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MORON JOKE
THERE WAS A LITTLE MORON AND A BIG MORON SITTING ON TOP
OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING. THE BIG MORON FELL OFF.
WHY DIDN'T THE LITTLE MORON?
BECAUSE HE WAS A LITTLE MORE ON.
Submitter comment:
I HEARD IT A LONG TIME AGO AND I DON'T REMEMBER WHERE.
I THINK THAT I HEARD IT IN GRADE SCHOOL.
Where learned: WASHINGTON DC
James Callow Keyword(s): PUN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
ELEPHANT JOKE
DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENT BETWEEN AN ELEPHANT AND A BANANA?
NO
THEN YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS GOING TO THE STORE TO SHOP.
Submitter comment: I DON'T KNOW WHERE I GOT IT.
Where learned: WASHINGTON DC, ASSUMED
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 11-24-1967
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POLISH JOKE
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
HOW DO YOU BREAK A POLLOC(K)'S FINGERS?
PUNCH HIM IN THE NOSE.
Submitter comment:
INFORMANT SAYS THAT SHE COLLECTED THE JOKE AT HER
HIGHSCHOOL IN WASHINGTON, D. C. IN EARLY SEPTEMBER,
1967.
Where learned: WASHINGTON DC
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 09-29-1967
HEARTBURN
ONE DAY A LADY, RATHER TIPSY, WALKED INTO A AR
DOWNTOWN, AND SHOUTED AT THE BARTENDER, "BARKEEP,
BARKEEP, GIVE ME A MARTUNII." WELL, THE BARTENDER IGNORED
HER AND IN A FEW MINUTES SHE YELLED AGAIN, "BARKEEP,
BARKEEP, GIVE ME A MARTUNII, I GOT HEARTBURN."
SHE WAITED A FEW MINUTES AND AS SHE WAS ABOUT TO YELL
AGAIN, HE BROUGHT HER A DRINK. HE SAID, "STOP. IN THE
FIRST PLACE, I'M A BARTENDER, NOT A BARKEEP, SECOND,
IT'S CALLED A MARTINI NOT A MARTUNII AND IN THE
THIRD PLACE, YOU AIN'T GOT HEARTBURN, YOUR LEFT TIT
IS HANGING IN THE ASHTRAY."
Submitter comment:
THE INFORMANT CLAIMS THAT HE HEARD THIS JOKE ABOUT FOUR
YEARS AGO AND THEN AGAIN JUST RECENTLY. IN THE MOST
RECENT INCIDENT, HE SAYS THAT SOME OF THE DETAILS
HAVE CHANGED, SUCH AS THE TYPE OF DRINK ORDERED, FIRST
IT WAS SCOTCH WHICH WAS MISPRONOUNCED BY THE WOMAN
AS SKITCH. HE HEARD THE JOKE IN HIS SCHOOL FROM ONE
OF HIS CLASSMATES, BUT DOES NOT REMEMBER WHO IT WAS.
Where learned: WASHINGTON DC
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Woman |
Date learned: 11-03-1967
I BROUGHT HOME MY REPORT CARD ONE DAY AND SHOWED IT TO
MY OLD MAN. AS HE LOOKED IT OVER HIS FACE CONTORTED
A LITTLE AND THEN HE SIGHED IN WHAT APPEARED TO BE
RESIGNATION AND SAID, "ONE THING IS IN YOUR FAVOR. WITH
GRADES LIKE THESE, YOU SURE AS HELL AREN'T CHEATING."
Submitter comment:
INFORMANT SAYS THAT IT IS A TRUE STORY, HAPPENED TO HIM
ABOUT A YEAR AGO, AND HE BELIEVES THAT HIS FATHER HEARD
IT FROM HIS FATHER UNDER MUCH THE SAME CIRCUMSTANCES.
Where learned: WASHINGTON DC
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man |
Date learned: 09-12-1967
COMMITTMENT
A PIG AND A CHICKEN WERE WALKING DOWN A COUNTRY ROAD
DISCUSSING CHURCH SUPPORT. THEY CAME UPON A ROAD
SIGN WHICH READ, "RESTAURANT--SPECIAL FOR
BREAKFAST--HAM AND EGGS."
WELL, THE CHICKEN SAID, "SUPPOSE WE GO IN FOR
BREAKFAST AND CONTINUE OUR DISCUSSION."
"NO," SHOUTED THE PIG, "NOT ON YOUR LIFE. FOR
YOU IT WOULD BE JUST A CONTRIBUTION. FOR ME--
TOTAL COMMITMENT."
Submitter comment:
ED SAID THAT HE HEARD IT FROM A CLASSMATE AT
GEORGETOWN PREPATORY HIGH SCHOOL, NEAR WASHINGTON,
D. C. DURING THE MONTH OF AUGUST.
Where learned: WASHINGTON DC
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale |
Date learned: 09-12-1967
TAUNT-SARCASTIC
COMMENT MADE TO A PERSON WHO HAS JUST SPILLED OUT HIS
TROUBLES TO A FRIEND: "OTHER THAN THAT, MRS. LINCOLN,
HOW WAS THE PLAY?
Where learned: WASHINGTON DC
| Subject headings: | SPEECH -- Formula |
Date learned: 03-02-1970
SAME OL' EXPRESSION
"THAT'S A BUNCH OF SAME OL'-SAME OL'."
Submitter comment:
THIS EXPRESSION MEANS THAT SOMETHING HAS BEEN HEARD BEFORE.
FOR EXAMPLE, A WOMAN WHO THINKS SHE KNOWS THE LATEST
GOSSIP MIGHT SIMPLY KNOW A STORY THAT'S ALREADY BEEN
CIRCULATED.
