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(PROVERB)
SOME GUY WHO WAS A GREAT TRACK STAR IN GREEK TIMES
STARTED TO BRAG HOW GREAT HE WAS. COME THE DAY OF THE
ATHENS-SPARTA MARATHON, AND HE WAS UP FOR IT. HIS
TRADE MARK BESIDES WINNING, WAS HIS CLOTHES, BECAUSE
HE WAS POOR. HE SAVED UP AND FOR THE BIG RACE HE
BOUGHT SHEEP WAX TO POLISH UP HIS CLOTHES SO THEY
LOOKED EXPENSIVE. THE RACE BEGINS. HE RAN AS HARD
AND AS LONG AS HE COULD. ALAS AND ALACK HE WAS
BEATEN.
MORAL: DON'T GLOSS YOUR BRITHCES AFORE YOU RUN IN
THEM.
Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT
Keyword(s): DON'T CROSS YOUR BRIDGES BEFORE YOU COME TO THEM.
| Subject headings: | 6677 Formula Tale |
Date learned: 10-20-1970
WINDOW IN THE DOGGIE JOKE
THERE WAS AN ECCENTRIC OLD LADY WHO HAD A LITTLE DOG
THAT SHE LOVED VERY MUCH AND JUST DOTED ON. THE DOG WAS
GETTING OLD AND HADN'T BEEN FELLING WELL, SO THE LADY TOOK
IT TO THE VET. THE DOCTOR TOLD HER THAT THE DOG HAD A
WEAK HEART AND WOULDN'T BE AROUND MUCH LONGER. HE SAID
HE JUST HAD A DOG WHO DIED AND SUGGESTED A HEART TRANSPLANT.
THE LADY CONSENTED AND THE DOCTOR WAS REALLY EXCITED
BECAUSE THIS WAS A FIRST--A HEART TRANSPLANT IN A DOG. THE
LADY WAS WATCHING THE DELICATE OPERATION AND THE SKILLFUL
DOCTOR ASKED THAT SINCE HE WAS ALREADY OPERATING, COULD
HE PUT A WINDOW IN THE DOG SO THEY COULD WATCH THE NEW
HEART WORK. THE LADY BEGAN TO WORRY ABOUT MONEY, BUT
CONSENTED ANYWAY.
FINALLY SHE GOT SO WORRIED ABOUT THE COST OF THE OPERATION
AND EVERYTHING THAT SHE THOUGHT SHE {HAD} BETTER INQUIRE
ABOUT IT. SHE ASKED THE DOCTOR, "HOW MUCH IS THAT WINDOW
IN THE DOGGIE?"
Where learned: INDIANA ; University of Notre Dame
Keyword(s): SONG: HOW MUCH IS THAT DOGGIE IN THE WINDOW.
James Callow Keyword(s): HOW MUCH IS THAT DOGGIE IN THE WINDOW?
| Subject headings: | 6677 Formula Tale |
Date learned: 03-28-1971
YELLOW FINGER
ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A CASTLE THAT WAS GUARDED BY
A HUGE YELLOW FINGER, WHO WOULDN'T LET ANYONE PASS
THE KING FROM A RIVALING CASTLE SENT ONE OF HIS BRAVEST
KNIGHTS TO GET BY THE FINGER, BUT THE FINGER KILLED HIM.
SO THE KING SENT A DUKE, BUT HE, TOO, WAS KILLED. THEN
THE KING SENT ONE OF HIS PAGES. HE JUST WALKED RIGHT
THROUGH.
MORAL: LET YOUR PAGES DO THE WALKING THROUGH THE YELLOW
FINGER.
Submitter comment:
IT SEEMS TO ME THERE WAS SLIGHTLY MORE BUILD-UP ON THIS
STORY, BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER IT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | 6677 Formula Tale |
Date learned: 11-18-1968
YELLOW FINGERS
ONCE THERE WAS A KING WHO WANTED TO GET A MESSAGE THROUGH
TO A NEIGHBORING KINGDOM. BUT IN ORDER TO GET THROUGH,
THE MESSANGER WOULD HAVE TO PASS THE MONSTROUS YELLOW
FINGERS. FIRST A KNIGHT WAS SENT, BUT THE YELLOW FINGERS
PINCHED HIM TO DEATH. THEN A SQUIRE TRIED, BUT MET WITH
THE SAME FATE. FINALLY, A PAGE WAS SENT AND MADE IT
THROUGH.
THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS: LET YOUR PAGES DO THE WALKING
THROUGH THE YELLOW FINGERS.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | 6677 Formula Tale |
Date learned: 10-15-1969
I WAS POURING HIM A HILL, HE WAS DIGGING ME A HOLE.
Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT
Keyword(s): {WHEN IS THIS USED?} {DON'T KNOW}
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: 10-03-1971
POLISH PROVERB
THE MICE SAFELY CAN RUN AROUND WHEN THE CAT ISN'T HOME.
