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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

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BRAD JACKSON JR. A DRIVER FOR BRAD JACKSON INC. RELATED TO ME
THE STORY OF A FLORIDA PUBLIC SERVICE COMMITTEE MAN STOPPING
A SEMI-DRIVER NEAR JACKSONVILLE AND ASKED TO SEE THE DRIVER'S LOG
BOOK, THE DRIVER REPLIED, ME SUH, I AIN'T HAULIN' NO LOGS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

James Callow Keyword(s): OCCUPATIONAL FOLKLORE TRUCK DRIVER

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 12-01-1972

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TRUCK DRIVING PROWESS

DURING THE 1940'S AND EARLY 1950'S SEMI DRIVERS
FOLLOWING EACH OTHER ON OLD U.S. 22 (ONE OF THE FEW TRUCK
ROUTES INTO THE NEW YORK METRO AREA FROM THAT AREA [HARRISBURG, PENNSYLVANIA]) USED TO ENGAGE IN A "CONTEST"
BY ALTERNATELY KNOCKING OUT THE ROADSIDE MAILBOXES BY SWAYING THE
REARMOST END OF THE TRAILER.

Submitter comment:

THE INFORMANT'S INFORMANT: JOHN POTERE A DRIVER FOR MCCLEAN TRUCKING. THE INFORMATION WAS OBTAINED IN HARRISBURG, PENNSYLVANIA IN OCTOBER OF 1969.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

James Callow Keyword(s): OCCUPATIONAL FOLKLORE TRUCK DRIVERS

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Special Object or Implement
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion
BELIEF -- Outlaw Criminal Bandit Pirate
BELIEF -- Product or activity of man or animal

Date learned: 12-01-1972

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POLISH FOLK BELIEF

LIPOWY MIOD JEST NAJLEPSYM Z MIODOW.
NIBY DOJZALY BURGUND ZACHOWIYE W SOBIE
ENERGIE STONECZNA. OKRESLENCE 'STARY LEPIES' BRZMCATO JAKO
NAJIOYNSZN POCHWATADLA TRUNKU.
THE HONEY OF JULY IS THE BEST OF ALL HONEYS. IT RETAINS
WITHIN ITSELF THE ENERGY OF THE SUN. THE PHRASE, 'OLD JULY'
RINGS AS THE GREATEST PRAISE OF ITS DRINKS.

Data entry tech comment:

Updated by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): BELIEF ; Botany ; FOOD ; HONEY ; July ; Lore ; Moth ; Old July ; POLISH ; PRAISE ; Saying ; Sun

James Callow Keyword(s): MIDDLE-AGE? ; SYMBOL ; TRANSLATION

Subject headings: Custom
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- July
BELIEF -- Insect
BELIEF -- Sun
BELIEF -- Sign or prediction through Observation of galactic or celestial bodies

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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COMPUTER ROOM GOOD LUCK CONVERSION

WHEN YOU ARE READING YOUR CARDS INTO THE COMPUTER YOU SHOULD RUB THE
CARD READER AND CALL IT POOH POOH. THIS WILL MAKE THE COMPUTER LIKE
YOU AND THE CARDS WILL BE READ IN WITHOUT A HITCH AND YOUR JOB WILL
BE PROCESSED QUICKLY.

Submitter comment: WHILE NOT MANY PEOPLE MAY OPENLY PROFESS TO THE BELIEF THAT THE
COMPUTER CAN LIKE YOU, IT MAY NEVERTHELESS BE WIDESPREAD.
I HAVE ONLY NOTICED THREE PEOPLE DOING THIS, INCLUDING MYSELF.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BLOOMFIELD HILLS

James Callow Keyword(s): MODERN FOLKLORE

Subject headings: Charm / Enchantment / Conjuration
BELIEF -- Conversions

Date learned: 11-23-1979

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TO ERR IS HUMAN BUT TO REALLY SCREW THINGS UP REQUIRES A COMPUTER.

Data entry tech comment: I'M SUPRISED THAT THE COMPUTER DIDN'T REJECT THIS CARD.

Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; RESIDENCE HALLS

Keyword(s): HUMOR

James Callow Keyword(s): MODERN FOLKLORE

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Art Craft Architecture Art, Craft, Architecture
PROVERB -- Proverbial Apothegm Maxim

Date learned: 11-07-1970

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Entry filtered.

