Offensive content Filter is ON
Your search for B666 returned 173 results.
OCCUPATIONAL JOKE
SURGEONS ARE SO EAGER TO DO ORGAN TRANSPLANTS THESE DAYS THAT BED
PATIENTS WHO WANT TO TAKE NAPS FIRST PERCH A SIGN ON THEIR BELLIES
SAYING, "I AM ONLY SLEEPING." THIS IS TO DISCOURAGE SURGEONS WHO
ARE SAID TO PROWL AROUND HOSPITAL WARDS AND SNATCH AWAY PATIENTS
WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED--BELIEVING THEM TO HAVE DIED RECENTLY.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale BELIEF -- Death Funeral Burial BELIEF -- Medicine |
Date learned: 03-22-1970
MAN LOSES HIS HEAD TWICE
A MAN HAD HIS HEAD CUT OFF BY A TRACTOR ON A VERY COLD DAY. HE
PICKED IT UP AND PUT IT BACK ON. THAT EVENING HE SAT BEFORE THE
FIRE TO WARM HIMSELF AND HIS HEAD ROLLED OFF.
Submitter comment: HEARD WHILE IN SCHOOL SEVERAL YEARS AGO.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Air Weather Fire PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale BELIEF -- Body part Senses Head, physiognomy, face |
Date learned: 08-08-1964
MAN LOSES HIS HEAD
A MAN WAS SKIING ONE DAY WHEN HE FELL IN FRONT OF A TRACTOR WHICH
CUT HIS HEAD OFF. HE PICKED IT UP AND PUT IT BACK ON. THE DAY
WAS VERY COLD AND HIS HEAD FROZE IN PLACE, AND HE LIVED.
Submitter comment: HEARD WHILE IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Air Weather Fire PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale BELIEF -- Body part Senses Head, physiognomy, face |
Date learned: 08-08-1964
THE HUNTERS AND THE VANISHED CITY
THREE HUNTERS WERE LOST IN A SUDDEN SNOW STORM IN COLORADO WHEN
THEY CAME UPON SEVERAL CROSSES IN THE SNOW. THEY WERE TIRED SO
THEY TIED THEIR HORSES TO THE CROSSES, WHICH THEY BELIEVED TO BE
GRAVES, AND WENT TO SLEEP IN THEIR TENT. THEY SLEPT FOR FOUR OR
FIVE DAYS AND WHEN THEY AWOKE THEY FOUND THEMSELVES IN THE MIDDLE
OF A TOWN. THEY LOOKED UP AND FOUND THEIR HORSES HANGING AT THE
TOP OF A CHURCH. THE STORM HAD BEEN SO BAD THAT IT HAD COMPLETELY
COVERED THE CITY, BUT HAD MELTED WHILE THEY SLEPT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Cloud Fog Mist Rain Hail Ice Snow Frost Dew PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale |
Date learned: 11-20-1968
NOT GIVEN
A FRIEND OF MINE FROM LENNON, MICHIGAN, CLAIMS THAT THE TOWN IS
SO SMALL THAT BOTH CITY LIMIT SIGNS ARE ON THE SAME POST.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN ; LENNON
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
EXPLANATION OF A NAME
CERTAIN INDIAN NAMES ARE INDICATIVE OF WHAT THE INDIANS DID FOR A
LIVING. FOR EXAMPLE, THE IROQUOIS WERE WARRIORS AND THE HURON
INDIANS WERE FISHERS. THE HELAWI TRIBE GOT ITS NAME BECAUSE WHEN-
EVER THEY WENT ON A HIKE ONE WOULD ALWAYS CLIMB A TREE AND YELL,
"WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?"
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Explanation of a name PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale |
Date learned: 09-14-1969
THE WHIFFENPOOF
THE 800-POUND WHIFFENPOOF WAS CAPABLE OF RUNNING BACKWARD. IT WAS
CHARACTERIZED BY THE FACE OF AN ELK, ANTLERS, SHARP HOOVES AND
HIND QUARTERS THAT SLOPED ABRUPTLY LIKE THOSE OF A GIRAFFE. THE
BULL WHIFFENPOOFS WERE EQUIPPED WITH TWO ADAM'S APPLES WHICH
CLICKED TOGETHER LIKE A PAIR OF DICE, AND PROVIDED A MEANS OF
CONVERSATION. THE COWS SCREAMED LIKE A SOPRANO SINGING WITH A
SORE THROAT.
