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JOKE
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE ACCIDENT AT THE ARMY CAMP? NO, WHAT
HAPPENED? A JEEP RAN OVER A POPCORN BOX AND KILLED TWO KERNELS.
James Callow Keyword(s): PUN: KERNELS FOR COLONELS
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 00-00-1983
SAYING
THE WAY TO A MAN'S HEART IS THROUGH HIS STOMACH
Submitter comment:
SHE WAS MARRIED TO THE SAME MAN FOR OVER 50 YEARS.
SHE IS THE MOTHER OF THIRTEEN CHILDREN.
Where learned: ALABAMA ; MOBILE
James Callow Keyword(s): COOKING FOOD ; LOVE
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: 00-00-1950
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RIDDLE
WHAT DO YOU CALL IT WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR TONSILS REMOVED?
A TONSILECTOMY.
WHAT DO YOU CALL IT WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR APPENDIX REMOVED?
AN APPENDECTOMY.
WHAT DO YOU CALL IT WHEN A WOMAN WANTS HER SEX CHANGED?
ADD-A-DICK-TO-ME.
Submitter comment: I WAS SHOCKED BECAUSE I DIDN'T EXPECT SUCH AN ANSWER.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Keyword(s): ANATOMY
James Callow Keyword(s): SLANG: DICK FOR PENIS
| Subject headings: | RIDDLE -- Riddle Question Filter - Mature Content |
ON NEW YEAR'S DAY IT IS A TRADITION TO EAT
"HOP 'N' JOHN'S." IT IS SAID THAT IF YOU EAT THIS MEAL
YOU WILL HAVE GOOD LUCK FOR THE ENTIRE YEAR.
Submitter comment:
"HOP 'N' JOHNS" IS A SOUTHERN MEAL MADE UP OF
BLACK EYE PEAS WITH RICE AND HAM CHUNKS.
TO GET THE BEST OF LUCK THROUGHOUT THE YEAR
THE BLACK EYE PEAS SHOULD START SOAKING ON
NEW YEAR'S EVE UNTIL MORNING.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Keyword(s): FOOD
Date learned: 00001970CA
MIKE'S GRANDFATHER WAS ALWAYS CONFUSING HIM WHEN
HE WAS YOUNGER BY SAYING "DO YOU WALK TO WORK OR
TAKE YOUR LUNCH?" AFTER THIS WAS SAID MIKE WAS
DUMBFOUNDED FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Keyword(s): JOKES
James Callow Keyword(s): FORCED DILEMMA
| Subject headings: | Favorites RIDDLE -- Riddle Question |
Date learned: 00001978CA
THIS VERSE WAS TAKEN FROM MY MOTHER'S GRADE SCHOOL AUTOGRAPH BOOK.
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
AND TIED IT TO THE HEATER
AND EVERYTIME IT TURNED AROUND
IT BURNT ITS LITTLE SEATER.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): "SEATER" IS A EUPHEMISM FOR BUTTOCKS ; HUMOR
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse |
Date learned: 00-00-1954
THE PROPER WAY TO MAKE AN ACID SOLUTION
"DO AS YOU AUGHTER ADD ACID TO WATER."
Submitter comment:
THIS LITTLE RYME HELPS YOU TO REMEMBER THE SAFE WAY
TO MIX ACID AND WATER TO GET AN ACID SOLUTION.
Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT
Keyword(s): CACOGRAPHY: AUGHTER FOR OUGHT TO
| Subject headings: | ART CRAFT ARCHITECTURE -- MNEM |
Date learned: 00-00-1983
MY FAMILY HAS ALWAYS SAID THAT (A) PERSON WHOSE BIRTHDAY
IT WAS COULD NOT TALK WHEN EATING HIS PIECE OF CAKE.
CAUSE IF THEY DID, THEIR WISH WOULD NOT COME TRUE. IT
WAS JUST A RULE. IT WAS WHAT WE WERE TOLD. WE NEVER
QUESTIONED IT.
Submitter comment:
IT IS STILL A FAMILY TRADITION TODAY. (EVEN THOUGH MY
WISHES DON'T ALWAYS COME TRUE.)
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DINING ROOM ; ROSEVILLE
Keyword(s): MUTE
James Callow Keyword(s): FOOD
| Subject headings: | Favorites BELIEF -- Prayer BELIEF -- P647 |
Date learned: 00001940S
In order to the determine the sex of an unborn child
tie a needle to a thread and hold it over the stomach
of the woman. If you are very still, the needle will
begin to swing. If it goes in a circular motion, the
child will be a girl. If it goes in a straight line,
then it will be a boy.
Submitter comment:
Elaine says that her father never misses with this
technique, and that he has used it to determine the
sex of chicks while still in the egg. The only time
that they thought he might not be accurate in his
prediction was when his daughter-in-law was pregnant,
and the needle swung both ways. Later the daughter-in-
law gave birth to twins -- a boy and a girl. Elaine
believes that not everyone is capable of using this
method; that you must have a special talent for it.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
Keyword(s): pendulum, forecasting, anapel
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Use of Object BELIEF -- Use of object for determining number of children or sex of unborn |
Date learned: 00001940S
SEASHELL
SEASHELL TACOBELL EASY IVORY OVER.
