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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

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DEAD BABY JOKE

WHAT'S BLUE AND RED AND SITS IN A CORNER? A DEAD BABY EATING
RAZOR BLADES!

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROSEVILLE

James Callow Keyword(s): GORE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Ghost Spirit Phantom Specter
RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 12-00-1974

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DEAD BABY JOKE

WHAT'S EASIER TO UNLOAD, A TRUCK FULL OF BOWLING BALLS OR A TRUCK
FULL OF DEAD BABIES' HEADS? THE TRUCK FULL OF DEAD BABIES' HEADS
BECAUSE YOU CAN USE A PITCH-FORK!

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROSEVILLE

James Callow Keyword(s): GORE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 12-00-1974

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DEAD BABY JOKE

WHAT'S RED WHITE AND BLUE AND FLIES THROUGH THE AIR? A DEAD BABY ON
A MEATHOOK!

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROSEVILLE

James Callow Keyword(s): GORE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question
Filter - Mature Content

Date learned: 12-00-1974

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KNOCK, KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? JOKE

KNOCK, KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? BANANA. BANANA WHO? KNOCK, KNOCK. WHO'S
THERE? BANANA. BANANA WHO? KNOCK, KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? BANANA.
BANANA WHO? KNOCK, KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? BANANA. BANANA WHO? KNOCK,
KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? ORANGE. ORANGE WHO? ORANGE WHO GLAD I DID NOT
SAY BANANA?

James Callow Keyword(s): HUMOR

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: CA00001968

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RIDDLE QUESTION

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

AB C D GOLDFISH
BN NO GOLDFISH
O S A R AB
C M P N

Submitter comment:

THIS CAN BE TRANSLATED TO:
AB SEE THE GOLDFISH
BN, THERE IS NO GOLDFISH
OH YES THERE IS AB
SEE THEM PEEING

James Callow comment:

VARIATION: MNO GOLDFISH
CN[ HARTWIG, WILLIAM 720390
C1[ 260 ALAMEDA
C2[ YOUNGSTOWN, OHIO 44504
DNC[ 1,688
******************** C FILE 1 ********************

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; CAMPUS

James Callow Keyword(s): SCATALOGICAL URINATION

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 00001950S AND 00001960S

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RIDDLE QUESTION

Q: WHAT DOES A DUCK DO WHEN IT FLIES UPSIDE DOWN?
A: HE QUACKS UP

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; RESIDENCE HALLS

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 00001960S

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A MOTHER RECEIVED THIS TELEGRAM ABOUT HER SON. SHE HAD A LITTLE
DIFFICULTY UNDERSTANDING IT. CAN YOU?
BRUISES HURT
ERASED AFFORD
ERECTED
ANALYSIS SICK
INFECTIOUS DEAD.

Submitter comment: ALTHOUGH THIS ITEM IS REALLY MUCH THE SAME TYPE OF THING AS THE
PREVIOUS ITEM: IT IS MUCH EASIER TO CATCH ON TO BECAUSE WE ARE MORE
ACCUSTOMED TO READING WORDS. NATURALLY, ONCE ONE HAS BEEN TOLD WHAT
ONE OF THESE ITEMS MEANS IT IS MUCH SIMPLER TO FIGURE OUT WHAT ANY
SIMILAR ITEM WOULD MEAN ALSO.

Where learned: OHIO ; CINCINNATI

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 00001960S

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THE FOLLOWING CONVERSATION TOOK PLACE BETWEEN A CUSTOMER AND A
WAITRESS IN A JEWISH RESTAURANT.
FUNEM?
SVFM.
FUNEX?
SVFX.
OKMNX.
TRANSLATION:
HAVE YOU ANY HAM?
YES, WE HAVE HAM.
HAVE YOU ANY EGGS?
YES, WE HAVE EGGS.
OK, HAM AND EGGS.

Submitter comment: WHEN MY GREAT UNCLE TRIED THIS ON US NO ONE COULD GUESS IT JUST BY
LOOKING AT IT. HOWEVER, WHEN HE READ IT TO US USING EXPRESSION IT
WAS MUCH EASIER TO CATCH ON. THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH THIS "PUZZLE" IS
THAT IT IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO CATCH ON TO THE FIRST TIME YOU SEE
IT. THEN ONCE YOU ARE TOLD WHAT IT MEANS THE ELEMENT OF CURIOSITY IS
DESTROYED. ALMOST INVARIABLY PEOPLE WILL TRY TO READ EACH LINE
AS A WORD NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU TELL THEM TO PRONOUNCE EACH
LETTER SEPARATELY.

Where learned: OHIO ; CINCINNATI

James Callow Keyword(s): JEWISH PRONUNCIATION OF ENGLISH

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Group of Vowels and Consonants, and of Words
RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 00001960S

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BOUNDARY-LINE DISPUTE

IF A PLANE CRASHED ON THE BOUNDARY-LINE OF OHIO AND MICHIGAN, WHERE
WOULD YOU BURY THE SURVIVORS?
ANSWER: YOU DO NOT BURY SURVIVORS.

Submitter comment: SHE SAID THIS ONE CAREFULLY STRESSING THE WORDS BOUNDARY-LINE SO THAT
YOUR MIND WOULD STILL BE ON BURYING THE PEOPLE

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RIVERVIEW

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 01-00-1974

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ALARM-CLOCK

QUESTION: IF YOU SET YOUR ALARM-CLOCK FOR EIGHT O'CLOCK AND WENT TO
BED AT SEVEN O'CLOCK, HOW MANY HOURS SLEEP WOULD YOU GET? ANSWER:
ONE HOUR.

