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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

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I'M CONCHITA BANANA
AND I'M HERE TO SAY
HOW TO GET RID OF YOUR TEACHER
THE EASY WAY
PUT A BANANA ON THE FLOOR
AND WATCH YOUR TEACHER
SLIDE OUT THE DOOR.

DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, THE STAIRS SHE GOES
WHERE SHE LANDS KNOW ONE KNOWS
AND WHILE SHE'S GONE, THE KIDS HAVE FUN
DRINKING WHISKEY, BEER, AND RUM.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ANTI-TEACHER ; PARODY OF A COMMERCIAL JINGLE

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children

Date learned: DATE NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR.

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SONG

FROM THE HALLS OF BLESSED SACRAMENT
TO THE SHORES OF BUBBLE GUM BAY.
WE WILL FIGHT OUR COUNTRY'S TEACHERS
WITH SPIT BALLS, GUM, AND CLAY.
FIRST TO FIGHT FOR LUNCH AND RECESS,
THEN TO KEEP OUR DESKS A MESS.
WE ARE PROUD TO CLAIM THE TITLES
OF THE PESTS FROM B.S.S.

Submitter comment: ( SUNG TO "FROM THE HALLS OF MONTEZUMA" )
MARY BETH IS A STUDENT AT BLESSED SACRAMENT SCHOOL IN GRAND
RAPIDS, MICHIGAN. SHE TOLD ME THAT HER FRIENDS AT OTHER SCHOOLS
ALSO KNOW AND SING THIS SONG SUBSTITUTING THE NAME OF THEIR SCHOOL.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GRAND RAPIDS

Keyword(s): ANTI-TEACHER ; SCHOOL SONG

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children

Date learned: 10-00-1971

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PARODY, SONG

MINE EYES HAVE SEEN THE GLORY OF THE BURNING OF THE SCHOOL.
WE HAVE HUNG ALL THE TEACHERS AND BROKEN ALL THE RULES.
NOW WE'RE MARCHING DOWN THE CORRIDOR TO GET THE PRINCIPAL.
THE SCHOOL IS BURNING DOWN.

GLORY, GLORY HALLELUIAH.
THE TEACHER HIT ME WITH THE RULER.
SO I SLAMMED HER ON THE BEAN WITH A ROTTEN TANGERINE,
AND THE WHOLE CLASS STARTED TO SCREAM.

Submitter comment: SUNG TO THE TUNE OF THE "BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC".

Where learned: DETROIT ; MICHIGAN, ASSUMED

Keyword(s): ANTI-SCHOOL SONG ; ANTI-TEACHER

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children

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PARODY OF "BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC"

GLORY GLORY HALLELUJAH
TEACHER HIT ME WITH A RULER
I MET HER AT THE DOOR
WITH MY TRUSTY FORTY-FOUR
AND THERE AIN'T NO TEACHER ANYMORE.

Where learned: BUFFALO ; NEW YORK

Keyword(s): ANTI-TEACHER ; EUPHEMISM

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children

Date learned: DATE NOT RECORED BY COLLECTOR.

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RIDDLE

WHAT HAS A CRANK UP FRONT AND A BUNCH OF LITTLE
NUTS IN THE BACK?
A CLASSROOM

Submitter comment: TOLD TO HER BY A FRIEND IN SCHOOL

Where learned: LETTER ; TOLD IN

Keyword(s): ANTI-TEACHER ; PUN

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 11-09-1967

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EXORCISING

MY STEPMOTHER, AN EX-SCHOOLMARM FROM A RURAL QUEBEC
VILLAGE, USED TO SPRINKLE HOLY WATER ON MY FATHER
TO EXORCISE HIM OF THE DEVIL IN HIM
WHWNEVER HR
WHEN EVER HE WOULD BECOME HEATEDLY ANGRY.

Where learned: NOT GIVEN

Keyword(s): TEACHER

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Magic of Speech, Sign, Color

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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COUNTING GAME

THE MOTHER WOULD LAY TOOTHPICKS ON THE TABLE. THE CHILD WOULD
WOULD HAVE TO COUNT THE TOOTHPICKS. THE MOTHER WOULD THEN
EITHER ADD OR SUBRACT TOOTHPICKS. THE CHILD WOULD THEN COUNT THEM
AGAIN. THIS WOULD BE DONE OVER AND OVER UNTIL THE CHILD KNEW HOW
TO COUNT ACCURATELY.

Where learned: WEST VIRGINIA ; MINDEN

James Callow Keyword(s): FUNCTION ; TEACHING

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- C531
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Special Object or Implement
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Street Trip Relations between relatives, friends, host and guest Social class Rank

Date learned: 00-00-1924

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Urban Legend

THE INFORMANT TOLD ME THAT STUDENTS ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT THERE
WAS A PROFESSOR WHO USED TO THROW THE EXAMINATION PAPERS UP THE
STAIRS AS HIS METOD OF GRADING THEM. THOSE THAT LANDED ON THE
HIGHER LEVEL GOT "AS", THE NEXT STEP GOT "BS" AND SO ON DOWN
UNTIL THE BOTTOM STEP WERE THE STUDENTS WHOSE PAPERS LANDED THERE
RECEIVED "FS".

Submitter comment:

HE (THE INFORMANT) TOLD ME THAT THIS PRACTICE WAS ATTRIBUTED TO DR.
H. THEODORE HOFFMAN OF THE ECONOMICS DEPARTMENT AT THE
UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT.

Data entry tech comment:

Updated / 02-24-2011 / TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ACADEMIC ; Grade ; Legend ; MYTH ; Stairs ; Student ; TEACHER ; URBAN

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Human Being

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Language: Rhyme

School's out! School's out!
Teacher wore her paddle out!

Where learned: TENNESSEE ; NASHVILLE

Keyword(s): Entertainment ; Paddle ; RHYME ; SCHOOL ; TEACHER ; Vacation

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Verse without Music

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Verse

The Tutor:

A tutor who tooted the flute
Tried to teach two young tooters to toot;
said the two to the tutor,
"Is it harder to toot, or
To tutor two tooters to toot?"

Submitter comment:

Origin: Grandmother: Sarah Lipchinsky, New York City

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs Added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Verse?

Where learned: Bagley School

Keyword(s): ALLITERATION ; Flute ; Language ; MUSIC ; PLAY ON WORDS ; PUN ; RHYME ; Teach ; TONGUE TWISTER ; Toot ; Tutor ; Youngster

James Callow Keyword(s): TONGUE TWISTER

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

A Teacher's Remarks:

If I want any crap outta you I'll squeeze your head.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs Added By TRD

James Callow comment:

Retort? S570? Taste?

Original Bn [S520] crossed out. replaced with current classification.

Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT HIGH SCHOOL

Keyword(s): Crap ; EUPHEMISM ; HEAD ; Remark ; RETORT ; Saying ; SLANG ; TEACHER

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Entry filtered.

RUMOR ABOUT TEACHER

IT WAS RUMORED THAT OUR ALGEBRA TEACHER , MR. JOHNSON, PICKED
HIS NOSE AND PUT THE MUCUS BEHIND HIS TIE.

Data entry tech comment:

Updated by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): Picking Nose ; Rumor ; TEACHER ; Tie

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Human Being

Date learned: 11-11-1968

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showing 12 items

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