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PAT AND MIKE STORY
PAT AND MIKE NEVER WENT TO THE COUNTRY. THEY WERE CITY SLICKERS. THEY
WENT TO THE COUNTRY ONE DAY AND MET A FARMER. THEY HAD NEVER BEEN
SWIMMING AND DECIDED TO TRY IT. THEY ASKED THE FARMER WHERE THEY
COULD GO SWIMMING. THE FARMER SAID TO WALK ABOUT A MILE DOWN THE ROAD
AND THERE WOULD BE A BIG GREEN LAKE. PAT AND MIKE WALKED ABOUT HALF A
MILE AND SAW A BIG GREEN PASTURE. THEY THOUGHT IT WAS THE LAKE. PAT
TOLD MIKE TO GO FIRST AND TELL HIM HOW IT FEELS. MIKE GOT ON THE
FENCE AND DOVE IN AND HIT HIS HEAD. PAT ASKED HOW IT FELT. MIKE SAID
"I DON'T KNOW BUT I THINK YOU BETTER DIVE A LITTLE TO THE RIGHT,
I HIT A SAND BAR."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Sterling Heights
James Callow Keyword(s): OUTLANDER
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman IRIS |
Date learned: 11-15-1973
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IT SEEMS PAT WAS WATCHING A PARADE OF THE KLU-KLUX-KLAN
AND HE WAS DISMAYED WHEN HE SAW HIS FRIEND MIKE STRAGGLING
ALONG AT THE TAIL END OF THE PARADE, SMILING AND WAVING
TO THE ON-LOOKERS.
LATER ON, WHEN PAT SAW MIKE AT THE BAR, HE ASKED HIM HOW
HE CAME TO BE IN A KKK PARADE. MIKE SAID, "PAT, THERE
IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE KKK. IN FACT, THEY ARE A
GREAT BUNCH OF BOYS. AND YOU, PAT, WE'VE HAD THEM ALL
WRONG. THEY ARE NOT AGAINST US IRISH CATHOLICS. THEY
ARE NOT EVEN AMERICAN CATHOLICS. THEY REALLY ARE ONLY
AGAINST THEM DAMNED ROMAN CATHOLICS!"
Submitter comment:
THE INFORMANT, A RETIRED DETROIT CITY FIREMAN, WAS BORN
IN THIS COUNTRY OF IRISH IMMIGRANT STOCK.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | IRIS |
Date learned: 02-25-1967
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ETHNIC JOKE
THREE LITTLE BOYS WERE MAKING MUD FACES ON THE SIDEWALK. A MAN
PASSING BY ASKED THE BOYS WHAT THEY WERE MAKING. ONE BOY SAID HE WAS MAKING AN ENGLISHMAN, THE OTHER WAS MAKING A GERMAN, AND THE
OTHER WAS MAKING A FRENCHMAN. THE MAN ASKED THE BOY, "WHY DON'T
YOU MAKE AN IRISHMAN?" ONE BOY REPLIED, "THE MUD ISN'T THICK
ENOUGH."
Where learned: FLORIDA ; KEY BISCAYNE
| Subject headings: | IRIS |
Date learned: 09-00-1981
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DRINKING JOKE
PAT WAS WALKING DOWN THE STREET ONE DAY AND FOUND A PIECE OF METAL IN THE STREET. IT LOOKED TO HIM LIKE A COIN. HE TOOK IT AND WENT TO A BAR. HE PUT IT ON THE BAR AND SAID "GIVE ME A BEER" THE BARTENDER PICKED IT UP AND THREW IT BACK AT HIM AND SAID "THAT'S TIN" PAT SAID "OH, IS IT TIN? I THOUGHT IT WAS 'FOIVE.' WELL THEN GIVE ME TWO BEERS."
