Offensive content Filter is ON
Your search for B665 returned 87 results.
Content filter on this entry.
NEGRO-JEWISH STORY
BY THE YEAR 2000 INTEGRATION HAD BEEN COMPLETED AND THE
NEGRO HAD ACHIEVED EQUALITY. TWO NEGROS MET ON A
CORNER OF WALL STREET. THEY WERE BOTH FASHIONABLY
DRESSED IN BROOKS BROTHERS SUITS AND WERE CARRYING
ATTACHE CASES.
FIRST NEGRO, UPON MEETING FRIEND, "CONGRATULATIONS!
I HEAR YOU WERE ELECTED DIRECTOR OF THE BOARD OF GENERAL
MOTORS."
SECOND NEGRO, "THANK YOU. I WOULD LIKE TO CONGRATULATE
YOU ON BEING ELECTED CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD FOR
CONSOLIDATED EDISON. WHY DON'T WE GO HAVE A DRINK TO
CELEBRATE OUR MUTUAL GOOD FORTUNE."
THEY REPAIR TO A FASHIONABLE LOUNGE WHERE A JEWISH
BARTENDER TAKES THEIR ORDERS FOR TWO MARTINIS. WHILE
HE MIXES THEIR DRINKS IN A SHAKER, HE HUMS A TUNE,
ALWAYS BACK AND FORTH KEEPING TIME WITH THE MOVEMENTS
OF THE SHAKER.
OBSERVING THESE GYRATIONS, THE NEGROS LOOK AT EACH OTHER
KNOWINGLY. ONE NEGRO SAYS TO THE OTHER, REFERRING TO
THE BARTENDER, "ONE THING YOU HAVE TO ADMIT ABOUT THESE
POOR MOTHER SCRATCHERS, THEY SURE HAVE RYTHM."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man |
Content filter on this entry.
PEDRO GONZALES
HISTORICAL RECORD FROM JAMES CALLOW FOLKLORE ARCHIVE.
ONE DAY TWO LITTLE MEXICAN MEN WERE STANDING IN A POST
OFFICE IN MEXICO LOOKING AT THE PICTURES OF THE WANTED MEN.
WHILE LOOKING AT THE PICTURE OF A HUGE, HAIRY MAN WITH
TWO BIG GUNS, ONE OF THE LITTLE MEN SAID, "HEY, PONCHO,
DO YOU KNOW PEDRO GONALES?" "OH, SI, I KNOW PEDRO
GONZALES. JUST THE ODDER DAY I AM RIDING MY BURROW IN
DE COUNTRY AND THIS BIG MAN WID TWO BIG GUNS SAYS TO
EM, 'IAM PEDRO GONZALES.' HE HAD DE TWO BIG GUNS SO
I GEET DOWN FROM MY BURROW. HE SAYS, 'GIVE ME YOUR
MONEY.' I DID NOT WANT TO GIVE EM MY MONEY BUT HE HAD
DE TWO BEEEG GUNS, SO I GIVE EM MY MONEY. HE SAYS,
'PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS.' I DID NOT WANT TO PULL DOWN MY
PANTS, BUT HE HAD DE TWO BEEEG GUNS, SO I PULL DOWN MY
PANTS. HE SAYS, 'SHIT.' I DID NOT WANT TO SHIT BUT HE
HAD DE TWO BEEG GUNS SO I SHIT. HE SAYS, 'EAT DAT
SHIT.' I DID NOT WANT TO EAT DAT SHIT BUT HE HAD DE
TWO BEEG GUNS, SO I EAT DAT SHIT. NOW HE IS LAUGHING
AND I PULL DE TWO BIG GUNS AWAY FROM HIM. I SAY,
'PEDRO GONZALES, GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!' HE DID NOT
WANT TO GIVE ME THE MONEY, BUT I HAD DE TWO BEEG
GUNS, SO HE GAVE ME DE MONEY. I SAY, 'PEDRO
GONZALES, PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS.' HE DID NOT WANT TO
PULL DOWN HIS PANTS, BUT I HAD DE TWO BIG GUNS, SO HE
PULLED DOWN HIS PANTS. I SAY, 'PEDRO GONZALES, SHIT.'
