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ROSES ARE RED
VIOLETS ARE BLACK
I WISH YOU HAD
A KNIFE IN YOUR BACK.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): SICK HUMOR

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse

Date learned: 00001961-1962

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RIDDLE

Q: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ASTRONAUTS AND BUDDHIST MONKS?
A: ASTRONAUTS BURN FASTER.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GROSSE POINTE PARK ; TOLD IN

James Callow Keyword(s): SICK HUMOR

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 09-20-1972

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PARODY OF "MY BONNIE"

MY BONNIE HAS TUBERCULOSIS, MY BONNIE HAS ONLY ONE LUNG;
SHE SPITS UP THOSE BLOODY RED OYSTERS, AND ROLLS THEM AROUND
WITH HER TONGUE.

COME UP, COME UP, COME UP DEAR DINNER, COME UP} COME UP}
REPEAT CHORUS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): GORE ; SICKNESS

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery

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O-I-C

I'M IN A 10DER MOOD TODAY
AND FEEL POETIC 2
4 FUN I'LL JUST -- OFF A LINE
AND SEND IT OFF 2 U.
I'M SORRY U HAVE BEEN 6 SO LONG
DON'T BE DISCONSOL8
BUT BEAR YOUR ILLS WITH 42DE
AND THEY WON'T SEEM SO GR8.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): DIGITAL SPELLING QUATRAIN ILLNESS ; RHYME: ABCB ; SICK

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

Date learned: 00-00-1965

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ANOTHER NUN'S STORY

ONE DAY A VERY YOUNG SISTER WAS TEACHING IN HER NEW FIRST GRADE ROOM
ONE OF THE LITTLE BOYS IN HER ROOM CAME TO HER DESK AND SAID THAT HE
DID NOT FEEL WELL. SISTER TOLD HIM TO RETURN TO HIS PLACE AND
PERHAPS HE MIGHT FEEL BETTER IN A FEW MINUTES. A FEW MINUTES LATER
THE LITTLE BOY RETURNED TO THE DESK AND SAID THAT HE WAS STILL SICK.
HE HAD A "TUMMY ACHE." SISTER ASKED HIM IF HE KNEW WHERE THE
PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE WAS. THE BOY SAID THAT HE DID AND WAS SENT TO SE
THE PRINCIPAL. MM
SISTER HAPPENED TO TURN AROUND A FEW MINUTES LATER AND SEE THE SAME
BOY SEATED IN HIS SEAT WITH HIS SHIRT UNBUTTONED. QUICKLY SHE WENT
OVER TO HIM AND ASKED IF HE HAD GONE TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE. HE
SAID THAT HE HAD AND THAT SHE TOLD HIM TO STICK IT OUT UNTIL LUNCH
TIME.

Data entry tech comment: KEYPUNCHER CHANGED THE SPELLING OF PRINCIPLE TO PRINCIPAL.
TUMMY ACHE AND STICK IT WERE UNDERLINED.

Where learned: LOCATION NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

Keyword(s): PLAYING SICK

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 07-00-1964

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THE THALIDOMYDE BABY

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE THALYDOMIDE BABY WHO WAS BORN WITH NO ARMS,
TWO LONG LONG LEGS AND BUCK TEETH? HIS PARENTS KEPT HIM IN THE
GARAGE AND USED HIM AS A RAKE.

Submitter comment:

THE INFORMANT HEARD THIS FROM PHYLLIS CLEMENS, MARYGROVE COLLEGE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): CRUEL HUMOR, SICK HUMOR

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Physically handicapped Deformed
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 00-00-1963

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SICK JOKE

"CAN TOM COME OUT AND PLAY BASEBALL?""YOU KNOW THAT TOM DOESN'T HAVE
ANY ARMS OR LEGS." "THAT'S ALRIGHT, WE'LL USE HIM FOR THIRD BASE."

Submitter comment:

THE INFORMANT HEARD THIS WHEN HE WAS IN GRADE SCHOOL IN DEARBORN.

Data entry tech comment:

Updated by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): DIALOGUE, CRUEL HUMOR, SICK HUMOR

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 04-08-1965

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LEGEND

THE INFORMANT, MY FATHER, RETURNED FROM A TRIP TO BUFFALO, NEW YORK
AND WHILE AT THE SUPPER TABLE RELATED THIS INCIDENT WHICH I TOOK TO
TO BE TRUE. MY FATHER, HAVING TIME ON HIS HANDS IN BUFFALO, WENT FOR
A WALK. HE OBSERVED A SIGN INDICATING THAT A DANCE WAS BEING HELD
TO RAISE FUNDS FOR DEAF PEOPLE. HE ENTERED THE ESTABLISHMENT AND
PURCHASED A NUMBER OF TICKETS. HE APPROACHED A GIRL AND THROUGH A
SERIES OF GESTURES (WHICH HE DEMONSTRATED FOR US) MANAGED TO
COMMUNICATE TO HER THAT HE DESIRED TO DANCE. THEY DANCED SEVERAL
DANCES IN COMPLETE SILENCE, WHEREUPON A YOUNG MAN WALKED UP
TO THE GIRL AND ASKED HER IF SHE WERE READY TO LEAVE. SHE TURNED
HER FACE AWAY FROM MY FATHER AND REMARKED, "I WILL BE WITH YOU AS
SOON AS I GET RID OF THIS DAMN DUMMY."

