAIR SHORES
Keyword(s): FOOD
James Callow Keyword(s): ADVICE: ; ADVICE: POSITIVE ; OPTIMISM, NOT PESSIMISM ; VERSE
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Proverb PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: 02-27-1971
PROVERB
DON'T WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING BECAUSE NOTHING'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT.
Submitter comment: HEARD IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Where learned: OHIO
Keyword(s): SEMANTICS
James Callow Keyword(s): ADVICE: NEGATIVE ; IRONY ; PARADOX ; PESSIMISM
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Apothegm Maxim |
Date learned: 00-00-1955
PROVERB
BREAD ALWAYS FALLS ON THE BUTTERED SIDE.
Where learned: HOME
Keyword(s): ANIMATED NATURE ; FOOD
James Callow Keyword(s): OBSERVATION ; PESSIMISM
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Bad luck PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: 10-01-1965
UNTITLED
AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN THE TALE IS THAT A LION ROARS WHEN
A GIRL WALKS BY THE LION STATUES GUARDING THE MUSEUM. THE GIRL
MUST BE A VIRGIN. THIS HASN'T HAPPENED YET, AND PROBABLY WILL
NOT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK
James Callow Keyword(s): IRONY? ; PESSIMISM ; SEXISM
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Human Being BELIEF -- Product or activity of man or animal |
Date learned: 10-00-1967
MORAL PROVERB
EVEN THOUGH A HORSE HAS FOUR LEGS HE STILL GETS STUCK IN THE MUD.
Submitter comment:
EVEN THOSE WHO HAVE EVERYTHING ARE STILL SUBJECT TO MISFORTUNE.
TRANSLATED FROM LITHUANIAN
Where learned: DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): OBSERVATION ; PESSIMISM ; SYMBOL
| Subject headings: | 686 Fourths / Quarters BELIEF -- Body part Senses Lower body, legs PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: 02-17-1971
PROVERB
EVERY BEAN HAS ITS BLACK.
Submitter comment: FROM HIS MOTHER.
Where learned: HOME
Keyword(s): ALLITERATION ; COLOR ; FOOD
James Callow Keyword(s): FAULTS ; OBSERVATION ; PESSIMISM ; SYMBOL
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: 10-26-1967
PROVERB
EVERY HOUSE HAS ITS CROSS.
Submitter comment: MISS VANNESTE LEARNED THIS FROM HER FLEMISH GRANDMOTHER.
Where learned: DETROIT
Keyword(s): RELIGION
James Callow Keyword(s): OBSERVATION ; PESSIMISM ; SYMBOL ; TROUBLE
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: 10-02-1967
POLISH PROVERB
EVERYONE HAS HIS OWN MOTH THAT BITES HIM.
(POLISH) KAZDY MA SWEGO MOLA COGO GRYZJE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
Keyword(s): INSECT
James Callow Keyword(s): OBSERVATION ; PESSIMISM ; SYMBOL ; TRANSLATION
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: 11-21-1967
PROVERB
THE EVIL MEN DO LIVE AFTER THEM, THE GOOD IS OFTEN INTERRED WITH
THEIR BONES.
Submitter comment: FROM UNCERTAIN.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GROSSE POINTE
James Callow Keyword(s): CONTRAST ; PESSIMISM
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Body part Senses Eyes, evil eye PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: 00001964 (SUMMER)
PROVERB IN VERSE
NEEDLES AND PINS, NEEDLES AND PINS
WHEN A MAN MARRIES, HIS TROUBLE BEGINS
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; CAMPUS
James Callow Keyword(s): ADVICE: NEGATIVE ; MATRIMONY ; OBSERVATION ; PESSIMISM ; SEXISM
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Proverb Proverb BELIEF -- P545.0 |
PROVERB IN VERSE
NEEDLES AND PINS NEEDLES AND PINS
WHEN YOU GET MARRIED YOUR TROUBLES BEGIN
Submitter comment: MY MOTHER REMEMBERS BEING TOLD THIS PROVERB IN HER YOUTH
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): ADVICE: NEGATIVE ; MATRIMONY ; OBSERVATION ; PESSIMISM ; SEXISM
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Proverb Proverb BELIEF -- P545.0 |
Date learned: 04-04-1970
PROVERBIAL APOTHEGM
NEVER RETURN SALT BECAUSE YOUR FRIENDSHIP WILL BE DISSOLVED
Submitter comment: LEARNED IN GLOUCESTER, OHIO AND STILL BIDES BY IT TODAY
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): MISFORTUNE ; OBSERVATION ; PESSIMISM
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Mineral BELIEF -- Mineral BELIEF -- Number Emptiness, nothingness, zero PROVERB -- Proverbial Apothegm Maxim |
Date learned: 05-11-1965
IRISH PROVERB
OLD AGE NEVER COMES ALONE
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GRAND RAPIDS
James Callow Keyword(s): OPTIMISM ; PESSIMISM ; RATIONALIZATION
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Number Emptiness, nothingness, zero PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: 04-17-1971
LEGEND
AT MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY THERE IS A TOWER CALLED BEAUMONT
IN WHICH THERE ARE TWO STEEPLES, EVERY TIME A VIRGIN
IS GRADUATED FROM THIS SCHOOL, ONE OF THE TWO STEEPLES
ARE KNOCKED DOWN TO HONOR HER. THESE TWO STEEPLES HAVE BEEN
THERE SINCE 1865.
Submitter comment: FROM ROOM MATE.
Data entry tech comment: COLLECTOR'S SPELLING CORRECTED BY KEYPUNCHER.
Where learned: DORM ; MICHIGAN STATE
James Callow Keyword(s): ANTIFEMINISM ; PESSIMISM ; SATIRE ; VIRGINITY
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Product or activity of man or animal |
Date learned: 11-01-1967
AUTOGRAPH BOOK VERSE
LOVE IS LIKE AN ONION
WE TASTE IT WITH DELIGHT
BUT AFTER WHILE WE WONDER
WHAT EVER MADE US BITE.
Submitter comment:
ENTRY DATED 11141930 IN ALBERTA LARABELL'S AUTOGRAPH BOOK IN DETROIT,
1930-33
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Keyword(s): FOOD ; OBSERVATION ; RHYME: ABCB ; RIDICULE OF LOVE ; SIMILE
James Callow Keyword(s): PESSIMISM
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse Humorous allusion to love |
Date learned: 11-14-1930
IF A VIRGIN PASSES THE CHIMES AT THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA,
THE BRICKS WILL FALL OUT.
Where learned: ALABAMA ; TUSCALOOSA
James Callow Keyword(s): PESSIMISM SEXISM
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- School |
Date learned: 00-00-1973
SUPERSTITION
MURPHY'S LAW: IF ANYTHING CAN GO WRONG, IT WILL GO WRONG.
Submitter comment: LEARNED WHILE WORKING AS AN ECONOMIST IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
Where learned: NEW YORK ; YONKERS ; WASHINGTON DC
James Callow Keyword(s): OBSERVATION ; PESSIMISM
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Apothegm Maxim |
Date learned: 12-26-1963
A FLEMISH SAYING AT HOME
THE MEANEST WEASELS GET THE EGGS.
Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; HOLDEN HALL
James Callow Keyword(s): ANIMAL ; OBSERVATION ; PESSIMISM: EVIL REWARDED
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: 09-00-1967