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JOKE
OLD REFRIGERATORS NEVER DIE, THEY JUST LOSE THEIR COOL.
James Callow comment: TO "LOSE YOUR COOL" IS SLANG FOR LOSE YOUR APLOMB OR COMPOSURE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): PARODY OF PROVERB
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor PROVERB -- Proverbial Apothegm Maxim |
Date learned: 00-00-1984
I HEARD THE STORY FROM SOMEWHERE, I DON'T RECALL WHERE, ABOUT
THE GIRL WHO WAS RUN OVER BY A TRUCK ON THE STREET CALLED
STRASBURG IN DETROIT. NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES THAT STREET
HAS BEEN RESURFACED YOU CAN STILL HEAR THE GIRL POUNDING
UNDERNEATH YOUR CAR AS YOU DRIVE DOWN THAT STREET BECAUSE
WHEN SHE WAS RUN OVER SHE WAS TRAPPED BENEATH THE TRUCK AND
WITNESSES SAW HER POUNDING AND SCREAMING UNDERNEATH THE TRUCK
AS THE TRUCK DRAGGED HER DOWN THE STREET.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Keyword(s): GHOSTLY SOUNDS FROM SCENE OF ACCIDENT
James Callow Keyword(s): KNOCK-KNOCK STREET
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Ghost Spirit Phantom Specter BELIEF -- Product or activity of man or animal |
"O'LEARY'S BAR"
'TWAS A COLD WINTER'S EVENING.
THE GUESTS WERE ALL LEAVING.
O'LEARY WAS CLOSING THE BAR,
WHEN HE TURNED AND HE SAID TO THE LADY IN RED,
"GET OUT! YOU CAN'T STAY HERE NO MORE."
SHE WEPT A SAD TEAR IN HER BUCKET OF BEER
AS SHE THOUGHT OF THE COLD NIGHT AHEAD,
WHEN A GENTLEMAN DAPPER STEPPED OUT OF THE PHONE BOOTH
AND THESE ARE THE WORDS THAT HE SAID:
"YOUR MOTHER NEVER TOLD YOU
THE THINGS A YOUNG GIRL SHOULD KNOW
ABOUT THE WAYS OF COLLEGE MEN AND HOW THEY COME AND GO--
MOSTLY GO!!!!!"
NOW AGE HAS TAKEN HER BEAUTY
AND SIN HAS LEFT ITS SAD SCAR.
SO, REMEMBER YOUR MOTHERS AND SISTERS, BOYS,
AND LET HER SLEEP UNDER THE BAR
NEXT TO THE GIN,
WITH HIRAM WALKER,
IN SOUTHERN COMFORT.
AND THERE WAS GRANNY SWINGING ON THE OUTHOUSE DOOR
WITHOUT HER NIGHTIE
AND GRANDPA YELLING, "MORE, MORE, MORE!"
SHE WORE PAJAMAS.
Submitter comment:
WHEN THIS IS SUNG BY MEMBERS OF KAPPA BETA GAMMA SORORITY, THE
PARTS OF THE "LADY IN RED" AND THE "GENTLEMAN DAPPER" ARE
ACTED OUT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): PUN ON BRAND NAMES OF ALCOHOLIC DRINKS
| Subject headings: | Shadow / Pantomime Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ballad, Song, Verse Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Social reunion |
Date learned: 09-00-1985
WHEN WE DRINK, WE GET DRUNK.
WHEN WE GET DRUNK, WE GO TO SLEEP.
WHEN WE GO TO SLEEP, WE COMMIT NO SIN.#
WHEN WE COMMIT NO SIN, WE GO TO HEAVEN
SO LET'S ALL GET DRUNK AND GO TO HEAVEN.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): CHAIN OF REASONING ; HUMOR ; SYLLOGISM
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Apothegm Maxim |
IN AFGHANISTAN, THE VARIOUS MOUNTAIN TRIBES PLAY A
POPULAR GAME. THE GAME GOES LIKE THIS.
