COOKIE FACTORY

PHONE RINGS; HELLO, FRENDO'S COOKIE FACTORY, WHICH CRUMB DO YOU WANT?

Submitter comment: RIGHT AS SHE FINISHED THIS ITEM, SHE IMMEDIATELY CONTINUED WITH THE
NEXT ONE, BARELY STOPPING FOR BREATH.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RIVERVIEW

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN SLANG

Date learned: 01-00-1974

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SMALL CHANGE FOR GOOD LUCK.

AN OLD MALTESE CUSTOM SAYS, PUT SMALL CHANGE ON THE WINDOW SILL
BEFORE THE NEW YEAR COMES. LEAVE IT THERE UNTIL AFTER THE NEW YEAR
SO THAT YOU'LL HAVE FINANCIAL GOOD LUCK THAT YEAR.

Submitter comment: EVEN THOUGH THE INFORMANT DIDN'T BELIEVE THE WART
CURE {PREVIOUS ENTRY}, SHE SEEMED TO
BELIEVE THIS ONE, JUST BY THE WAY SHE SAID IT.
SHE GOT THIS ITEM FROM HER MALTESE HUSBAND.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RIVERVIEW

James Callow Keyword(s): BELIEF

Date learned: 01-00-1974

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WART CURE

IF YOU HAVE A WART, STEAL SOMEONE'S DISHRAG AND TAKE IT AND BURY IT.
THE WART WILL DISAPPEAR WITHIN THREE WEEKS.

Submitter comment: THE INFORMANT OFFERED THIS ONE, ALTHOUGH IT APPEARED SHE DID NOT
BELIEVE IT, SAYING SHE HAD HEARD IT FROM A FRIEND.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RIVERVIEW

James Callow Keyword(s): DISBELIEF

Date learned: 01-00-1974

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TELEPHONE PRANK

CALL A NUMBER FOUR OR FIVE TIMES, AND EACH TIME ASK FOR HARRY.
THEN CALL AND SAY, THIS IS HARRY, ARE THERE ANY MESSAGES?

Submitter comment: AS THE INFORMANT OFFERED THIS ONE, I COULD SEE THAT SHE TOLD IT
RELUCTANTLY, AS IF SHE HAD FEAR OF IT HAPPENING TO HER.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RIVERVIEW

James Callow Keyword(s): TELEPHONE PRANK

Date learned: 01-00-1974

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INDIAN TWISTER

HEAP SMART FELLOW, HEAP FELLOW SMART.

Submitter comment: SHE SEEMED TO GLOW WHEN GIVING THIS ONE, SURE THAT I COULDN'T SAY
IT WITHOUT TRIPPING UP.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RIVERVIEW

James Callow Keyword(s): CHIASMUS

Date learned: 01-00-1974

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THE EGG

PUT AN EGG IN YOUR SHOE AND BEAT IT.

Submitter comment: MRS. FRENDO JUST SNICKERED AS SHE FINISHED THIS ONE, EXPECTING A
GROAN BEFORE MOVING ON TO THE NEXT ONE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RIVERVIEW

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN SLANG: BEAT IT FOR GO AWAY

Date learned: 01-00-1974

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CRYING KNOCK-KNOCK

KNOCK-KNOCK - WHO'S THERE? - BOO - BOO WHO? - AW, DON'T CRY.

Submitter comment: AGAIN UPON HEARING THE CATEGORY KNOCK-KNOCK JOKES THE INFORMANT
RIFLED THEM OFF ONE AFTER ANOTHER, HARDLY GIVING ME A CHANCE TO GUESS
THE ANSWERS BEFORE GOING ON

