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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

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BELIEF

IF YOU SIT ON THE TABLE, THE ANGELS WILL CRY.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): TEARS

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Angel

Date learned: 03-01-1970

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IF IT RAINED WHEN A PERSON DIED, IT MEANT THAT THE ANGELS WERE
CRYING FOR HIM AND HE WENT TO HEAVEN.

Submitter comment:

THIS WAS TOLD TO INFORMANT WHEN HE WAS 10 YEARS OLD, BY HIS
PARENTS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GROSSE POINTE FARMS

James Callow Keyword(s): TEARS

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Angel
BELIEF -- Cloud Fog Mist Rain Hail Ice Snow Frost Dew
BELIEF -- Death Funeral Burial

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THE INFORMANT REMEMBERED WRITING THE FOLLOWING REMARK ON THE INSIDE
COVER OF HER SCHOOLBOOKS:
"THIS BOOK IS NOT AN ORPHAN. PLEASE DO NOT ADOPT IT."

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): EDUCAAION ; STEALING

Subject headings: Z220

Date learned: 10-00-1975

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I'M CONCHITA BANANA
AND I'M HERE TO SAY
HOW TO GET RID OF YOUR TEACHER
THE EASY WAY
PUT A BANANA ON THE FLOOR
AND WATCH YOUR TEACHER
SLIDE OUT THE DOOR.

DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, THE STAIRS SHE GOES
WHERE SHE LANDS KNOW ONE KNOWS
AND WHILE SHE'S GONE, THE KIDS HAVE FUN
DRINKING WHISKEY, BEER, AND RUM.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ANTI-TEACHER ; PARODY OF A COMMERCIAL JINGLE

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children

Date learned: DATE NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR.

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SONG

FROM THE HALLS OF BLESSED SACRAMENT
TO THE SHORES OF BUBBLE GUM BAY.
WE WILL FIGHT OUR COUNTRY'S TEACHERS
WITH SPIT BALLS, GUM, AND CLAY.
FIRST TO FIGHT FOR LUNCH AND RECESS,
THEN TO KEEP OUR DESKS A MESS.
WE ARE PROUD TO CLAIM THE TITLES
OF THE PESTS FROM B.S.S.

Submitter comment: ( SUNG TO "FROM THE HALLS OF MONTEZUMA" )
MARY BETH IS A STUDENT AT BLESSED SACRAMENT SCHOOL IN GRAND
RAPIDS, MICHIGAN. SHE TOLD ME THAT HER FRIENDS AT OTHER SCHOOLS
ALSO KNOW AND SING THIS SONG SUBSTITUTING THE NAME OF THEIR SCHOOL.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GRAND RAPIDS

Keyword(s): ANTI-TEACHER ; SCHOOL SONG

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children

Date learned: 10-00-1971

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PARODY, SONG

MINE EYES HAVE SEEN THE GLORY OF THE BURNING OF THE SCHOOL.
WE HAVE HUNG ALL THE TEACHERS AND BROKEN ALL THE RULES.
NOW WE'RE MARCHING DOWN THE CORRIDOR TO GET THE PRINCIPAL.
THE SCHOOL IS BURNING DOWN.

GLORY, GLORY HALLELUIAH.
THE TEACHER HIT ME WITH THE RULER.
SO I SLAMMED HER ON THE BEAN WITH A ROTTEN TANGERINE,
AND THE WHOLE CLASS STARTED TO SCREAM.

Submitter comment: SUNG TO THE TUNE OF THE "BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC".

Where learned: DETROIT ; MICHIGAN, ASSUMED

Keyword(s): ANTI-SCHOOL SONG ; ANTI-TEACHER

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children

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PARODY OF "BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC"

GLORY GLORY HALLELUJAH
TEACHER HIT ME WITH A RULER
I MET HER AT THE DOOR
WITH MY TRUSTY FORTY-FOUR
AND THERE AIN'T NO TEACHER ANYMORE.

Where learned: BUFFALO ; NEW YORK

Keyword(s): ANTI-TEACHER ; EUPHEMISM

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children

Date learned: DATE NOT RECORED BY COLLECTOR.

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RIDDLE

WHAT HAS A CRANK UP FRONT AND A BUNCH OF LITTLE
NUTS IN THE BACK?
A CLASSROOM

Submitter comment: TOLD TO HER BY A FRIEND IN SCHOOL

Where learned: LETTER ; TOLD IN

Keyword(s): ANTI-TEACHER ; PUN

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 11-09-1967

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EXORCISING

MY STEPMOTHER, AN EX-SCHOOLMARM FROM A RURAL QUEBEC
VILLAGE, USED TO SPRINKLE HOLY WATER ON MY FATHER
TO EXORCISE HIM OF THE DEVIL IN HIM
WHWNEVER HR
WHEN EVER HE WOULD BECOME HEATEDLY ANGRY.

Where learned: NOT GIVEN

Keyword(s): TEACHER

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Magic of Speech, Sign, Color

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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CASPERILLA TEA IN THE SPRING WILL THIN THE BLOOD.