THE WHIFFENPOOF UNDERWENT PHYSICAL IMPROVEMENTS WITH MODERNITY,
AND IN ITS MOST RECENT FORM, BORE RED AND GREEN LIGHTS AT THE
STERN. WHEN THE WHIFFENPOOF RAN FORWARD, IT SWITCHED ON ITS GREEN
LIGHT; AND WHEN IT RAN BACKWARD IT FLASHED THE RED LIGHT.
THEIR ENEMY WAS THE TIMBER WOLF.
THE WHIFFS AND THE TIMBER WOLVES WERE IN A CONTINUAL STATE OF WAR-
FARE. THE WHIFFS USUALLY OUTSMARTED THE WOLVES. THEY GOT THE
WOLVES TO CHASE THEM, AND THEN SUDDENLY RAN BACKWARD, TRAMPLING
THEIR ENEMIES INTO THE EARTH.
THE WARFARE BECAME VERY BITTER. WOLVES MOVED DOWN FROM MICHIGAN TO
EXTERMINATE THE WHIFFENPOOF AND THE BATTLE WAS TERRIFIC. THE
EARTH SHOOK FROM THE THUNDER OF THE WHIFFENPOOF HOOVES, AND
KNOCKED PICTURES FROM THE WALLS OF THE PIONEERS' HOMES. THE
WHIFFS HAD THEIR GREEN LIGHTS ON, AND THE NIGHT BECAME SO BRIGHT
THAT SCHOOL CHILDREN COULD READ THEIR PRIMERS WITHOUT THE AID
OF TALLOW DIP CANDLES.
THEY CHASED THE MICHIGAN WOLVES INTO LAKE ERIE; BUT A BIG DISPLAY
OF NORTHERN LIGHTS, OR AURORA BOREALIS, WAS ON, AND THE WHIFFS
BECAME CONFUSED. THEY THOUGHT THEIR COMRADES WERE FLASHING ON THE
GREEN LIGHTS FOR GUIDANCE, AND SWAM AROUND IN CIRCLES UNTIL THEY
WERE SO EXHAUSTED THAT THEY DROWNED. ONE WHIFFENPOOF SURVIVED.
HE SWAN TO A LAKE ERIE ISLAND OFF THE OHIO COAST AND LIVED THERE
FOR YEARS. HE WAS KNOWN AS "OLD OTTO."
BUT ONE DAY "OLD OTTO" ATE A PAIR OF OVERALLS FROM A FARMER'S
CLOTHESLINE, AND THE OVERALLS CLOGGED HIS THROAT. HIS TWO
ADAM'S APPLES WOULDN'T CLICK TOGETHER, AND HE WAS UNABLE TO TALK
TO HIMSELF. SO HE DIED OF LONELINESS.
Submitter comment:
THE WHIFFENPOOF WAS CREATED BY THE HESSIAN MERCENARIES WHO FOUGHT
FOR ENGLAND DURING THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION. AFTER THE WAR MANY
OF THEM SETTLED IN PENNSYLVANIA AND CONTRIBUTED TO THE PEOPLE
KNOWN AS THE PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; LIBRARY ; DETROIT ; DETROIT PUBLIC LIBRARY
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Animal PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
CLOD HOPPER
A RURAL CITIZEN THAT SOMETIMES CONFUSES THE TITLE, TO HIS PLOW
SHOES: A CIVIL WAR VETERAN LIVED WITH US AND HIS SISTER (MY
GRANDMA) COMPLAINED SO MUCH ABOUT HS BURNING PAPER IN THEM
EVERY A.M. (TAINTED THE PANCAKES) THAT HE FINALLY DECIDED TO
SLEEP IN THEM. THAT LED TO THE COWBOY SLOGAN OF DYING WITH
YOUR BOOTS ON.