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RIVERVIEW

James Callow Keyword(s): CATCH

Date learned: 01-00-1974

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THE ICE CUBE STORY

THERE WAS THIS GUY BY THE NAME OF SAM, AND SAM HAD A JOB DELIVERING
ICE CUBES. SAM HAD BEEN DOING THIS JOB FOR 20 YEARS OR SO AND WAS
PRETTY HAPPY WITH IT. ONE DAY THE ICE CUBE COMPANY GOT AN ORDER FROM
THE HOTEL IN TOWN FOR 1000 ICE CUBES AND SAM WENT OUT TO THE ICE
HOUSE AND COUNTED OUT THE CUBES AND LOADED THEM ON HIS TRUCK. THEN
HE STARTED OUT FOR THE HOTEL. ON THE WAY THERE A BUS RAN INTO HIS
TRUCK AND SCATTERED THE ICE CUBES ALL OVER THE STREET. POOR SAM
GOT OUT AND PICKED UP ALL THE CUBES AND COUNTED THEM. HE WAS
RELIEVED TO FIND THAT ALL 1000 CUBES WERE THERE, AND SINCE THE
TRUCK WAS STILL DRIVABLE, HE GOT BACK IN AND CONTINUED ON HIS WAY
TO THE HOTEL. WELL, JUST AS HE WAS ABOUT THERE, IN FACT, WITHIN
A BLOCK OF THE PLACE ANOTHER DELIVERY TRUCK HIT HIM. WELL, SAM GOT
OUT AND AGAIN BEGAN TO COUNT THE CUBES. THIS TIME WHEN HE FINISHED
THERE WERE ONLY 999. SAM THOUGHT TO HIMSELF, IT'S BEEN A TOUGH DAY.
I COULD EASILY HAVE MISCOUNTED. BESIDES, WHO'S GOING TO MISS ONE
ICE CUBE IN A THOUSAND. SO HE DELIVERED THE CUBES AND WENT HOME
AND THOUGHT NO MORE ABOUT IT. THE NEXT MORNING, EARLY, HE GOT A
PHONE CALL FROM HIS BOSS AT THE CUBE COMPANY, AND HE SAID, SAM,
THERE'S SOMETHING WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT, CAN YOU COME DOWN RIGHT
AWAY. SAM SAID, SURE, I'LL BE RIGHT OVER, AND HE DROVE DOWN TO THE
COMPANY NOT PARTICULARLY WORRIED SINCE AS I'VE SAID HE WORKED
THERE FOR 20 YEARS. WELL, HE WALKED IN TO THE BOSS'S OFFICE AND THE
BOSS SAID, SAM, YESTERDAY YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DELIVER A THOUSAND
ICE CUBES
TO THE HOTEL AND YOU ONLY DELIVERED 999. I'M SORRY, YOU'RE FIRED.
THIS ONE IS TOLD FIRST AND THEN THE OTHER WITH ONE OR TWO OTHERS TOLD
IN BETWEEN. THE ICE CUBE IS THEN FOUND IN THE DOG'S MOUTH.

{HERE IS STORY NO. 701604-17.}
THE NEWLY WED COUPLE
A MAN AND A WOMAN HAD BEEN MARRIED FOR A WHILE, AND THEY
WERE JUST ABOUT TO THE POINT WHERE THE HONEYMOON WAS OVER. IN THE
COURSE OF THEIR MARRIAGE THE HUSBAND HAD PICKED UP ONE HABIT THAT
REALLY ANNOYED THE WIFE AND THE WIFE HAD ONE THING THAT THE HUSBAND
COULD NOT STAND. THE HUSBAND'S WAS THAT HE WOULD SMOKE THESE BIG
BLACK CIGARS AND THE WIFE'S WAS AN UGLY POODLE THAT SHE HAD MANICURED
AND CUT AND SO FORTH . ONE TIME THEY WENT ON A VACATION TOGETHER AND
SINCE IT WAS COLD OUT THEY HAD TO KEEP THE WINDOWS ROLLED UP. THE
HUSBAND WAS SMOKING AWAY AND THE WIFE SAID, IF YOU DON'T PUT OUT THAT
CIGAR I'M GOING TO TAKE IT AND THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW. THE HUSBAND
SAID, IF YOU DO THAT I'LL TAKE THAT DOG OUT OF THE BACK SEAT AND
THROW HIM OUT THE WINDOW. WELL, THEY DROVE ON IN SILENCE FOR ABOUT
30 MILES UNTIL THE WIFE COULDN'T TAKE IT ANY LONGER, AND SHE REACHED
OVER, GRABBED THE CIGAR, AND THREW IT OUT THE WINDOW. THE HUSBAND
THEN REACHED BACK AND GRABBED THE DOG OUT OF THE BACK SEAT AND THREW
IT OUT THE WINDOW. THEY DROVE ON AND COMPLETED THEIR VACATION IN
SILENCE. ABOUT TWO MONTHS LATER THEY WERE SITTING AT HOME , STILL
NOT TALKING TO EACH OTHER, WHEN THEY HEARD A SCRATCHING AT THE DOOR.
THEY WENT TO THE DOOR AND OPENED IT AND SURE ENOUGH THERE WAS THE
POODLE AND HE HAD SOMETHING IN HIS MOUTH, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT WAS?
RIGHT, IT WAS THE ICE CUBE.