THE MEN OF THE TRIBE, MOUNTED ON HORSEBACK, ARE EQUIPPED
WITH POLES THAT HAVE A LONG BLADE ON THE END. WHILE ON
HORSEBACK, THEY MUST KILL A YOUNG CALF WITH THEIR POLES
AND CUT OFF THE HEAD. THEN THEY MUST ROLL THE HEAD OF THE
CALF FROM ONE END OF THE FIELD TO THE OTHER, AND THEN
BACK AGAIN TO WHERE THEY STARTED. THE ONE IN POSSESSION
OF THE HEAD AT THIS POINT WINS THE GAME.
Submitter comment:
SINCE THE SOVIET INVASION OF AFGHANISTAN, THE AFGHANIS
NOW USE CAPTURED SOVIET POW'S FOR THIS GAME INSTEAD OF
THEIR CATTLE, WHICH THEY FEEL THAT THEY MUST CONSERVE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): BEHEADING ; SEVERED HEAD OF HUMAN USED AS BALL ; WAR PRISONERS
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Special Object or Implement CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- War |
Date learned: 08-00-1987
WHY DID THE BLACK MAN WEAR A TUXEDO TO HIS VASECTOMY?
ANSWER. IF I'M GONNA BE IMPOTENT I MIGHT AS WELL LOOK
IMPOTENT.
Submitter comment:
I GOT THIS JOKE FROM THE MOVIE "SOUL MAN." IT WAS TOLD
BY TWO WHITE GUYS IN FRONT OF A BLACK GUY TO MAKE HIM
FEEL BAD.
Where learned: HOME ; MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Keyword(s): IMPOTENT- USED INSTEAD OF THE WORD IMPORTANT TO MAKE ; THE BLACK MAN'S SPEECH SEEM BAD.
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- BLAC |
Date learned: 10-00-1987
JAIN BUDDHISTS DON'T EAT MEALS AFTER SUNSET FOR FEAR THAT THEY
WILL EAT GERMS AND SIN.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SOUTHFIELD
Keyword(s): JAIN IS A CLASS OF BUDDHISTS
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Measure of time Eating For menu, see N222. |
Date learned: 00-00-1967
Some people say that a man of dark color is crazy about a
high yellow, but high yellow will throw you, and when
you come home, there will be another mule kicking in your
stall. A brown skin girl is the best gal after all.
Where learned: VIRGINIA
James Callow Keyword(s): African-American color of skin
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Body part Senses BELIEF -- Color SPEECH -- Formula |
Date learned: 00-00-1939
IT'S NOT THE COUGH THAT CARRIES YOU OFF;
IT'S THE COFFIN THEY CARRY YOU OFF IN.
Submitter comment:
TOLD TO THE INFORMANT BY HER FATHER, WHENEVER SHE HAD
A BAD COLD.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Keyword(s): VIRUS
James Callow Keyword(s): HUMOR ; PUN ON COUGHING, COFFIN
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Apothegm Maxim |
326 Youth Who Wanted to Learn What Fear Is
There once was a little girl that claimed she was very
brave, and wasn't afraid of anything. So one day her
brothers dared her to go to the grave yard to steal a
tombstone and bring it back to show them. The little girl
did indeed go to the graveyard to get that tombstone but
never returned. What everyone says that happened was that as
she was putting her dress over the stone to carry it out the
stone fell on her dress and pulled her down. Of course the
little girl thought that the spirit of the grave was tugging
on her dress, and she was so scared that she died right there
on the spot.
Where learned: IOWA ; Des Moines
James Callow Keyword(s): dying of fright ; FEAR TEST
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Magic |
Date learned: 00-00-1910
It was the custom of young Cuban boys who were trying
to prove their manhood to dive into the waters of Havana
Harbor,near the old prison, and ride the sharks. It was
said that the sharks frequented the harbor because political
prisoners were placed in an underwater dungeon to be eaten
by the sharks.