POLISH JOKE

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN YOU SEE AN ORANGE SEWER PLATE ON THE
STREET? A POLISH HOWARD JOHNSON'S.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SOUTHFIELD

James Callow Keyword(s): HOWARD JOHNSON'S RESTAURANTS HAVE ORANGE COLORED TILE ROOFS

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Poli

Date learned: 02-00-1980

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CALCULATOR GAMES

GREET YOUR CALCULATOR, THEN ENTER 0.7734 FOR ITS REPLY-HELLO.

Where learned: WASHINGTON DC

James Callow Keyword(s): MODERN FOLKLORE

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Special Object or Implement
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion
BELIEF -- Number

Date learned: 02-00-1980

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CALCULATOR PASTIME

TO FIND OUT A FAMOUS CIVIL WAR BATTLE ENTER 0.7145 AND INVERT-SHILO.

Where learned: VIRGINIA ; FAIRFAX

James Callow Keyword(s): MODERN FOLKLORE

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Special Object or Implement
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion
BELIEF -- Number

Date learned: 02-00-1980

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WHAT DO A SUNDAY GOLFER AND THE MOVIE "CASABLANCA" HAVE IN COMMON?
MULTIPLY 332.375 BY 96 TO FIND OUT-BOGIE.

Where learned: VIRGINIA ; FAIRFAX

James Callow Keyword(s): MODERN FOLKLORE

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Special Object or Implement
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion
BELIEF -- Number

Date learned: 02-00-1980

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TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FROM: PERSONNEL DEPARTMENT DATE: 1/23/87
SUBJECT: STANDARD PROCEDURE?INSTRUCTIONS ON DEATH OF
EMPLOYEE

IT HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO THE ATTENTION OF THIS OFFICE THAT
MANY EMPLOYEES HAVE BEEN DYING WHILE ON DUTY FOR APPARENTLY
NO GOOD REASON. FURTHERMORE, SOME EMPLOYEES ARE REFUSING
TO FALL OVER AFTER THEY ARE DEAD. THIS, IN SOME CASES, HAS
RESULTED IN MUCH UNEARNED OVERTIME PAYMENTS.

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, THIS PRACTICE MUST BE DISCONTINUED.

ON OR AFTER THIS DATE, ANY EMPLOYEE FOUND SITTING UP AFTER
HE HAS DIED WILL BE DROPPED FROM THE PAYROLL AT ONCE,
WITHOUT INVESTIGATION UNDER REGULATION NO. 26, SECTION 0,
"NON?PRODUCTIVE LABOR."

WHEN IT CAN BE PROVEN THAT THE EMPLOYEE IS BEING HELD UP BY
A DESK, TYPEWRITER, DRAWING BOARD, TELEPHONE, OR ANY OTHER
APPLIANCE WHICH CAN SUPPORT THE HUMAN BODY, THAT IS THE
PROPERTY OF THE COMPANY, A 90?DAY PERIOD OF GRACE WILL BE
GRANTED.

THE FOLLOWING PROCEDURES WILL BE STRICTLY ADHERED TO:

IF, AFTER SEVERAL HOURS, IT IS NOTED THAT AN EMPLOYEE HAS
NOT MOVED OR OPENED AT LEAST ONE EYE, THE SUPERVISOR WILL
INVESTIGATE. BECAUSE OF THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE NATURE AND
ORIGIN OF SOME EMPLOYEES, AND THE CLOSE RESEMBLANCE BETWEEN
DEATH AND THEIR NORMAL WORKING ATTITUDE, THE INVESTIGATION
WILL BE MADE QUIETLY TO AVOID WAKING THE EMPLOYEE IF HE OR
SHE IS ASLEEP, WHICH IS PERMITTED UNDER THE PRESENT REGIME.

IF SOME DOUBT EXISTS AT TO THE TRUE CONDITION OF THE
EMPLOYEE A PAYCHECK IS TO BE USED AS THE FINAL TEST. IF THE
EMPLOYEE FAILS TO REACH FOR THE CHECK, IT IS REASONABLE TO
ASSUME THAT DEATH HAS OCCURRED. NOTE: IN SOME CASES THE
INSTINCT IS SO STRONGLY DEVELOPED THAT A SPASMODIC CLUTCHING
ACTION MAY OCCUR. DO NOT BE MISLED BY THIS MANIFESTATION.