HE DID NOT WANT TO SHIT BUT I HAD DE TWO BIG GUNS SO
HE SHIT. I SAY, 'PEDRO GONZALES, EAT DAT SHIT.' HE
DID NOT WANT TO EAT DAT SHIT, BUT I HAD DE TWO BIG GUNS
SO HE EAT DAT SHIT. OH SI, I KNOW PEDRO GONZALES, WE
HAD LUNCH TOGEDDER YESTERDAY."
Submitter comment:
THE INFORMANT HEARD THIS WHILE HE WAS EMPLOYED AT THE
FORD MOTOR COMPANY DURING THE SUMMER OF 1964.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man |
Date learned: 07-00-1964
A TALE OF TALKING ANIMALS
IN POLAND, IT IS BELIEVED THAT FARM ANIMALS WILL TALK
ON CHRISTMAS EVE. A FARMER ONCE SNUCK INTO HIS
BARN TO HEAR THEM. HE OVERHEARD HIS COW SAYING THAT
THE FOLLOWING MORNING ALL THE ANIMALS WILL BE IN A
FUNERAL PROCESSION FOR THEIR OWNER. THE FARMER GOT SO
SCARED WHEN HE HEARD THIS, HE DROPPED DEAD. THIS
IS A POPULAR BELIEF IN POLAND.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man |
Date learned: 10-22-1967
THE DRUNK
THERE WAS A HOUSING SHORTAGE IN TOWN, SO THE MADAME HAD
A GIRL WORKING IN EVERY SPOT IN THE HOUSE. ONE GUY CAME
IN, GOT HIMSELF A GIRL AND SINCE THERE WERE NO ROOMS
AVAILABLE, THE MADAME TOLD THEM TO GO UP ON THE ROOF,
WHICH WAS FLAT. WHILE THEY WERE GOING AT IT HOT AND
HEAVY, THEY HAPPENED TO FALL OFF. A DRUNK PASSED BY,
TOOK ONE LOOK AT THEM AND WALKED AROUND TO THE FRONT
OF THE HOUSE AND ASKED FOR THE MADAME. SHE TOOK ONE
LOOK AT HIM AND SAID, "WE DON'T ALLOW DRUNKS WITH OUR
GIRLS." HE REPLIED, "I DON'T WANT ANY GIRL TONIGHT,
I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT YOUR SIGN FELL DOWN."
Submitter comment:
THE INFORMANT HEARD THIS FROM A NEIGHBOR OF HIS. HE
DOES NOT KNOW WHEN OR EVEN WHO THIS NEIGHBOR WAS.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man |
Date learned: 04-08-1965
INDIAN STORY
IT SEEMS AN INDIAN WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE A GREAT MEMORY
SO MUCH SO THAT HIS FAME HAD SPREAD. ONE DAY, HE
CAME INTO A RESTAURANT AND ORDERED A COUPLE OF EGGS.
JUST THEN THERE WAS AN EXPLOSION AND THE INDIAN WAS
INJURED, TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL, AND WAS RELEASED.
WAR BROKE OUT AND HE WAS DRAFTED, SERVED IN THE PACIFIC,
AND EVENTUALLY AFTER SEVERAL YEARS, WAS DISCHARGED.
SO AFTER ABOUT TEN YEARS, HE AGAIN WALKS INTO A
RESTAURANT AND THE SAME PROPRIETOR WAITS ON HIM.
JOKINGLY, THE PROPRIETOR, NOT RECOGNIZING HIM, SAYS,
"HOW!" THE INDIAN REPLIED, "SCRAMBLED."