TRANSLATION OF:
BEZPIECZNIE MYSZY BIEGAJA, GAY ROTA U DOMU NIE MAJA.
Submitter comment: I KNOW THIS FROM HOME.
Where learned: NOT GIVEN BY COLLECTOR
James Callow Keyword(s): FREEDOM
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN BY COLLECTOR
KNOB: A THING TO ADORE.
James Callow Keyword(s): DEFINITION ; HUMOR ; PUN FOR A DOOR.
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Apothegm Maxim |
Date learned: 05-29-1970
TEN ACRES OF SAND AND A RED-HEADED WIFE
IS UAUALLY {SIC} THE END OF A PINHEAD'S LIFE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FERNDALE
Keyword(s): THINKS, PINHEAD MEANS DULL-WITTED.} ; {MEANING? COLLECTOR DOESN'T KNOW. PROBABLY, SHE
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Proverb Proverb |
Date learned: 09-20-1967
VINEGAR CATCHES NO FLIES.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Keyword(s): FOOD INSECTS ODOR
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: 00-00-1965
DID YOU EVER THINK OF ACTING? LIKE A HUMAN.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Keyword(s): PUT DOWN
| Subject headings: | RIDDLE -- Riddle Question |
Belief
Take a large piece of Alum and put it in your back pocket and it will cure anything.
Data entry tech comment:
Contributed to Folklore Archive; December 1967.
Motifs Added by TRD
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; EJ Murphy ; Patient
Keyword(s): BELIEF ; CURE ; DOCTOR ; Medicinal ; MINERAL ; Patient
James Callow Keyword(s): BELIEF ; MEDICINE
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Mineral |
Play on Words
Did you hear about the nearsighted optician who fell into a lens-grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself?
Data entry tech comment:
Motifs added by TRD
James Callow comment:
Original Boggs Numbers [W400, B667] crossed out and B660 Substituted.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; Walsh, George E Jr ; 6457 Ellsworth
Keyword(s): Anecdote ; HUMOR ; IRONY ; Jest ; Optician ; PUN ; Silly
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse Translations, plays on words, symbol writing |
Did you hear about the butcher who backed into a meat cutting machine and got a little behind in his work?
Data entry tech comment:
Motifs added by TRD
James Callow comment:
Original Boggs Numbers [W400, B667] are crossed out and B660 is substituted.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; Walsh, George E Jr ; 6457 Ellsworth
Keyword(s): Butcher, Meat, Machine ; EUPHEMISM ; Jest, Anecdote, Pun, Joke, Irony ; PARODY
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse Translations, plays on words, symbol writing |
Jokes
A man walked into a rest-room and seen a ten dollar bill laying on a table. As he picked it up and started to put it ini his pocket he heard a weird voice say: "I'm the ghost of Betty Grable and I say the ten dollar bill stays on the table." The man grew frightened, threw the ten dollar bill back on the table and ran out.
Another man walked in , picked up the ten dollar bill and started to walk out. Again the voice came and repeated the same line. The man laughed and put the ten dollar bill back on the table and walked out. A third man came in and picked up the ten dollar bill and put it in his pocket. As he was leaving he heard the haunting voice say: "I'm the ghost of Betty Grable and I say the ten dollar bill stays on the table." The man smiled, and said: "*I am the ghost of Davy Crockett, and I say the ten dollar bill stays in my pocket!"
Data entry tech comment:
Motifs Added by TRD
James Callow comment:
Original BN [B667] crossed out and replaced with B660
Editing marks for spelling errors. ( crossed out an errant tin the word laughed).
Where learned: Myself
Keyword(s): Anecdote ; BATHROOM ; Betty Grable ; Davy Crockett ; GHOST ; GHOSTLY VOICES ; Jest ; MONEY ; Voice ; Wit
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Play on Words
Sermon Using Names of Soaps and Detergents
Are you SOFT SOAPING God? DUZ you DRIFT along with the TIDE? VEL now is the time to CHEER up. If you want real JOY, the TREND is to BREEZE to church regularly on Sunday mornings. But too many WOODBURY their heads in a pillow and remain in bed or work in their yard to make it sparkle, forgetting that the Lord's Day is made for LESTOIL.
But where the Lord is given foremost consideration a DOVE will never have to send an S.O.S.. Don't trust LUX chances by neglecting our worship together.
Maybe we ought to DIAL you and remind you of those IVORY palaces up yonder. This is not just silly BAB-O. Worship is intended to add to your LIFEBOUY, so why not be faithful and WISK yourself out of bed early Sunday. Dress up SPIC'N'SPAN, DASH like a COMET to God's house of prayer. DRAISE to God, you'll get a wonderful KLENZER for your soul. PLEDGE yourself and PRIDE of conscience will be yours. Life will be full of ZEST.