IN THE EVENT THAT AN EMPLOYEE FAILS TO ABANDON WHATEVER
HE OR SHE IS DOING AT COFFEE TIME, NO INVESTIGATION IS
NECESSARY AS THIS IS CONCLUSIVE PROOF THAT RIGOR MORTIS
HAS ALREADY SET IN.

Submitter comment: THIS OFFICE MEMO SHOULD BE TYPED ON THE COMPANY LETTERHEAD
USING CURRENT DATE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): PERSONNEL

James Callow Keyword(s): HUMOR ; XEROX LORE

Subject headings: Favorites
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Work Commerce Business
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion

Date learned: 00-00-1970

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TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FROM: PERSONNEL
SUBJECT: ABSENTEEISM DATE: 5/25/70

SICKNESS: NO EXCUSE. WE WILL NO LONGER ACCEPT YOUR DOCTOR'S
STATEMENT AS PROOF, AS WE BELIEVE THAT IF YOU ARE WELL
ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO GO TO THE DOCTOR, YOU ARE ABLE AND WELL
ENOUGH TO COME TO WORK.

DEATH (OTHER THAN YOUR OWN): THIS IS NO EXCUSE. THERE IS
NOTHING YOU CAN DO FOR THEM, AND WE ARE SURE THAT SOMEONE
ELSE WITH A LESSER POSITION CAN ATTEND TO THE ARRANGEMENTS.
HOWEVER, IF THE FUNERAL CAN BE HELD IN THE LATE AFTERNOON,
WE WILL BE GLAD TO LET YOU OFF ONE HOUR EARLY PROVIDED THAT
YOUR SHARE OF THE WORK IS AHEAD ENOUGH TO KEEP THE JOB GOING
IN YOUR ABSENCE.

LEAVE OF ABSENCE (FOR AN OPERATION): WE WILL NO LONGER ALLOW
THIS PRACTICE. WE WISH TO DISCOURAGE ANY THOUGHTS THAT YOU
NEED AN OPERATION, AS WE BELIEVE AS LONG AS YOU ARE AN
EMPLOYEE YOU WILL NEED ALL OF WHATEVER YOU HAVE AND YOU
SHOULD NOT CONSIDER HAVING ANYTHING REMOVED. WE HIRED YOU
AS YOU ARE, AND TO HAVE ANYTHING REMOVED WOULD CERTAINLY
MAKE YOU LESS THAN WE BARGAINED FOR.

DEATH (YOUR OWN): THIS WILL BE ACCEPTED AS AN EXCUSE, BUT
WE WOULD LIKE A TWO WEEK NOTICE. WE FEEL IT IS YOUR DUTY
TO TEACH SOMEONE ELSE YOUR JOB.

ALSO, ENTIRELY TOO MUCH TIME IS BEING SPENT IN THE REST
ROOM. IN THE FUTURE, WE WILL ALLOW THE PRACTICE OF GOING
IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER. FOR INSTANCE, THOSE WHOSE NAMES
BEGIN WITH "A" WILL GO FROM 8:00 TO 8:10 A.M., "B" WILL
GO FROM 8:15 TO 8:30 A.M. AND SO ON. IF YOU ARE UNABLE
TO GO AT YOUR TIME, IT WILL BE NECESSARY TO WAIT UNTIL
THE NEXT DAY WHEN YOUR TURN COMES AGAIN.

Submitter comment: THIS SHOULD BE TYPED ON COMPANY LETTERHEAD, USING THE
CURRENT DATE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): PERSONNEL ; POLICY

James Callow Keyword(s): HUMOR ; XEROX LORE

Subject headings: Favorites
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Work Commerce Business
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion

Date learned: 00-00-1970

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TABLE OF EXCUSES

TABLE OF EXCUSES
PLEASE GIVE EXCUSE BY NUMBER IN ORDER TO SAVE TIME:
1. THAT'S THE WAY WE'VE ALWAYS DONE IT.
2. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE IN A HURRY FOR IT.
3. THAT'S NOT IN MY DEPARTMENT.
4. NO ONE TOLD ME TO GO AHEAD.
5. I'M WAITING FOR AN O.K.
6. HOW DID I KNOW THIS WAS DIFFERENT?
7. THAT'S HER JOB, NOT MINE.
8. WAIT 'TIL THE BOSS COMES BACK AND ASK HIM.
9. I FORGOT.
10. I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS VERY IMPORTANT.
11. I'M SO BUSY I JUST CAN'T GET AROUND TO IT.
12. I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU.
13. I WASN'T HIRED TO DO THAT.