Submitter comment:
I HAVE HEARD THIS STORY SO OFTEN OVER A PERIOD OF
YEARS THAT I NO LONGER HAVE ANY IDEA WHO TOLD IT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN, ASSUMED ; ROSEVILLE
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Work Commerce Business |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
THE MILKMAN
THERE WAS A MILKMAN WHO WENT UP TO ONE OF HIS CUSTOMER'S
HOMES ONE DAY. A LADY ANSWERED THE DOOR WITH NOTHING
ON BUT A PANTIE AND BRA. SHE INVITED HIM IN FOR A CUP
OF COFFEE. HE DECLINED WITH THE EXCUSE THAT HE WAS TOO
BUSY, BUT HE WAS REALLY TURNED ON. THIS HAPPENED ON THE
SECOND AND THIRD DAY, UNTIL THE LADY WAS ANSWERING WITH
NOTHING ON AT ALL. THE THIRD AFTERNOON, AFTER THE
MILKMAN HAD AGAIN DECLINED THE INVITATION, HE WAS TAKING
HIW OWN FAMILY OUT FOR A RIDE. HE GOT TO THINKING ABOUT
WHAT HAD HAPPENED ON THE LAST THREE MORNINGS AND HE
DECIDED THAT HE WAS A FOOL FOR NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE OF
IT. AND EVEN THE THOUGHT OF THIS TURNED HIM ON. SO
HE DROPPED OFF HIS FAMILY AS SOON AS HE COULD AND RUSHED
OVER TO THIS LADY'S HOUSE. WHEN HE GOT TO THE PORCH HE
DECIDED TO PULL HIS TOOL OUT BECAUSE HE THOUGHT THAT
THE LADY WOULD ANSWER NAKED AS IN THE MORNING. INSTEAD,
A BIG-(OBSCENITY) MAN ANSWERED WITH TATOOS ON HIS ARMS
AND CHEST. HE SAID, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?"
"I'M THE MILKMAN AND IF YOU DON'T PAY YOUR BILL, I'
GOING TO PISS ALL OVER YOUR PORCH."
Submitter comment:
THE INFORMANT HEARD THIS AT THE NATIONAL BANK OF
DETROIT, DOWNTOWN BRANCH, WHILE HE WAS WORKING THERE.
HE DOES NOT KNOW WHEN.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man |
Date learned: 04-08-1965
APPLE PIE AND COFFEE
THERE WAS A MAN WHO JUST CAME OVER FROM FRENCH-CANADA AND
HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH. HE GOT A JOB IN A
MINING TOWN AND EVERY AFTERNOON HE WOULD GO TO A LITTLE
RESTAURANT TO EAT. BUT HE COULDN'T ORDER ANYTHING
BECAUSE HE DIDN'T SPEAK ANY ENGLISH. AFTER ABOUT TWO
WEEKS OF THIS, HE GOT RATHER DISGUSTED WITH THE IDEA
THAT HE WASN'T HAVING ANY LUNCH. SO ONE DY HE WENT UP
TO ONE OF HIS FRENCH-SPEAKING FRIENDS AND ASKED HIM HOW
TO ORDER SOMETHING IN ENGLISH. HE FRIEND TOLD HIM TO
SAY "APPLE PIE AND COFFEE." SO OUR FRIEND WENT HOME AND
PRACTICED ALL NIGHT, "APPLE PIE COFFEE, APPLE PIE
COFFEE, APPLE PIE COFFEE..." SO THE NEXT DAY, WHEN HE
WENT INTO THE RESTAURANT HE BLURTED OUT, "APPLE PIE
COFFEE." SO THIS WENT ON EVERY AFTERNOON FOR ABOUT
THREE WEEKS, "APPLIE PIE COFFEE, APPLE PIE COFFEE,
APPLE PIE COFFEE..." UNTIL ONE DAY HE DECIDED THAT HE WAS
SICK OF "APPLE PIE COFFEE." HE WENT UP TO HIS FRENCH-
AMERICAN FRIEND AND ASKED HIM FOR SOMETHING ELSE TO
ORDER. HIS FRIEND TOLD HIM TO SAY, "HAM SANDWICH AND
COFFEE." SO ALL NIGHT LONG HE PRACTICED, "HAM SANDWICH
COFFEE, HAM SANDWICH COFFEE, HAM SANDWICH COFFEE..."
