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POLISH JOKE
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
THIS POLACK GOES TO A LUMBERYARD AND SAYS, "I WANT TO
BUY SOME WOOD."
"HOW LONG DO YOU WANT IT?" THEN ASKS THE OWNER.
"FOR A LONG TIME," REPLIES THE POLACK, "I'M BUILDING
A GARAGE."
Submitter comment:
THE INFORMANT HEARD IT FROM A FRIEND.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY ; Lansing
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 00001967 FALL
WHEN PLAYING CARDS, NEVER ALLOW A PERSON TO STAND
OVER YOU AND LOOK AT YOUR CARDS, YOU WILL NEVER
WIN.
Submitter comment: FROM FRIENDS.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY ; Lansing
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Special Object or Implement BELIEF -- Fate Destiny Luck Chance |
Date learned: 10-21-1967
CATS AND DEATH
IN ROCKWOOD, WHEN I WAS A LITTLE BOY, THE LAUDS (LANDS?)
FAMILY USED TO BE OUR NEIGHBORS. WELL, MR. LANDS DIED.
YOU KNOW BACK THEN THEY ALWAYS KEPT THE BODY IN THE
HOUSE FOR ABOUT A WEEK. WELL, THEY KEPT MR. LANDS'
BODY SO LONG, IT STARTED TURNING BLACK. WELL, THE LANDS
HAD A WHOLE BUNCH OF CATS. YOU KNOW THEY SAY CATS TRY
TO GET ON A DEAD BODY AND SCRATCH IT. THOSE CATS GOT
INTO THAT CASKET ONE NIGHT AND THEY CAUGHT THEM JUST
IN TIME. THOSE CATS WOULD GET UP ON THE SCREEN WINDOW
RIGHT NEXT TO THE BODY AND TRY TO GET IN.
James Callow comment: APOSTROPHE ADDED
Where learned: TENNESSEE ; KINGSTON
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Mammal |
Date learned: 07-27-1968
I USED TO TRUST PEOPLE. BUT I LEARNED THE HARD WAY.
ONCE THESE COLOREDS CAME IN AND THEY WERE GETTING
MARRIED THAT NIGHT. THE GIRL PICKED OUT HER COAT
BUT THEY WAS SHORT TEN DOLLARS. SO I GAVE THEM THAT
TEN DOLLARS OUT OF MY OWN POCKET. THE BANK WAS CLOSED
BUT THEY SAID THEY'D BE BACK ON THE WAY TO THE JUDGE.
THEY NEVER CAME BACK AND I JUST DON'T TRUST 'EM
ANYMORE.
Submitter comment:
I HEARD THE SAME STORY FROM ANOTHER LADY WHO SOLD COATS
AT ALBERTS ONLY SHE WAS THE LENDER.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; DETROIT AREA ; ALBERTS RETAIL STORE ; MANY LOCATIONS
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Human Being |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
I USED TO TRUST PEOPLE. BUT I LEARNED THE HARD WAY.
ONCE THESE COLOREDS CAME IN AND THEY WERE GETTING
MARRIED THAT NIGHT. THE GIRL PICKED OUT HER COAT
BUT THEY WAS SHORT TEN DOLLARS. SO I GAVE THEM THAT
TEN DOLLARS OUT OF MY OWN POCKET. THE BANK WAS CLOSED
BUT THEY SAID THEY'D BE BACK ON THE WAY TO THE JUDGE.
THEY NEVER CAME BACK AND I JUST DON'T TRUST 'EM
ANYMORE.
Submitter comment:
I HEARD THE SAME STORY FROM ANOTHER LADY WHO SOLD COATS
AT ALBERTS ONLY SHE WAS THE LENDER.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; DETROIT AREA ; ALBERTS RETAIL STORE ; MANY LOCATIONS
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Human Being |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
VOCABULARY OF A SPECIAL GROUP
JESUIT REFER TO PARTIES OR SOCIAL GATHERINGS GIVEN BY OTHE JESUIT AS
A T.A.R.B.O. i.e. A Typical Affair Run By Ours.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; CLARKSTON
| Subject headings: | SPEECH -- Vocabulary of Special Group |
Date learned: 00-00-1967
VOCABULARY OF A SPECIAL GROUP
IN THE JESUIT ORDER, IT IS A CUSTOM FOR JESUITS TO REFER TO EACH
OTHER AS "OURS." A BOOK WHICH IS FOR THE USE OF JESUITS ONLY WILL
HAVE A STAMP WITH "FOR OURS ONLY."