Submitter comment: THE INFORMANT WHEN GIVING THE RIDDLE TRIED TO SLIP PAST THE WORD
OR NUMBER SEVEN.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RIVERVIEW

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 01-00-1974

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MAKING HOLY WATER

QUESTION; HOW DO YOU MAKE HOLY WATER? ANSWER; YOU BOIL THE HELL
OUT OF IT.

Submitter comment: WITH THIS ITEM SHE STARTED LAUGHING BEFORE SHE EVEN SAID ONE WORD.
I NOTICED THAT AS SHE SETTLED DOWN TO SAY THE JOKE SHE TRIED TO
CARRY A STRAIGHT FACE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RIVERVIEW

James Callow Keyword(s): HUMOR

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 01-00-1974

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WOP JOKE

QUESTION; WHY CAN'T AN ITALIAN SURF? ANSWER; BECAUSE HE'S WOP-SIDED

Submitter comment:

SINCE I'M ITALIAN SHE ENJOYED TELLING THIS ONE VERY MUCH. HER EYES
GREW AND A BROAD SMILE COVERED HER FACE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RIVERVIEW

James Callow Keyword(s): SLANG DEROGATORY

Subject headings: ITAL
RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 01-00-1974

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SANTA KNOCK-KNOCK

KNOCK-KNOCK - WHO'S THERE? - SANTA - SANTA WHO? - I DON'T CARE WHO
YOU ARE, FAT MAN, BUT GET THOSE REINDEER OFF MY ROOF.

Submitter comment: THIS KNOCK-KNOCK JOKE IS HER CHILDREN'S FAVORITE, HOWEVER SHE DID NOT
CARE FOR IT THAT MUCH.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RIVERVIEW

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 01-00-1974

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AMOS KNOCK-KNOCK

KNOCK-KNOCK - WHO'S THERE? - AMOS - AMOS WHO? - A MOSQUITO BIT ME.
ANDY KNOCK-KNOCK KNOCK-KNOCK - WHO'S THERE? - ANDY - ANDY WHO? - AND HE BIT ME AGAIN.

Submitter comment: THIS KNOCK-KNOCK JOKE WAS FOLLOWED BY THE NEXT ITEM LISTED.
THIS NEXT ITEM WAS SAID BEFORE THE LAUGHTER OF THE FIRST DIED DOWN.
THIS IS THE SECOND HALF OF THE PREVIOUS ITEM. IT WAS SAID IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE FIRST PART.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RIVERVIEW

Subject headings: Favorites
RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 01-00-1974

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CRYING KNOCK-KNOCK

KNOCK-KNOCK - WHO'S THERE? - BOO - BOO WHO? - AW, DON'T CRY.

Submitter comment: AGAIN UPON HEARING THE CATEGORY KNOCK-KNOCK JOKES THE INFORMANT
RIFLED THEM OFF ONE AFTER ANOTHER, HARDLY GIVING ME A CHANCE TO GUESS
THE ANSWERS BEFORE GOING ON

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RIVERVIEW

James Callow Keyword(s): CATCH

Subject headings: Favorites
RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 01-00-1974

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RIDDLE

Q: WHAT EATS ANTS? A: UNCLES.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN AUNTS ANTS

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question
Filter - Mature Content

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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KNOCK-KNOCK JOKE

FIRST PERSON: I HAVE A NEW KNOCK-KNOCK JOKE, DO YOU WANT TO HEAR IT?
SECOND PERSON: YES.
FIRST PERSON: YOU START.
THE SECOND PERSON WILL ALMOST ALWAYS START AND WHEN YOU SAY WHO'S
THERE THEY WILL BECOME CONFUSED AND THEN REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE.

Where learned: PENNSYLVANIA ; SAINT CLAIR

James Callow Keyword(s): CATCH

Subject headings: CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion
RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 00-00-1969

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ELEPHANT JOKE

WHY DID THE ELEPHANT SIT ON THE MARSHMALLOW? BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT
TO FALL IN THE HOT CHOCOLATE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 11-00-1972

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DROODLE

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

TWO POLACKS WALKING ABREAST

Submitter comment:

AS WITH ALL DROODLES, THE PICTURE IS SHOWN TO A PERSON, AND HE
IS ASKED "WHAT IS THIS?" AFTER HE GIVES UP, HE IS TOLD.
THIS WAS CIRCULATING AT MY HIGH-SCHOOL, CENTRAL CATHOLIC IN
CANTON, OHIO, IN 1970-71. RECENTLY MY YOUNGER BROTHER, NOW A STUDENT
AT THE SAME SCHOOL, CAME HOME WITH THE SAME DROODLE. ONE WAY THINGS
SUCH AS THIS ARE SPREAD, I BELIEVE, IS THAT STUDENTS PUT THEM ON
THEIR TEXTBOOKS, AND WHEN THEY SELL THE TEXTBOOK THE FOLLOWING YEAR,
SOMEONE NEW PICKS IT UP AND PASSES IT ON.

Where learned: OHIO ; CANTON

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Poli
RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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QUESTION. HOW DO YOU PUT FOUR ELEPHANTS IN A VOLKSWAGON?
ANSWER. TWO IN THE FRONT AND TWO IN THE BACK.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN

James Callow Keyword(s): ANIMAL ; SIZE HUMOR

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 10-17-1972

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