The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

Goblin Story

A few years ago, in the main plant of Valente's Men's Formal Wear, the general manager, Marty Rapp, and David Palm were cleaning out the drainage wells beside the 50 pound washers down in the laundry. These wells are about 3 feet in diameter and 6 feet deep. Marty, being general manager, directed, while Dave did the cleaning. All of a sudden, Dave found himself being pulled into the well. He was waist deep in the murky water before Marty pulled him out by the arm. Maybe it was well that Marty was there directing, far Max, a vile, loathsome creature that lives in the sewers under Valente's had tried to pull Dave down into his submarine lair. For what purpose, no one knows, but it is certain it wouldn't have been pleasant. From then on, people are cautioned not to walkalone in the laundry in the dark.

Submitter comment:

For us at Valente's, Max is something to blame accidents on. Dave didn't really get pulled into the well, Marty pushed him in. Though, if you ask anyone there about Dave falling into the well, you will probably get the version with Max in it, then the real one.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; VALENTES MENS FORMALWEAR

Keyword(s): FANTASY ; Goblin ; Lore ; Mischief ; OMEN ; SEWER ; Submarine ; SUPERNATURAL ; WATER

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Goblin Story

A few years ago, in the main plant of Valente's Men's Formal Wear, the general manager, Marty Rapp, and David Palm were cleaning out the drainage wells beside the 50 pound washers down in the laundry. These wells are about 3 feet in diameter and 6 feet deep. Marty, being general manager, directed, while Dave did the cleaning. All of a sudden, Dave found himself being pulled into the well. He was waist deep in the murky water before Marty pulled him out by the arm. Maybe it was well that Marty was there directing, far Max, a vile, loathsome creature that lives in the sewers under Valente's had tried to pull Dave down into his submarine lair. For what purpose, no one knows, but it is certain it wouldn't have been pleasant. From then on, people are cautioned not to walkalone in the laundry in the dark.

Submitter comment:

For us at Valente's, Max is something to blame accidents on. Dave didn't really get pulled into the well, Marty pushed him in. Though, if you ask anyone there about Dave falling into the well, you will probably get the version with Max in it, then the real one.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; VALENTES MENS FORMALWEAR

Keyword(s): FANTASY ; Goblin ; Lore ; Mischief ; OMEN ; SEWER ; Submarine ; SUPERNATURAL ; TRICKSTER ; WATER

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Proverb

That's as funny as a screen door in a submarine

Submitter comment:

Wet Floor

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Located in pile marked Duplicates and Other Rejects

Keyword(s): Funny ; JOKE ; SARCASM ; Screen Door ; SIMILE ; Submarine ; Unfunny

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Retort

You're as handy as a screen door in a submarine.

Submitter comment:

Learned from classmate at school

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: OHIO ; WASHINGTON ; WASHINGTON COURT HOUSE

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; INSULT ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Screen ; Submarine ; Wisecrack

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Autograph Rhyme

Cynical Autograph Rhyme;

Roses are red, Violets are green.

You have a shape like a submarine.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Keyword(s): AUTOGRAPH ; COLOR ; Cynical ; FLOWERS ; poem ; Red ; RHYME ; Roses ; Signature ; Submarine ; VERSE ; Violets

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Autograph Rhyme

Roses are red, leaves are green.

You have a shape like a submarine.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Keyword(s): AUTOGRAPH ; COLOR ; Cynical ; FLOWERS ; Green ; Leaves ; Red ; RHYME ; Roses ; Signature ; Submarine ; VERSE

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Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

WHILE DATING IN HIGH SCHOOL, IT WAS
SAID THAT YOU COULD GO TO BELLE ISLE
TO "WATCH THE SUBMARINE RACES," WHICH
WAS ACTUALLY AN EXCUSE TO GO PARKING
AND KISS.

Data entry tech comment:

Updated by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): Belle Isle ; DATE ; DATING ; EUPHEMISM ; INTERCOURSE ; PARKING ; Relationship ; SEX ; Submarine ; Teenager

Date learned: 00-00-1960

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