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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

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Your search for JOKES returned 19 results.

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MIKE'S GRANDFATHER WAS ALWAYS CONFUSING HIM WHEN
HE WAS YOUNGER BY SAYING "DO YOU WALK TO WORK OR
TAKE YOUR LUNCH?" AFTER THIS WAS SAID MIKE WAS
DUMBFOUNDED FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): JOKES

James Callow Keyword(s): FORCED DILEMMA

Subject headings: Favorites
RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 00001978CA

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DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE COP THAT RAN OVER HIMSELF?
A YOUNG POLICE OFFICER WENT TO THE CORNER STORE TO
BUY HIMSELF A PACK OF CIGARETTES. AFTER LEARNING THAT
THIS STORE DID NOT HAVE HIS BRAND, HE ASKED THE STORE
CLERK IF SHE COULD GO ACROSS THE STREET FOR HIM AND BUY
HIM HIS BRAND. "I'M TIRED," HE REPLIED.
SHE EXPLAINED TO HIM THAT SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE WORKING
AND SHE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO GO FOR HIM. THE POLICEMAN
ACCEPTED HER REFUSAL AND RAN OVER HIMSELF.

Submitter comment: ANOTHER ONE OF GRANDPA FOURNIER'S DUMB JOKES.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): JOKES

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 00001978CA

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Little Billy Jokes

Little Billy runs into the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy!!"
"Quick get me a spoon!!"
His mother says, "What for?"
Billy replied, "Johnny threw up in the back seat of the car
and he's getting all the big chunks!"
Little Billy says, "Mommy, why is Daddy running
so fast down the driveway?" To which his mother replies, "Shut
up and reload this gun."
Little Billy asks, "Mommy, what happened to furball, the
kitty?" To which his mother replies, "Shut up, and finish
your meatloaf."

Submitter comment: These are Little Billy jokes. I used to know several of them
all having to do with something gross or disgusting.
Several of the jokes have a certain formula.
E.g. - Little Billy says, "Mommy, why are/is ___________?
To which his mother would reply, "Shut up, and ___________.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HEMLOCK

James Callow Keyword(s): Sick Jokes

Subject headings: Favorites
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 00001970S

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One day Toto was at the park with his mother.
"I want to pee," Toto exclaimed in front of many people.
"Toto," his embarrassed mother said. "Don't say you have to pee,
Toto. Say you have to...whistle and I'll know what you mean."
The next day Toto went to a movie with his dad.
"Daddy," Toto said. "I want to whistle."
"Not here," his father replied.
"But father," Toto said again. "I really want to whistle."
"O.K. Toto," his angered father replied. "If you have to whistle,
then whistle quietly in my ear."

Where learned: GREECE

Keyword(s): urination, jokes

Subject headings: Favorites
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 00001947CA

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At lunch time in school, Toto had to go to the bathroom but was
afraid to leave his lunch unattended so on a piece of paper he wrote:
"I SPIT ON." He placed this paper on his lunch and left for the
bathroom. Upon returning he looked on the note and under his writing
he read: "I SPIT ON TOO."

Where learned: GREECE

Keyword(s): jokes, saliva

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 00001946CA

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THERE WAS A STORY AT OLIVET COLLEGE ABOUT THE FRESHMAN
ENGLISH PROFESSOR WHO GRADED EXAMS BY THROWING
THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS; THE "A'S" WERE ON
THE TOP STEP, THE "A-'S" ON THE NEXT, ETC.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; MICHIGAN, ASSUMED ; OLIVET

Keyword(s): ACADEMIC JOKES

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Human Being

Date learned: 12-00-1971 ; 00-00-1960

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PREDICTION OF GRADES

THERE IS A PROFESSOR HERE AT THE UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT
WHO IS KNOWN TO GIVE OUT HIS GRADES IN THE FOLLOWING
MANNER (FR. HOETTER).
A-ATHLETES
B-BOYS
C-COEDS
D-DISSENTERS

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ACADEMIC JOKES, GRADING

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Human Being

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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THERE WAS A STORY AT OLIVET COLLEGE ABOUT THE FRESHMAN
ENGLISH PROFESSOR WHO GRADED EXAMS BY THROWING
THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS; THE "A'S" WERE ON
THE TOP STEP, THE "A-'S" ON THE NEXT, ETC.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; MICHIGAN, ASSUMED ; OLIVET