Submitter comment: THIS SHOULD BE PRESENT IN CHART OR MENU FORM.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): EXCUSES

James Callow Keyword(s): XEROX LORE

Subject headings: Favorites
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Work Commerce Business
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion

Date learned: 00001970S

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RUSH JOB CALENDAR

NEG FRI FRI THU WED TUE MON
8 7 6 5 4 3 2
16 15 14 13 12 11 9
23 22 21 20 19 18 17
31 30 29 28 27 26 24
38 37 36 35 34 33 32
1. EVERY JOB IS IN A RUSH. EVERYONE WANTS HIS JOB YESTERDAY.
WITH THIS CALENDAR, A CUSTOMER CAN ORDER HIS WORK ON THE 7TH
AND HAVE IT DELIVERED ON THE 3RD.
2. ALL CUSTOMERS WANT THEIR JOBS ON FRIDAY...SO THERE ARE
TWO FRIDAYS IN EACH WEEK.
3. THERE ARE SEVEN EXTRA DAYS AT THE END OF THE MONTH FOR
THOSE END OF THE MONTH JOBS.
4. THERE WILL BE NO FIRST OF THE MONTH BILLS TO BE PAID,
AS THERE ISN'T ANY "FIRST." THE "TENTH" AND "TWENTY-FIFTH"
ALSO HAVE BEEN OMITTED -- IN CASE YOU HAVE BEEN ASKED TO PAY
ON ONE OF THESE DAYS.
5. THERE AR NO BOTHERSOME NON-PRODUCTIVE SATURDAYS AND
SUNDAYS. NO TIME AND ONE?HALF OR DOUBLE TIME TO PAY.
6. THERE'S A NEW DAY EACH WEEK CALLED--NEGOTIATION DAY.

Submitter comment: SHOULD BE PRINTED IN CALENDAR FORM WITH DIRECTION UNDER IT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): CALENDAR

James Callow Keyword(s): CALENDAR ; HUMOR ; XEROX LORE

Subject headings: Favorites
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Work Commerce Business
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion

Date learned: 00001970S

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A DAY OFF!!!

A DAY OFF!!!
SO YOU WANT THE DAY OFF
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT YOU ARE ASKING FOR.
THERE ARE 365 DAYS PER YEAR AVAILABLE FOR WORK.
THERE ARE 52 WEEKS PER YEAR IN WHICH YOU ALREADY
HAVE TWO DAYS OFF PER WEEK, LEAVING 261 DAYS
AVAILABLE FOR WORK. SINCE YOU SPEND 16 HOURS EACH
DAY AWAY FROM WORK YOU USED UP 170 DAYS, LEAVING
ONLY 91 DAYS AVAILABLE. YOU SPEND 30 MINUTES EACH
DAY ON COFFEE BREAK THAT ACCOUNTS FOR 23 DAYS PER
YEAR, LEAVING ONLY 68 DAYS AVAILABLE. WITH A ONE
HOUR LUNCH PERIOD EACH DAY, YOU HAVE ALREADY USED
UP ANOTHER 46 DAYS, LEAVING ONLY 22 DAYS AVAILABLE
FOR WORK. YOU NORMALLY SPEND 2 DAYS PER YEAR ON
SICK LEAVE, THIS LEAVES YOU ONLY 20 DAYS AVAILABLE
FOR WORK. WE ARE OFF FOR 5 HOLIDAYS PER YEAR, SO
YOUR AVAILABLE WORKING TIME IS DOWN TO 15 DAYS. WE
GENEROUSLY GIVE YOU 14 DAYS VACATION PER YEAR, WHICH
LEAVES ONLY 1 DAY AVAILABLE FOR WORK AND I'LL BE
DAMNED IF YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE THAT DAY OFF!!!

Submitter comment: OFFICE HUMOR

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): XEROX LORE

Subject headings: Favorites
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Work Commerce Business
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion

Date learned: 00001980S

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NOTICE
THIS DEPARTMENT REQUIRES NO PHYSICAL FITNESS PROGRAM:
EVERYONE GETS ENOUGH EXERCISE JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS,
FLYING OFF THE HANDLE, RUNNING DOWN THE BOSS, KNIFING
FRIENDS IN THE BACK, DODGING RESPONSIBILITY AND PUSHING
THEIR LUCK.