Data entry tech comment:

ANOTHER CARD TELLS THE SAME STORY, SOURCE FROM JACKIE

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): RUDE, SICK HUMOR, CRUEL HUMOR

Subject headings: Favorites
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Physically handicapped Deformed

Date learned: 00-00-1947

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RIDDLE

WHAT'S BLUE AND GOES DING-DONG?
A FROZEN AVON LADY.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): DEFINITION

James Callow Keyword(s): DOOR-TO-DOOR SALESWOMAN ; SICK JOKE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- True Riddle

Date learned: 02-20-1968

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DEAD BABY JOKE

WHY DID THE DEAD BABY CROSS THE ROAD?
BECAUSE HE WAS STAPLED TO THE CHICKEN.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BIRMINGHAM

James Callow Keyword(s): SICK JOKE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 00-00-1983

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DEAD BABY JOKE

WHAT'S RED, WHITE AND BLUE AND TRAVELS AT A HIGH VELOCITY OF SPEED? NO, NOT SUPERMAN, - A DEAD BABY IN A BLENDER.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; CAMPUS

James Callow Keyword(s): SICK JOKE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 00-00-1983

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WHY DID THEY STOP THE LEPER  HOCKEY GAME IN THE SECOND
HALF? BECAUSE THERE WAS A FACE OFF IN THE CORNER!

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN ; SICK JOKE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 10-00-1983

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A FAMILY HAD A BABY WITH ONLY ONE LEG. WHAT DID
THEY CALL HER. ILENE!

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN

James Callow Keyword(s): I LEAN ; PUN ; SICK JOKE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 10-00-1983

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A FAMILY HAD A BOY WITH NO LEGS, WHAT DID THEY CALL HIM?
THEY CALLED HIM NEAL.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN

James Callow Keyword(s): KNEEL ; PUN ; SICK JOKE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 10-00-1983

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WHAT DO YOU SAY TO A QUADRAPLEGIC IN A SWIMMING POOL?
YOU WOULD SAY, "HELLO BOB!"

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN

James Callow Keyword(s): SICK JOKE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 10-00-1983

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WHAT DO YOU SAY TO A HITCHHIKER WITH NO LEGS? YOU WOULD
SAY, "NEED A LIFT!"

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN

James Callow Keyword(s): SICK JOKE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale

Date learned: 10-00-1983

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THERE WAS A LEPER IN MCDONALD'S EATING, WHEN THIS
MAN COMES UP AND STARTS EATING IN THE BOOTH NEXT TO HIM.
AFTER A COUPLE OF MINUTES THE MAN THROWS UP. THE LEPER
SAYS, "I AM SORRY IF MY APPEARANCE DISTURBS YOU, BUT I
WAS BORN THIS WAY." THE OTHER GUY SAYS, "THAT'S OKAY."
AFTER A COUPLE OF MINUTES THE GUY THROWS UP AGAIN.
THE LEPER SAYS, "I AM SORRY. I WILL MOVE TO A DIFFERENT TABLE."
THE OTHER GUY SAYS, "NO, IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S THE GUY BEHIND
YOU DIPPING HIS CHICKEN MCNUGGETS IN YOUR NECK!"

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROSEVILLE

James Callow Keyword(s): SICK JOKE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 10-00-1983

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This a mystery, but anytime my sister got sick, I got a
fever. When her fever went down, so did mine. This happened
when we hadn't even seen each other for a week.

Submitter comment: My sister and I were not twins. She was three and one half
years older than I.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN

James Callow Keyword(s): sympathetic sickness

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Means of Causing or Avoiding Illness

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Little Billy Jokes

Little Billy runs into the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy!!"
"Quick get me a spoon!!"
His mother says, "What for?"
Billy replied, "Johnny threw up in the back seat of the car
and he's getting all the big chunks!"
Little Billy says, "Mommy, why is Daddy running
so fast down the driveway?" To which his mother replies, "Shut
up and reload this gun."
Little Billy asks, "Mommy, what happened to furball, the
kitty?" To which his mother replies, "Shut up, and finish
your meatloaf."

Submitter comment: These are Little Billy jokes. I used to know several of them
all having to do with something gross or disgusting.
Several of the jokes have a certain formula.
E.g. - Little Billy says, "Mommy, why are/is ___________?
To which his mother would reply, "Shut up, and ___________.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HEMLOCK

James Callow Keyword(s): Sick Jokes

Subject headings: Favorites
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 00001970S

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Diarrhea Drip, drip! Diarrhea! Drip, drip!
Some people think it's funny
But they like it hot and runny!
Diarrhea! Drip, drip! Diarrhea! Drip, drip!
Some people think it's nice
And they like it over rice!

Submitter comment: The collector heard this as a child. It's a simple chant
where the last two lines after every "drip, drip" are changed.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): Feces as food ; HUMOR ; ILLNESS ; REFRAIN ; SICK HUMOR

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse Lyrical Verse
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse Lyrical Verse

Date learned: 04-00-1991

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