Dr. James T. Callow publications
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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive
Your search for Do returned 348 results.
KNOCK KNOCK JOKE
KNOCK, KNOCK
WHO'S THERE?
GOLIATH
GOLIATH WHO?
GO-LIATH DOWN, YOU LOOKETH TIRED.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE
James Callow Keyword(s): GO LIE DOWN, YOU LOOK TIRED
| Subject headings: | RIDDLE -- Riddle Question |
Date learned: 00001960S
KNOCK KNOCK JOKE
KNOCK, KNOCK
WHO'S THERE?
NOBEL
NOBEL WHO?
NO BELL, SO I KNOCKED.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE
James Callow Keyword(s): DOORBELL
| Subject headings: | RIDDLE -- Riddle Question |
SONG
MCDONALDS IS YOUR KINDA PLACE
HAMBURGERS IN YOUR FACE.
FRENCH FRIES UP YOUR NOSE,
COKES DOWN YOUR PANTYHOSE.
LAST TIME I WAS THERE,
THEY FRIED MY UNDERWEAR.
MCDONALDS IS YOUR KINDA PLACE.
Submitter comment: INFORMANT LEARNED THIS FROM SOME FRIENDS IN SCHOOL.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): MC'DONALD'S IS A FAST FOOD RESTAURANT CHAIN.
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children |
Date learned: 00001978CA
YOU'RE SO UGLY, YOU PUT THE "U" IN THE WORD.
Submitter comment: AN INSULT LIKE THIS IS CALLED A "CAP." CK[ DOG
James Callow Keyword(s): DOG
| Subject headings: | SPEECH -- Vocabulary SPEECH -- Formula |
SHAGGY DOG STORY
WANT TO HEAR A SHAGGY DOG STORY? OKAY. THERE WAS THIS YOUNG BOY
WHO OWNED A SHAGGY DOG. EVERYONE WHO SAW THE DOG COMMENTED ON
HOW VERY SHAGGY THIS DOG'S COAT WAS. EVENTUALLY THE BOY WOULD
SAY THAT HE THOUGHT THE DOG WAS VERY SHAGGY TOO. IT CAME TO BE
A KIND OF THING WITH THE NEIGHBORHOOD, THIS BOY AND HIS SHAGGY
DOG. SO YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW THE BOY FELT WHEN HE HEARD THAT THERE
WAS TO BE HELD A SHAGGY DOG CONTEST IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD. NATURALLY
THE BOY AND HIS DOG WON, BECAUSE IT REALLY WAS A VERY SHAGGY DOG.
IN HONOR OF WINNING THE NEIGHBORHOOD CONTEST, THE BOY WAS TOLD,
HE WOULD BE ALLOWED TO ENTER THE CITY-WIDE SHAGGY DOG CONTEST.
NATURALLY, HE WON THAT ONE AS WELL, BECAUSE IT REALLY WAS A VERY
SHAGGY DOG. WELL, TO MAKE WHAT SHOULD BE AN INTERMINABLE STORY
SHORT, THE BOY KEEPS WINNING PROGRESSIVELY LARGER AND LARGER
SHAGGY DOG CONTESTS UNTIL HE FINALLY WINDS UP IN THE SHAGGY DOG
CONTEST OF THE WORLD/OF THE CENTURY. BUT HE GETS DISQUALIFIED
ON A TECHNICALITY AND HE LOSES. THE TOENAILS WERE TOO LARGE, OR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
Submitter comment:
THE SURPRISING EFFECTIVENESS OF A TRULY STOOOOPID ENDING
*** SEVERAL LINES WERE APPARENTLY DELETED BY MISTAKE HERE ***
APPEAR TO THE AUDIENCE TO BE AROUND THREE AND A HALF DAYS TO
TELL. THE PERSON WHO IS RELATING THE STORY SHOULD UPON COMPLETION
OF THIS EPIC TOME BEGIN TO BEAM IN A SMUG, SELF-SATISFIED WAY,
OR ELSE GLANCE AT THEIR WATCH AND SAY "WELL, GOTTA RUN."
AT THIS POINT, IT IS ADVISABLE THAT THEY ACTUALLY START RUNNING.....
