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THIS IS SAID WHILE TOUCHING THE INFERRED PARTS OF THE
BODY (IN PARENTHESES) OF THE PERSON.
HI OLD TOP (PATS HEAD), GLAD TO SEE YOU BACK (TOUCHES BACK)
FROM THE FRONT (TOUCHES FRONT). IT'S BEEN TWO LONG 'EARS
(GENTLY PULLS EARS) SINCE I SEEN YA, BUT I STILL 'NOSES YA
(TOUCHES NOSE).
Submitter comment:
THIS WAS ONE OF DAD'S JOKES, ALL OF HIS CHILDREN HAD TO ENDURE
IT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Flint
Date learned: 00-00-1976
PEA GREEN SOUP
THIS IS A RIDDLE JOKE THAT LEADS THE UNKNOWING PERSON TO SAY
SOMETHING EMBARRASSING. AFTER EACH QUESTION THE PERSON
ANSWERS: "PEA GREEN SOUP."
Q:"WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST?"
A:"PEA GREEN SOUP."
THE QUESTIONS CONTINUE WITH LUNCH, DINNER AND MIDNIGHT SNACK.
THE LAST QUESTION DOESN'T SEEM OBVIOUS UNTIL ANSWERED.
Q:"WHAT DID YOU DO ALL NIGHT?"
A:"PEA GREEN SOUP."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; THE VALLEY SCHOOL ; GRAND BLANC
James Callow Keyword(s): PEE=URINATE
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote RIDDLE -- Riddle Question |
Date learned: 00-00-1983
Little Billy Jokes
Little Billy runs into the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy!!"
"Quick get me a spoon!!"
His mother says, "What for?"
Billy replied, "Johnny threw up in the back seat of the car
and he's getting all the big chunks!"
Little Billy says, "Mommy, why is Daddy running
so fast down the driveway?" To which his mother replies, "Shut
up and reload this gun."
Little Billy asks, "Mommy, what happened to furball, the
kitty?" To which his mother replies, "Shut up, and finish
your meatloaf."
Submitter comment:
These are Little Billy jokes. I used to know several of them
all having to do with something gross or disgusting.
Several of the jokes have a certain formula.
E.g. - Little Billy says, "Mommy, why are/is ___________?
To which his mother would reply, "Shut up, and ___________.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HEMLOCK
James Callow Keyword(s): Sick Jokes
| Subject headings: | Favorites PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 00001970S
Nobody likes me. Everybody hates me. I think I'll eat
some worms. First you bite the heads off. Then you suck
the guts out. Then you throw the skins away.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HEMLOCK
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 00001970S
A minister, a priest and a rabbi were talking of how they
split the money between God and themselves from the
collection plate and the minister said that he would draw
a circle, throw up the money, and whatever landed in the
circle God would get and what was outside he would get.
The priest said that he drew a line, threw up the money
and what went on one side God got and the other side he
got. The rabbi said that he just threw the collection
plate in the air and whatever God caught that was God's.
Submitter comment: Told at a family reunion by my uncle.
Where learned: VIRGINIA ; NORFOLK
| Subject headings: | Favorites PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 00001980S
A barber was giving a haircut to a minister and when he
went to pay for it, the barber said that there is no
charge for men of the cloth, so in turn the minister gave
the barber a bible. The barber gave a haircut to a priest
and told him the same so the priest gave him a rosary.
He cut the hair of a rabbi and the same applied so the
rabbi brought another rabbi.
Submitter comment: Also learned at a family reunion.
Where learned: VIRGINIA ; NORFOLK
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 00001980S
A lawyer was talking to a Italian about a contract,
explaining its details. The lawyer begins talking
about the sanity clause. The Italian starts laughing
and says, "You can't fool me, there is no such a thing
as Santity Clause (Santa Claus).
Submitter comment: Brian did this at a party to jibe Roy (an Italian).
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROCHESTER HILLS
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote ITAL |
Date learned: 00001980S
How do you clear the Iraqis away fast in a Bingo game?
You yell out loud B-52!
Submitter comment:
The B-52 was what the allies used much of the time to
bomb many of the Iraqis' positions and main military
areas.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UTICA
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
AN OLD FAMILY JOKE: A SANDWICH WALKS INTO A BAR AND ASKS THE
BARTENDER FOR A BEER. THE BARTENDER SAY, "SORRY, WE DO NOT SERVE
FOOD HERE.";
Submitter comment: ;
Where learned: MICHIGAN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 00-00-1940
What do you call a brunette between two blondes? An
interpreter.
Where learned: MICHIGAN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 00-00-1991
"Mother, how old is our maid," asked Toto.
"Why do you want to know," his mother replied.