Data entry tech comment:
Motifs added by TRD
James Callow comment:
Original BN [B644, B667] crossed out and replaced with S570.
Original title [STORY Using Names of Soaps and Detergents] is modified to read SERMON Using Names of Soaps and Detergents.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; 7625 WESTWOOD ; St Peter Gdula ; Sister M
Keyword(s): ADVERTISING ; Anecdote ; Cleanser ; Consumerism ; Domesticity ; HOME, DOMESTIC PURSUITS ; HOUSECLEANING ; PARODY ; Sermon ; Soap
| Subject headings: | SPEECH -- Formula |
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Poor Wording
A number of GI's in England during the war decided to hold a horse race to keep up the morale of the base. For some reason they were short of active animals for the event. Now it happened that the local parish priest had a donkey and they obtained his permission to use it to make up the field. The donkey to the surprise of everyone came in third in the first race. Where upon the camp newspaper came out with the headline "Padre's Ass Shows."
This naturally caused no small scandal among the people of the parish and eventually reached the bishop. However, when called to ask about it by the bishop the padre managed to mollify the good man by explaining it was only an American slang expression. The next day a race was held and the donkey came in first. The paper then announced "Padre's Ass Out in Front."
This called for further episcopal disapproval, but again the padre succeeded in mollifying the bishop. The third day's race the donkey finished second and the paper reported "Padre's Ass back in Place." This was the last straw for the bishop and he ordered the priest to withdraw the animal from the race. The camp then came forth with the sad news: "Bishop Scratches Padre's Ass."
Data entry tech comment:
Motifs added by TRD
James Callow comment:
Original BN [ B667 ] modified: the number zero is written over the seven. Additionally, the entire BN is crossed out and replaced with B660.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; Cieslak, John
Keyword(s): AMERICAN ; Anecdote ; Culture Clash ; DONKEY ; European ; GAMBLING ; HORSE ; Jest ; Language ; MILITARY ; NEWSPAPER ; PUN ; RACING ; RELIGION ; SLANG
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote Filter - Mature Content |
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Ethnic Joke: French
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
There was this couple engaged to be married. He was a Frenchman, while she was American. Her father gives her advice about her fiance: "Daughter, don't marry a frenchman!" But father, I love this man very much, I'm sure he will be fine. Her father repeats his warning: "Don't marry a Frenchman, because in six months, he'll ask you to "Change ends!" Don't worry father, everything will be ok. So, they got married.
What do you know, but six months later, while they are in bed, the Frenchman says "Honey, would you mind changing ends, just for tonight?" The girl gets a little angry and says "I should have listened to my father, he was right about you Frenchmen!" The frenchman replied, "But honey, Don't you want to have any children?"
Data entry tech comment:
Motifs and BN added by TRD
James Callow comment:
Submission card was located in a pile marked To Be Classified.
Where learned: RENO HALL ; DORM ROOM ; Fournier, Rock
Keyword(s): ETHNIC JOKE ; FRENCH ; HOMOSEXUALITY ; Innuendo ; MARRIAGE ; REFERENCE TO SEXUAL INTERCOURSE ; SEXUAL EUPHEMISM ; Stereotype
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- C566 |
Play on Words
Play on Words:
Paradox: Casey and Kildare...
(Pair of doc's)
Submitter comment:
Val Zelnick. Heard long ago in grade-school. It is a way of remembering the word and its meaning, besides being a play on words.
Data entry tech comment:
Motifs and BN added by TRD
James Callow comment:
Original BN [S300] crossed out. Nothing is written to replace it.
Submission card located in a pile marked To Be Classified.
Where learned: ELEMENTARY SCHOOL ; Zelnick, Valentine
Keyword(s): Doctors ; MNEMONIC ; Mnemonic Device ; PARADOX ; SATIRE OF DOCTORS ; Wit ; WORDPLAY
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Speech |
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Confucius Says:
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
He who lives in glass house makes love in closet.
Data entry tech comment:
Motifs and BN added by TRD
James Callow comment:
Submission Card located in pile marked To Be Classified
Where learned: Singer, Mary
Keyword(s): ALLUSION TO SEXUAL INTERCOURSE ; Confucius ; Jest, Anecdote, Pun, Joke, Irony ; JOKE ; WISDOM
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor PROVERB -- Proverbial Apothegm Maxim PROVERB -- Proverbial Phrase Filter - Mature Content |
Confucius Says:
He who lives in glass house dresses downstairs.
Data entry tech comment:
Motifs and BN added by TRD
James Callow comment:
Submission Card located in pile marked To Be Classified.
Where learned: Singer, Mary
Keyword(s): CONFUCIAN PARODY ; Confucius ; GLASS ; HUMOR ; Jest, Anecdote, Pun, Joke, Irony ; JOKE
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor PROVERB -- Proverbial Apothegm Maxim |