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Keyword(s): SHAGGY DOG
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale |
Date learned: 00001970S
THE CAMEL STORY
THERE WAS ONCE A MAN WHO WANTED TO BE WEALTHY ENOUGH TO TRAVEL
AROUND THE WORLD. HE DECIDED ON THIS AT THE AGE OF SIXTEEN AND
CAME UP WITH A SCHEDULE TO FOLLOW IN ORDER TO SAVE ENOUGH MONEY
TO GO ON THIS TRIP AT AN EARLY AGE. WHEN HE FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL
HE WENT STRAIGHT TO COLLEGE. HE GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE AT THE
AGE OF TWENTY-0NE AND FOUND A JOB. HE WORKED FOR A FEW YEARS
AND FOUND THAT HE WAS AHEAD OF SCHEDULE. HE THOUGHT HE WOULD BE
ABLE TO SUPPORT A WIFE SO HE GOT MARRIED. HE FOUND THAT HE WORKED
ALL DAY AND HIS WIFE SPENT ALL THE MONEY HE WOULD EARN. HE
DICOVERED HE WAS OFF SCHEDULE AND COULD NO LONGER AFFORD TO BE
MARRIED. HE EXPLAINED THE SITUATION TO HIS WIFE, AND SHE UNDERSTOOD
HIS SITUATION. SHE AGREED TO A DIVORCE. THE MAN BEGAN SAVING AGAIN.
BY NOW HE WAS FORTY-FIVE. HE WANTED TO GO ON THE TRIP BY THE AGE
OF SIXTY-FIVE. HE WORKED AND WORKED AND GOT AHEAD OF SCHEDULE.
HE WAS NOW FIFTY-FIVE AND THOUGHT HE COULD MARRY AGAIN. SO HE
CALLED HIS EX-WIFE AND SHE AGREED TO REMARRY HIM. THINGS WERE
HAPPY UNTIL HE REACHED THE AGE OF SIXTY. HE DISCOVERED HE WAS OFF
SCHEDULE AGAIN AND ASKED HIS WIFE FOR A DIVORCE AGAIN. SHE, BEING
A GOOD PERSON, AGREED. HE NOW HAD FIVE YEARS TO WORK AND BUILD UP
THE NECESSARY CASH RESERVES. FINALLY, AT THE AGE OF SIXTY-FIVE
HE HAD ENOUGH MONEY AND LEFT ON HIS TRIP. HE WENT EVERYWHERE. HE
SAW THE GRAND CANYON. HE WENT TO HAWAII AND DANCED WITH THE HULA
GIRLS. HE SAW ENGLAND AND SCOTLAND AND WENT TO THE VINEYARDS OF
FRANCE. HE WENT TO EGYPT TO SEE THE PYRAMIDS. HE WENT TO AFRICA
ON A HUNT. HE WAS NOW ON THE EDGE OF THE SAHARA DESERT. HE WAS
RUNNING OUT OF MONEY BUT WANTED TO TAKE A TRIP ACROSS THE DESERT
BEFORE HE WENT HOME. HE WAS ABOUT TO LEAVE WHEN HE LOOKED THROUGH
HIS FIELD GLASSES AND SAW SOMETHING OUT IN THE DESERT.
"DO YOU SEE ANYTHING OUT THERE?" HE ASKED A CAMEL JOCKEY.
"NO", SAID THE CAMEL JOCKEY. HE TOOK ANOTHER LOOK THROUGH HIS
FIELD GLASS AND COULD SWEAR HE SAW SOMETHING. NOW HE WAS CAPTIVATED.
HE DECIDED TO STAY AND WAIT TO SEE WHAT WAS OUT THERE. HE WAITED
UNTIL THE NEXT MORNING AND ASKED THE SAME CAMEL JOCKEY IF HE SAW
ANYTHING OUT IN THE DESERT. THE CAMEL JOCKEY LOOKED THROUGH THE
FIELD GLASSES. HE SAID, "I THINK I SEE SOMETHING. IT'S ABOUT TWO
DAYS OUT." THIS MADE THE MAN EVEN MORE INTERESTED AND ANXIOUS TO
SEE WHAT IT WAS. HE DECIDED TO SIT AND WAIT UNTIL HE COULD FIND
OUT WHAT IT WAS OUT IN THE DESERT. BY THIS TIME IT WAS NEARING
HIS DEPARTURE TIME HOME TO THE USA. HE GOT UP THE NEXT MORNING
AND COULD SEE SOMETHING. IT LOOKED LIKE A CAMEL WITH SOME PEOPLE.
