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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

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EVERY GOOD BOY DOES FINE. THESE ARE THE NAMES OF THE
FIRST FIVE NOTES ON THE LINES OF A MUSICAL SCALE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN

James Callow Keyword(s): {THAT IS THE INITIAL LETTER OF THESE WORDS}.

Subject headings: ART CRAFT ARCHITECTURE -- MNEM

Date learned: 10-02-1969

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RETORT

WHEN SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU HAVE A MATCH, YOU CHEERILY ANSWER BACK:
"YEAH, DAFFY DUCK AND SPIRO AGNEW." OR "SURE -- ME AND SUPERMAN."

Submitter comment: I OBTAINED THIS ONE WITHOUT EVEN ASKING FOR IT.

Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; TOLD AT

James Callow Keyword(s): BRAG BOAST ; CARTOON CHARACTER DAFFY DUCK ANIMAL ; VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: SPIRO AGNEW

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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THE FACE

HIS FACE LOOKS LIKE THE SOUTH END (SIDE) OF A HORSE GOING NORTH.

Submitter comment: YOU CAN USE THIS RETORT ANYTIME SOMEONE IS BRAGGING OR PUTTING
SOMEONE ELSE DOWN AND YOU WANT HIM TO KNOW HE HAS NOTHING TO TALK
ABOUT.

Where learned: HOME ; MICHIGAN ; GROSSE POINTE WOODS

James Callow Keyword(s): ANIMAL COMPARISON ; EUPHEMISM FOR RUMP OF HORSE ; INSULT UGLINESS

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 02-25-1971

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HAWAIIAN GESTURE

IN HAWAII THEIR TRADITIONAL GREETING IS "ALOHA" TO NEW ARRIVALS.
THIS CONSISTS OF PUTTING A LEI OF FLOWERS AROUND THEIR NECK
AND GIVING THEM A KISS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GRAND RAPIDS

Keyword(s): GARLAND OF FLOWERS

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Body parts involved S602.2
SPEECH -- Greetings Salutations

Date learned: 04-05-1971

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CASINO WORKERS USE GESTURES: FINGERTIPS TOUCHING
TABLE MEANS "THERE'S A CHISLER HERE;" A FINGER BEHIND
THE EAR IS A DISTRESS CALL FOR THE HEAD MAN; CROSSED
INDEX AND THIRD FINGER MEANS "PLEASE TAKE OVER;"
PALM AND FINGERS EXTENDED DOWNWARD MEANS "THEY ARE
CLEANED OUT."

Where learned: BOOK

Keyword(s): SLANG: CLEANED OUT: OUT OF MONEY.

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Special Object or Implement
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Work Commerce Business
SPEECH -- Underworld
SPEECH -- Instructions Directions

Date learned: 00-00-1965

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RIDDLE

MR GREEN IS A BUTCHER. HE IS SIX FEET TALL AND WEARS A
SIZE TEN SHOE. WHAT DOES HE WEIGH?
-- MEAT

Where learned: HOME ; TOLD AT

Keyword(s): TRANSATIVE AND INTRANSATIVE MEANING OF VERB "TO WEIGH."

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 11-00-1965

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RIDDLE

WHAT DO ALL SHIPS WEIGH, REGARDLESS OF SIZE?
-- ANCHORS

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; TOLD AT COLLECTORS HOME

Keyword(s): TRANSATIVE AND INTRANSATIVE MEANING OF VERB "WEIGH."

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 00-00-0000

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Story

The recruit would go around the base in a constant search looking for a piece of paper. He would go through elaborate to attract attention [sic]. He would turn over rocks, pick up other pieces of paper or what have you. After each act he would exclaim "no, that's not it!" Finally he got the attention of the camp doctors who then had him confined. Finally the doctors deemed him unfit for service and gave him a medical discharge. Then the guy said he finally found the right piece of paper.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Original Bogg Number [B600] crossed out and replaced with B646

Where learned: NAVY ; Myself

Keyword(s): Discharge ; FEIGNED INSANITY TO GET OUT OF MILITARY SERVICE. ; Fool ; INSANITY ; INSANITY ; Mental Disorder ; MILITARY ; Parable ; Recruit ; Sanity ; Wise Fool

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Romantic Realistic

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Entry filtered.

Ethnic Joke: The Height of Ingratitude

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

A poor decrepit Irishman, with a large family, was out of work and broke. He needed $50 very badly. He applied to his priest who advised him to search for work and pray, and he would find it. A week went by without results so the Irishman decided to appeal to the Lord directly. He wrote a stirring tearful letter asking for $50. he addresses the letter to the Lord God in care of Heaven, and mailed it, but did not put a stamp on it.