Where learned: NOT GIVEN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Explanation of a name PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale |
Date learned: 02-01-1971
WEDDING CUSTOM
NANCY HONKS HAS BEEN A LONG TIME GONE. AT HER FOURTH WEDDING
RECEPTION THE GROOM IN REMOVING THE GARTER TO THROW TO THE MALE
GUESTS, HE CAME UP WITH A VARICOSE VEIN. THERE WAS NO HONEYMOON.
Where learned: NOT GIVEN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale BELIEF -- Marriage |
Date learned: 02-01-1971
TALL TALE
ONE TIME A FRIEND ASKED MY FATHER IF HE COULD SEND SOMEONE TO
MILK HIS COWS THAT NIGHT BECAUSE HE WOULD BE GONE. MY FATHER SAID
HE WOULD SEND ME. THE FRIEND SAID TO TAKE AS MUCH MILK AS WE
NEEDED IN PAYMENT. THAT EVENING I MILKED HIS COWS AND TOOK A
GALLON BUCKET OF MILK BACK WITH ME. I WAS WALKING HOME WITH MY
LITTLE BROTHER WITH ME BY THE HAND. IT WAS DARK ALREADY. I HEARD
A HOWL FROM A WOLF. I LOOKED AROUND AND SAW A BIG GRAY WOLF TROT-
TING BEHIND US. I STARTED TO WALK A LITTLE FASTER DRAGGING MY
LITTLE BROTHER WITH ME SINCE HE COULDN'T KEEP UP. I LOOKED AGAIN
AND THE WOLF WAS GETTING CLOSER. WHEN I SAW THAT, I STARTED OUT
LIKE LIGHTNING. I WAS RUNNING SO FAST THAT MY LITTLE BROTHER WAS
DANGLING BEHIND ME, HOLDING ON TO MY HAND. HIS FEET DIDN'T TOUCH
THE GROUND MORE THAN TWICE ALL THE REST OF THE WAY HOME, THAT'S
HOW FAST I WAS RUNNING.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Mount Clemens
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Mammal PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale |
Date learned: 11-08-1968
THE TWO TON CATFISH
IN MISSISSIPPI THE WORKMEN WERE LOWERING THE ROLLERS OF A ROLLER
DAM WHEN THEY JAMMED AND COULDN'T BE LOWERED ALL THE WAY. THEY
FIGURED THAT SOMETHING WAS CAUGHT IN THE ROLLERS SO THAY SENT A
SKIN DIVER DOWN TO SEE IF HE COULD FREE THE ROLLERS. THE DIVER
WENT DOWN AND CAME UP IN JUST A SHORT TIME. THE DIVER WAS WHITE
AND TOOK A WHILE BEFORE HE (COULD) TELL THE WORKERS WHAT HE SAW
BECAUSE IT WAS OBVIOUS THAT SOMETHING HAD FRIGHTENED THE DIVER.
FINALLY THE DIVER WAS ABLE TO SPEAK AND TOLD THE WORKMEN THAT HE
SAW A CATFISH THE SIZE OF A WHALE AND FIGURED THAT IT WEIGHED
AT LEAST TWO TONS. THE WORKMEN ASKED THE DIVER TO GO DOWN THERE
AGAIN AND FREE THE ROLLERS BUT HE JUST WOULDN'T GO DOWN THERE
AGAIN. SO THE WORKMEN RAISED THE ROLLERS TO SEE IF THEY COULD
FREE THEM AND WHEN THEY DID, THEY SAW AN ENORMOUS CATFISH SWIM
AWAY. THEY SAY IT WAS ABOUT THE SIZE OF A SMALL WHALE AND
WEIGHED ABOUT 2000 POUNDS.