Data entry tech comment: BURDOCK ROOT TEA
SASSAFRAS TEA
OTHER REFERENCES IN ARCHIVE RECOMMEND THE USE OF

Where learned: NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

Keyword(s): PLANT CURE ; PREVENTATIVE MEDICINE ; SARSAPARILLA TEA

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Means of Causing or Avoiding Illness

Date learned: 09-00-1968

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TO REMOVE THE CALCIUM DEPOSIT IN A TEAKETTLE, BOIL ONE CUP OF
VINEGAR WITH A QUART OF WATER.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): TEA

Subject headings: Food Drink -- Manner of preparation Process

Date learned: 03-10-1971

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NEW YEAR'S CUSTOMS AND CELEBRATIONS

SEVERAL DAYS BEFORE THE NEW YEAR THE CHINESE WILL
PREPARE A PASTRY. THIS IS PREPARED BY THE METHOD OF
STEMMING. IF CHILDREN ASK IF THE PASTRY IS DONE
BEFORE IT IS FULLY COOKED, THE PEOPLE BELIEVE
THAT THE PASTRY WILL NEVER BE FULLY COOKED.

Submitter comment:

INFORMANT LEARNED THIS IN TAIWAN.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; 4001 W MCNICHOLS ; LANGUAGE DEPARTMENT

Keyword(s): FOOD CUSTOM ; SPEECH TABU ; STEAMING FOOD

Subject headings: CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- December 21 solstice to March 20
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Winter
Food Drink -- Pastry Sweet Dessert

Date learned: 02-02-1971

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TRUE RIDDLE

JUDGE: WHERE WERE YOU ON THE NIGHT OF FEBRUARY 30TH?
VICTIM: THERE IS NO FEBRUARY 30TH.
JUDGE: OH SO YOU STOLE THAT TOO.
LEARNED FROM OLDER BROTHER.

Data entry tech comment: CHAPTER 2 IN "WITCRACKS" BY ALVIN SCHWARTZ

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FERNDALE

Keyword(s): COURTROOM ; DIALOGUE ; HUMOR ; STEALING

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 11-21-1965

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COUNTING GAME

THE MOTHER WOULD LAY TOOTHPICKS ON THE TABLE. THE CHILD WOULD
WOULD HAVE TO COUNT THE TOOTHPICKS. THE MOTHER WOULD THEN
EITHER ADD OR SUBRACT TOOTHPICKS. THE CHILD WOULD THEN COUNT THEM
AGAIN. THIS WOULD BE DONE OVER AND OVER UNTIL THE CHILD KNEW HOW
TO COUNT ACCURATELY.

Where learned: WEST VIRGINIA ; MINDEN

James Callow Keyword(s): FUNCTION ; TEACHING

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- C531
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Special Object or Implement
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Street Trip Relations between relatives, friends, host and guest Social class Rank

Date learned: 00-00-1924

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GYPSIES WILL PICK UP ANY CHILDREN THEY SEE AND THEY WILL TAKE

ANYTHING THEY CAN PICK UP.

Submitter comment: INFORMANT TOLD OF HOW HER MOTHER USED TO MAKE ALL THE CHILDREN
COME INTO THE YARD OF THEIR FARM (SCRANTON, PENN. WHEN SHE
HEARD THE SOUND OF THE GYSPY WAGONS COMING. THEY USED TO PASS
BY THE FARM OFTEN AND INFORMANT'S MOTHER WAS AFRAID THEY
WOULD TAKE THE CHILDREN.

Where learned: TOLD AT INFORMANTS HOME

Keyword(s): STEALING

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- B439

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AUTOGRAPH BOOK MATERIAL

A SAILOR LOVES HIS C,
AN OLD MAID LOVES HER T,
A CHINAMAN LOVES HIS Q,
BUT I ONLY LOVE YOU.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): FUNCTION ; HUMOR ; QUATRAIN ; QUEUE ; RHYME: AABB ; SEA ; TEA

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse Humorous allusion to love