Submitter comment: THIS STORY IS USED IN CONNECTION WITH SEQUENCE NUMBER 701604-17.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): IRONY PESSIMISM

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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THE GNICKS AND GNUS

ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WERE TWO VILLAGES VERY CLOSE TO EACH OTHER.
IN ONE OF THESE VILLAGES LIVED THE GNICKS AND IN THE OTHER, THE GNUS.
NOW IT TURNS OUT THAT GNICK HAPPENS TO BE A DELICACY FOR GNUS AND
GNU HAPPENS TO BE A DELICACY FOR GNICKS. SO IN THE FOREST BETWEEN
THE TWO VILLAGES A LOT OF HUNTING TOOK PLACE. THERE WAS ONE YOUNG
GNU WHO SHOWED GREAT PROMISE AS A HUNTER, SO HIS FATHER TOOK HIM OUT
TO TEACH HIM HUNTING WHEN HE WAS VERY YOUNG. HIS FATHER WAS A VERY
GOOD HUNTER HIMSELF, SO HE FIGURED THAT HE COULD MAKE THIS BOY REALLY
GREAT. ON THE FIRST TRIP OUT THE BOY LEARNED A LOT, AND HE SOON
WENT OUT HUNTING ON HIS OWN. ONE DAY HE WAS OUT HUNTING AND HE SAW
THE BIGGEST GNICK ANYONE HAD EVER SEEN. HE SNUCK UP ON HIM AND SHOT
HIM WITH HIS BOW AND ARROW. THE GNICK WAS SO BIG THAT IT TOOK HIM
4 HOURS TO DRAG IT BACK TO THE GNU VILLAGE. EVERYONE IN THE TOWN
WAS WORRIED ABOUT HIM BEING GONE SO LONG, BUT WHEN THEY SAW THE
GNICK HE HAD SHOT THEY UNDERSTOOD BECAUSE IT WAS THE BIGGEST GNICK
ANYONE HAD EVER SEEN. HIS MOTHER AND FATHER WERE VERY PROUD AND
THEY DECIDED THAT THE NEXT DAY THEY WOULD HAVE A HUGE FEAST FOR THE
WHOLE VILLAGE AND SERVE THE GNICK AT IT. SO THEY HUNG THE GNICK
IN A TREE SO THAT WILD ANIMALS COULDN'T GET AT IT AND THEY WENT TO
SLEEP. DURING THE COURSE OF THE NIGHT THE KID IS LYING IN BED AND
HE GETS AWFULLY HUNGRY, AND HE STARTS THINKING ABOUT THAT GNICK
AND HOW GOOD IT WOULD TASTE AND PRETTY SOON HE CAN'T THINK OF
ANYTHING ELSE BUT THAT GNICK. SO HE DECIDES THAT HE NEEDS A LITTLE
TASTE OF IT AND HE SLIPS OUT OF BED AND SNEAKS PAST HIS PARENTS
BEDROOM BEING VERY QUIET, AND HE SNEAKS DOWN THE STAIRS CAREFULLY
AVOIDING THE SECOND ONE FROM THE TOP BECAUSE IT SQUEAKS, GOES OUT IN
THE YARD, CUTS OFF THE GNICK'S FEET AND EATS THEM RIGHT THERE. AND
IT'S THE MOST INCREDIBLE THING HE'S EVER EATEN AND SNEAKS BACK
UPSTAIRS CAREFULLY AVOIDING THE SECOND STEP FROM THE TOP BECAUSE
IT SQUEAKS AND CLIMBS BACK INTO BED AND FALLS ASLEEP. ABOUT TWENTY
MINUTES LATER, HE WAKES UP REALLY HUNGRY AGAIN. AND HE TRIES TO
FIGHT IT BUT IT GETS WORSE AND WORSE UNTIL HE DECIDES HE'LL HAVE TO
HAVE SOME MORE GNICK OR HE'LL NEVER GET TO SLEEP. BESIDES THERE'S A
LOT OF GNICK OUT THERE AND HE DID ALL THE WORK FOR IT. SO HE SNEAKS
DOWNSTAIRS AGAIN CAREFULLY AVOIDING THE SECOND STEP FROM THE TOP
BECAUSE IT SQUEAKS, AND CUTS OFF THE LEGS OF THE GNICK AND EATS THEM.
THEN HE SNEAKS BACK UP THE STAIRS THIS TIME CAREFULLY AVOIDING THE
FIFTH STEP FROM THE BOTTOM BECAUSE IT'S BEGINNING TO SQEAK AND THE
SECOND STEP FROM THE TOP BECAUSE IT'S SQUEAKED RIGHT ALONG AND HE
