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James T. Callow Computerized Folklore Archive
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MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB.
THE DOCTOR WAS SURPRISED.
BUT WHEN OLD MACDONALD HAD A FARM,
HE COULDN'T BELIEVE HIS EYES,

Submitter comment: UNDETERMINED ORIGIN

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

Keyword(s): PARODY--NURSERY RHYME QUATRAIN BIRTH PUN

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse Lyrical Verse

Date learned: 11-30-1967

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TITLE NOT SUPPLIED BY COLLECTOR

A SMART GIRL CAN PLAY POST OFFICE ALL NIGHT WITHOUT
GETTING ANY MAIL IN HER BOX.

Where learned: BUFFALO ; NEW YORK

Keyword(s): HUMOR ; KISSING ; OBSERVATION ; PUN: MAIL FOR MALE ; SEX ; SLANG: BOX FOR VAGINA ; WORD PLAY

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
Filter - Mature Content

Date learned: 10-05-1971

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RIDDLE QUESTION

WHAT KIND OF FISH HAS A RIGHT KNEE AND A LEFT KNEE?
A TUNEE FISH.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; REDFORD

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN ON TUNA FISH

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 11-17-1979

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AH SWEET MYSTERY OF LIFE

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

IT SEEMS THAT WHEN THE CREATOR WAS MAKING THE WORLD, HE CALLED
MAN ASIDE AND BESTOWED UPON HIM 20 YEARS OF NORMAL SEX LIFE.
MAN WAS HORRIFIED} ONLY 20 YEARS OF NORMAL SEX LIFE? BUT THE
CREATOR WOULDN'T BUDGE. THAT WAS ALL HE WOULD GIVE HIM. THEN
HE CALLED THE MONKEY AND GAVE HIM 20 YEARS. BUT I DON'T NEED 20
YEARS, 10 IS ENOUGH, PROTESTED THE MONKEY. MAN SPOKE UP AND SAID,
CAN I HAVE HIS OTHER 10 YEARS? THE MONKEY GRACIOUSLY AGREED.
NEXT HE CALLED THE LION AND GAVE HIM 20 YEARS, BUT HE, TOO, NEEDED
ONLY 10 AND MAN AGAIN ASKED, CAN I HAVE THE OTHER 10? AND THE LION
ROARED, OF COURSE. ALONG CAME THE DONKEY AND HE WAS GIVEN 20 YEARS
BUT LIKE THE OTHERS, 10 WERE ENOUGH. SO MAN ASKED FOR THE SPARE 10
YEARS AND GOT THEM. ALL OF WHICH EXPLAINS WHY MAN HAS 20 YEARS
OF NORMAL SEX LIFE, 10 YEARS OF MONKEYING AROUND, 10 YEARS OF LION
ABOUT IT, AND 10 YEARS OF MAKING AN ASS OF HIMSELF.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; RECEIVED IN MAIL

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN: LION AND LYING ; SLANG FOR MAKING HIMSELF LOOK FOOLISH (AN ASS OF HIMSELF). ; SLANG: MONKEYING AROUND FOR DALLIANCE.

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Creation and Order of Human Life

Date learned: 00-00-1963

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POPE PAUL'S GOT RHYTHM.

Data entry tech comment: THIS VERSE COULD REFER TO A POPULAR SONG OR IT COULD
DEAL WITH THE METHOD OF BIRTH CONTROL UNDER THE LAWS OF THE CHURCH.

Where learned: DETROIT ; MICHIGAN, ASSUMED

Keyword(s): RELIGION PUN

James Callow Keyword(s): CATHOLICISM ; I'VE GOT RHYTHM

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Art Craft Architecture Art, Craft, Architecture

Date learned: 11-20-1968

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TOM SWIFTY

I ADMIT IT, I THREW MY WIFE RUTH OUT OF THE CAR WINDOW,
SAID TOM RUTHLESSLY.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): HUMOR ; PUN

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Wellerism Quotation

Date learned: 00-00-1966

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SWIFTIES

I ALWAYS GOT GOOD GRADES, SHE SAID BRIGHTLY.

Where learned: LOCATION NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

Keyword(s): HUMOR ; PUN

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Wellerism Quotation

Date learned: 10-00-1968 ; 10-00-1968

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BLIND MAN WELLERISM

"I SEE", SAID THE BLIND MAN AS HE PICKED UP HIS HAMMER AND SAW.

