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ETHNIC JOKE
IN THE 1890'S AN IRISH IMMIGRANT GOT A JOB WITH A DEMOLITION
COMPANY. HIS FIRST JOB WAS ON A PROTESTANT CHURCH. HE WROTE TO
A FRIEND IN IRELAND, "I HAVE THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD, I AM
KNOCKING DOWN PROTESTANT CHRUCHES AND GETTING PAID FOR IT."
Where learned: FLORIDA ; KEY BISCAYNE
| Subject headings: | IRIS |
Date learned: 09-00-1981
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DRINKING JOKE
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
AN ENGLISHMAN ENTERED A BAR AND HEADED TOWARD THE BACK. THE
BARTENDER SAID, "HEY YOU, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" THE ENGLISHMAN
SAID, "I WOULD LIKE TO USE YOUR FACILITIES." THE BARTENDER SAID
"OH, YOU WANT TO TAKE A CRAP?" THE ENGLISHMAN REPLIED, "ON THE
CONTRARY OLD CHAP, I WANT TO LEAVE ONE."
Where learned: FLORIDA ; KEY BISCAYNE
| Subject headings: | Favorites PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 09-00-1981
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ETHNIC JOKE
SOMEONE SAID "THE DIRTY IRISH," AND A LISTENER ANSWERED, "THERE
IS SOME OTHER KIND?"
Where learned: FLORIDA ; KEY BISCAYNE
| Subject headings: | IRIS PROVERB -- Blason Populaire |
Date learned: 09-00-1981
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ETHNIC JOKE
ONE DAY PAT WAS TELLING A FRIEND THAT HE SAW THE BANSHEE DANCING IN
THE MOONLIGHT IN IRELAND. HIS FRIEND WOULD NOT BELIEVE HIM. PAT
SAID, "I'LL GET MIKE TO PROVE IT, HE WAS THERE." PAT SAID, "MIKE,
DIDN'T WE SEE THE BANSHEE DANCING IN THE MOONLIGHT AND WASN'T THERE
AT LEAST FIFTEEN HUNDRED OF THEM?" MIKE SAID, "WE CERTAINLY DID,
BUT WHY DID YOU SAY ONLY FIFTEEN HUNDRED, THERE WAS AT LEAST A
THOUSAND."
Where learned: FLORIDA ; KEY BISCAYNE
James Callow Keyword(s): STUPIDITY: INABILITY TO COUNT
| Subject headings: | Favorites IRIS |
Date learned: 09-00-1981
PROVERB
OF ALL MY WIFES RELATIONS, I LIKE MYSELF THE BEST.
Submitter comment:
MY GRANDFATHER ALWAYS SAID THIS IN FUN AND ALWAYS IN FRONT OF MY
GRANDMOTHER. HE ALWAYS LOVES TEASING HER.
Where learned: FLORIDA ; KEY BISCAYNE
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Apothegm Maxim |
Date learned: 09-00-1981
DRINKING JOKE
ALL OF US WERE AT THE BAR. I KNOW THERE WERE FIVE OF US DRINKING.
LET'S SEE: THE TWO MC CARTHYS WERE ONE, YOU WERE TWO, I WAS THREE,
O'BRIEN WAS FOUR, I KNOW THERE WERE FIVE DRINKS IN EVERY ROUND SO
WHO WAS THE FIFTH GUY? LET'S GO OVER IT AGAIN. THE TWO MC CARTHYS
WERE ONE, YOU WERE TWO, I WAS THREE, O'BRIEN WAS FOUR, I KNOW
THERE WERE FIVE DRINKS IN EVERY ROUND SO WHO WAS THE FIFTH GUY?
LET'S GO OVER IT AGAIN...........
Where learned: FLORIDA ; KEY BISCAYNE
James Callow Keyword(s): STUPIDITY: COUNTING TWO AS ONE
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 09-00-1981
SUPERSTITION
THREE KNOCKS ON THE DOOR MEANS THAT SOMEONE CLOSE IS GOING TO DIE.
Where learned: FLORIDA ; KEY BISCAYNE
| Subject headings: | Observation BELIEF -- Death Funeral Burial P546.1 |
Date learned: 09-00-1981
ETHNIC JOKE
EVERY AFTERNOON THREE IRISH WOMEN LEANED OUT THEIR FRONT WINDOWS
AND GOSSIPED AND WATCHED THE PASSING SCENE. A HOUSE OF ILL REPUTE
OPENED ACROSS THE STREET AND THE THREE WOMEN CONDEMNED EVERY MAN
THAT WENT IN. ONE DAY A MINISTER WENT IN AND THEY WERE AGHAST.
THEN A RABBI WENT IN AND THEY CONDEMNED HIM IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS.
THEN ONE DAY A PRIEST CAME ALONG AND WENT IN. MRS. O'BRIEN SAID,
"MY GOD, ONE OF THE GIRLS MUST BE AT DEATH'S DOOR)"
Where learned: FLORIDA ; KEY BISCAYNE
| Subject headings: | IRIS |
Date learned: 09-00-1981
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DRINKING JOKE
PAT WAS WALKING DOWN THE STREET ONE DAY AND FOUND A PIECE OF METAL IN THE STREET. IT LOOKED TO HIM LIKE A COIN. HE TOOK IT AND WENT TO A BAR. HE PUT IT ON THE BAR AND SAID "GIVE ME A BEER" THE BARTENDER PICKED IT UP AND THREW IT BACK AT HIM AND SAID "THAT'S TIN" PAT SAID "OH, IS IT TIN? I THOUGHT IT WAS 'FOIVE.' WELL THEN GIVE ME TWO BEERS."