FALLS BACK INTO BED AND HE FEELS GREAT. THIS TIME HE SLEEPS MAYBE
AN HOUR, AND HE WAKES UP THINKING ABOUT GNICK AGAIN. AND IT'S JUST
OVERWHELMING, HE CAN'T SLEEP WITHOUT SOME MORE OF THAT GNICK. SO
HE GETS UP AGAIN AND SNEAKS DOWN THE STAIRS BEING ESPECIALLY
CAREFUL IN THE HALL IN FRONT OF HIS PARENTS' ROOM BECAUSE LAST TIME
WHEN HE CAME IN IT HAD SQUEAKED AND ALMOST WOKE HIS FATHER UP. HE
ALSO CAREFULLY AVOIDED THE SECOND STEP FROM THE TOP SINCE IT
SQUEAKED AND THE FIFTH STEP FROM THE BOTTOM BECAUSE IT NOW HAD A
FULL- FLEDGED SQUEAK ALSO. HE WENT OUT IN THE YARD AND CUT OFF
EVERYTHING BUT THE HEAD AND ATE IT. HE WAS A LITTLE GUILTY BY
THIS TIME BUT HE KNEW THAT THE HEAD OF THE GNICK WAS EVEN BETTER
THAN THE REST AND THERE WAS STILL A LOT OF HEAD LEFT. SO HE WENT
BACK UPSTAIRS AND CAREFULLY AVOIDED THE FIFTH STEP FROM THE BOTTOM
AND THE SECOND STEP FROM THE TOP AND IN FACT HE HAD TO BE REALLY
CAREFUL EVERYWHERE, BECAUSE BY THIS TIME HE WAS GETTING PRETTY
HEAVY AND THEY WERE ALL BEGINNING TO MAKE NOISE. HE GOT BACK TO
HIS ROOM AND FELL RIGHT BACK TO SLEEP FOR ABOUT ANOTHER HOUR. HE WOKE
UP AND THIS TIME COULD THINK OF NOTHING BUT GNICK HEAD, AND IT GOT
WORSE AND WORSE UNTIL HE REALIZED THAT HE WAS GOING TO HAVE TO GO
DOWN AND GET THE REST OF THE GNICK. THAT'S WHAT HE DID, THIS TIME
GOING VERY SLOWLY THE WHOLE WAY TO AVOID WAKING ANYBODY, AND
CAREFULLY STAYING RIGHT NEXT TO THE WALL ON THE STAIRS BECAUSE THEY
SQUEAKED LESS THAT WAY. HE GOT OUTSIDE AND CUT DOWN THE HEAD AND
ATE IT AND HE REALIZED NOW WHY THE HUNTER ALWAYS GOT THE HEAD OF THE
GNICK THAT HE SHOT. IT WAS INCREDIBLE. HE HAD TO SIT DOWN UNDER THE
TREE FOR A WHILE TO GET OVER THE EXPERIENCE AND TO WORK UP THE
ENERGY TO GET BACK UP THE STAIRS. AND AFTER A WHILE HE GOT UP AND
MANAGED TO SNEAK BACK TO HIS ROOM VERY SLOWLY AVOIDING JUST ABOUT
EVERYTHING SINCE THE WHOLE HOUSE SEEMED TO BE DEVELOPING A SQUEAK.
HE MADE IT BACK TO HIS ROOM AND FELL DOWN ON THE BED AND LOOKED
AT HIS STOMACH WHICH BY THIS TIME HAD GROWN SO THAT IT MADE A BIG
BUMP UNDER THE BLANKETS. AND HE WENT TO SLEEP FEELING VERY
SATISFIED. THE NEXT MORNING, HIS PARENTS WOKE UP EARLY TO START
WORKING ON THE GNICK, HIS MOTHER WENT INTO THE KITCHEN TO START
PREPARING HER FAMOUS GNICK SAUCE AND HER HUSBAND WENT OUT TO GET
THE GNICK. HE GOT OUTSIDE, SAW THE BONES LYING THERE AND THOUGHT THAT
SOME WILD ANIMAL HAD GOTTEN TO THE GNICK. SO HE WENT UPSTAIRS TO
TELL HIS SON THE BAD NEWS AND HE GOT THERE AND SAW THE BUMP UNDER THE
COVERS AND FIGGERED OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED. HE WOKE THE KID UP AND
GRABBED HIM BY THE SCRUFF OF THE NECK AND DRAGGED HIM DOWN TO THE
KITCHEN AND SAID TO HIS WIFE, YOUR SON ATE THAT ENTIRE GNICK
OVERNIGHT AND I WANT YOU TO GIVE HIM A SPANKING HE'LL NEVER FORGET.
SHE TURNED AROUND AND LOOKED AT HIM AND SAID, PADDLE YOUR OWN GNU.