NEXT AFTERNOON HE WAS READY TO MAKE HIS NEW ORDER. HE
WENT INTO THE RESTAURANT AND THE WAITRESS ASKED HIM WHAT
HE WANTED. HE REPLIED VERY PROUDLY, "HAM SANDWICH
COFFEE." SHE ANSWERED, "WILL THAT BE ON RYE OR ON
WHITE BREAD?" HE RETORTED, "HAM SANDWICH COFFEE."
Submitter comment:
I LEARNED THIS JOKE FROM MY FATHER ABOUT THREE YEARS
AGO. HE HEARD IT FROM A FRENCH-SPEAKING FRIEND OF HIS
IN FLINT, MICHIGAN
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man |
Date learned: 04-16-1965
THE MACHINE
THIS GUY GOES INTO AN AIRPORT AND HE SEES THIS MACHINE
WITH A BIG SIGN ON THE TOP OF IT WHICH READ, "YOUR WIFE
AWAY FROM HOME." HE WONDERED WHAT IT WAS, BUT HE WAS
TOO CHICKEN TO GO AND TRY IT, SO HE DECIDED TO WAIT AND
WATCH SOMEONE ELSE USE IT. THIS ONE MAN GOES UP TO IT
AND PUTS A COIN IN IT. HE PUTS HIS FRONT SIDE UP
CLOSE TO IT AND MOVED AROUND A BIT TO GET INTO POSITION.
LIGHTS AND BELL WENT OFF AND THE MAN HAD A LOOK OF
SATISFACTION ON HIS FACE. A SECOND MAN WENT UP TO THE
MACHINE AND THE SAME THING HAPPENED, SO OUR FRIEND
DECIDED THAT IT WAS HIS TURN TO TRY IT. HE WENT UP TO
THE MACHINE, STUCK HIS TOOL IN A LITTLE HOLE HE SAW AND
PUT A COIN INTO THE MACHINE. SUDDENLY HE STARTED TO
YELL AND SCREAM. HE PULLED OUT HIS TOOL AND THERE
WAS A BUTTON SEWED ON IT.
Submitter comment:
THE INFORMANT HEARD THIS AT THE FORD MOTOR COMPANY
WHILE HE WAS EMPLOYED THERE DURING THE SUMMER OF 1964.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man |
Date learned: 07-00-1964
THE SETTLERS
THERE WAS A FAMILY OF SETTLERS AND THEY WERE ATTACKED
BY INDIANS. THE MOTHER AND THE CHILDREN WERE KILLED AND
THE FATHER WAS SHOT THROUGH THE CHEST WITH AN ARROW.
THE WHOLE FARM WAS IN HAVOC. THE SOLDIERS CAME AND
ASKED THE FARMER WHAT HAPPENED. HE TOLD THEM. THEN
THEY ASKED HIM IF HIS WOUND HURT. HE SAID, "IT ONLY
HURTS WHEN I LAUGH."