HE COULDN'T QUITE MAKE OUT WHAT THEY LOOKED LIKE. NOW HE WAS
REALLY INTERESTED. HE DECIDED TO FORGET ABOUT THE TRIP ACROSS
THE DESERT AND WAIT UNTIL THE PEOPLE CAME INTO THE OASIS. THE
NEXT MORNING HE GOT UP AND COULD MAKE OUT THE PEOPLE WITH THE
CAMEL. THERE WAS A MAN ON THE CAMEL AND A WOMAN WITH A BABY WALKING
BEHIND. THEY WERE ABOUT TWELVE HOURS OUT. THE MAN WAITED
PATIENTLY. AT ABOUT NOON HE LOOKED OUT INTO THE DESERT AGAIN. NOW
HE COULD MAKE OUT THE PICTURE CLEARLY. THE MAN STOPPED THE CAMEL
AND LET THE WOMAN CHANGE THE BABY. AFTER SHE WAS FINISHED HE GOT
BACK ON THE CAMEL AND CONTINUED THE JOURNEY. THE WOMAN TRAILED
BEHIND AND KEPT FALLING IN THE SAND WITH THE BABY. NOW THE MAN
WAS UPSET. WHY WOULDN'T THE MAN LET THE WOMAN RIDE THE CAMEL?
HE DECIDED HE WOULD WAIT AND ASK THE DRIVER. FINALLY AT ABOUT
SIX P.M. THE MAN RODE THE CAMEL IN AND HIS WIFE FOLLOWED BEHIND.
FIRST THE MAN GOT A DRINK OF WATER THEN HE LET HIS CAMEL DRINK.
AFTER THE CAMEL FINISHED DRINKING THEN IT WAS THE WIFE'S TURN.
NOW THE MAN WAS ENRAGED. HE ASKED THE CAMEL JOCKEY, " WHY WOULDN'T
YOU LET YOUR WIFE RIDE THE CAMEL?!!" THE CAMEL JOCKEY ANSWERED,"
BECAUSE IN OUR COUNTRY IT IS A CUSTOM FOR THE MAN TO RIDE THE
CAMEL." HAVING RECEIVED THE ANSWER, THE MAN FINISHED HIS JOURNEY
HOME.
Submitter comment:
THIS STORY WAS TOLD TO ME BY AN ENGLISH TEACHER BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL.
IT ORIGINATED IN THE DESERT DURING WWII. IT WAS PASSED ALONG THROUGH
THE TROOPS AND MADE IT HOME TO THE USA. IT WAS DESIGNED TO AD-LIB
TO FIT THE MOOD OF THE TELLER.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; CHEBOYGAN
James Callow Keyword(s): SHAGGY DOG STORY
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale |
Date learned: 00-00-1980
For generations the Welty family has told the story of
how Levi Welty (1825-1902) had gone "Pikes Peak or bust
in a covered wagon." In the mid 1970's, an acquaintance
of the family familiar with these stories became injured
while skiing in Colorado. During her recuperative time
there, she came across a book recounting the history of
the area, and found a story about the naming of
Cripple Creek by a Levi Welty. The names of some of the sons
mentioned coincided with the family's genealogy, and it
is, therefore, quite likely that Terry's ancestor was
responsible for Cripple Creek's naming.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
Keyword(s): pioneer
James Callow Keyword(s): Eudora Welty ; Pike's Peak
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- B439 PROSE NARRATIVE -- B479 BELIEF -- Explanation of a name |
Date learned: 00001977CA
LIMERICK
THERE ONCE WAS A GIRL FROM MADRAS
WHO HAD A MAGNIFICENT ASS.
IT WASN'T PRETTY AND PINK
AS YOU PROBABLY THINK
BUT WAS BROWN, HAD LONG EARS AND ATE GRASS.
Submitter comment:
THE INFORMANT LEARNED THIS IN 7TH GRADE AT HELEN
KELLER JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL, ROYAL OAK, MICHIGAN
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK
James Callow Keyword(s): DONKEY ; PRETENDED OBSCENE LIMERICK
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Narrative Verse |
Date learned: 00-00-1965
Island Cats
The Key island of Islamorada Florida is a breeding
ground for cats. Mainly due to the countless un-neutered cats
roaming around. The cats are attracted to the back doors of
seafood restaurants waiting patiently for hours. At one time
I witnessed over 20 cats meowing and waiting for the remains
of shrimp, smoked fish, and lobster. A feeding frenzy occurs
when scraps are thrown to them. If a cat in particular is
liked the individual would take it to the veterinarian and
have it de-clawed, neutered, and given its shots. Then
collared and registered.
Where learned: Key Islamorada ; FLORIDA
Keyword(s): Check-up, Doctor.