The postman, thinking it was only a child's letter, opened it and after reading same [sic] was deeply touched by the appeal. That night he took the letter with him to the Masonic Lodge meeting and brought it to the attention of the lodge in session. They promptly voted him $25, and they sent it to the Irishman.

A few days later the postman found another letter similar to the one addressed without a stamp. He opened it and read: Dear God, Thanks for the money, but please - next time send it by way of the Knights of Columbus because the goddamned Masons stole half of it.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs and BN added by TRD

James Callow comment:

The word IRISH is written in the top left corner of the submission.

Submission card located in a pile marked To Be Classified.

Where learned: HOME ; MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): CHARITY ; GIFT MONEY ; HUMOR ; INGRATITUDE ; Irish ; IRISHMEN ; Knights of Columbus ; Masons ; MONEY ; POVERTY ; Stereotype ; STUPIDITY

James Callow Keyword(s): Irish

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman

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Play on Words

Play on Words:

Paradox: Casey and Kildare...

(Pair of doc's)

Submitter comment:

Val Zelnick. Heard long ago in grade-school. It is a way of remembering the word and its meaning, besides being a play on words.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs and BN added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Original BN [S300] crossed out. Nothing is written to replace it.

Submission card located in a pile marked To Be Classified.

Where learned: ELEMENTARY SCHOOL

Keyword(s): Doctors ; MNEMONIC ; Mnemonic Device ; PARADOX ; SATIRE OF DOCTORS ; Wit ; WORDPLAY

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Speech

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Entry filtered.

Ethnic Joke: Italian

Three Italian men are talking about their individual sons' success in America. One says to the other two: "My son Luigi, he go to America, he go to college, he becomes a lawyer, he earns $30,000.00 dollars a year!"

On of the other two guys replies "Oh, that's nothing! My son Josephie, he go to America, he go to college, he becomes a doctor, he earns $50,000.00 a year!"
 But the third guy replies "That's Nothing!"

"My Vincenti, he go to America, he doesn't go to college, and he earns $200,000.00 a year!" The other two ask in amazement, "But what does your son do?" He replies, "He's a sports-mechanic. He fixes football games, basketball games, baseball games..."

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs and BN added by TRD

James Callow comment:

The word Italian is written in the top left corner of the submission card.

Submission card was located in a pile marked To Be Classified.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ETHNIC JOKE HUMOR ; GAMBLING ; HUMOR ; Professions ; Stereotype

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- C566

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Custom/Belief

Belief, Custom - Planting:

On the feast day of St. Andrew everyone plants cucumbers to ensure a good planting season for the year.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Original BN [P535, F643] crossed out and replaced with F535

Where learned: HOME

Keyword(s): BELIEF ; Cucumbers ; CUSTOM ; HARVEST ; Offering ; PLANT VEGETABLE ; RELIGIOUS ; St. Andrew ; VEGETABLE

Subject headings: CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- F535

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Ethnic: Scottish

Never cut your fingernails on Sunday.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

The word Legend has been crossed out from the top of the card.

Original BN [P400, P644, P43, P880] have been crossed out/replaced with current classifications

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

Keyword(s): DAYS OF THE WEEK ; ETHNIC ; GROOMING ; Scotland ; SCOTTISH ; Superstition, Belief

Subject headings: CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Measure of time F574.5 (SUNDAY)
BELIEF -- Body part Senses
BELIEF -- Product or activity of man or animal

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Belief: Children

Wednesday's Child:

Wednesday's Child is full of woe.

Submitter comment:

(A person born on Wednesday is believed to be ill-fated through-out life.)

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): BIRTH ; Born ; CHILDREN ; DAYS OF THE WEEK ; DESTINY ; Destiny, Fate ; Wednesday ; WOE

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Birth
BELIEF -- Measure of time WeekDayHour
BELIEF -- Fate Destiny Luck Chance

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Entry filtered.

Ethnic: Newfoundland

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

Newfy:

A newfoundler was travelling on an airplane. While in flight one of the plane's four engines konked out. The pilot addressed himself to the passengers advising them not to worry because there were still three good engines.

A second engine konked out. The pilot again told the passengers not to worry because two engines would safely get the plane to the air-port. The third engine konked out. The pilot again told the passengers not to worry because they were nearing the airport and still had one good engine.

