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IN PAKISTAN MANY MARRIAGES ARE ARRANGED BY THE PARENTS
OF THE BRIDE AND GROOM. USUALLY THE MOTHER PICKS A BRIDE
FOR HER SON, AFTER ALL, WHO WOULD KNOW HER SON BETTER THAN
HIS MOTHER. THE MOTHER LOOKS FOR A GIRL WHO IS OF THE SAME
RELIGION. OTHER QUALITIES THAT ARE CONSIDERED DESIRABLE
ARE: A QUIET GIRL, THE QUIETER THE BETTER, LIGHT SKIN IS
PREFERRED OVER DARK AND THE LONGER THE HAIR, THE MORE
BEAUTIFUL. IN SOME SITUATIONS A DOWRY MAY BE INVOLVED.
THE CONTENTS OF THE DOWRY MAY BE MONEY, A HOUSE OR
APARTMENT, OR IN THE FARMING CLASSES, IT MAY INCLUDE
ANIMALS. IN THE HIGHER CLASSES, EDUCATION IS VALUABLE
AND MAY BE CONSIDERED AS DOWRY.
Submitter comment:
KHALID WAS TALKING ABOUT HIS MARRIAGE AND THAT OF HIS
BROTHERS AND SISTERS. WE WERE DISCUSSING THE DIFFERENCES
BETWEEN MARRIAGE IN THE U.S. AND IN PAKISTAN.
Where learned: LAHORE ; PAKISTAN
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Marriage |
Date learned: 11-00-1987
THE MARRIAGE CELEBRATION IN PAKISTAN AMONG THE MOSLEMS IS
VERY DIFFERENT THAN IN THE U.S. THE COUPLE MAY NEVER HAVE
MET BEFORE. THE CEREMONY IS HELD AT THE BRIDE'S FAMILY
HOME. THE WHOLE FAMILY PREPARES THE HOUSE FOR ALL THE
GUESTS. WHEN THE CEREMONY OCCURS THE BRIDE IS IN ONE ROOM
WITH HER PARENTS, FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND THE GROOM IS IN
ANOTHER ROOM WITH HIS PARENTS, FAMILY AND FRIENDS. ALSO A
PRIEST IS THERE. THERE ARE NO BRIDESMAIDS OR OTHER
ATTENDANTS. THERE IS AN EXCHANGE OF RINGS BUT THERE IS
NOTHING SIGNIFICANT ABOUT EXCHANGING THEM. THE PRIEST JUST
TAKES THE BRIDE'S RING TO HER IN THE OTHER ROOM, AND GIVES
THE GROOM HIS RING. THE WHOLE PROCESS TAKES A FEW HOURS.
Submitter comment:
THE INFORMANT SAYS IT IS VERY STRANGE COMPARED TO A U.S.
WEDDING. HE SAYS MANY TIMES IT IS A FRIGHTENING EXPERIENCE
FOR BOTH THE BRIDE AND GROOM, BUT MOSTLY FOR THE BRIDE
BECAUSE SHE HAS NEVER HAD ANY SOCIAL, EMOTIONAL OR INTIMATE
CONTACT WITH A MAN BEFORE.
Where learned: LAHORE ; PAKISTAN
Keyword(s): CEREMONY
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Marriage |
Date learned: 11-00-1987
AFTER A MOSLEM PAKISTANI COUPLE GET MARRIED, THE
MOTHER OF THE GROOM, TAKES THE BRIDE ASIDE AND GIVES
HER THE MOSLEM "BIBLE," THE KORAN. THE BRIDE MUST
THEN READ FROM THE BOOK TO PROVE THAT SHE WAS
EDUCATED IN THE RELIGION.
Submitter comment:
INFORMANT SAYS THIS IS COMMON PRACTICE. THE BRIDE
WOULD HAVE TO KNOW HOW TO READ ARABIC IN ORDER TO
READ THE KORAN, IT PROVES SHE IS EDUCATED AND
UNDERSTANDS THE FAITH.
Where learned: LAHORE ; PAKISTAN
Keyword(s): RELIGION
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Church CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Marriage |
Date learned: 11-00-1987
AT A POLISH WEDDING, BREAD AND SALT ARE GIVEN TO THE BRIDE AND
GROOM AS SIGNS OF STABILITY AND FERTILITY.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Marriage BELIEF -- Mineral BELIEF -- Marriage |
Date learned: 10-10-1987
EVERY YEAR ON EASTER MONDAY, WHEN I WAS YOUNG, MY FRIENDS
AND I WOULD PREPARE LUNCH FOR THE YOUNG BOYS
THAT WE KNEW. WE WOULD SPRINKLE THE LIVING ROOM AREA WITH
COLOGNE AND DRESS IN OUR SUNDAY BEST. A BOY WOULD COME TO
YOUR HOUSE FOR A PRIVATE LUNCHEON. THIS WAS A GET
ACQUAINTED PERIOD FOR THE GIRL AND BOY. IT WAS USED AS
A FORM OF COURTSHIP. IT WAS SAID THAT IF YOU WERE TO BE
COURTED BY THE MAN YOU WERE TO MARRY ON EASTER MONDAY,
YOUR MARRIAGE WOULD BE SO MUCH MORE BLESSED.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Date learned: 00-00-1940
IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL WE HAD A HUGE SEWER PIPE
ON THE PLAYGROUND THAT WAS PAINTED RED. WE HAD A CUSTOM
THAT IF YOU WANTED TO GO WITH A GIRL YOU HAD TO WALK THROUGH
THE PIPE WITH THE GIRL WHILE HOLDING HANDS. SOMETIMES THE
TWO PARTICIPANTS EVEN KISSED UPON EXITING BUT THIS WAS
PRETTY RARE. TO BREAK UP WITH THE GIRL YOU HAD TO WALK
BACKWARDS THROUGH THE PIPE ONE AT A TIME, WITH THE BOY
NORMALLY GOING THROUGH FIRST.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SAGINAW
| Subject headings: | Favorites CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Marriage |
Date learned: 01-01-1976
Balinese Custom
One week after the wedding the groom brings pastries
to the bride's parent's home, a sign of acceptance.