Submitter comment:
IRISH DIALECT PRONUNCIATION
Where learned: FLORIDA ; KEY BISCAYNE
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman IRIS |
Date learned: 09-00-1981
ETHNIC JOKE
EVERY AFTERNOON THREE IRISH WOMEN LEANED OUT THEIR FRONT WINDOWS
AND GOSSIPED AND WATCHED THE PASSING SCENE. A HOUSE OF ILL REPUTE
OPENED ACROSS THE STREET AND THE THREE WOMEN CONDEMNED EVERY MAN
THAT WENT IN. ONE DAY A MINISTER WENT IN AND THEY WERE AGHAST.
THEN A RABBI WENT IN AND THEY CONDEMNED HIM IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS.
THEN ONE DAY A PRIEST CAME ALONG AND WENT IN. MRS. O'BRIEN SAID,
"MY GOD, ONE OF THE GIRLS MUST BE AT DEATH'S DOOR)"
Where learned: FLORIDA ; KEY BISCAYNE
| Subject headings: | IRIS |
Date learned: 09-00-1981
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ETHNIC JOKE
ONE DAY PAT WAS TELLING A FRIEND THAT HE SAW THE BANSHEE DANCING IN
THE MOONLIGHT IN IRELAND. HIS FRIEND WOULD NOT BELIEVE HIM. PAT
SAID, "I'LL GET MIKE TO PROVE IT, HE WAS THERE." PAT SAID, "MIKE,
DIDN'T WE SEE THE BANSHEE DANCING IN THE MOONLIGHT AND WASN'T THERE
AT LEAST FIFTEEN HUNDRED OF THEM?" MIKE SAID, "WE CERTAINLY DID,
BUT WHY DID YOU SAY ONLY FIFTEEN HUNDRED, THERE WAS AT LEAST A
THOUSAND."
Where learned: FLORIDA ; KEY BISCAYNE
James Callow Keyword(s): STUPIDITY: INABILITY TO COUNT
| Subject headings: | Favorites IRIS |
Date learned: 09-00-1981
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ETHNIC JOKE
SOMEONE SAID "THE DIRTY IRISH," AND A LISTENER ANSWERED, "THERE
IS SOME OTHER KIND?"
Where learned: FLORIDA ; KEY BISCAYNE
| Subject headings: | IRIS PROVERB -- Blason Populaire |
Date learned: 09-00-1981
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ETHNIC JOKE
IN THE 1890'S AN IRISH IMMIGRANT GOT A JOB WITH A DEMOLITION
COMPANY. HIS FIRST JOB WAS ON A PROTESTANT CHURCH. HE WROTE TO
A FRIEND IN IRELAND, "I HAVE THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD, I AM
KNOCKING DOWN PROTESTANT CHRUCHES AND GETTING PAID FOR IT."
Where learned: FLORIDA ; KEY BISCAYNE
| Subject headings: | IRIS |
Date learned: 09-00-1981
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AN IRISHMAN WAS RETURNING TO HIS HOTEL AFTER HAVING ONE
TOO MANY AT A PARTY. HE STUMBLED INTO THE LOBBY, MUMBLED
A GOOD-NIGHT TO THE NIGHT CLERK, AND WENT UP THE STAIRS TO
HIS ROOM.
A MINUTE LATER HE STUMBLED BACK INTO THE LOBBY AND ASKED
THE NIGHT CLERK FOR THE KEY TO HIS ROOM. THE CLERK SAID THAT
HE HAD JUST GIVEN HIM THE KEY EARLIER THAT DAY.
"YES YOU DID," AGREED THE IRISHMAN. "AND I JUST USED IT
TO GET INTO MY ROOM. AND I'M SO BLIND DRUNK I FELL OUT OF
THE WINDOW!"
Submitter comment:
I HEARD THIS JOKE SOMETIME DURING SCHOOL. I CAN'T REMEMBER
WHO TOLD ME.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote IRIS |
Date learned: 00-00-1981
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Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
What is the difference between an Irish funeral and an Irish
wedding? One less drunk.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROSEVILLE ; from a friend
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman IRIS |