Where learned: IOWA ; DAVENPORT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale |
Date learned: 11-01-1968
POPCORN
ONE TIME WE PLANTED POPCORN TO SEE IF WE COULD GET POPCORN ON THE
COB. THE CORN GREW INTO REGULAR CORN, BUT IT GOT SO HOT ONE DAY
THAT THE CORN POPPED RIGHT ON THE COB.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Mount Clemens
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale Food Drink -- Plant food Vegetable BELIEF -- Plant |
Date learned: 11-08-1968
BIGGER THAN TEXAS
THE AMERICAN RANCHER ASKED THE AUSTRALIAN RANCHER HOW MANY ACRES
THE PLACE WAS. THE AUSSIE REPLIED, "ACRES BE DAMNED, OUT HERE
WE TALK ABOUT THOUSANDS OF MILES OF COUNTRY!"
Where learned: AUSTRALIA ; TOORAK ; VICTORIA ; 17 SELBOURNE
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale |
Date learned: 06-00-1967
STUPID EASTERNER
"DUST-BOWL! WHY, WHEN WE GROW CELERY WE HAVE TO USE CONCRETE
PIPING NINE FEET HIGH AND TWO FEET WIDE. WE COULDN'T HANDLE OUR
CELERY BY THE BUNCH. WE CUT IT INTO LENGTHS AND SELL IT BY THE
SUPERFICIAL FOOT!"
Submitter comment: TOLD BY A WESTERN AUSTRALIAN TO AN EASTERNER.
Where learned: AUSTRALIA ; VICTORIA ; MELBOURNE
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale Food Drink -- Plant food Vegetable |
Date learned: 06-00-1960
TALE
I WAAS RESTING ABOUT LUNCHTIME ONE DAY DURING DEER SEASON, SITTING
ON A ROCK BY THE EDGE OF A STREAM. A DEER APPEARED, APPARENTLY TO
GET A DRINK, SO I PICKED UP MY RIFLE AND SHOT IT. THE SHOT WAS
CLEAN AND WENT RIGHT THROUGH THE DEER AND HIT A BEAR WALKING OUT
OF THE WOODS. THE RECOIL FROM THE GUN KNOCKED ME BACK INTO THE
STREAM, POPPING THE BUTTON ON MY SUSPENDERS, WHICH FLEW INTO THE
AIR AND STRUCK A DUCK THAT WAS FLYING OVER. THE DUCK FELL ON A
SNOWSHOE RABBIT HIDDEN IN THE GRASS BY THE STREAM. WHEN I GOT UP
TO ROUND UP MY CATCH, MY POCKETS WERE FULL OF TROUT.
Where learned: NORTHERN MICHIGAN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Animal PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale |
Date learned: 08-15-1969
THE UNDERSTANDING CANINE
MY GRANDFATHER BOUGHT A BEAUTIFUL HUNTING DOG FROM A GUY WHO GOT
RID OF HIM BECAUSE HE COULDN'T HANDLE HIM ANY MORE. MY GRAND-
FATHER COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY THE DOG COULDN'T BE HANDLED, SO HE
TOOK HIM OUT TO TEST HIM. THE DOG RAN AHEAD OF US AND IN A MINUTE
SCARED UP A QUAIL. POW! MY GRANDFATHER SHOT HIM. THEN THE DOG
SCARED UP ANOTHER ONE, BUT THIS ONE MY GRANDFATHER MISSED. THE
DOG TURNED AND GROWLED AT HIM. THE WHOLE THING TOOK PLACE AGAIN,
AND AGAIN THE DOG TURNED AND GROWLED. THEN WE FIGURED THAT THE
DOG WAS USED TO GOOD HUNTERS AND IT DIDN'T WANT TO DO ALL THAT
WORK FOR NOTHING. WE WERE GOING TO GO HOME, BUT WHEN MY GRAND-
FATHER WENT TO GET THE DOG, HE GROWLED AND THEN STARTED TO RUN
IN A WIDE CIRCLE IN THE FIELD. EVERY TIME MY GRANDFATHER MOVED,
THE DOG GROWLED SOME MORE.
THEN, A QUAIL FLEW UP FROM THE FIELD AND MY GRANDFATHER KILLED IT.