Submitter comment:
THE INFORMANT HEARD THIS AT ST. SABINA SCHOOL, REDFORD
TOWNSHIP, MICHIGAN.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man |
Date learned: 04-16-1965
THE DRUNK
THIS DRUNK WALKED INTO THE BAR AND ORDERED A DRINK. HE
NOTICED THAT THE BARTENDER'S WIFE WAS REALLY BUILT--
I MEAN REALLY STACKED. THE DRUNK SAID, "I'D GIVE A
HUNDRED DOLLARS TO KISS HER BOOBS!" THE BARTENDER
AND HIS WIFE WERE NOT MAKING MUCH MONEY AT THE TIME AND
THEY DECIDED THAT THIS WOULD BE A HARMLESS WAY TO MAKE
A HUNDRED DOLLARS. SO THEY TOLD THE MAN TO COME INTO
THE BACK ROOM. THE WIFE STRIPPED TO THE WAIST AND THE
DRUNK STARTED TO PLAY WITH HER BOOBS. THE BARTENDER
SAID, "WELL, GO ON, KISS THEM." THE DRUNK REPLIED,
"IF I HAD A HUNDRED BUCKS, I WOULD."
Submitter comment:
INFORMANT STATED THAT HE HEARD THIS STORY A LONG TIME
AGO AND THAT HE FORGOT EXCACTLY WHEN AND WHERE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man |
Date learned: 03-00-1965
Content filter on this entry.
A MAN WAS DRIVING DOWN SOUTH. ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE SMACKED
INTO A BUSLOAD OF NIGGERS. HE GOT OUT, GRABBED A SHOVEL,
DUG A BIG HOLE AND THREW ALL THE BODIES IN. THE STATE
TROOPERS CAME ALONG AND ASKED HIM WHAT HAD HAPPENED.
WHEN HE TOLD THEM, ONE TROOPER ASKED, "DID YOU CHECK
TO MAKE SURE THAT THEY WERE ALL REALLY DEAD BEFORE
YOU BURIED THEM?" THE GUY LOOKED AT THE TROOPER AND
SAID, "WELL, THERE WAS A COUPLE OF 'EM KEPT YELLIN 'I'S ALIVE,
I'S ALIVE' BUT YOU KNOW WHAT A BUNCHA LYIN BASTARDS THEM
NIGGERS ARE."
Submitter comment:
MR. BOZICH HEARD THIS JOKE IN DETROIT BUT DOESN'T REMEMBER
THE CIRCUMSTANCES.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): RACISM
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man Filter - Mature Content |
Date learned: 12-00-1963
Content filter on this entry.
A GUY WAS SPEEDING DOWN AN ALABAMA HIGHWAY ABOUT EIGHTY
MILES AN HOUR. ALL OF A SUDDEN TWO NIGGERS STARTED TO
CROSS THE HIGHWAY. THE GUY TRIED TO STOP IN TIME, BUT
COULDN'T. ONE OF THE NIGGERS CAME SMASHING IN THROUGH
THE WINDSHIELD AND WAS LAYING THERE ALL BLOODY AND CUT
UP. THE OTHER ONE GOT THROWN DOWN THE HIGHWAY AND WAS
LAYING CRUMPLED UP IN THE ROAD. SOON THERE'S A SIREN
AND THE STATE TROOPERS PULL UP. ONE OF THE TROOPERS ASKS
THE GUY WHAT HAPPENED. THE GUY WAS REALLY SHOOK UP AND
HE SAID, "GOLLY, OFFICER, IT WAS MY FAULT. I WAS
SPEEDING AND COULDN'T STOP IN TIME TO PREVENT HITTING
THESE TWO POOR FELLAS." "DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT," THE TROOPER
SAYS. "BUT OFFICER, IT WAS MY FAULT AND I'M WILLING TO
TAKE THE BLAME." "HELL NO, BUDDY, FORGET ABOUT IT.
THE GUY LAYING THERE ON THE SEAT, WE'RE TAKING HIM IN
FOR BREAKING AND ENTERING. AND THE OTHER NIGGER--
WE'RE GETTING HIM FOR LEAVING THE SCENE OF AN ACCIDENT."
Submitter comment:
MR. BOZICH HEARD THIS LATELY BUT DOESN'T REMEMBER
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): RACISM
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man |
Date learned: 12-00-1963
Content filter on this entry.