Submitter comment: PRESENTED AS A NOTICE TO EMPLOYEES.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): HUMOR ; XEROX LORE

Subject headings: Favorites
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Work Commerce Business
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion

Date learned: 00001980S

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SEASHELL

SEASHELL TACOBELL EASY IVORY OVER.
NOW HERE COMES THE TEACHER WITH ARITHMETIC.
TWO AND TWO EQUAL FOUR AND FOUR EQUAL EIGHT.
NOW LET'S DO OUR EXERCISE.
JUMP UP AND TURN AROUND
TOUCH THE GROUND.
JUMP ROPE RHYME.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): MODERN FOLKLORE

Subject headings: Favorites
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Game Verse Game Verse

Date learned: 00001980S

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Now I lay me down to study.
I pray the Lord I don't go nutty.
And if I die before I wake,
That's one less test I'll have to take.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HEMLOCK

James Callow Keyword(s): Academic folklore

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Belief Belief

Date learned: 00001980S

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My sister and I went to a youth rally when we were in high
school. At the rally we were taught that to grow psychologically
a person needs eight hugs a day plus many other facts that I now
cannot recall. When we came home our parents asked us at the
dinner table what we had learned; we told them about the eight hugs
needed to grow. My dad told us that he could do better than that,
so he has given us twelve hugs plus three for good luck. My
parents live up north and we often communicate by phone or by
letter; on the phone we count to twelve, then to three to give our
hugs to each other. In written communication, we write 12+3 to
give our hugs. This is a tradition that our whole family now
practices to give each other hugs and emotional support.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HOUGHTON LAKE

Keyword(s): Family folklore

Subject headings: 686 Seconds / Twice / Two
686 Thirds / Thrice / Three / Triple
686 Eighths / Eight
Favorites
BELIEF -- Good luck
SPEECH -- Gesture
SPEECH -- To Be Seen

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Faerie: Elves and Time Travellers

There is no such thing as "a fairy," but rather "Faerie" is a place - a half-remembered world perhaps existing in another dimension. "Faerie" was inhabited not by faeries but by elves. These Elves were not diminutive, but tall, pale, thin and fair. They were especially noted for their grey eyes. They are unable to touch iron: suggesting that these were early time-travellers unable to come in contact with magnetic sources without "grounding out" of the earthly dimension.

Data entry tech comment:

Collector stamped a home address stamp onto the card in the place of "collector data."

Stamp reads: Mrs.W.E. Givens, Jr.

They then crossed out the Prefix and first initials [Mrs. W.E.] of the name, and wrote an indecipherable scrawl over the suffix [Jr.]. This scrawl may possibly be Rev. or Esq.

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Original Boggs number P400 was crossed out and P423 was substituted.

Where learned: WALES ; ABERYSTWYTH

Keyword(s): Attributes ; Dimension ; Elf ; Elves ; Faerie ; Fairy ; IRON ; Legend ; Lore ; METAL ; MYTH ; Physics ; Time-Traveler

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Fairy Elf Goblin Gnome

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Goblin Story

A few years ago, in the main plant of Valente's Men's Formal Wear, the general manager, Marty Rapp, and David Palm were cleaning out the drainage wells beside the 50 pound washers down in the laundry. These wells are about 3 feet in diameter and 6 feet deep. Marty, being general manager, directed, while Dave did the cleaning. All of a sudden, Dave found himself being pulled into the well. He was waist deep in the murky water before Marty pulled him out by the arm. Maybe it was well that Marty was there directing, far Max, a vile, loathsome creature that lives in the sewers under Valente's had tried to pull Dave down into his submarine lair. For what purpose, no one knows, but it is certain it wouldn't have been pleasant. From then on, people are cautioned not to walkalone in the laundry in the dark.

Submitter comment:

For us at Valente's, Max is something to blame accidents on. Dave didn't really get pulled into the well, Marty pushed him in. Though, if you ask anyone there about Dave falling into the well, you will probably get the version with Max in it, then the real one.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; VALENTES MENS FORMALWEAR

Keyword(s): FANTASY ; Goblin ; Lore ; Mischief ; OMEN ; SEWER ; Submarine ; SUPERNATURAL ; WATER

Subject headings:

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