There was once a traveling salesman whose car broke down in the rain. He ran to the closest farmhouse and quickly knocked at the door. An old farmer answered and the salesman pleaded for a place to spend the night.

"I'll give you board," the farmer said, "but I ain't got no daughter for you to sleep with."

"Oh." said the salesman. "Then how far is the next house?"

Submitter comment:

I remember this from Awrey's Bakery, where I worked this summer.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Submission card located in pile marked These don't sound traditional - Do Not File Yet.

Keyword(s): Anti-feminist ; CUSTOMS ; DAUGHTER ; FARMER ; HOSPITALITY ; HUMOR ; JOKE ; Rain ; Salesman ; Stranded

Subject headings:

PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
Filter - Mature Content

View just this record

Entry filtered.

Play on Words

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

Traveling Salesman:

There once was a salesman who was forced to take the train home one night. While sleeping in his bunk the beautiful young girl in the bunk below him asked him if he would get an extra blanket for her. He leaned over and opened her curtains and with a wise look said, "would you like to play like we are married?"

"O.K." she said, blushing.

"Well then," he quickly answered. "Go get it yourself."

Submitter comment:

I remember it from Awrey Bakery, where I worked last summer.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Submission card located in pile marked These don't sound traditional - Do Not File Yet.

Keyword(s): Blanket ; Consent ; Favor ; Girl ; HUMOR ; JOKE ; MARRIAGE ; Married ; PUN ; Salesman ; SEX ; Train

Subject headings:

PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
Filter - Mature Content

View just this record

Entry filtered.

Play on Words

Celibacy:

There was a priest who wore shorts every time he tool a shower. he didn't like looking down at the unemployed.

Submitter comment:

Very common joke at Sacred Heart Seminary

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Submission card located in pile marked These don't sound traditional - Do Not File Yet.

Keyword(s): Celibacy ; Genitalia ; HUMOR ; JOKE ; PUN ; RELIGION ; Shorts ; Shower ; Vow

Subject headings:

PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
Filter - Mature Content

View just this record

Play on Words

Women's Clothes:

It's come to the point where you can't judge a girl by her clothes...There isn't enough evidence.

Submitter comment:

I heard this at Awrey Bakery, where I worked last summer.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Submission card located in pile marked These don't sound traditional - Do Not File Yet.

Keyword(s): CLOTHING ; Fashion ; Female ; Girl ; HUMOR ; JOKE ; Judge ; PUN ; Woman

Subject headings:

PROSE NARRATIVE -- B300

View just this record

Entry filtered.

Play on Words

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

Too Young:

A young forth grade girl went up to her teacher and asked "can I have a baby?"

"Why no," ansewred the teacher, "you are much too young."

From the back of the room came a deep sigh of relief.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Submission card located in pile marked These don't sound traditional - Do Not File Yet.

Keyword(s): CHILD ; CHILDREN ; HUMOR ; JOKE ; PREGNANCY ; PUN ; SEX

Subject headings:

PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
Filter - Mature Content

View just this record

Play on Words

Girls:

One of the most expensive things in this world can be a girl who says she is free for the evening.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Submission card located in pile marked These don't sound traditional - Do Not File Yet.

Keyword(s): DATE ; DATING ; Expense ; Expensive ; Free ; Girl ; HUMOR ; JOKE ; MONEY ; PUN

Subject headings:

PROSE NARRATIVE -- B300

View just this record

Play on Words

The reason the modern girl's bathing suit is real cool is that most of it is real gone.

Submitter comment:

Heard it at Awrey's Bakery where I worked last summer.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Submission card located in pile marked These don't sound traditional - Do Not File Yet.

Keyword(s): Bathing Suit ; Bikini ; Fashion ; Female ; Girl ; HUMOR ; JOKE ; MODERN ; PUN ; Woman

Subject headings:

PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

View just this record

Play on Words

Women's Clothing:

Nothing can replace today's women's bathing suit; in fact, it already has.

Submitter comment:

Heard this at Awrey's Bakery where I worked last summer.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Submission card located in pile marked These don't sound traditional - Do Not File Yet.