Submitter comment: OR IN CONVERSATION: FR. MALCOLM CARRON, S.J. IS "ONE OF OURS."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; CLARKSTON
| Subject headings: | SPEECH -- Vocabulary of Special Group |
Date learned: 00-00-1967
JUMP-ROPE RHYME
TEDDY BEAR, TEDDY BEAR, TOUCH THE GROUND.
TEDDY BEAR, TEDDY BEAR, TURN AROUND.
TEDDY BEAR, TEDDY BEAR, COMB YOUR HAIR.
TEDDY BEAR, TEDDY BEAR, SIT ON A CHAIR.
TEDDY BEAR, TEDDY BEAR, TURN OUT THE LIGHT.
TEDDY BEAR, TEDDY BEAR, SAY GOOD NIGHT.
THIS RHYME IS SUNG WHILE JUMPING ROPE. THERE
MUST BE TWO PLAYERS AT EITHER END SWINGING
THE ROPE. ANOTHER PLAYER ENTERS THE ROPE AND
MIMICS THE ACTIONS THAT ARE SUNG IN THE RHYME.
IF THAT PLAYER MISSES SHE MUST TAKE AN END OF
THE ROPE AND BE A SWINGER. IF SHE DOESN'T MISS
SHE EXITS THE ROPE ON THE LAST VERSE AND WAITS
FOR HER TURN IN LINE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROCHESTER HILLS
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Game Verse Game Verse |
Date learned: 00-00-1942
HIDE AND SEEK
SOMEONE IS CHOSEN AS "IT." ALL OF THE OTHER
PLAYERS HIDE WHILE "IT" SAYS, "LAST NIGHT,
THE NIGHT BEFORE, TWENTY-FIVE ROBBERS AT MY
DOOR. I GOT UP, LET THEM IN, HIT THEM OVER
THE HEAD WITH A ROLLING PIN." THE "IT" COUNTS
TO TWENTY-FIVE AND YELLS, "HERE I COME, READY OR
NOT." PRIOR TO HIDING, THE PLAYERS AGREE ON A
DESIGNATED SAFE BASE WHICH THEY MUST TOUCH
BEFORE "IT" TAGS THEM. IF "IT" TAGS SOMEONE
BEFORE THEY TOUCH BASE, THEY BECOME "IT."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROCHESTER HILLS
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Hiding Searching |
Date learned: 00-00-1941
RED ROVER
THERE ARE TWO LINES OF PEOPLE WITH BETWEEN SIX AND TEN
PEOPLE ON EACH LINE (TEAM). ONE TEAM AGREES ON A PERSON
TO RUN OVER FROM THE OTHER TEAM AND TRY TO BREAK THROUGH
THEIR LINE. IF THAT PERSON SUCCEEDS HE GETS TO PICK
FROM THAT LINE AND TAKE HIM BACK TO BE ON HIS TEAM.
IF HE DOESN'T BREAK THROUGH HE HAS TO STAY WITH THAT
TEAM. THE TEAM WITH THE MOST PLAYERS AT THE END OF
THE GAME WINS. THE GAME ENDS EITHER WHEN THEY ARE
OUT OF TIME OR WHEN THEY GET TIRED OF PLAYING.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROCHESTER HILLS
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Racing Chasing Fighting |
Date learned: 00-00-1983
KICK THE CAN
YOU PUT A CAN IN A DESIGNATED SPOT AGREED UPON BY ALL OF
THE PLAYERS. ONE PERSON IS CHOSEN TO BE "IT". ALL OF
THE OTHER PLAYERS HIDE. THE OBJECT IS FOR SOMEONE TO
KICK THE CAN BEFORE ANYONE IS FOUND. IF SOMEONE IS FOUND
BEFORE THE CAN IS KICKED THAT PERSON BECOMES "IT."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROCHESTER HILLS
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Special Object or Implement |
PETE AND REPEAT WERE SITTING ON A FENCE. PETE FELL OFF,
WHO WAS LEFT?
Data entry tech comment:
Updated by TRD
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROCHESTER HILLS
Keyword(s): CHAIN TALE ; Circle ; Endless ; Formula Tale ; JOKE ; Repeat ; RHYME
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale |
Date learned: 00-00-1980
RIDDLE
A MAN IS FOUND DEAD IN A CABIN ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN,
HOW DID HE DIE?