NOW HERE COMES THE TEACHER WITH ARITHMETIC.
TWO AND TWO EQUAL FOUR AND FOUR EQUAL EIGHT.
NOW LET'S DO OUR EXERCISE.
JUMP UP AND TURN AROUND
TOUCH THE GROUND.
JUMP ROPE RHYME.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): MODERN FOLKLORE
| Subject headings: | Favorites Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Game Verse Game Verse |
Date learned: 00001980S
When my family and friends are sitting around the
house watching television, we have a saying when
you get up to go to the bathroom or get something
from the refrigerator. The saying is "Place back."
Saying "Place back" means that when you come back
you get your seat back. If you don't say "Place
back," anyone can take your seat from you. When
you come back and see that your seat is gone,
the person sitting in your chair must say,
"Move your meat, lose your seat" before you say
"Place back."
Submitter comment:
The game came about from not having enough
comfortable seats in the house. We were always
arguing who got to sit in the best chair.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Burt
James Callow Keyword(s): Reservation formula
| Subject headings: | Favorites Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Speech Speech SPEECH -- Formula |
Date learned: 00-00-1978
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Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
A boy walks up to his father covering something up
in his hands.
The father asks,
"What do you have covered up in your hands son?"
The boy replies,
"It's a bullfrog."
The father asks,
"What are going to do with it son?"
The boy replies,
"I'm going into town to trade it in for a bull."
A couple of hours later the boy comes back leading
a bull.
The next day the boy walks up to his father covering
something up in his hands.
The father asks,
"What do you have covered up in your hands son?"
The boy replies,
"Its a horsefly."
The father asks,
"What are you going to do with it son?"
The boy replies,
"I'm going into town to trade it in for a horse."
A couple of hours later the boy comes back leading
a horse.
The next day the boy walks up to his father covering
something up in his hands.
The father asks,
"What do you have covered in your hands son?"
The boy replies,
"It's a pussywillow."
The father says,
"Hold on a second son while I go and get my coat. I'll
drive you into town."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; LENNON
James Callow Keyword(s): Pussy = vulgar slang for illicit sex or sexy women
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote Filter - Mature Content |
Date learned: 00-00-1989
If you eat carrots you won't have to wear
glasses.
Submitter comment:
Informant believes this; however, she says that this
is told to children to get them to eat their carrots.
Children do not like to eat carrots but they dislike
wearing glasses even more.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): FOOD ; FUNCTION
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Body part Senses BELIEF -- Plant BELIEF -- Means of Causing or Avoiding Illness |
Date learned: 00001960S
On Christmas Eve day, it is good luck if the
first person to enter your house is a man and
bad luck if it is a woman.
Where learned: KANSAS ; Manhattan
James Callow Keyword(s): FIRST FOOTING ; SEXISM
Date learned: 00001920S
Now I lay me down to study.
I pray the Lord I don't go nutty.
And if I die before I wake,
That's one less test I'll have to take.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HEMLOCK
James Callow Keyword(s): Academic folklore
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Belief Belief |
Date learned: 00001980S
There goes (insert a playmate's name) floatin' down the
Delaware, chewing on his underwear, couldn't 'ford another
pair. Ten days later eaten by polar bear. Poor old
polar bear died.
Submitter comment:
My brothers and sisters and I used to sing this to antagonize
each other.
Sung to the tune "Old Grey Mare."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HEMLOCK
James Callow Keyword(s): Afford ; Eaten
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children |
Date learned: 00001980S
Yo is a White Sam.
Submitter comment:
A White Sam is a stupid person or one that does the
unnecessary. The story goes that White Sam
wanted to ride to town 8 miles away but he didn't have a
saddle and the occasion demanded that he be dressed in his
finest. White Sam walked 14 miles to West End
(7 miles there and 7 back) to borrow a saddle, then rode to
town in high style.
Where learned: VIRGIN ISLANDS ; Saint Thomas
Keyword(s): Yo = you
James Callow Keyword(s): Fool Numskull
| Subject headings: | SPEECH -- Formula PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: 03-00-1991
Diarrhea Drip, drip! Diarrhea! Drip, drip!
Some people think it's funny
But they like it hot and runny!
Diarrhea! Drip, drip! Diarrhea! Drip, drip!
Some people think it's nice
And they like it over rice!
Submitter comment:
The collector heard this as a child. It's a simple chant
where the last two lines after every "drip, drip" are changed.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): Feces as food ; HUMOR ; ILLNESS ; REFRAIN ; SICK HUMOR
| Subject headings: | 730 Lyrical Verse Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse Lyrical Verse Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse Lyrical Verse |
Date learned: 04-00-1991
This is a cure my sister was telling me her doctor did to her.
When you have ringworm you take off your wedding band, it has
to be gold, and have someone press it firmly down in the
infected area where the ringworm shows up. Within a few days
it will clear up.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FERNDALE
James Callow Keyword(s): homeopathic (ring for ringworm)
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Mineral |
Date learned: 00-00-1990
What is the best kind of chicken to eat?
Cooked chicken!
Submitter comment: One of her preschool children told her this riddle.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GROSSE POINTE
Keyword(s): FOOD
| Subject headings: | RIDDLE -- Riddle Question |
Date learned: 00-00-1991