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PUERTO RICO SINNER AND PRIEST TALE
THERE WAS A MAN ONCE IN PUERTO RICO WHO ALWAYS THROUGHT
HE'D LIKE TO ENGAGE IN SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH A PIG.
ONE DAY, HE WAS PASSING A PIG FARM WHEN THE TEMPTATION
BECAME JUST TOO GREAT. HE RAN AS FAST AS HE COULD TO
THE FENCE OF THE PEN AND DOVE IN. BUT THE SPACE WAS
TOO SMALL AND HE GOT CAUGHT. THE FARMER ROUGHLY
THREW HIM OFF HIS LAND. WELL, A LITTLE LATER, HE
BEGAN TO FEEL GUILTY, AND SO HE DECIDED TO GO TO
CHURCH. HE GOT INTO THE CONFESSIONAL AT THE CATHOLIC
CHURCH AND ASKED THE PRIEST IF HE THOUGHT HE HAD
COMMITTED A SIN, SINCE HE DID NOT ACTUALLY HAVE
RELATIONS WITH THE PIGS. THE PRIEST SAID, WHY YES,
THERE WAS A SIN INVOLVED. SO THE SINNER REACHED IN
HIS POCKET A PULLED OUT A LARGE COIN AND SAID TO THE
PRIEST THAT HE WOULD LIKE TO GIVE IT TO THE CHURCH
FOR PENANCE. "LET ME SLIP IT THROUGH THE
CONFESSIONAL SCREEN, AND GIVE IT TO YOU FATHER,"
HE SAID. BUT THE COIN JUST BARELY DID NOT FIT.
THE PRIEST SAID FOR THE MAN TO COME AROUND AND GIVE
IT TO HIM. BUT THE SINNER QUICKLY SAID, "OH, BUT
FATHER, THE INTENT WAS THERE JUST AS YOU A WHILE AGO
SAID TO ME. THEREFORE, IT'S JUST AS THOUGH I GAVE IT
TO YOU."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man |
Date learned: 10-00-1968
THE HOBBY
A TEACHER WAS HAVING TROUBLE WITH A YOUNG BOY IN HER
CLASS. SHE FELT THAT HE NEEDED PSYCHIATRIC HELP
BECAUSE HE WAS APPARENTLY A MISFIT AMONG HIS
CLASSMATES. SHE DECIDED TO WORK WITH HIM HERSELF,
AND TRIED DIFFERENT WAYS TO AROUSE HIS INTEREST IN
SOME HOBBY. BUT THIS WAS QUITE A CHALLENGE BECAUSE
HE WASN'T VERY RESPONSIVE TO HER IDEAS.
ONE DAY SHE NOTICED HIM OBSERVING A FLY WITH
CONSIDERABLE FASCINATION. SHE ASKED HIM IF HE THOUGHT
HE MIGHT LIKE TO LOOK INTO THE STUDY OF INSECTS
AND MAKE A PRESENTATION TO THE CLASS IN THREE WEEKS.
THE BOY THOUGHT THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD, SO HE WENT TO
THE LIBRARY TO READ UP ON THE ART OF COLLECTING
INSECTS AS A HOBBY.
AT THE END OF THE FIRST WEEK, THE TEACHER ASKED HIM HOW
HE WAS GETTING ALONG WITH HIS READING AND HIS HOBBY.
HE SAID HE WAS HAVING A VERY HARD TIME UNDERSTANDING
ONE OF THE BOOKS HE HAD TAKEN OUT OF THE LIBRARY.
BUT THE TEACHER ENCOURAGED HIM TO CONTINUE READING
AND SAID HE WOULD PROBABLY FIND IT MORE INTERESTING
AS HE WENT ALONG.
THE SECOND WEEK THE BOY STILL COULDN'T GET IT.
BUT THE TEACHER REMINDED HIM THAT HE STILL HAD A WEEK
BEFORE HE HAD TO PRESENT HIS TALK.
WELL, THE THIRD WEEK AND THE DAY OF THE PRESENTATION
APPROACHED, THE BOY CONFESSED THAT HE STILL HADN'T
FINISHED THE BOOK, SO THE TEACHER TOLD HIM TO BRING
IT IN SO SHE COULD SEE IT.
HE BROUGHT IN THE BOOK AND THE TEACHER READ THE
TITLE: ADVICE FOR EXPECTANT MOTH-ERS.