THERE WAS AN OLD COLORED MAN DRIVING SLOWLY DOWN THE
HIGHWAY IN ALABAMA. ALL OF A SUDDEN THE COPS PULL
HIM OVER, GRAB HIM OUT OF THE CAR, SHOVE HIM UP
AGAINST THE SIDE OF IT, AND SAY, "ALL RIGHT NIGGER,
WE SAW YOU RUN THAT RED LIGHT BACK THERE."
THE OLD COLORED MAN SAYS, "BUT OFFICER, DERE WASN'T
NO LITE!" ONE COP SLUGS HIM AND SAYS, "SHUT UP,
NIGGER, OR WEL'LL TAKE YOU IN FOR CONTEMPT OF COURT."
THEN THEY ADD, "BESIDES THAT YOU WERE GOING 80 MILES
AN HOUR." THE OLD MAN PROTESTS AGAIN, "BUT OFFICER,
DAT CAR CAN'T GO MOR'N THIRTY." "SHUT UP, NIGGER, OR
WEL'LL TAKE YOU IN FOR CONTEMPT." FINALLY THEY SAY,
"YOU ALSO WENT THROUGH A STOP SIGN." "BUT OFFICER,
DERE WERN'T NO----" "THAT DOES IT NIGGER!" SO THE TWO
COPS THROW THE NIGGER IN THE BACK OF THEIR CAR AND
TAKE HIM TO THE STATION. THEY DRAG HIM IN BEFORE THE
JUDGE. HE TAKES ONE LOOK AND SAYS, "WELL, WHAT'D
THIS DUMB NIGGER DO?" SO THE JUDGE SAID TO THROW HIM
IN A CELL FOR NOW. THEY THREW HIM INTO SOLITARY
CONFINEMENT AND HE STAYED THERE FOR 21 DAYS WITHOUT ANY
FOOD OR WATER. FINALLY THE TWO COPS AND THE JUDGE DRAG
HIM OUT OF THE CELL AND THE JUDGE SAYS, "YOU GOT YER
CHOICE, NIGGER, HANGIN' OR THE BULLDOG. THE OLD
NIGGER SCRATCHED HIS HEAD AND SAYS, "WELL, I SHO
DON'T WANNA HANG, SO I GIS I'S GOTTA TAKE DE BULLDOG."
SO THEY DRAG HIM OUT INTO A COURTYARD, TOSS HIM IN
THIS BIG HOLE AND FILL IT UP TO HIS HEAD. THEN THEY
LET THIS BIG, FEROCIOUS BULLDOG OUT OF A CAGE AND IT
COMES CHARGING AT THE OLD COLORED GUY. HE CAN HARDLY
MOVE, BUT JUST AS THE DOG IS ABOUT TO POUNCE ON HIS
HEAD, HE LEANS IT FORWARD AND THE BULLDOG GOES FLYING
OVER HIS HEAD. WELL, THAT DOG IS REALLY MAD NOW.
HE COMES FLYING AT THE COLORED MAN AGAIN. THE OLD GUY
CAN'T EVEN SEE THIS TIME, BUT RIGHT WHEN HE THINKS THE
DOG IS MAKING HIS LUNGE, HE MOVES HIS HEAD SIDEWAYS
AND THE DOG GOES FLYING BY AGAIN.
THE DOG IS FOAMING AT THE MOUTH NOW, AND HE'S REALLY
MAD. HIS FANGS ARE DRIPPING AND HE COMES FLYING AT
THE OLD GUY. THE MAN DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO THIS
TIME, SO RIGHT WHEN THE DOG IS LEAPING THROUGH THE
AIR TO POUNCE ON HIS HEAD, HE REACHES UP AND BITES
HIM RIGHT IN THE BALLS.
ONE OF THE OFFICERS WALKS ACROSS THE COURTYARD, KICKS
THE OLD GUY IN THE HEAD, AND SAYS, "FIGHT FAIR,
NIGGER."