"I just do, that's all," he said in an anxious voice.
"Twenty-two years old," his mother answered.
"What a liar," Toto exclaimed. "Yesterday I heard her tell daddy
she was eight months."
Submitter comment:
In Greece there are commonly found jokes of a boy named Toto who
is a smartmouthed wiseguy.
Where learned: GREECE
James Callow Keyword(s): PREGNANCY
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 00001947CA
One day Toto was at the park with his mother.
"I want to pee," Toto exclaimed in front of many people.
"Toto," his embarrassed mother said. "Don't say you have to pee,
Toto. Say you have to...whistle and I'll know what you mean."
The next day Toto went to a movie with his dad.
"Daddy," Toto said. "I want to whistle."
"Not here," his father replied.
"But father," Toto said again. "I really want to whistle."
"O.K. Toto," his angered father replied. "If you have to whistle,
then whistle quietly in my ear."
Where learned: GREECE
Keyword(s): urination, jokes
| Subject headings: | Favorites PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 00001947CA
At lunch time in school, Toto had to go to the bathroom but was
afraid to leave his lunch unattended so on a piece of paper he wrote:
"I SPIT ON." He placed this paper on his lunch and left for the
bathroom. Upon returning he looked on the note and under his writing
he read: "I SPIT ON TOO."
Where learned: GREECE
Keyword(s): jokes, saliva
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 00001946CA
There were so many roaches in the house that they took over
the basement and you had to pay a toll to wash your clothes.
Submitter comment:
My mother told me that times were hard coming up; therefore
they just made fun of the problems they had. She really didn't
have any stories to tell that may have been passed down to her
mother because both her parents worked and didn't have time to
tell them. So the kids would make up jokes to help them laugh
about the conditions they lived in.
Where learned: DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): housing conditions
| Subject headings: | Favorites PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale BELIEF -- Insect |
Date learned: 00001960S
The shoes she wore were so worn out that if she stepped on a
dime she could tell if it was heads or tails.
Where learned: DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): tactile sense
| Subject headings: | Favorites PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote ART CRAFT ARCHITECTURE -- Dress HandsFeet BELIEF -- Body part Senses |
Date learned: 00001960S
Joke
One time a man went before the judge for sentencing and the
judge gave the man ten years for the {crime?} that he had committed
and the man started laughing and told the judge, "Oh! Your Honor,
I can do that standing on my head," so the judge said "Oh! Well,
here is ten more years to get you back on your feet again."
Where learned: GEORGIA ; Alberton
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 00-00-1959
Content filter on this entry.
There was a Italian fellow who went to court. They had a
trial. The jury came out and found the Italian guy "not guilty".
So the judge said to the Italian fellow, "May God bless and peace
be with you." And the Italian guy looked up at him and said: "And
a peace on a you too."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): piss
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote ITAL |
Date learned: 00001970S
Talking about the town of West Paris, Maine. West Paris Maine
has the city limits sign on both sides of the same sign. That's
a pretty small town. One day they had some Texas politicians
come into town. Now everything in Texas is big, huge, and the
townspeople are really proud of their town. Now the Texas
politicians pretty much puts everyone from West Paris Maine down.
These Maine people were quite upset. So the Maine people tried
to impress the Texas Politicians, so they took them to the West
Paris Maine town hall. Now the town hall is the biggest room in
the entire county. The Texas politician said "We have outhouses
in Texas that are bigger than this place." That really
infuriated the townspeople and one of the Maine people said, "I
guess you need them."
James Callow comment: Mark got his Maine jokes by visiting Maine.
Where learned: MAINE
| Subject headings: | Favorites PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 00-00-1982
There once was a elephant, a monkey and an ant. One day the
ant was out looking for food, and the elephant stepped on him.
The monkey was standing there and he started to talk about the
elephant so bad, the elephant started crying. The monkey asked
him how do you know if he didn't have a family, and was out
looking for food for them. The elephant replied, "I didn't know.
I was only trying to trip him.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 01-15-1992
A man was on an overpass above a Detroit freeway and was
dropping a concrete block onto the moving cars below. The concrete
block was attached with a rope that he used to haul the block back
up onto the overpass to use on another unsuspecting motorist. One
victim managed to stop his car, yanked the rope with all his
force, and pulled the arm off of the overpass villain. The
overpass villain then took the motorist to court. (At this point
the storyteller waits for the listener to ask what the motorist
was charged with.) The storyteller then responds that the charge
was "armed robbery."
Submitter comment:
This joke was circulating around the Detroit area in 1992
following several real incidents of objects being dropped from a
freeway overpass onto unsuspecting motorists below.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): PUN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale |