"O'LEARY'S BAR"

'TWAS A COLD WINTER'S EVENING.
THE GUESTS WERE ALL LEAVING.
O'LEARY WAS CLOSING THE BAR,
WHEN HE TURNED AND HE SAID TO THE LADY IN RED,
"GET OUT! YOU CAN'T STAY HERE NO MORE."
SHE WEPT A SAD TEAR IN HER BUCKET OF BEER
AS SHE THOUGHT OF THE COLD NIGHT AHEAD,
WHEN A GENTLEMAN DAPPER STEPPED OUT OF THE PHONE BOOTH
AND THESE ARE THE WORDS THAT HE SAID:
"YOUR MOTHER NEVER TOLD YOU
THE THINGS A YOUNG GIRL SHOULD KNOW
ABOUT THE WAYS OF COLLEGE MEN AND HOW THEY COME AND GO--
MOSTLY GO!!!!!"
NOW AGE HAS TAKEN HER BEAUTY
AND SIN HAS LEFT ITS SAD SCAR.
SO, REMEMBER YOUR MOTHERS AND SISTERS, BOYS,
AND LET HER SLEEP UNDER THE BAR
NEXT TO THE GIN,
WITH HIRAM WALKER,
IN SOUTHERN COMFORT.
AND THERE WAS GRANNY SWINGING ON THE OUTHOUSE DOOR
WITHOUT HER NIGHTIE
AND GRANDPA YELLING, "MORE, MORE, MORE!"
SHE WORE PAJAMAS.

Submitter comment: WHEN THIS IS SUNG BY MEMBERS OF KAPPA BETA GAMMA SORORITY, THE
PARTS OF THE "LADY IN RED" AND THE "GENTLEMAN DAPPER" ARE
ACTED OUT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN ON BRAND NAMES OF ALCOHOLIC DRINKS

Date learned: 09-00-1985