Submitter comment: C15 IN BRUNVAND'S SHAGGY DOG INDEX

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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THE STORY OF THE TRIDS

ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN THERE WAS AN ISLAND
CALLED TRIDIA. ON THIS ISLAND LIVED THE TRIDS. NOW, THE TRIDS WERE A
LITTLE STRANGE IN THAT INSTEAD OF KEEPING ALL THEIR
SUPPLIES RIGHT NEAR THEM THEY STORED THEM UP ON TOP OF THIS
MOUNTAIN THAT WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ISLAND. THEY DID THIS IN CASE
THEY WERE EVER ATTACKED FROM THE SEA, BECAUSE THE MOUNTAIN WAS MORE
EASILY DEFENDED. THE FACT THAT THEY HAD NEVER BEEN ATTACKED FROM
THE SEA DIDN'T INFLUENCE THEM TOO MUCH. ANYWAY, ONE DAY THIS BIG
GIANT CAME WALKING ACROSS THE OCEAN AND SAT DOWN RIGHT ON TOP OF
THE MOUNTAIN, AND WHENEVER ANY OF THE TRIDS WOULD TRY TO GET TO THE
SUPPLIES HE WOULD KICK THEM OFF. WELL, NEEDLESS TO SAY , THIS WAS
A BAD SITUATION FOR THE TRIDS, SINCE THEY COULDN'T GET AT ANY OF
THEIR FOOD, AND THEY SENT ARMIES TO TRY AND DRIVE THE GIANT AWAY
BUT THE GIANT WAS IMPERVIOUS TO THE WEAPONS THEY HAD, AND THEY
SENT LEADERS TO TRY AND REASON WITH HIM, BUT THE RESULT WAS ALWAYS
THE SAME, ALL OF THE TRIDS WOULD GET KICKED OFF THE MOUNTAIN. WELL,
ONE OF THE TRIDS HAD A FRIEND VISITING HIM FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY WHO
WAS A RABBI, AND THE RABBI SAID, LET ME GO TALK TO THE GIANT, MAYBE
HE'LL UNDERSTAND ME, MAYBE HE SPEAKS YIDDISH OR SOMETHING. SEEING
AS HOW THE SITUATION WAS GETTING DESPERATE THE TRIDS DECIDED TO LET
THE RABBI TRY IT, SO THE NEXT DAY HE LED A DELEGATION OF TRIDS UP
THE MOUNTAIN. WHEN THEY GOT NEAR THE TOP, THE GIANT CAME RUNNING
DOWN THE MOUNTAIN AND KICKED ALL THE TRIDS OFF BUT LEFT THE RABBI
STANDING THERE. THE RABBI LOOKED UP AT THE GIANT, AND SAID, GIANT
WHY DID YOU KICK ALL THE TRIDS OFF AND NOT ME? THE GIANT LOOKED
DOWN AT THE RABBI AND SAID, SILLY RABBI, KICKS ARE FOR TRIDS.