Submitter comment:
This need to confront death and danger in order to establish
"machismo" is also seen in such activities as bullfighting.
This story was told to Carmen by her father, Gustavo Sebastian
Albore', who was very proud that he had been brave enough to
ride the sharks. Gustavo was proud also of his Castillian
Spanish parents, since in his mind, to be "Cuban"
meant to be black. He always, therefore, referred to himself
as "Castillian" whenever someone asked him his nationality.
Where learned: NEW YORK ; NEW ROCHELLE
Keyword(s): Courage, test, Hispanic, rite-of-passage
| Subject headings: | Favorites CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Maturity |
Date learned: 00001930S
"INCHY PINCHY"
This practical joke begins when one person convinces
another (usually a younger/naive) person that they are
going to be initiated into a special group. The "initiate"
is taken into a darkened room, with perhaps only a candle
for a light, and seated on the floor. Others come into the
room (quietly and reverentially) and seat themselves in
a circle, in which the "initiate" is included. (Everyone
but the person who is the target of the joke is a co-conspirator.)
After everyone is seated in a circle, the
leader (seated next to the victim) announces that the
ceremony is about to begin. He instructs the "initiate"
to copy his motions exactly, doing to his neighbor what
is done to him. The leader, then, reaches out and grabs
the victim's cheek and gently pulls on it, saying
solemnly, "Inchy Pinchy." This should be intoned slowly--
"In...chy Pin...chy." The victim pulls the cheek of
the person next to him and does likewise, and the motion is
passed around the circle. Again the leader reaches out
and grabs another part of the victim's face, perhaps the
forehead or nose, and says "Inchy Pinchy." Again the
motion is passed around the circle. This continues as
many times as the leader wants. When the "ritual" is
over, the victim is instructed to look in the mirror to
verify how the ceremony has transformed him. When he
does so, he realizes that each time the leader touched
his face, that he had been smeared with lipstick (or any
other substance that can be concealed in the hand). At the
moment of realization everyone shouts "INCHY PINCHY!"
Submitter comment:
This was a joke I learned at a slumber party when I was
in seventh grade. My older brother and I successfully
played it on my younger brother, Greg, who reminded me
of it when I asked for any possible folklore items,
especially children's songs/games. A copy of a story he
wrote about this experience has been submitted as
supplementary material.
Where learned: OHIO ; COLUMBUS
Keyword(s): Humor, trick, mock rite-of-passage
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Initiation rite Hazing |
Date learned: 00001965CA
RIDDLE
WHAT IS IT THAT BALD-HEADED FOLKS HAVE NO NEED FOR?
KEYS, BECAUSE THEY HAVEN'T ANY LOCKS.
Where learned: NEW YORK CITY ; NEW YORK
James Callow Keyword(s): LOCKS OF HAIR - PUN
| Subject headings: | RIDDLE -- True Riddle |
Content filter on this entry.
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
This guy wants to marry this girl so he goes to
ask her father's permission. The father says to
the guy "I think there is something about my
daughter that you should know. She has acute
angina." The guy replied, "I realize that and her
tits ain't bad either!"
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; LENNON
Keyword(s): Heart disease
James Callow Keyword(s): Confusion of angina and vagina
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Body part Senses PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 00-00-1984
If two people say the same thing at the same time
you should hook your little fingers and make a
wish.
Submitter comment:
Informant says she has been practicing this since
she was a little girl.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Keyword(s): Simultaneity of speech
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Body part Senses BELIEF -- Product or activity of man or animal BELIEF -- Prayer SPEECH -- Gesture SPEECH -- Wishes Wants Desires Predictions |
Date learned: 00001950S
IN THE STATE OF MICHIGAN, THE PEOPLE LIVING IN THE
LOWER PENINSULA HOLD UP THEIR RIGHT OR LEFT HAND
LIKE A MITTEN AND POINT TO THE PLACE ON THEIR HAND
WHICH SHOWS THE LOCATION OF THE CITY IN WHICH
THEY LIVE.(POINT TO THE PALM ON THE RIGHT HAND OR
BACKHAND OF THE LEFT.)