Submitter comment:
MY SISTER TOLD US THIS STORY WHEN MY HUSBAND AND I
HAD DINNER AT MY PARENTS' HOME IN DEARBORN, MICHIGAN,
SHE HAD HEARD IT FROM SISTER MARTIN, OF THE UNIVERSITY
OF DETROIT FACULTY, ABOUT TWO WEEKS BEFORE--ABOUT
APRIL 1.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
A POLISH JUMP STORY
IN A BLACK, BLACK TOWN, THERE WAS A BLACK, BLACK
STREET. ON THIS BLACK, BLACK STREET, THERE WAS A BLACK,
BLACK HOUSE. IN THIS BLACK, BLACK HOUSE, THERE WAS A
BLACK, BLACK TABLE. ON THE BLACK, BLACK TABLE, THERE
WAS A BLACK, BLACK HAND. AND THIS BLACK, BLACK
HAND WAS A ......CORPSE!!
Submitter comment:
THIS STORY IS TOLD VERY SLOWLY FOR BEST EFFECTS.
THE WORD USED IN POLISH IS "BLACK" BUT THE
IMPLICATION IS "DARK."
MY MOTHER KNOWS THIS STORY FROM HER CHILDHOOD
IN POLAND.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 11-27-1967
A TALE OF TALKING ANIMALS
IN POLAND, IT IS BELIEVED THAT FARM ANIMALS WILL TALK
ON CHRISTMAS EVE. A FARMER ONCE SNUCK INTO HIS
BARN TO HEAR THEM. HE OVERHEARD HIS COW SAYING THAT
THE FOLLOWING MORNING ALL THE ANIMALS WILL BE IN A
FUNERAL PROCESSION FOR THEIR OWNER. THE FARMER GOT SO
SCARED WHEN HE HEARD THIS, HE DROPPED DEAD. THIS
IS A POPULAR BELIEF IN POLAND.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man |
Date learned: 10-22-1967
I AM A MEMBER OF THE S.B.E.B.S.Q.S.A.,INC., A BARBERSHOP
QUARTET SOCIETY. THE INFORMANT TOLD THIS STORY TO A
GROUP OF BARBERSHOPPERS.
IT SEEMS THAT ONE OF OUR MEMBERS HAD BEEN DEVOTING MUCH
OF HIS TIME TO THE SOCIETY. IN FACT, HIS LIFE REVOLVED
AROUND ALL THE FUNCTIONS THAT OUR SOCIETY PERFORMS. HE
BELONGED TO A REGISTERED QUARTET, DIRECTED A CHORUS, WAS
THE LOCAL PRESIDENT AND PROGRAM CHAIRMAN.
ONE NIGHT, HE WAS OUT ESPECIALLY LATE WORKING ON A NEW
ARRANGEMENT. HE LEFT THE PRACTICE HALL AND ON THE WAY
TO HIS CAR, HE WAS ACCOSTED BY THREE MEN. THEY BEAT
HIM VICIOUSLY, KICKING HIM TIME AND TIME AGAIN. AFTER
HE WAS UNCONSCIOUS, THEY ROBBED HIM OF FIFTY DOLLARS.
HE WOKE UP ABOUT AN HOUR LATER, BLOODY, DISORIENTED, AND
SORE. HE MANAGED TO REACH INTO HIS POCKET AND PULLED
OUT HIS PITCHPIPE AND BLEW A "B FLAT" AND YELLED "HELP."
(RIGHT ON KEY).
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale |
Date learned: 02-20-1967
GIRLS ARE BASICALLY SUPPRESSED:
A) IN OLDEN TIMES THE WARRIOR CHIEF WAS THE PROTECTOR
OF PEOPLE AND THE FEMALES ONLY WERE TO BEAR PEOPLE.
B) HERMITS AND MONKS WENT TO THE DESSERT TO FAST AND
TO DO PENANCE AND SACRIFICE. THEY WERE TO FIGHT OFF
ALL BODY PLEASURES.
THESE TWO EXAMPLES SHOWED THAT THERE WAS ALWAYS A
BUILDUP OR A MENTAL BLOCK TOWARD FEMALES.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Custom |
Date learned: 02-27-1971
IT IS A JEWISH CUSTOM TO PUT SALT IN THE CUPBOARD OF A
NEW HOME, SO THAT IT WILL BRING PLENTY OF FOOD TO
THE HOUSE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Home BELIEF -- Number |
Date learned: 11-02-1968
SALT OVER THE SHOULDER CUSTOM
IT'S AN OLD CUSTOM THAT IF YOU KNOCK A SALT SHAKER
(OVER) YOU SHOULD QUICKLY THROW SOME OF THIS SALT
OVER YOUR LEFT SHOULDER.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Home |
Date learned: 11-00-1968
I PLAY ON A SUMMER BASEBALL LEAGUE EVERY SEASON. WHILE
INVOLVED IN PLAYING, IF THE TEAM IS ON A WINNING STREAK
IT IS NEVER PROPER TO WASH YOUR BASEBALL SOCKS, OR
YOUR TEAM WILL BREAK ITS LUCK. THE SAME ALSO GOES IF
I AM ON A HITTING STREAK, I'LL NEVER WASH MY
BASEBALL SOCKS OR I MEAN HAVE MY MOTHER WASH THEM.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion BELIEF -- Fate Destiny Luck Chance |
Date learned: 02-27-1971
THIS IS A CUSTOM FOLLOWED IN THE SPORT OF BOWLING.