Date learned: 00-00-1928

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JACK HAGGERTY

MY NAME IS JACK HAGGERTY, FROM GREENVILLE I CAME.
MY VIRTUE'S DEPARTED, AT LAST I PROCLAIM.
THE STRONG DARTS OF CUPID HAVE CAUSED ME MUCH GRIEF.
MY HEART'S TORN ASUNDER, I GET NO RELIEF. MM MM
MY STORY I'LL TELL YOU WITHOUT NO DELAY,
HOW A SWEET LITTLE LASSIE, MY HEART STOLE AWAY.
SHE WAS THE BLACKSMITH'S OWN DAUGHTER, ON THE FLAT RIVER SIDE
AND I ALWAYS INTENDED TO MAKE HER MY BRIDE. MM MM
I WORKED ON THE RIVER, I EARNED QUITE A STEAK.
I WAS STEADFAST AND STEADY, I NE'ER PLAYED THE RAKE.
FROM TOP BAR TO HOUSE TOP, I WAS VERY WELL KNOWN.
THEY CALLED ME JACK HAGGERTY, THE PRIDE OF THE TOWN. MM MM
ONE DAY ON THE RIVER, A LETTER I RECEIVED.
IT CAME FROM MY TRUE LOVE, FROM ME SHE WAS RELIEVED.
SHE'D MARRIED AN OLD LOVE, SHE HAD LONG TIME DELAYED
AND THE NEXT TIME I'D SEE HER, SHE'D NOT BE A MAID. MM MM
TO HER MOTHER JANE TUCKER, I LAY ALL THE BLAME.
SHE CAUSED HER TO FORSAKE ME, GO BACK ON MY NAME.
SHE CAST OFF THE LOGGER, THAT GOD WOULD SOON TIE
AND LEFT ME A WANDERER TO THE DAY THAT I DIE. MM MM
SO ITS FAREWELL FLAT RIVER, FOR ME THERE'S NO REST.
I'LL SHOULDER MY PEEVE, AND I WILL GO WEST.
I'LL GO TO MUSKEGON, SOME COMFORT TO FIND
AND I'LL LEAVE THIS FLAT RIVER AND ITS GAY GIRLS BEHIND. MM MM
COME ALL YOU BOLD RAFTMEN, WITH HEARTS KIND AND TRUE.
DON'T DEPEND ON A WOMAN, YOU'LL GET LEFT IF YOU DO.
BUT IF YOU EVER MEET ONE WITH DARK CHESTNUT CURL,
JUST REMEMBER JACK HAGGERTY AND THE FLAT RIVER GIRL. MM MM
THE SONG JACK HAGGERTY WAS ABOUT A YOUNG MAN FROM OVER BY
THE GREENVILLE AND GRAND RAPIDS AREA. HIS GIRL, THAT HE
THOUGHT HE WAS TO MARRY, RAN OFF AND MARRIED ANOTHER. SO
THIS SONG WAS FORMED AS A WARNING TO THE OTHER RIVER BOYS
TO BEWARE OF WHAT THE GIRLS MIGHT DO TO THEM. AT THAT AGE
IN HISTORY, MANY EVENTS AND LORE WERE LEFT BEHIND IN THE
FORM OF SONGS OR POEMS.

Submitter comment: THIS IS A VERY POPULAR VERSION OF A VERY POPULAR LUMBER-
JACK BALLAD. THERE ARE ABOUT SIX OTHER VERSIONS OF THIS
SHANTY-BOY BALLAD. IT IS MOST COMMONLY KNOWN AS THE FLAT
RIVER GIRL."

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HOUGHTON LAKE

Keyword(s): LINE 91900 STAKE FOR STEAK ; LINE 94300 RAFTSMEN FOR RAFTMEN

James Callow Keyword(s): LUMBERJACK

Subject headings: Favorites
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- C230

Date learned: 00001930S

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WHY DID THE BLACK MAN WEAR A TUXEDO TO HIS VASECTOMY?
ANSWER. IF I'M GONNA BE IMPOTENT I MIGHT AS WELL LOOK
IMPOTENT.

Submitter comment: I GOT THIS JOKE FROM THE MOVIE "SOUL MAN." IT WAS TOLD
BY TWO WHITE GUYS IN FRONT OF A BLACK GUY TO MAKE HIM
FEEL BAD.

Where learned: HOME ; MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): IMPOTENT- USED INSTEAD OF THE WORD IMPORTANT TO MAKE ; THE BLACK MAN'S SPEECH SEEM BAD.

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- BLAC

Date learned: 10-00-1987

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Hawaiian Island Folklore

Find a lava rock. Take the rock and wrap it in a tea leaf and
set it down in front of the ocean. Make a wish. Your wish
will be granted in three days by the gods of the islands.

Submitter comment: This is one of the folktales that Albert brought back with
him when he came back to the U.S. after his second honeymoon.
My father is good friends with this man and he told us the
story over dinner at our house. His mood was wishful and
mysterious when he was describing this folktale.

Where learned: Item was learned in the state of Hawaii

Keyword(s): lava, tea, ocean.

Subject headings: 686 Thirds / Thrice / Three / Triple
BELIEF -- Mineral
BELIEF -- Plant
BELIEF -- Prayer

Date learned: 00-00-1989

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IF IT RAINED WHEN A PERSON DIED, IT MEANT THAT THE ANGELS WERE CRYING FOR HIM AND HE WENT TO HEAVEN.

Submitter comment:

THIS WAS TOLD TO THE INFORMANT WHEN HE WAS TEN YEARS OLD BY HIS PARENTS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GROSSE POINTE FARMS ; informant's home ; 138 Mapleton

Keyword(s): TEARS

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Angel
BELIEF -- Cloud Fog Mist Rain Hail Ice Snow Frost Dew
BELIEF -- Death Funeral Burial
BELIEF -- Weather sign or control P890.7
BELIEF -- Sign or prediction through Natural atmospheric phenomenon

Date learned: 10-03-1971

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