Submitter comment:
I HEARD THIS FROM A SCHOOLMATE NAMED WARNER CANTO
MOST RECENTLY, BUT HE DOESN'T REMEMBER WHERE HE HEARD
IT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): RACISM
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man |
Date learned: 00-00-1963
LIVING LEGEND
VINCE LOMBARDY IS REGARDED BY MANY FOOTBALL FANS AS A MIRACLE
MAN. NATURALLY, SINCE HE PERFORMS MIRACLES, IT IS LOGICAL THAT
HE WOULD BE LIKENED TO GOD. IT SEEMS THAT VINCE RETURNED HOME
ONE COLD NIGHT IN GREEN BAY. HIS WIFE HAD ALREADY RETIRED, SO HE
JUST CRAWLED INTO BED. HIS WIFE AWOKE AND EXCLAIMED "GOD ARE
YOUR FEET COLD." VINCE TURNED OVER AND SAID, "THAT'S ALL RIGHT,
HONEY. WE'RE HOME NOW. YOU CAN CALL ME VINCE."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Keyword(s): FOOTBALL JOKE
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Secular hero PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man |
Date learned: 00-00-1966
WHEN I WAS A (AN) UNDERGRADUATE AT MOREHEAD (KY.) STATE TEACHERS'
COLLEGE, NOW MOREHEAD STATE UNIVERSITY, IN 1939 AND 1940,
GOLDFISH SWALLOWING BECAME A FAD AMONG COLLEGE STUDENTS
THROUGHOUT THE COUNTRY. REPORTEDLY A BOY AT MOREHEAD SWALLOWED
TWENTY-FOUR LIVE GOLDFISH. HE WAS TOPPED BY A BOY AT THE
UNIVERSITY OF KENTUCKY, WHICH WAS REFERRED TO LOCALLY AS THE
COUNTRY CLUB OF THE SOUTH, WHO SWALLOWED FORTY-TWO. I AM SURE
NEITHER OF THESE BOYS HELD THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP. I DID
NOT WITNESS THE SWALLOWING, NOR DID ANYONE ELSE THAT I KNEW
TO BE TRUTHFUL. THE NEWSPAPERS REPORTED SWALLOWINGS THROUGH-
OUT THE COUNTRY. AS FAR AS I KNOW, NO GIRLS EVER COMPETED IN
THE GOLDFISH SWALLOWING CONTESTS.
Where learned: KENTUCKY ; TENNESSEE ; NASHVILLE
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Fish PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- School BELIEF -- Custom |
DURING THE 1930'S THE FAD OF TREE SITTING SWEPT THE COUNTRY.
PRACTICALLY EVERY COMMUNITY HAD A TREE SITTER, AND THERE WAS
A CONTEST OF TRYING TO BREAK PREVIOUS RECORDS. IN ASHLAND,
KENTUCKY, WE HAD SEVERAL TREE SITTERS OVER A PERIOD OF TWO OR
THREE YEARS. THE ONE I REMEMBER MOST VIVIDLY ENDED IN TRAGEDY.
A BOY WHO HAD FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL BUT WAS NOT ABLE TO FIND A
JOB DUE TO THE DEPRESSION, BUILT A PLATFORM ABOUT THIRTY FEET
FROM THE GROUND IN A LARGE TREE. HE MADE SOME PROVISION FOR
SHELTER AND HAD DEVISED A PULLEY BY WHICH HIS FAMILY SENT HIS
FOOD AND OTHER NECESSITIES UP IN A BUCKET. THE TOWN PEOPLE
WOULD DRIVE BY AND TALK TO HIM OR WALK UP AND SPEND AN HOUR
OR SO IN THE AFTERNOON OR EARLY EVENING. HE HAD BEEN
UP THE TREE FOR ABOUT FORTY DAYS AND A STORM CAME UP ONE
NIGHT. EVIDENTLY THE STORM FRIGHTENED HIM DURING THE NIGHT
AND HE FELL FROM THE PLATFORM. HIS FAMILY FOUND HIS
CRUMPLED BODY ON THE GROUND THE NEXT MORNING.