The fourth engine konked out. The Newfoundler lamented: "Damn, now we'll be in this airplane all day."

Submitter comment:

Informant found the joke amusing.

Informant found this quite amusing.

Data entry tech comment:

BN and Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Submission card located in pile marked [?]

Where learned: HOME

Keyword(s): Airplane ; ETHNIC ; HUMOR ; JOKE ; Newfoundland ; Offensive ; Pilot ; STUPIDITY

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman
Filter - Mature Content

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Entry filtered.

Ethnic Joke: Jewish

Irishman, Scotchman and Jew visiting dead friend in funeral parlor. Sign on dead man's chest says, "I'd like to take some money with me when I go." Irishman puts out $500. So does the Scotchman. Jew writes a $1500 check and takes the $1000 as change.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs and BN added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Original BN [B66] crossed out

Submission card located in pile marked [?]

Where learned: BUFFALO ; NEW YORK ; Collection

Keyword(s): AFTERLIFE ; BURIAL ; Dead ; Distasteful ; ETHNIC ; Funeral ; Irish ; Jewish ; JOKE ; MONEY ; Offensive ; Penny-pincher ; SCOTTISH ; Stereotype

James Callow Keyword(s): Jewish

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery

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Entry filtered.

Ethnic Joke: Black

Negro:

Excited negro bank bandit says "OK you mudder stickers, this is a fuck up."

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs and BN added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Submission card located in a pile marked [?]

Where learned: BUFFALO ; NEW YORK ; Collection

Keyword(s): Black ; DEROGATORY ; ETHNIC ; HUMOR ; Language ; NEGRO ; Offensive ; SLANG ; Stereotype ; TONGUE TWISTER

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery
Filter - Mature Content

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Entry filtered.

Ethnic Joke: Jewish

Descriptions of a Jewish Christmas Card: on the front it has a tree, and strung from the tree, instead of the usually bulbs [sic], it has 32 colored Matzo Balls, and on the top, instead of the star of Bethlehem, it has a Jewish star, not the star adavin [sic], but a picture of Sammy Davis Jr. or Liz Taylor, you can take your pick.

Submitter comment:

Sammy Davis Jr. and Liz Taylor are Jewish movie stars.

Data entry tech comment:

I believe that adavin is supposed to be "of David."

Motifs and BN added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Submission card located in pile marked [?]

Where learned: HOME ; MICHIGAN ; OAK PARK

Keyword(s): CHRISTMAS ; Decoration ; Distasteful ; ETHNIC ; Hollywood ; HUMOR ; Jewish ; JOKES ; Offensive ; Stereotype ; Tree

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery

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Ethnic Joke: Hollander

Hollander Joke:

When the Hollanders bury their dead, they bury them standing up with the top half sticking out of the grave. These are used as the tombstones.

Submitter comment:

This joke was told to me by a boy from Flanders.

Hollander jokes are typical in Belgium.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs and BN added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Written in the bottom left of the card: Does this imply that the Hollanders are cheap? A response in different handwriting (probably the collector's): YES!!

Where learned: BELGIUM

Keyword(s): BURIAL ; DEATH ; ETHNIC ; Funeral ; GRAVEYARD ; Headstones ; Holland ; Hollander ; Offensive ; Tasteless

James Callow Keyword(s): Hollander

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery

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Play on Words

Thrones:

IN darkest Africa one time, there were some wicked men who terrorized the natives of the various tribes by exploiting them for their valuables. In fact, these men would go to the chief's hut and steal his throne, because they were usually adorned with gold and diamonds and all sorts of other precious stones.

Well, the word got around to one particular chief that thesemen were coming to his village. Not wanting his throne stolen, he had it hidden up in the attic of his grass hut. When the wicked men arrived, they only found a plain wooden chair as a throne. Thinking that this was not a worthwhile village profitably, they decided to leave. All of a sudden, without warning, the ceiling gave out, and the chief's magnificent throne fell to the ground in front of everybody. discovering this prize, the men packed it up and left the king with no throne.

The moral of this story: People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

Submitter comment:

I heard this a few years ago, but I don't remember when. the informant has also slipped my mind. / I don't remember where or whom I heard this from.

Data entry tech comment:

Motif added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Original BN [S570] crossed out/replaced with current classification

Written underneath the BN: [Shaggy Dog - Pun Type]

Where learned: UNKNOWN

Keyword(s): DETECTION OF THIEF ; Fable ; JOKE ; PUN ; SHAGGY DOG STORY ; Throne ; WORD PLAY

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale

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