IF IN BOWLING, ONE GETS TWO OR MORE STRIKES IN A ROW,
DON'T PUT THE TOTALS OR SCORES ON THE SCORE SHEET
UNTIL YOU MISS.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion BELIEF -- Fate Destiny Luck Chance |
Date learned: 02-27-1971
IN A BASKETBALL GAME, IF SOMEBODY'S "HOT"--IN
SCORING POINTS--YOU ALWAYS FEED HIM THE BALL, BECAUSE
IF HE DOESN'T GET THE SHOTS HE WILL GET COLD.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion BELIEF -- Fate Destiny Luck Chance |
Date learned: 02-27-1971
THEN THERE WAS THE ABSENT MINDED TEACHER AT JOHN CARROLL
UNIVERSITY (CLEVELAND, OHIO) WHO USED TO GO (TO) THE
LIBRARY FOR HOURS AT A TIME TO READ. ONE DAY, WHILE
ABSORBED IN THOUGHT, HIS NAME WAS PAGED FOR HIM TO GO
TO THE MAIN DESK. UPON HEARING HIS NAME, HE RAISED
HIS HEAD FROM THE DESK AND UTTERED A FEEBLE, "YES,
WHAT IS IT?"
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Physically handicapped Deformed |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
VOCABULARY OF SOME DETROITERS
INSTEAD OF SAYING, "HE DIED," SOME DETROITERS WILL
SAY, "HE BOUGHT THE FARM, OR "HE SOLD THE FARM."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
| Subject headings: | SPEECH -- Formula |
Date learned: 11-13-1970
GOOD WILL JEWISH CUSTOM
BAR MITZVAHS AND WEDDINGS ARE OCCASIONS FOR WHICH THE
JEWS LOOK FORWARD TO RECIPROCATING GOOD WILL AND THANKS
TO OLD FRIENDS AND RELATIVES. IT IS ALMOST AN OUTLOOK
OF EQUAL CELEBRATION FOR THE HONORED AND THE GUESTS.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Typical Elements of a Festive Pattern |
Date learned: 10-00-1968
ANY STITCH YOU PUT IN ON SUNDAY, YOU TAKE OUT ON
MONDAY.
Submitter comment:
REFLECTS IRISH CATHOLICISM WORK PROHIBITION ON
SUNDAY, SAYS COLLECTOR.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Measure of time F574.5 (SUNDAY) |
Date learned: 09-15-1969
WHEN I WAS VERY YOUNG AND COULDN'T GET TO SLEEP, MY
MOTHER WOULD KNOCK ON HER BED'S HEADBOARD AND TELL ME
THAT IT WAS THE BOOGEY MAN COMING TO GET ME. IF I
MADE ANY NOISE OR MOVED HE WOULD FIND ME.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Measure of time Sleeping |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
JEWISH BAR MIZVAH TALE
JEWISH BOYS MUST LEARN EXTREMELY WELL THEIR READINGS THAT
ARE TO BE GIVEN ON THEIR BAR MIZVAH AT THE TEMPLE. THERE
IS A STORY OF A YOUNG BOY WHO ON HIS BAR MIZVAH WAS
SO NERVOUS THAT HE FAINTED. YET HE KNEW HIS LESSONS
SO WELL THAT HIS MOUTH SILENTLY UTTERED HIS LINES AS
THEY CARRIED HIM OUT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Maturity |
Date learned: 10-00-1968
SHORT AND THICK
DOES THE TRICK.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Belief |
Date learned: 11-00-1968
RIDDLE
WHAT IS ROUND AND PURPLE, TRAVELS IN A LONG, BLACK
LIMOSINE, AND CARRIES A MACHINE GUN?
ANSWER: AL CAPLUM
Data entry tech comment: PUN ON AL CAPONE A GANGSTER IN THE 1930'S.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
James Callow Keyword(s): LIMOUSINE ; PLUM
| Subject headings: | RIDDLE -- Riddle Question |
Date learned: 00-00-1969
AUTOGRAPH BOOK VERSE
WHEN YOU ARE MARRIED AND EATING HAM,
THINK OF ME AND MY OLD MAN.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
James Callow Keyword(s): INSTRUCTIONS ; RHYME: AA ; SLANG: OLD MAN FOR ; SLANT RHYME
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse |
Date learned: 00-00-1933