ANSWER: HE WAS IN THE CABIN OF AN AIRPLANE THAT CRASHED
ATOP THE MOUNTAIN.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROCHESTER HILLS
| Subject headings: | RIDDLE -- True Riddle |
Date learned: 00-00-1983
JOY TO THE WORLD THE SCHOOL BLEW UP,
AND ALL THE KIDS ARE FREE.
THEY FOUND THE PRINCIPLE DEAD,
WITH A PENCIL IN HIS HEAD.
LET HEAVEN AND NATURE SING, LET HEAVEN AND NATURE SING,
LET HEAVEN AND NATURE SING.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROCHESTER HILLS
Keyword(s): PARODY
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Religious |
Date learned: 00-00-1982
GLORY, GLORY HALLELUJIAH HIT THE TEACHER WITH A RULER
HID BEHIND THE DOOR WITH A LOADED FORTY-FOUR
AND THE TEACHER DIDN'T TEACH NO MORE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROCHESTER HILLS
Keyword(s): PARODY
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery |
Date learned: 00-00-1984
MISS SUZY
MISS SUZY HAD A BABY, SHE NAMED HIM TINY TIM.
SHE PUT HIM IN THE BATHTUB TO SEE IF HE COULD SWIM.
HE DRANK UP ALL THE WATER, HE ATE UP ALL THE SOAP.
HE TRIED TO EAT THE BATHTUB
BUT IT WOULDN'T GO DOWN HIS THROAT.
MISS SUZY CALLED THE DOCTOR, THE DOCTOR CALLED THE NURSE,
THE NURSE CALLED THE LADY WITH THE ALLIGATOR PURSE.
IN COMES THE DOCTOR, IN COMES THE NURSE,
IN COMES THE LADY WITH THE ALLIGATOR PURSE.
OUT GOES THE DOCTOR, OUT GOES THE NURSE,
IN STAYS THE LADY WITH THE ALLIGATOR PURSE.
HE DIDN'T LIKE THE DOCTOR, HE HATED THE NURSE,
BUT HE LOVED THE LADY WITH THE ALLIGATOR PURSE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROCHESTER HILLS
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Narrative Verse |
Date learned: 00-00-1983
ONE BRIGHT DAY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT,
TWO DEAD BOYS GOT UP TO FIGHT,
DREW THEIR SWORDS AND SHOT EACH OTHER,
DREW THEIR GUNS AND FOUGHT EACH OTHER.
A DEAF POLICEMAN HEARD THE NOISE
AND CAME AND SHOT THE TWO DEAD BOYS.
IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE THIS LIE IS TRUE
ASK THE BLIND MAN; HE SAW IT TOO.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROCHESTER HILLS
Keyword(s): CONTRADICTIONS
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Narrative Verse Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Prose Narrative Prose Narrative |
Date learned: 00-00-1984
I WAS TOLD BY AN ACQUAINTANCE THAT THE INITIALS O.K. CAME
FROM A SARGEANT DURING THE SECOND WORLD WAR WHO APPROVED
GOVERNMENT ISSUE ITEMS. HIS INITIALS WERE O.K. IF THE
ITEM WAS APPROVED HE WOULD STAMP HIS INITIALS ON IT.
HENCE, WE GET OUR SAYING "IS IT O.K.?"
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROCHESTER HILLS
| Subject headings: | SPEECH -- S266 |
Date learned: 00-00-1981
HOOK STORY
A COUPLE WERE PARKED AND HEARD ON THE RADIO ABOUT AN ESCAPEE FROM
THE INSANE ASYLUM WITH A HOOK HAND. THE GIRL WAS WORRIED ABOUT HER
PARENTS AND SHE DIDN'T (KNOW?) WHERE THEY WERE. SO THEY FINALLY LEFT
ON HER THIRD REQUEST. HER DATE WAS MAD AND TOOK OFF FAST. AND SHE
FOUND THE HOOK ON HER DOOR WHEN THEY GOT HOME.
Submitter comment: HEARD THIS STORY WHEN HE WAS YOUNG. S
Data entry tech comment: THERE ARE THREE MORE HOOK STORIES.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROCHESTER HILLS
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Physically handicapped Deformed |
Date learned: 05-10-1965
NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP,
I PRAY THE LORD MY SOUL TO KEEP.
WHEN IN THE MORNING LIGHT I WAKE,
HELP ME A PATH OF LOVE TO TAKE.
Submitter comment:
INFORMANT SAID THIS PRAYER WHEN SHE WAS A LITTLE GIRL,
IN MARYLAND. SHE IS 22 YEARS OLD IN 1970.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROCHESTER HILLS
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Belief Belief |
Date learned: 00001958 CA.