Where learned: KENTUCKY ; TENNESSEE ; NASHVILLE ; ASHLAND
Keyword(s): POLE SITTING
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Human Being PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man |
Date learned: 00001930 CA.
A FRIEND'S EXPERIENCE (RELATED AS A TRUE STORY)
THERE WAS A FRIEND OF OURS, HE STUTTERED--REALLY STUTTERED.
HE SAID THAT THERE WAS A 'HAINT' SOMEWHERE IN THE COUNTRY.
ANYWAY, THERE WAS A CERTAIN PLACE THEY COULD GO, AN', UH,
THEY DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING, BUT THEY COULD JUST SENSE SOMETHIN',
AN' THE DOG WOULD EVEN GET SCARED, Y'KNOW. SO THIS PARTICULAR
TIME HE WENT OUT, AN', UH, HE HAD NO IDEA WHAT IT WAS--HE
COULD HEAR IT, BUT HE DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING. AN', UH, THE DOG
STARTED TO THE HOUSE, AN' HIM RIGHT AFTER IT, Y'KNOW, THE
DOG WAS SO SCARED HE KNEW THERE HAD TO BE SOMETHIN', AN' HE SAID,
"THET DOG WAS GOIN' JUST AS FAST AS HE COULD, AN' ME RIGHT AFTER
HIM," HE SAID, "WHEN THET DOG HIT THE BOTTOM DOORSTEP I HIT
THE TOP ONE! EVERY TIME OL' BOUNCE'S FEET HIT THE GROUND THEY
WENT MUGWUMP!"
Where learned: TENNESSEE ; NASHVILLE
Keyword(s): SPIRIT SPECTER
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Ghost Spirit Phantom Specter PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man SPEECH -- Phonology Phonetics |
Date learned: 07-06-1973
A DATA PROCESSING STUDENT TOOK A FRIEND TO THE COMPUTER CENTER
WITH HIM. THE FRIEND WAS QUITE INTERESTED IN THE MACHINE AND
ALL THE BUTTONS AND LIGHTS. HE SAW A LARGE RED KNOB AND ASKED,
"WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I PULL THIS?" AS HE PROCEEDED TO PULL IT.
THE RED KNOB WAS THE EMERGENCY SWITCH ON THE MACHINE, AND
HIS PULLING THE KNOB RESULTED IN THE DISCONNECTION OF MOST
OF THE INTERNAL WIRING OF THE COMPUTER.
Where learned: KENTUCKY ; BOWLING GREEN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- School |
Date learned: 06-00-1973
A CERTAIN PROFESSOR AT VANDERBILT WAS HABITUALLY INTOXICATED.
ON MANY OCCASIIONS, AFTER THE STUDENTS HAD COME IN FOR CLASS
AND HAD BEEN WAITING FIVE OR TEN MINUTES, THIS PROFESSOR WOULD
RAISE HIMSELF UP FROM BEHIND THE DESK AND SAY: "CLASH DISH-
MISHED!"
Where learned: NASHVILLE ; TENNESSEE, ASSUMED
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- School Food Drink -- Alcoholic beverage |
Date learned: 02-06-1972
PEABODY MURDER TALE
A SHELL-SHOCK VICTIM FROM THE VA HOSPITAL HAPPENED TO WANDER UP
THE NORTH HALL'S ROOF ONE NIGHT. A GIRL THAT LIVED THERE WENT TO
THE ROOF AND HE KILLED HER.
Submitter comment:
EVERY TIME THAT I HAVE HEARD THIS STORY FROM PAT, SHE HAS CHANGED
IT AROUND A LITTLE, SO I'M SURE THAT THERE ARE OTHER VERSIONS
WITH JUST AS LITTLE AUTHENTICITY.
Where learned: PEABODY COLLEGE
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man |
Date learned: 00-00-1971