Submitter comment:
THE LOWER PENINSULA OF THE STATE OF MICHIGAN LOOKS
LIKE A MITTEN.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SAGINAW
James Callow Keyword(s): GEOGRAPHY OF A STATE
| Subject headings: | Favorites SPEECH -- Gesture |
Date learned: 00001970S
"On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball, when somebody sneezed.
It rolled off the table, and onto the floor,
And then my poor meatball, rolled right out the door.
It rolled in the garden, and under a bush,
And then my poor meatball, was nothing but mush."
Where learned: NEW YORK ; Kenmore
James Callow Keyword(s): Parody of "On Top Of Old Smokey"
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery |
Date learned: 00001973 ca.
If yo tink yo bundle of dirty clothes too heavy, try
picking up yo neighbor's own.
Submitter comment:
People always believe that they have the worst of everything
until they realize that other people have problems too.
Where learned: VIRGIN ISLANDS ; Saint Thomas
Keyword(s): tink = think ; yo = you or your
James Callow Keyword(s): Advice -- Positive ; Metaphor: problems = bundle of clothes ; RELATIVITY ; WEIGHT
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: 02-00-1991
It is bad luck to let your tears fall on the face of the dead.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; 48221
James Callow Keyword(s): Coffin ; Corpse ; Crying taboo ; Tabu = taboo
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Product or activity of man or animal BELIEF -- Death Funeral Burial BELIEF -- Bad luck |
Date learned: 03-00-1991
Festival of the Star
The Christmas Eve events in Poland are called the "Festival of
the Stars." This Festival begins when the young children see the
first star that evening. The mother has a white table cloth on
the table with small amounts of straw on it to symbolize the
Bethlehem stable in which Jesus was born. After the first star is
seen by the small children, the mother puts out the food. But
before anyone eats the dinner the family says a prayer of
Thanksgiving and the father passes out small wafers with religious
pictures stamped on them. These wafers have been blessed by the
priest. Those present at the dinner wish each other good health
and happiness and share the wafers with each of the others. One
at a time you go up to another member of the family, wish the
other family member good health and happiness and then break off a
small portion of their wafer and eat it. The special dinner
consists of borscht soup (beet soup) or duck soup, fish (it is a
pike fish with saffron and raisins in it), pierogi, sauerkraut,
mushrooms, nuts and kolatchi cookies (these are cookies made of a
sugar dough which is wrapped around a fruit jam in the middle).
One place setting is left vacant for either the Christ child or an
unexpected guest. This is significant of Mary and Joseph's search
for a place to stay when Mary was to give birth to Jesus. Since
there was no place for them to stay, not even in the inn, this
place guarantees a place for them. After supper, the Christmas
tree is lit, and Polish Christmas carols are sung. The star man
comes to the house and asks the children about religion and tests
their catechism knowledge. Three boys dressed as the Three Wise
Men carry a lit star into the room singing Polish Christmas carols
and bring presents to the children. The children do not believe
in Santa Claus; they receive their presents from the Three Wise
Men, only if they answer the religious questions posed by the star
man correctly. Sometimes men would also dress up to be a camel
and accompany the Three Wise Men in their entrance into the home.
At midnight, the families attend the midnight mass which they call
"Pasterka" or in English, "Shepherd's Mass." The church is
decorated with the manger scene throughout the Christmas season.
On January 6, "The Day of the Three Kings," the Christmas season
is over.
Submitter comment:
Many of the activities listed in this Polish Christmas were
practiced by both her mother and father when they lived in Poland.
The Polish Christmas dinner, Christmas Carols, and the tree
decorating are still practiced in the family. Also the family
attends the "Shepherd's Mass" each year.
Where learned: POLAND
Keyword(s): Festival of the Star
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- School |
Date learned: 00-00-1950