Submitter comment: THIS STORY REFERS TO A TV COMMERCIAL FOR A CEREAL CALLED TRIX, IN
WHICH A RABBIT IS ALWAYS TRYING TO GET SOME OF THE CEREAL AND IS
CAUGHT EACH TIME AND TOLD TRIX ARE FOR KIDS.
BELONGS IN BRUNVAND'S SHAGGY DOG TALE INDEX UNDER C1400-C1599, PUNCH
LINE FROM ADVERTISING

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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EASTER BREAKFAST CUSTOM

ON HOLY SATURDAY YOU WOULD PREPARE A BASKET LINED WITH LINEN NAPKINS
AND COVERED WITH THEM TOO. IN THE BASKET YOU WOULD PUT LITTLE ROUND
LOAVES OF BREAD, COLORED BOILED EGGS, LAMB SHAPED WHIPPED BUTTER,
SALT AND PEPPER, HORSERADISH, KIELBASA AND HAM. YOU WOULD TAKE THIS
TO THE PARISH TO BE BLESSED AND ON EASTER MORNING IT WOULD BE YOUR
BREAKFAST. ANYTHING YOU DIDN'T EAT WOULD HAVE TO BE BURNED OR BURIED.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): LEFTOVERS

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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THE VIPER STORY

A COUPLE HAD JUST GOTTEN MARRIED AND THEY LOOKED FOR AN APARTMENT
TO LIVE IN. THEY FOUND ONE ON THE SEVENTH FLOOR OF AN APARTMENT
BUILDING AND TWO DAYS LATER THEY MOVED IN. THE FIRST NIGHT THEY
WERE THERE THEY WERE SITTING IN THE LIVING ROOM WHEN THEY HEARD A
STRANGE SOUND FROM THE FIRST FLOOR. THERE WAS THIS VOICE CALLING
VERY MOURNFULLY, I'M THE VIPER. THEY GOT A LITTLE WORRIED BUT DIDN'T
THINK MUCH OF IT TIL THEY REALIZED THAT THE VOICE WAS COMING CLOSER.
THEY HEARD IT ON THE SECOND FLOOR SAYING, I'M THE VIPER. SOON THEY
HEARD IT EVEN CLOSER, ON THE THIRD FLOOR SAYING, I'M THE VIPER. BY
NOW THEY WERE PRETTY SCARED AND THE HUSBAND VENTURED OUT INTO THE
HALL WHERE HE COULD HEAR FOOTSTEPS COMING UP THE STAIRS FROM BELOW
AND HE STAYED THERE TIL HE HEARD I'M THE VIPER COMING FROM THE
FOURTH FLOOR. THEN HE RAN BACK INTO THE ROOM. BY THIS TIME THE
FOOTSTEPS WERE AUDIBLE EVEN INSIDE THE APARTMENT AND THEY LISTENED
WHILE IT CLIMBED TO THE FIFTH FLOOR, AND IT SAID I'M THE VIPER.
THEN IT SLOWLY CLIMBED THE STAIRS TO THE SIXTH FLOOR AND SAID I'M
THE VIPER. NOW IT WAS GETTING VERY CLOSE AND THEY HEARD EACH STEP
AS IT CLIMBED TO THEIR FLOOR. THEY COULD HEAR IT STOP OUTSIDE THEIR
DOOR AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THE DOOR FLEW OPEN AND A LITTLE MAN
CAME IN AND SAID, I'M THE VINDOW VIPER, VANT YOUR VINDOWS VIPED?

Submitter comment: THIS STORY IS TOLD VERY OMINOUSLY WITH THE I'M THE VIPERS BEING
A LITTLE LOUDER AND MORE HAUNTING EACH TIME. IT ALSO HELPS TO THROW
IN THE SOUND OF STAIRS BEING CLIMBED AT APPROPRIATE TIMES.