Where learned: Bali ; Indonesia
Date learned: 00-00-1990
It is customary in my family when someone gets married to give
the bride the following: something old, something new,
something borrowed, something blue.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN
| Subject headings: | 686 Properties attributed to specific numbers or numerals individually. CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Marriage BELIEF -- Color |
Date learned: 01-00-1980
In order to find out if we were compatible with another
person, usually a boy we liked, we used to do a test.
First you write down the name of the person you like
and your name on paper. Then under both names you draw
a line across. Under the line you write the numbers one
through five. Then under the number one you write the
number of A's in the names, under the number two you
write the number of E's and so on with I, O, and U.
Then you add the numbers and the more times you have
the same numbers next to each other the more compatible
you are.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Marriage |
Date learned: 00-00-1982
Wedding Custom
All females must wear white; that includes the bride.
Bride has to wear veil to cover her whole face.
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Marriage |
Date learned: 00001984CA
Good Luck (Italian)
Throw salt over left shoulder for good luck. The
paternal grandfather does this on the day of a wedding
or birth.
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Street Trip Relations between relatives, friends, host and guest Social class Rank CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Birth CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Marriage BELIEF -- Good luck |
Date learned: 00001972CA
Yugoslavian Wedding
Each side has 14 people standing up in the wedding.
No one in the wedding party can be married, except
for the maid of honor.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UTICA
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Marriage BELIEF -- Number P686.1.14 |
Date learned: 11-16-1990
Yugoslavian Wedding
Each person in the wedding party has
to give the bride and groom a party within one
year. This is 34 parties in all.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UTICA
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Marriage BELIEF -- Number P686.1.33 |
Date learned: 11-16-1990
Yugoslavian Wedding
When the guests arrive, they must knock on the bride's
bedroom door. When she opens the door they must offer
her money. If the bride doesn't feel it is enough, she
won't let the guest in to visit her.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UTICA
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Street Trip Relations between relatives, friends, host and guest Social class Rank CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Marriage |
Date learned: 11-16-1990
In Russia, newlyweds place flowers at the nearest statue
of Lenin for good luck throughout their marriage.
Where learned: NEW JERSEY ; Tuckerton
| Subject headings: | 686 Properties attributed to specific numbers or numerals individually. CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Marriage BELIEF -- Plant BELIEF -- Marriage BELIEF -- Good luck |
Prior to 1951, at weddings they used fruitcake for a wedding
cake and wrapped pieces in cellophane, then wrapped in a
a doily. The couple then visited each individual guest and
gave them a piece of cake with a note that said thank you for
sharing in this joyous occasion or something to that effect.
Submitter comment:
The informant did not know if this was still practiced, but at
the last wedding she attended they did not do this.
Where learned: CANADA ; ONTARIO
Keyword(s): GIFT
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Marriage |
Date learned: 00-00-1951
In many English Weddings, the shoe of the bride is thrown
by the principal bridesmaid, and the others run after it.
It is supposed that she who gets it will be married first.
It is then thrown amongst the men and he who is hit
will be first wedded.
Submitter comment: Old English custom.
Where learned: ENGLAND ; LONDON
| Subject headings: | 686 Properties attributed to specific numbers or numerals individually. CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Marriage BELIEF -- Use of Object |
Date learned: 00-00-1990
Mock Wedding
It is a tradition in Marcie's Polish family to have a
mock wedding, the day after an actual wedding ceremony
takes place in the family. All the guests assume positions
in the wedding, and act out another wedding and reception.
They sometimes dress in strange outfits, and invent humorous
themes for the various positions in the wedding party.
Examples: a jilted lover, bride dresses like a whore, the
groom is too drunk to stand up straight, etc.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; JACKSON
Keyword(s): pretend
James Callow Keyword(s): HUMOR
| Subject headings: | Favorites DRAMA -- Secular CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Marriage |
Date learned: 00001970S
NEVER GET MARRIED DURING A MONTH IN WHICH THE BRIDE OR THE
GROOM WAS BORN. IF THIS HAPPENS IT WILL TAKE AT LEAST 7 YEARS TO
CONCEIVE A CHILD.
Where learned: CHICAGO
| Subject headings: | 686 Seven / Sevenths / Several CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Marriage BELIEF -- Birth BELIEF -- Measure of time Month |
Date learned: 00001940S
At Oakland Sanctified Church no wedding rings are allowed to be
given during the ceremony; wedding watches take the place of the
rings.
Submitter comment:
Leah says this is to prevent the competition of big diamonds
amongst the church members.
Where learned: DETROIT
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Church CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Marriage BELIEF -- Measure of time BELIEF -- Measure of quality Monetary systemMoneyWealth |
Date learned: 00001980S