Where learned: WASHINGTON DC
| Subject headings: | SPEECH -- Formula |
Date learned: 03-02-1970
Belief: Weather
Weather Proverb:
Rain before seven / Ends by eleven
Submitter comment:
Learned from his sister
Data entry tech comment:
Motifs added by TRD
James Callow comment:
Dup. of WPP
Where learned: OHIO ; Gundlach, Gary ; WASHINGTON ; WASHINGTON COURT HOUSE
Keyword(s): NATURE ; PREDICTING WEATHER ; PREDICTION ; Rain ; RHYME ; Sky ; TIME ; WEATHER
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Proverb Proverb |
RED SKY AT NIGHT, SAILORS DELIGHT.
RDED SKY AT DAWN, SAILORS FOREWARN.
Submitter comment: LEARNED FROM SAILING INSTRUCTOR IN GRUADE SCHOOL.
Where learned: OHIO ; WASHINGTON ; WASHINGTON COURT HOUSE
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Proverb Proverb |
GOOD DEEDS
"GOOD DEEDS SPEAK OF THEMSELVES. THE TONGUE ONLY INTERRUPTS THEIR
ELOQUENCE."
Submitter comment: SEMINARY PROVERB.
Where learned: SAINT JOSAPHAT SEMINARY ; WASHINGTON DC
Keyword(s): BRAGGING
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: 00-00-1962
RIDDLE
WHAT IS RED AND WHITE ON THE OUTSIDE AND GRAY
ON THE INSIDE? ANSWER: CAMPBELL'S CREAM OF
ELEPHANT SOUP.
Data entry tech comment: THE CAMPBELL SOUP LABEL IS RED AND WHITE.
Where learned: OHIO ; WASHINGTON
| Subject headings: | RIDDLE -- Riddle Question |
Date learned: 10-07-1967
Stories have been surfacing for years about ghosts wandering
the White House and sighted by various people. Mary Lincoln
saw Andrew Jackson, Harry Truman saw Lincoln (Truman said
that Theodore Roosevelt talked to Lincoln all the time but
he thought being a Republican helped.) Dozens of sightings
by people have occurred
Submitter comment: I have heard this several times about the White House.
Where learned: WASHINGTON DC
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Product or activity of man or animal |
Date learned: 00001980S
THE ANNEY OAKLEY
THE SILVER DOLLAR IS CALLED AN "ANNEY OAKLEY" BECAUSE SHE WAS
ABLE TO SHOOT THEM OUT OF THE AIR AFTER SOMEONE TOSSED IT UP.
Submitter comment: LEARNED FROM HIS FATHER.
Where learned: OHIO ; WASHINGTON COURT HOUSE
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Explanation of a name BELIEF -- Measure of quality Medium of exchange |
Date learned: 12-04-1967
PROVERB
YOU CANNOT REPENT TOO SOON, BECAUSE YOU DO NOT KNOW
HOW SOON IT MAY BE TOO LATE.
Where learned: SAINT JOSAPHAT SEMINARY ; 17 ; WASHINGTON DC
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Apothegm Maxim |
Date learned: 00-00-1962
THE SAPPHIRE IS A SYMBOL OF TRUTH AND SINCERITY
AND COULD PROTECT THE WEARER FROM POISONING.
Submitter comment: LEARNED WHILE IN THE SERVICE IN INDIA.
Where learned: OHIO ; INDIA ; WASHINGTON ; WASHINGTON COURT HOUSE
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Mineral BELIEF -- Mineral |
Date learned: 12-05-1967
A RUBY IS BELIEVED TO PROTECT THE WEARER FROM BAD
HEALTH, EVIL THOUGHT, AND LOSS OF WEALTH.
Submitter comment: LEARNED FROM HER MOTHER.
Where learned: OHIO ; WASHINGTON ; WASHINGTON COURT HOUSE
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Mineral BELIEF -- Measure of quality Monetary systemMoneyWealth BELIEF -- Mineral |
Date learned: 12-05-1967
IT WAS BELIEVED THAT THE MOONSTONE CONTAINED THE
RAYS OF THE MOON, WHICH COULD RID THE WEARER
OF FEARS AND NIGHTMARES.
Submitter comment: LEARNED IN THE SERVICE WHILE STATIONED IN INDIA.
Where learned: OHIO ; INDIA ; WASHINGTON ; WASHINGTON COURT HOUSE
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Physically handicapped Deformed BELIEF -- Moon BELIEF -- Mineral BELIEF -- Mineral |
Date learned: 12-05-1967
OVERWEIGHT TEST
TWICE AROUND THE WRIST EQUALS ONCE AROUND THE LOWER
PART OF THE NECK. TWICE AROUND THE NECK AT ITS LOWEST
PART EQUALS ONCE AROUND THE WAIST.
Submitter comment: LEARNED IT FROM HER MOTHER.
Where learned: OHIO ; WASHINGTON ; WASHINGTON COURT HOUSE
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Measure of quantity or weight Solid |
Date learned: 12-05-1967
SHOE SHINE
PEDAL EXTREMITIES ARTISTICALLY BEAUTIFIED AND
RENOVATED FOR THE INFINITESIMALLY SMALL REMUNERATION
OF 10CENTS PER OPERATION--A SHOE SHINE FOR A DIME.
Submitter comment: LEARNED FROM FRIENDS AT SCHOOL
Where learned: OHIO ; WASHINGTON ; WASHINGTON COURT HOUSE
| Subject headings: | SPEECH -- Formula |
Date learned: 12-05-1967