Where learned: ILLINOIS ; WESTCHESTER

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN WIPER ; VIPER=SNAKE ANIMAL

Date learned: 00001960S

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MARY AND THE LIVER

MARY'S MOTHER SENT HER TO THE STORE TO BUY SOME LIVER, BUT MARY
STOPPED AND PLAYED ALONG THE WAY AND LOST THE MONEY. AS SHE WAS
GOING HOME MARY SAW A DOG SO SHE HIT IT IN THE HEAD WITH A BRICK
AND KILLED IT. SHE CUT OUT ITS LIVER AND BROUGHT IT HOME. MARY'S
MOTHER COOKED THE LIVER NOT KNOWING THAT IT WAS THE LIVER OF A DOG.
BUT MARY KNEW. THE NEXT MORNING WHEN MARY'S MOTHER WENT TO WAKE HER
UP' MARY WAS GONE AND THERE WAS A DOG IN MARY'S BED.

Submitter comment: THIS STORY IS SOMETIMES TOLD AS A JUMP STORY. MARY GETS THE LIVER
FROM A BODY IN THE GRAVEYARD AND THE OWNER OF THE LIVER HAUNTS MARY
UNTIL HE FINALLY SAYS, "I HAVE GOT YOU:"

Where learned: LOUISIANA ; New Orleans

James Callow Keyword(s): GORE

Date learned: 11-05-1973

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GAME VERSE

HAMBONE, HAMBONE HAVE YOU HEARD
PAPA IS GONNA BUY ME A MOCKING BIRD.
IF THAT MOCKING BIRD DON'T SING
PAPA IS GONNA BUY ME A DIAMOND RING.
IF THAT RING DON'T SHINE
PAPA IS GONNA BUY ME A BOTTLE OF WINE.
IF THAT BOTTLE OF WINE DON'T TASTE,
PAPA IS GONNA TAKE ME TO THE LAKE.
IF THE WATER SPLASH ON ME
PAPA IS GONNA WHIP MY B-U-T

Submitter comment: THIS RHYME WAS USED AS A HAND CLAPPING GAME BETWEEN TWO OR MORE
PERSONS.

Where learned: LOUISIANA ; New Orleans

James Callow Keyword(s): EUPHEMISM SPELLING

Date learned: 11-05-1973

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CURSE TO KEEP PEOPLE AWAKE

FIRST WRITE A LETTER TO A DEAD PERSON TELLING HIM ABOUT THIS PERSON
YOU WANT TO KEEP AWAKE AT NIGHT TO THINK ABOUT HIS WRONG DOINGS. YOU
THEN SEAL THE LETTER AND PLACE IT UNDER YOUR BED. YOU ALSO PUT A
GLASS OF WATER ON TOP OF THE LETTER. WHEN THE WATER EVAPORATES THE
SPELL IS WORKING.

Submitter comment: THIS CURSE WAS USED ON A MALE FRIEND OF THE INFORMANT AND IT WAS
SUCCESSFUL. IT WAS USED IN FLORIDA.

Where learned: LOUISIANA ; FLORIDA ; New Orleans

James Callow Keyword(s): INSOMNIA ; SYMBOL

Date learned: CA11001973

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CHAIN LETTERS

WHEN YOU RECEIVE A CHAIN LETTER YOU SHOULD PUT IT BACK INTO THE
ENVELOPE, BURN IT ON ALL FOUR CORNERS, AND RETURN IT TO THE SENDER.

Submitter comment: I USED BOTH OF THESE METHODS AND NO BAD LUCK CAME TO ME.

Where learned: LOUISIANA ; New Orleans

James Callow Keyword(s): POSITION DIRECTION

Date learned: CA11001973

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POINTING

YOU SHOULD NEVER POINT AN ACCUSING FINGER AT A PERSON BECAUSE IF
YOU LOOK AT YOUR HAND, THREE OF YOUR FINGERS ARE POINTING AT YOU.

Submitter comment: TOLD TO BREAK CHILDREN OUT OF HABIT OF POINTING AT PEOPLE.

Where learned: LOUISIANA ; New Orleans

James Callow Keyword(s): FUNCTION

Date learned: CA11001973

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POINTING

IF YOU POINT AT THE SKY YOU SHOULD BITE YOUR FINGER BECAUSE YOU
ARE POINTING AT GOD.

Submitter comment: THIS SAYING WAS TOLD TO STOP CHILDREN FROM POINTING.

Where learned: LOUISIANA ; New Orleans

James Callow Keyword(s): FUNCTION

Date learned: CA11001973

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