Keyword(s): ACADEMIC JOKES

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Human Being

Date learned: 12-00-1971 ; 00-00-1960

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PREDICTION OF GRADES

THERE IS A PROFESSOR HERE AT THE UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT
WHO IS KNOWN TO GIVE OUT HIS GRADES IN THE FOLLOWING
MANNER (FR. HOETTER).
A-ATHLETES
B-BOYS
C-COEDS
D-DISSENTERS

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ACADEMIC JOKES, GRADING

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Human Being

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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THE HATCHET MAN

IN SEPTEMBER, 1969, I STARTED AT U. OF D. AS A MATH MAJOR
AND THE PROF FOR MY FIRST MATH CLASS MATH 141 WAS MR.
TRAVIS. ONE DAY HE PROMISED TO TELL US WHY HIS STUDENTS
SUPPOSEDLY CALLED HIM "THE HATCHET MAN." (I HADN'T
HEARD THE NAME APPLIED TO HIM BEFORE THIS TIME, BUT MAYBE
IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS JUST A FIRST TERM FRESHMAN.) HE SAID
THAT HE HAD HAD ONE STUDENT WHO WAS BOUND AND DETERMINED
TO PASS ONE MATH COURSE HE WAS TEACHING, EVEN THOUGH IT
WAS ABOUT THE THIRD OR FOURTH TIME AROUND FOR THE STUDENT.
THE REASON THE STUDENT WAS SO DETERMINED WAS THAT HE
NEEDED THE COURSE TO GRADUATE. FINALLY, HE SUCCEEDED
IN PASSING AND AFTER GRADUATION, HE GAVE TRAVIS A TOKEN
OF HIS APPRECIATION, A GOLD (PAINTED) HATCHET WHICH
TRAVIS SHOWED OUR MATH 141 CLASS.
DURING TERM II 70-71, I FOUND MYSELF ONCE AGAIN SHARING
THREE HOURS A WEEK IN ONE OF THE MATH CLASSES (MATH 431)
TAUGHT BY TRAVIS. HE EVIDENTLY STILL HAD THE HATCHET
SINCE HE TOLD US THE SAME STORY I HAD HEARD IN 1969.
ONCE AGAIN, HE SHOWED US THAT SAME GOLD HATCHET.

Submitter comment: IN MATH 141 HE GAVE ME A B; IN MATH 431 HE GAVE ME
AN A, SO HE CAN'T BE THAT BAD.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): UNUSUAL GIFTS ACADEMIC JOKES

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Human Being

Date learned: 10-30-1971 ; 00001969-1971

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Entry filtered.

An Unpleasant Surprise

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

There was a young engaged couple from a small town who had come home from a date one night. Nobody was home and the house was dark. On the table there was a note for the girl which said to close the basement windows. Seeing that noone was around, the young couple stripped down naked. The girl got on the boy's shoulders piggy-back and they started down the stairs. As they reached the last step all the lights went on - it was surprise bridal shower for the girl!

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Original Boggs number [B600] has been crossed out and replaced with B646

Where learned: DURING A VISIT

Keyword(s): ALLUSION TO SEXUAL INTERCOURSE ; Engagement ; HUMOR ; JOKES ; MARRIAGE ; Modesty ; Moral ; PARTY ; Prank ; SEX ; SURPRISE ; YOUTH

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Romantic Realistic
Filter - Mature Content

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The Nun in the Bar

A guy picked up a nun in the street and invited her into a bar to have a drink with him. "I really shouldn't," said the nun. But the man finally convinced her. when they got into the bar she told him she'd have a double martini, but to bring it in a coffee cup so that other people wouldn't knwo she was drinking. "Hey bartender," the man yelled out. "Give me a double martini in a coffee cup!" "oh," replied the bartender, "That nun's back again."

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Keyword(s): BAR ; Bartender ; Bartender Jokes ; Comic dialogue ; DIALOGUE ; DRINKING HUMOR ; HUMOR ; JOKES ; Pub ; RELIGION ; RELIGIOUS ; Religious Jokes

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Religious

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Entry filtered.

Rape is assault with a friendly weapon.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs and BN added by TRD

James Callow comment:

The original BN [W200] is crossed out. It is not replaced with another BN.

Submission card was located in a pile marked To Be Classified.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BIRMINGHAM

Keyword(s): ANTIFEMINISM ; Distasteful Jokes ; Female ; Harm ; JOKE ; Male ; Misogyny ; POWER ; Rape ; SICK JOKE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Product or activity of man or animal
Filter - Mature Content

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Entry filtered.

