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POLISH JOKE
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE POLISH TANK WITH FOUR GEARS?
IT HAS 3 REVERSE GEARS AND ONE FORWARD. THE FORWARD IS
IN CASE THE ENEMY ATTACKS FROM THE REAR.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): COWARDICE.
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman BELIEF -- Poli |
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POLISH JOKE
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY CALL THE POLISH NAVY? CHICK OF THE
SEA.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): COWARDICE.
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman BELIEF -- Poli |
Date learned: 04-13-1967
THE COWARDLY COUNT
ONE TIME THERE WERE TWO COUNTRIES CARRYING ON A BLOODY WAR.
INTELLIGENCE REPORTS FROM THE SECRET SERVICE TOLD THE
GENERALS OF THE ONE COUNTRY THAT THEIR ENEMIES HAD A
SECRET WEAPON THAT THEY WERE PLANNING TO USE. IN ORDER TO
FIND OUT THIS SECRET WEAPON, THEYCAPTURED ONE OF THE ENEMIES'
HIGH RANKING COUNTS WHO HAD INFORMATION ON THIS WEAPON.
INTERROGATING HIM FOR HOURS, THEY COULD GET NO INFORMATION.
FINALLY, THEY THREATENED THE COUNT BY PUTTING HIM ON THE
CHOPPING BLOCK. THE EXECUTIONER HAD HIS AX READY TO BEHEAD
THE COUNT WHEN THE CHIEF INTERROGATOR GAVE THE LAST CHANCE
TO TELL THEM THE VALUABLE INFORMATION. AS THE COUNT REFUSED
AGAIN, THE SIGNAL WAS GIVEN FOR THE EXECUTIONER TO CUT OFF
THE COUNT'S HEAD. AS THE AX WAS COMING DOWN, THE COUNT
CHANGED HIS MIND AND CALLED OUT, "WAIT, WAIT. I'LL TELL YOU
EVERYTHING!" BUT BEFORE THE ORDER COULD BE REVERSED, SWISH,
THE HEAD WENT ROLLING OFF THE CHOPPING BLOCK. THE MORAL
OF THE STORY: DON'T HATCHET YOUR COUNTS BEFORE THEY CHICKEN.
Submitter comment: I HEARD THIS SEVERAL YEARS AGO, BUT DON'T REMEMBER FROM WHOM.
Where learned: NOT GIVEN
Keyword(s): COWARD
| Subject headings: | 6677 Formula Tale |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
THE COWARDLY COUNT
ONE TIME THERE WERE TWO COUNTRIES CARRYING ON A BLOODY WAR.
INTELLIGENCE REPORTS FROM THE SECRET SERVICE TOLD THE
GENERALS OF THE ONE COUNTRY THAT THEIR ENEMIES HAD A
SECRET WEAPON THAT THEY WERE PLANNING TO USE. IN ORDER TO
FIND OUT THIS SECRET WEAPON, THEYCAPTURED ONE OF THE ENEMIES'
HIGH RANKING COUNTS WHO HAD INFORMATION ON THIS WEAPON.
INTERROGATING HIM FOR HOURS, THEY COULD GET NO INFORMATION.
FINALLY, THEY THREATENED THE COUNT BY PUTTING HIM ON THE
CHOPPING BLOCK. THE EXECUTIONER HAD HIS AX READY TO BEHEAD
THE COUNT WHEN THE CHIEF INTERROGATOR GAVE THE LAST CHANCE
TO TELL THEM THE VALUABLE INFORMATION. AS THE COUNT REFUSED
AGAIN, THE SIGNAL WAS GIVEN FOR THE EXECUTIONER TO CUT OFF
THE COUNT'S HEAD. AS THE AX WAS COMING DOWN, THE COUNT
CHANGED HIS MIND AND CALLED OUT, "WAIT, WAIT. I'LL TELL YOU
EVERYTHING!" BUT BEFORE THE ORDER COULD BE REVERSED, SWISH,
THE HEAD WENT ROLLING OFF THE CHOPPING BLOCK. THE MORAL
OF THE STORY: DON'T HATCHET YOUR COUNTS BEFORE THEY CHICKEN.
Submitter comment: I HEARD THIS SEVERAL YEARS AGO, BUT DON'T REMEMBER FROM WHOM.
Where learned: NOT GIVEN
Keyword(s): COWARD FEAR
| Subject headings: | 6677 Formula Tale |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
SHAGGY DOG STORY (WITH A MORAL)
A COUNT IN THE DAYS OF OLD WAS ACCUSED OF STEALING FROM
THE KING AND SENTENCED TO BE BEHEADED FOR HIS CRIME. HE
IS TAKEN UP TO THE HIGHEST TOWER IN THE CASTLE OF THE KING
AND HIS HEAD IS SET ON THE CHOPPING BLOCK. THE AXMAN TURNS
TO HIM AND SAYS, "WILL YOU ADMIT THAT YOU DID THE STEALING
BEFORE I MUST BEHEAD YOU?" AND THE COUNT DENIES IT. AGAIN,
AFTER A FEW SECONDS, THE AXMAN PLEADS, "TELL THAT YOU DID
THE STEALING AND YOU WILL BE RELEASED." AGAIN, THE COUNT
REFUSES TO TELL AND THE AXMAN PREPARED TO LIFT THE BLADE.
JUST AS THE AX GOES DOWN, THE COUNT SCREAMS OUT, "I DID IT."
BUT IT IS TOO LATE TO RECALL THE AX, AND HE IS BEHEADED.
THE MORAL OF THIS STORY IS AS FOLLOWS: "DON'T HATCHET
YOUR COUNTS BEFORE THEY CHICKEN."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SAGINAW
Keyword(s): FEAR COWARD
| Subject headings: | 6677 Formula Tale |
Date learned: 03-27-1971
(PROVERB)
THERE ONCE WAS A KING WHO HAD A COUNT SUSPECTED OF WITH-
HOLDING HIS PAYMENTS TO THE KING. THE KING THREATENED
HIM WITH THE AWE {AXE} IF HE WOULDN'T CONFESS TO WITHHOLDING.
THEN ONE DAY HE WAS DETERMINED TO GO THROUGH WITH IT. HE
HAD THE COUNT DRAGGED UP TO THE BLOCK AND STRAPPED IN.
"I'LL GIVE YOU ONE LAST CHANCE," SAID THE KING, BUT THE
COUNT SAID NOTHING.
THE KING TOLD THE HEADSMAN TO READY HIS AXE. AS THE AXE
WAS RAISED OVER THE COUNT'S NECK, THE KING SAID: "I'LL
GIVE YOU ONE MORE CHANCE." BUT THE COUNT STILL SAID
NOTHING. THE KING TOLD THE HEADSMAN TO CHOP. AS THE
BLADE WAS COMING DOWN, THE COUNT YELLED: "WAIT!" BUT IT
WAS TOO LATE.
THIS ONLY GOES TO SHOW THAT YOU SHOULDN'T HATCHET YOUR
COUNTS BEFORE THEY CHICKEN.
Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT
Keyword(s): FEAR COWARD
| Subject headings: | 6677 Formula Tale |
Date learned: 11-02-1970