THERE WAS AN OLD COLORED MAN DRIVING SLOWLY DOWN THE
HIGHWAY IN ALABAMA. ALL OF A SUDDEN THE COPS PULL
HIM OVER, GRAB HIM OUT OF THE CAR, SHOVE HIM UP
AGAINST THE SIDE OF IT, AND SAY, "ALL RIGHT NIGGER,
WE SAW YOU RUN THAT RED LIGHT BACK THERE."
THE OLD COLORED MAN SAYS, "BUT OFFICER, DERE WASN'T
NO LITE!" ONE COP SLUGS HIM AND SAYS, "SHUT UP,
NIGGER, OR WEL'LL TAKE YOU IN FOR CONTEMPT OF COURT."
THEN THEY ADD, "BESIDES THAT YOU WERE GOING 80 MILES
AN HOUR." THE OLD MAN PROTESTS AGAIN, "BUT OFFICER,
DAT CAR CAN'T GO MOR'N THIRTY." "SHUT UP, NIGGER, OR
WEL'LL TAKE YOU IN FOR CONTEMPT." FINALLY THEY SAY,
"YOU ALSO WENT THROUGH A STOP SIGN." "BUT OFFICER,
DERE WERN'T NO----" "THAT DOES IT NIGGER!" SO THE TWO
COPS THROW THE NIGGER IN THE BACK OF THEIR CAR AND
TAKE HIM TO THE STATION. THEY DRAG HIM IN BEFORE THE
JUDGE. HE TAKES ONE LOOK AND SAYS, "WELL, WHAT'D
THIS DUMB NIGGER DO?" SO THE JUDGE SAID TO THROW HIM
IN A CELL FOR NOW. THEY THREW HIM INTO SOLITARY
CONFINEMENT AND HE STAYED THERE FOR 21 DAYS WITHOUT ANY
FOOD OR WATER. FINALLY THE TWO COPS AND THE JUDGE DRAG
HIM OUT OF THE CELL AND THE JUDGE SAYS, "YOU GOT YER
CHOICE, NIGGER, HANGIN' OR THE BULLDOG. THE OLD
NIGGER SCRATCHED HIS HEAD AND SAYS, "WELL, I SHO
DON'T WANNA HANG, SO I GIS I'S GOTTA TAKE DE BULLDOG."
SO THEY DRAG HIM OUT INTO A COURTYARD, TOSS HIM IN
THIS BIG HOLE AND FILL IT UP TO HIS HEAD. THEN THEY
LET THIS BIG, FEROCIOUS BULLDOG OUT OF A CAGE AND IT
COMES CHARGING AT THE OLD COLORED GUY. HE CAN HARDLY
MOVE, BUT JUST AS THE DOG IS ABOUT TO POUNCE ON HIS
HEAD, HE LEANS IT FORWARD AND THE BULLDOG GOES FLYING
OVER HIS HEAD. WELL, THAT DOG IS REALLY MAD NOW.
HE COMES FLYING AT THE COLORED MAN AGAIN. THE OLD GUY
CAN'T EVEN SEE THIS TIME, BUT RIGHT WHEN HE THINKS THE
DOG IS MAKING HIS LUNGE, HE MOVES HIS HEAD SIDEWAYS
AND THE DOG GOES FLYING BY AGAIN.
THE DOG IS FOAMING AT THE MOUTH NOW, AND HE'S REALLY
MAD. HIS FANGS ARE DRIPPING AND HE COMES FLYING AT
THE OLD GUY. THE MAN DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO THIS
TIME, SO RIGHT WHEN THE DOG IS LEAPING THROUGH THE
AIR TO POUNCE ON HIS HEAD, HE REACHES UP AND BITES
HIM RIGHT IN THE BALLS.
ONE OF THE OFFICERS WALKS ACROSS THE COURTYARD, KICKS
THE OLD GUY IN THE HEAD, AND SAYS, "FIGHT FAIR,
NIGGER."

Submitter comment:

I HEARD THIS FROM A SCHOOLMATE NAMED WARNER CANTO
MOST RECENTLY, BUT HE DOESN'T REMEMBER WHERE HE HEARD
IT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): RACISM

Date learned: 00-00-1963