Keyword(s): Bathing Suit ; Bikini ; Fashion ; Female ; Girl ; HUMOR ; JOKE ; PUN ; WOMEN

Subject headings:

PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

View just this record

Retort

That's about as funny as a screen door in a submarine!

Submitter comment:

To be said to someone when they have just told a joke.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; HUMOR ; INSULT ; JOKE ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings:

SPEECH -- Formula

View just this record

Entry filtered.

RIDDLE

Q: WHAT DID HELEN KELLER SAY WHEN SHE FELL DOWN THE CLIFF?
A: NOTHING. HELEN KELLER CANNOT SPEAK.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GROSSE POINTE PARK

Keyword(s): cliff ; Distasteful ; Helen Keller ; JOKE ; MUTE

James Callow Keyword(s): CATCH

Subject headings:

RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

View just this record

Retort

Do you have a shikkonwheye?

What's a shikkonwheye?

Oh, about two or three pounds.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Catch. Prank.

Where learned: HOME

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; HUMOR ; INSULT ; JOKE ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings:

SPEECH -- Formula

View just this record

Custom: Holiday

"NO ONE REALLY KNOWS WHO ENJOYED THE FIRST APRIL FOOL'S
DAY GUFFAWS. SOME SAY THE DAY OF BUFFOONERY BEGAN IN
FRANCE IN 1564, WHEN NEW YEAR'S DAY WAS CARRIED BACK
TO JANUARY 1 INSTEAD OF BEING CELEBRATED ON MARCH 25.
THOSE PEOPLE WHO OBJECTED TO THE TIME JUGGLE WERE
GIVEN MOCK NEW YEAR'S GIFTS ON APRIL 1, WHICH USED TO
BE THE FINAL DAY OF MERRYMAKING. THE PRACTICAL JOKE
CUSTOM POPPED UP IN BRITAIN BY THE 18TH CENTURY, AND
THE BRITISH EXPORTED THE ZANY PRACTICE TO NORTH
AMERICA."

Data entry tech comment:

Updated and Motifs added / 02-28-2011 / TRD

Keyword(s): APRIL FOOL'S DAY ; Britain ; CUSTOM ; France ; holiday ; JOKE ; New Years ; Origin ; PRACTICAL JOKE ; Prank

Subject headings:

CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- April 1 April Fools
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- April 1 April Fools
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- March 21 equinox to June 20

View just this record

Proverb

Where there's a will, there is a relative.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Original BN [B660] crossed out. Replaced with current classification.

Keyword(s): Aphorism ; Apothegm ; FAMILY ; JOKE ; Maxim ; PROVERB ; PUN ; Relatives ; VERSE ; Will

Subject headings:

PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor

View just this record

Proverb

People who live in glass houses should undress in the basement.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Original BN [V300] crossed out. Replaced with current classification.

Keyword(s): Aphorism ; Apothegm ; DRESS ; Exposure ; GLASS ; HUMOR ; HYPOCRISY ; JOKE ; Maxim ; METAPHOR ; PROVERB ; PUN ; VERSE

Subject headings:

PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor

View just this record

Joke

Easter Joke:

"Easter will be a little late this year, they found the body."

Submitter comment:

Sign on the desk of a room in Payne Hall, Peabody College.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: Myself

Keyword(s): BODY ; Easter ; holiday ; JOKE ; RELIGION ; Resurrection

Subject headings:

PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

View just this record

Prank

Dorm Doorknobs:

I have often heard of this trick praticed in college dormatories and once actually saw it being done. One night, quiet [sic] late when most everyone had gone to sleep a girl on muy floor took a ball of string and tied either end to doorknobs which faced one another. The idea of this is that the next morning when girls began leaving for class they would be unable to open their doors. You can well imagine the shouting which occured the "morning after" this trick.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Keyword(s): COLLEGE ; Doorknob ; Dorm ; Dormitory ; JOKE ; PRACTICAL JOKE ; Prank ; String

Subject headings:

Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- C537

View just this record