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Custom BELIEF -- Mammal |
Date learned: 00-00-1991
Spinning a yoyo on a cloudy day is supposed to help make the
sun come out.
Submitter comment:
I did this once before under cloudy conditions and the sun
actually did come through the clouds.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Keyword(s): Up, Down.
Date learned: 00-00-1984
Asking for money from a stranger and getting it can prove
to be rewarding for the man or woman who has given the
money out. For the reason being that "Good Luck" will
follow him or her for the rest of the day.
Submitter comment:
My father seemed very optimistic when he was telling me
this story.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Farmington Hills
Keyword(s): money, green
James Callow Keyword(s): donor
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Product or activity of man or animal BELIEF -- Measure of time WeekDayHour BELIEF -- Measure of quality Monetary systemMoneyWealth BELIEF -- Good luck |
Date learned: 00-00-1983
Shut yo do' an lick yo chil'.
Submitter comment:
This is not a literal suggestion but means that one should
deal with personal matters privately and not let the whole
world be privy to your business.
Where learned: VIRGIN ISLANDS ; Saint Thomas
Keyword(s): an = and ; chile = child ; do = door ; lick = spank (punish) ; yo = your
James Callow Keyword(s): ADVICE
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: 03-00-1991
Fish trap don make noise, but it do good work.
Submitter comment:
A person's effectiveness is not measured by the amount of
noise he makes but by his accomplishments.
Where learned: VIRGIN ISLANDS ; Saint Thomas
Keyword(s): don = don't
James Callow Keyword(s): BRAGGING ; OBSERVATION
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Measure of quality PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: 03-00-1991
If win' don' blow yo won' see foul under cloes.
Submitter comment:
You won't know the true circumstances until something
unexpected happens to upset the normal course of events.
Where learned: VIRGIN ISLANDS ; Saint Thomas
Keyword(s): cloes = clothes ; don' = don't ; win' = wind ; won' = won't ; Yo = you
James Callow Keyword(s): OBSERVATION
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: 03-00-1991
Dead puppies!/ Dead, dead, dead puppies / Aren't much fun!
My puppy died / Late last fall / He's still lying in the hall!
Submitter comment:
The collector heard this when she was a child. It's a simple
song where the words are changed around to add to the song.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): DOG
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children |
Date learned: 04-00-1991
Voodoo
When people left your house, the owner would look up above
the ledge of the door to make sure that person didn't leave any
items that would be considered voodoo. If items were left it was
a sign that a spell was casted on you, your house and your loved
ones.
Where learned: LOUISIANA ; LAFAYETTE
Keyword(s): Vadoo
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Street Trip Relations between relatives, friends, host and guest Social class Rank BELIEF -- Curse |
Date learned: 00001935ca
Enemies
A woman who practices "who-do" told her this when she visited
relatives in Chester County, Tennessee. To get rid of someone
that is no longer welcomed in your home, one should pour salt on
the doorway when the person leaves and sweep the salt out on the
ground.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Lansing
James Callow Keyword(s): Hoodoo
Date learned: 02-10-1992
MAN FROM UNCLE
CONSIDERED A MYSTERY OR WEB GAME. TWO PLAYERS FORM A
BRIDGE WITH THEIR HANDS. THE REST OF THE PLAYERS
MARCH IN A CIRCLE TO MUSIC GOING UNDER THE BRIDGE.
WHEN THE MUSIC STOPS, IF A PERSON IS CAUGHT UNDER
THE BRIDGE HE IS OUT OF THE GAME. IF THE BRIDGE
CATCHES TWO PEOPLE AT ONE TIME, THEY MAY FORM
ANOTHER.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN
James Callow Keyword(s): LONDON BRIDGE
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Singing Dancing Marching |
Date learned: 09-24-1969
To find water that is hidden below ground, hold two willow
branches (or two coat hangers which have been straightened
and then bent into an "L" shape) loosely in your hands. As
you pass over water, the sticks/wires will cross over one
another. When you move past the water, the sticks/wires will
uncross.
Submitter comment:
Elaine swears that her father has been able to discover
water by this method many times. She herself, being skeptical,
tried it and the procedure worked. Elaine has so much faith
in her father's ability, that she plans to have him locate a
new spot to drill a second well on her northern Michigan
property, since the well she has now is sluggish.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
Keyword(s): DIVINATION ; dowsing ; PREDICTION ; WATER WITCHING
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Water BELIEF -- Use of Object |
Date learned: 00001972CA