PEDRO GONZALES

HISTORICAL RECORD FROM JAMES CALLOW FOLKLORE ARCHIVE.

ONE DAY TWO LITTLE MEXICAN MEN WERE STANDING IN A POST
OFFICE IN MEXICO LOOKING AT THE PICTURES OF THE WANTED MEN.
WHILE LOOKING AT THE PICTURE OF A HUGE, HAIRY MAN WITH
TWO BIG GUNS, ONE OF THE LITTLE MEN SAID, "HEY, PONCHO,
DO YOU KNOW PEDRO GONALES?" "OH, SI, I KNOW PEDRO
GONZALES. JUST THE ODDER DAY I AM RIDING MY BURROW IN
DE COUNTRY AND THIS BIG MAN WID TWO BIG GUNS SAYS TO
EM, 'IAM PEDRO GONZALES.' HE HAD DE TWO BIG GUNS SO
I GEET DOWN FROM MY BURROW. HE SAYS, 'GIVE ME YOUR
MONEY.' I DID NOT WANT TO GIVE EM MY MONEY BUT HE HAD
DE TWO BEEEG GUNS, SO I GIVE EM MY MONEY. HE SAYS,
'PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS.' I DID NOT WANT TO PULL DOWN MY
PANTS, BUT HE HAD DE TWO BEEEG GUNS, SO I PULL DOWN MY
PANTS. HE SAYS, 'SHIT.' I DID NOT WANT TO SHIT BUT HE
HAD DE TWO BEEG GUNS SO I SHIT. HE SAYS, 'EAT DAT
SHIT.' I DID NOT WANT TO EAT DAT SHIT BUT HE HAD DE
TWO BEEG GUNS, SO I EAT DAT SHIT. NOW HE IS LAUGHING
AND I PULL DE TWO BIG GUNS AWAY FROM HIM. I SAY,
'PEDRO GONZALES, GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!' HE DID NOT
WANT TO GIVE ME THE MONEY, BUT I HAD DE TWO BEEG
GUNS, SO HE GAVE ME DE MONEY. I SAY, 'PEDRO
GONZALES, PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS.' HE DID NOT WANT TO
PULL DOWN HIS PANTS, BUT I HAD DE TWO BIG GUNS, SO HE
PULLED DOWN HIS PANTS. I SAY, 'PEDRO GONZALES, SHIT.'
HE DID NOT WANT TO SHIT BUT I HAD DE TWO BIG GUNS SO
HE SHIT. I SAY, 'PEDRO GONZALES, EAT DAT SHIT.' HE
DID NOT WANT TO EAT DAT SHIT, BUT I HAD DE TWO BIG GUNS
SO HE EAT DAT SHIT. OH SI, I KNOW PEDRO GONZALES, WE
HAD LUNCH TOGEDDER YESTERDAY."

Submitter comment:

THE INFORMANT HEARD THIS WHILE HE WAS EMPLOYED AT THE
FORD MOTOR COMPANY DURING THE SUMMER OF 1964.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Date learned: 07-00-1964