ANOTHER ONE FOLLOWED FROM THE SAME SPOT AND MY GRANDFATHER KILLED
IT. THIS WENT ON FOR AN HOUR. QUAIL AFTER QUAIL FLEW UP FROM THE
SAME SPOT AND WAS SHOT. I WENT OVER TO THE SPOT THEY WERE COMING
FROM, AND THERE WAS THE DOG WITH HIS PAW OVER THE OPEN END OF A
HOLLOW LOG. HE WAS LETTING THE QUAIL OUT ONE BY ONE THAT HE HAD
ROUNDED UP INTO THE LOG. HE GOT SO MAD AT MY GRANDFATHER MISSING
THE BIRDS THAT HE FIGURED OUT A SOLUTION TO KEEP ALL HIS WORK FROM
BEING WASTED.
Where learned: NORTHERN MICHIGAN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Animal PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale |
Date learned: 08-15-1969
TALE
WHILE HUNTING IN THE UPPER PENINSULA ONE SEASON, I CLIMBED A TREE
TO GET A BETTER VIEW OF THE TERRAIN. THE BRANCH I SAT ON BROKE
AND I FELL INTO WHAT TURNED OUT TO BE A HOLLOW TREE WITH BEAR CUBS
IN IT. KNOWING THAT THE MOTHER BEAR WOULD SOON BE BACK, I TRIED
MY BEST TO CLIMB OUT OF THE TREE, TO NO AVAIL. SO I GRABBED MY
KNIFE AND WAITED FOR HER. JUST THEN, I HEARD HER SCRATCHING HER
WAY UP THE TREE. I SAW HER AT THE TOP OF THE TREE CLIMBING INTO
THE HOLE REAR FIRST, SO I GRABBED HER TAIL AND JABBED MY KNIFE
INTO HER BEHIND. SHE SHOT UP THE TREE, PULLING ME WITH HER. AS
SOON AS WE WERE OUT, I PICKED UP MY GUN AND SHOT HER.
Where learned: NORTHERN MICHIGAN
Keyword(s): SEE ROBERTS' SOUTH FROM HELL-FOR-SATAN, TALE 71.
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Mammal PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale |
Date learned: 08-15-1969
TRAPPED ON TOILET
A GIRL WAS BABYSITTING AND SHE WENT UP AND SAT ON A TOILET THAT
HAD JUST BEEN PAINTED. SHE COULDN'T GET OFF THE "JOHN." SHE
CALLED AN AMBULANCE AND THEY TOOK HER AWAY, TOILET AND ALL.
Submitter comment:
VICKI HEARD THIS FROM A GIRLFRIEND WHO LIVED IN PENNSYLVANIA
UNTIL SHE WAS 9 YEARS OLD.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BERKELEY
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale |
Date learned: 07-03-1964
STUCK ON TOILET
THE MAN OF THE HOUSE TOLD THE BABYSITTER NOT TO SIT ON THEIR
TOILET WHICH HAD JUST BEEN PAINTED. SHE FORGOT, SAT ON THE
TOILET, AND GOT STUCK. SHE CALLED FOR A DOCTOR, WHO CAME AND
SLIPPED ON THE FLOOR AND WAS KNOCKED UNCONSCIOUS. WHEN THE
AMBULANCE ARRIVED, THEY HAD TO UNBOLT THE TOILET. THE GIRL
WAS THEN RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL AND SHE HAD TO BE CUT AWAY
FROM THE TOILET SEAT.
LATER SHE SUED THE HOMEOWNER AND HAD TO SHOW HER SCARS TO THE
JUDGE TO PROVE THAT THIS REALLY HAPPENED. (IT REALLY DID.)
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale |
Date learned: 08-00-1964
NOT GIVEN
A HITCHHIKER IS THUMBING IN TEXAS; HE GETS PICKED UP BY A GUY
IN A CADILLAC. THEY START TALKING WHEN THE RIDER NOTICES A
PAIR OF THICK GLASSES ON THE SEAT.
"ARE THOSE YOURS?"
"YES."
"SHOULDN'T YOU BE WEARING THEM FOR DRIVING?"
"NO, I'VE GOT THE WINDSHIELD GROUND TO MY PRESCRIPTION."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale |
Date learned: 03-18-1972