Submitter comment: I THINK THAT THIS WELLERISM IS PERHAPS THE MOST POPULAR. I HAVE
HEARD THIS SAID IN MANY DIFFERENT PLACES.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): CONTRADICTION ; PUN ; TOOLS

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale
PROVERB -- Wellerism Quotation

Date learned: DATE NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR.

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TOM SWIFTY

"I NEED ANOTHER DRINK," SAID TOM DRYLY.

Where learned: LOCATION NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Wellerism Quotation

Date learned: DATE NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

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POLISH JOKE

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

"WHY DO POLISH PEOPLE'S LAST NAME END IN SKI?"
"BECAUSE THEY CAN'T SPELL TOBAGGEN!"

Submitter comment:

THIS JOKE RELATES TO THE SUPERFICIAL STUPIDITY OF
THE POLISH RACE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Sterling Heights

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Poli

Date learned: CA00001974

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SWIFTIES, TOM

"I HAVE VERY FEW IN MY GARDEN." HE SAID LACKADAISICALLY.

Where learned: 3618 TENTH STREET NW ; WASHINGTON ; WASHINGTON DC

Keyword(s): LAZY DAISY

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Wellerism Quotation

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PROVERB

I LIKE HEMINGWAY VERY MUCH, SAID TOM EARNESTLY.

Where learned: 16800 SANTA ROSA

Keyword(s): SINCERITY

James Callow Keyword(s): LITERARY AUTHOR ; METONYMY: AUTHOR FOR HIS BOOKS ; PUN ON ERNEST HEMINGWAY

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Wellerism Quotation

Date learned: NOT RECORDED

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TOM SWIFTY

"I LOST MY CRUTCH," TOM SAID LAMELY.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; LIBRARY ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): CRIPPLE

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN ; WEAKLY INEFFECTUALLY UNSATISFACTORILY

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Wellerism Quotation

Date learned: NOT RECORDED

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TOM SWIFTIE

I'M A PLUMBER HE PIPED.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HIS HOME ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): JOB

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN ; SAID

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Wellerism Quotation

Date learned: 10-08-1968

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TOM SWIFTY

"I'M NOT FULL OF HOT AIR," HE BELLOWED.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN ON BELLOWS

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Wellerism Quotation

Date learned: 09-16-1969

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SWIFTIE

"I'M VERY FOND OF LAMB CHOPS," HE SAID SHEEPISHLY.

Where learned: 19785 BENTLER

Keyword(s): FOOD

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN MEEKLY EMBARRASSEDLY

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Wellerism Quotation

Date learned: 10-00-1968

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PRIESTLY ADVICE TO ME-- DON'T BECOME PART ITALIAN ON DATES-- ROMAN
HANDS.

Submitter comment: THIS WAS PRIESTLY ADVICE TO ME IN HIGH SCHOOL.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RIVERVIEW

James Callow Keyword(s): FUNCTION ; PUN: ROMAN AND ROAMIN' (ROAMING)

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 00-00-1974

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FABLE? (DIRECTOR'S TITLE)

A MAN TRIED TO GET A JAR OF PICKLES OPENED. HE TRIED
AND TRIED. FINALLY, HE SAW THAT IT WAS A JAR OF
JELLY AND WAS JAMMED.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BIRMINGHAM

Keyword(s): PUN

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 09-24-1965

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TERMITE

A TERMITE WENT INTO A BAR AND ASKED, "IS THE
BAR TENDER HERE?"

Where learned: HOME

James Callow Keyword(s): BARTENDER PUN

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Insect
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 11-15-1968

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BACK AT THE LAST TIME WHEN DETROIT WAS IN THE SERIES
IN THE 20'S, THEIR STAR PITCHER WAS MEL FAMEY.
HE HAD THE HABIT OF DRINKING TO EXCESS HOWEVER, AND
BECAUSE OF THIS NEARLY LOST THE FINAL GAME, HAVING
GIVEN UP THREE WALKS. BUT HE GETS THE LAST OUT.
AS THE RUNNERS COME IN ONE ASKS, "WHAT'S THAT
STICKING OUT OF HIS POCKET?" THE OTHER ANSWERS,
"THAT'S THE BEER THAT MADE MEL FAMEY WALK US."

Where learned: WASHINGTON DC

James Callow Keyword(s): BASEBALL GAME. ; MADE MILWAUKEE FAMOUS. ; PUN ON BRAND OF BEER: THEIR SLOGAN: THE BEER THAT

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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