Ethnic Joke: Black

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

Ethnic (Black) Joke

5 Men are on the moon. Because of rocket engine trouble, only 4 can come back to Earth. The captain of the ship proposes a question to be asked to each of the men. If they answer correctly, they return to Earth. If not, they will be left there. He asks the first: "What was the worst sea-going accident of all time?" The crew man replies"The sinking of the Titanic." "Good!" the captain replies. "You have a place with me on the ship." He comes to the second crewman and asks, "how many people died on that ship?" The crew man answers "about 1100 people, sir." "Good!" The captain says. "You have a place on the ship with me." He comes to the third crewman and says "allright nigger, name 'em!"

(Obviously, he didn't make it...)

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs and BN added by TRD

James Callow comment:

The word Negro is written in the top left hand corner of the submission card.

Submission card was located in a pile labeled To Be Classified.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; DORM ROOM

Keyword(s): DEROGATORY ; DEROGATORY SLANG ; Distasteful Jokes ; ETHNIC JOKE ; ETHNIC SLUR ; MOON ; NEGRO ; NIGGER ; RACISM ; Stereotype ; Titanic

James Callow Keyword(s): NEGRO

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- C566
RIDDLE -- W566
Filter - Mature Content

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Entry filtered.

Ethnic Joke: Black

Ethnic (Black) Joke:

Did you hear about the accident on the Lodge Freeway Yesterday?

A colored guy stuck his head out of the window while travelling 60 mph, and his lips beat him to death!

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs and BN added by TRD

James Callow comment:

The word negro is written in the top left hand corner of the submission card.

Submission card was located in a pile labeled To Be Classified.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; TOLD AT INFORMANTS HOME

Keyword(s): AUTOMOBILE ; DEROGATORY ; DEROGATORY SLANG ; Distasteful Jokes ; ETHNIC JOKE ; Freeway ; NEGRO ; RACISM ; Stereotype

James Callow Keyword(s): NEGRO

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- C566
RIDDLE -- W566
Filter - Mature Content

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Prank

Fletcher Tube:

The Fletcher Tube us a non-existent piece of equipment. When freshmen are having problems in lab, you tell them that a Fletcher Tube will do the trick. They go to the stockroom to check one out and are laughed at.

Submitter comment:

Informant said that he pulled this gag while he was a graduate student.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; CLASSROOM ; CHEMISTRY BUILDING

Keyword(s): ACADEMIC JOKES ; Chemistry ; COLLEGE ; COLLEGE PRANK ; COLLEGE PRANK ; Entertainment ; Freshman ; Hazing ; JOKE ; Laboratory ; PRACTICAL JOKE ; Prank

Subject headings: CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion

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Entry filtered.

Ethnic Joke: Jewish

Descriptions of a Jewish Christmas Card: on the front it has a tree, and strung from the tree, instead of the usually bulbs [sic], it has 32 colored Matzo Balls, and on the top, instead of the star of Bethlehem, it has a Jewish star, not the star adavin [sic], but a picture of Sammy Davis Jr. or Liz Taylor, you can take your pick.

Submitter comment:

Sammy Davis Jr. and Liz Taylor are Jewish movie stars.

Data entry tech comment:

I believe that adavin is supposed to be "of David."

Motifs and BN added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Submission card located in pile marked [?]

Where learned: HOME ; MICHIGAN ; OAK PARK

Keyword(s): CHRISTMAS ; Decoration ; Distasteful ; ETHNIC ; Hollywood ; HUMOR ; Jewish ; JOKES ; Offensive ; Stereotype ; Tree

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery

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Entry filtered.

Jokes: Off-Color

What's red and sits in the corner?

-A baby chewing on a razor blade.

Data entry tech comment:

entered by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN

Keyword(s): BABY ; Distasteful Jokes ; infant ; JOKE ; razor

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
Filter - Mature Content

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Entry filtered.

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

What do you call lipstick for blacks?
Mop and glow.
What do they do with dead blacks in Florida?
They skin them and use them for wetsuits!

Data entry tech comment:

Updated by TRD

Where learned: DETROIT ; OFFICE

Keyword(s): African American ; Bigot ; Black ; JOKES ; Offensive ; RACISM ; Racist ; RIDDLE ; Stereotype ; Tasteless

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question
Filter - Mature Content

Date learned: 01-00-1991

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showing 19 items

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