Submitter comment:
IRISH DIALECT PRONUNCIATION
Where learned: FLORIDA ; KEY BISCAYNE
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman IRIS |
Date learned: 09-00-1981
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SCOTTISH JOKE
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
DID YOU HEAR THE STORY OF THE SCOTSMAN WHO BOUGHT A DRINK? YOU NEVER WILL EITHER
Submitter comment:
WHEN MY GRANDFATHER ASKS THIS QUESTION HE ALWAYS EXPECTS US TO ANSWER NO.
Where learned: FLORIDA ; KEY BISCAYNE
James Callow Keyword(s): SCOTTISH STINGINESS
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman SPEECH -- SCOT PROVERB -- Blason Populaire |
Date learned: 09-00-1981
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ETHNIC JOKE
THREE LITTLE BOYS WERE MAKING MUD FACES ON THE SIDEWALK. A MAN
PASSING BY ASKED THE BOYS WHAT THEY WERE MAKING. ONE BOY SAID HE WAS MAKING AN ENGLISHMAN, THE OTHER WAS MAKING A GERMAN, AND THE
OTHER WAS MAKING A FRENCHMAN. THE MAN ASKED THE BOY, "WHY DON'T
YOU MAKE AN IRISHMAN?" ONE BOY REPLIED, "THE MUD ISN'T THICK
ENOUGH."
Where learned: FLORIDA ; KEY BISCAYNE
| Subject headings: | IRIS |
Date learned: 09-00-1981
DEATH JOKE
PAT WENT TO A WAKE AND PUT HIS HAND ON THE DECEASED. HE JUMPED
UP AND SAID, "MY GOD MARG, HE IS STILL WARM}" MARG SAID, "HOT OR
COLD HIS IS GOING OUT AT TEN A.M. TOMORROW MORNING."
Where learned: FLORIDA ; KEY BISCAYNE
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 09-00-1981
DEATH JOKE
PAT WAS SENT TO BREAK THE NEWS TO MRS. MURPHY THAT HER HUSBAND WAS
KILLED ON THE JOB. HE HAD PUT THE BODY IN A TRUNK. TRYING TO
BREAK THE NEWS GENTLY HE SAID, "DOES THE WIDOW MURPHY LIVE HERE?"
SHE SAID "I AM MRS. MURPHY AND I'LL HAVE YOU UNDERSTAND I AM NO
WIDOW." PAT SAID "OH, YOU'RE NOT HEY?" WELL WAIT TILL YOU SEE
WHAT I HAVE OUT HERE IN THE TRUNK}"
Where learned: FLORIDA ; KEY BISCAYNE
| Subject headings: | Favorites PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 09-00-1981
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ETHNIC JOKE
WHEN COLUMBUS LANDED HE HAD THE HONOR OF BEING THE FIRST TO STEP
ASHORE. AS HE STEPPED ONTO THE BEACH HE NOTICED SOME INDIANS
HIDING BEHIND TREES AND WATCHING HIM. HE KNEW THE FIRST RULE FOR AN
EXPLORER WAS TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE NATIVES. SO HE GAVE THE
STRAIGHT ARM SALUTE AND SAID "HI, BISON, COMO STA?" ONE INDIAN
LOOKED AT ANOTHER AND SAID, "HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT? NOW WE HAVE TO
MOVE AGAIN, THIS NEIGHBORHOOD IS GOING TO POT."
Where learned: FLORIDA ; KEY BISCAYNE
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 09-00-1981
CATHOLIC JOKE
A CIRCUS PERFORMER WENT TO CONFESSION TO A PRIEST WHO LOVED THE
CIRCUS BUT COULD NOT GET THERE THIS TIME AROUND. THE PERFORMER
TOLD THE PRIEST ABOUT SOME NEW CARTWHEELS AND HANDSTANDS THEY WERE
DOING. HE OFFERED TO SHOW THE PRIEST IN THE CENTER AISLE. HE DID
SO WHILE THE PRIEST WATCHED FROM THE CONFESSIONAL. MRS. O'BRIEN,
WAITING TO GO TO CONFESSION, SAID TO MRS. KELLY," MOTHER OF GOD,
LOOK AT THE PENANCE FR. FLANIGAN IS HANDING OUT AND ME WITH NO
BLOOMERS ON."
Where learned: FLORIDA ; KEY BISCAYNE
| Subject headings: | Favorites PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 09-00-1981
EVENTS
IN THE GREAT DEPRESSION, 1931-36, MANY PEOPLE COMMITTED SUICIDE.
IF YOU WENT TO REGISTER IN A HOTEL AND ASKED FOR A HIGH FLOOR, THE
CLERK WOULD ASK, "DO YOU WANT IT FOR SLEEPING OR JUMPING?"
Where learned: FLORIDA ; KEY BISCAYNE
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Explanation of a name SPEECH -- Formula |
Date learned: 09-00-1981