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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

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GRANDPA REMEMBERS WHEN HIS MOTHER USED TO CUT PAPER SQUARES,
ABOUT 8 INCHES BY 8 INCHES EXACT. THIS WAS AFTER THE SUNDAY
PAPERS HAD BEEEN READ. AFTER JUDGING THE PILE SHE SAID, "SON
ATTACH THIS PILE TO THE PEG IN THE OUTHOUSE."

Submitter comment: THESE PAPERS WERE USED AS TOILET PAPER.

Where learned: DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): FUNCTIONAL SHIFT: NEWSPAPERS CONVERTED INTO TOILET PAPER

Subject headings:

CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Home

Date learned: 10-07-1972

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TRUE RIDDLE

Q: IT IS BLACK AND WHITE AND RED ALL OVER.
A: AN EMBARRASSED ZEBRA.

Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; RENO HALL LOBBY

Keyword(s): ANIMAL (A) ; LITERAL ; NATURAL PHENOMENON (Q) COLOR

James Callow Keyword(s): NEWSPAPER RIDDLE, VARIAN OF ; SPELLING: RED FOR READ

Subject headings:

RIDDLE -- True Riddle

Date learned: 10-01-1968

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RIDDLE

WHY DID THE MAN THROW HIS PANTS OUT THE WINDOW?
BECAUSE A MAN WAS YELLING, "FREE PRESS"

Where learned: SAINT LEONARD SCHOOL ; DETROIT, ASSUMED

Keyword(s): NEWSPAPER NAME ; PUN ON PRESS

Subject headings:

RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 11-15-1965

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RIDDLE

WHY DID THE MAN THROW HIS PANTS OUT THE WINDOW?
HE HEARD A BOY CALLING FREE PRESS

Where learned: SAINT LEONARD SCHOOL ; DETROIT, ASSUMED

Keyword(s): NEWSPAPER NAME

Subject headings:

RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 09-20-1965

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MORON JOKE

WHY DID THE MORON THROW HIS PANTS OUT OF THE WINDOW?
HE HEARD SOMEONE YELLING, FREE PRESS

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN

Keyword(s): NEWSPAPER NAME ; PUN

Subject headings:

RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

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NUN'S TALE

IF A GIRL SITS ON A BOY'S LAP, SHE SHOULD PUT A PHONE BOOK BENEATH
HER UNLESS THE GUY IS HER FATHER OR A RELATIVE, IN WHICH CASE A NEWS-
PAPER WILL BE SUFFICIENT, ACCORDING TO THE NUNS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): NEWSPAPER SITTING

Subject headings:

CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Street Trip Relations between relatives, friends, host and guest Social class Rank

Date learned: 02-12-1968

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Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

WHY DID THE LITTLE MORON THROW HIS PANTS OUT
THE WINDOW?
BECAUSE HE HEARD SOMEONE YELLING "FREE PRESS."

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): NEWSPAPER

Subject headings:

PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman

Date learned: 01-29-1968

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Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

WHY DID THE MORON THROW HIS PANTS OUT THE WINDOW?
HE HEARD A BOY CALLING, "FREE PRESS!"

Submitter comment:

I HEARD THIS JOKE MANY TIMES AS A YOUNGSTER. ODDLY
ENOUGH, I NEVER CAUGHT ON TO IT UNTIL I WAS IN HIGH
SCHOOL.

Where learned: MICHIGAN

James Callow Keyword(s): NEWSPAPER.

Subject headings:

PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman

Date learned: 00001950S

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Poor Wording

A number of GI's in England during the war decided to hold a horse race to keep up the morale of the base. For some reason they were short of active animals for the event. Now it happened that the local parish priest had a donkey and they obtained his permission to use it to make up the field. The donkey to the surprise of everyone came in third in the first race. Where upon the camp newspaper came out with the headline "Padre's Ass Shows."

This naturally caused no small scandal among the people of the parish and eventually reached the bishop. However, when called to ask about it by the bishop the padre managed to mollify the good man by explaining it was only an American slang expression. The next day a race was held and the donkey came in first. The paper then announced "Padre's Ass Out in Front."

This called for further episcopal disapproval, but again the padre succeeded in mollifying the bishop. The third day's race the donkey finished second and the paper reported "Padre's Ass back in Place." This was the last straw for the bishop and he ordered the priest to withdraw the animal from the race. The camp then came forth with the sad news: "Bishop Scratches Padre's Ass."

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Original BN [ B667 ] modified: the number zero is written over the seven. Additionally, the entire BN is crossed out and replaced with B660.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): AMERICAN ; Anecdote ; Culture Clash ; DONKEY ; European ; GAMBLING ; HORSE ; Jest ; Language ; MILITARY ; NEWSPAPER ; PUN ; RACING ; RELIGION ; SLANG