The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

CRYING KNOCK-KNOCK

KNOCK-KNOCK - WHO'S THERE? - BOO - BOO WHO? - AW, DON'T CRY.

Submitter comment: AGAIN UPON HEARING THE CATEGORY KNOCK-KNOCK JOKES THE INFORMANT
RIFLED THEM OFF ONE AFTER ANOTHER, HARDLY GIVING ME A CHANCE TO GUESS
THE ANSWERS BEFORE GOING ON

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RIVERVIEW

James Callow Keyword(s): CATCH

Date learned: 01-00-1974

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THE NEWLY WED COUPLE

A MAN AND A WOMAN HAD BEEN MARRIED FOR A WHILE, AND THEY
WERE JUST ABOUT TO THE POINT WHERE THE HONEYMOON WAS OVER. IN THE
COURSE OF THEIR MARRIAGE THE HUSBAND HAD PICKED UP ONE HABIT THAT
REALLY ANNOYED THE WIFE AND THE WIFE HAD ONE THING THAT THE HUSBAND
COULD NOT STAND. THE HUSBAND'S WAS THAT HE WOULD SMOKE THESE BIG
BLACK CIGARS AND THE WIFE'S WAS AN UGLY POODLE THAT SHE HAD MANICURED
AND CUT AND SO FORTH. ONE TIME THEY WENT ON A VACATION TOGETHER AND
SINCE IT WAS COLD OUT THEY HAD TO KEEP THE WINDOWS ROLLED UP. THE
HUSBAND WAS SMOKING AWAY AND THE WIFE SAID, IF YOU DON'T PUT OUT THAT
CIGAR I'M GOING TO TAKE IT AND THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW. THE HUSBAND
SAID, IF YOU DO THAT I'LL TAKE THAT DOG OUT OF THE BACK SEAT AND
THROW HIM OUT THE WINDOW. WELL, THEY DROVE ON IN SILENCE FOR ABOUT
30 MILES UNTIL THE WIFE COULDN'T TAKE IT ANY LONGER, AND SHE REACHED
OVER, GRABBED THE CIGAR, AND THREW IT OUT THE WINDOW. THE HUSBAND
THEN REACHED BACK AND GRABBED THE DOG OUT OF THE BACK SEAT AND THREW
IT OUT THE WINDOW. THEY DROVE ON AND COMPLETED THEIR VACATION IN
SILENCE. ABOUT TWO MONTHS LATER THEY WERE SITTING AT HOME, STILL
NOT TALKING TO EACH OTHER, WHEN THEY HEARD A SCRATCHING AT THE DOOR.
THEY WENT TO THE DOOR AND OPENED IT AND SURE ENOUGH THERE WAS THE
POODLE AND HE HAD SOMETHING IN HIS MOUTH, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT WAS?
RIGHT, IT WAS THE ICE CUBE.

THE ICE CUBE STORY
THERE WAS THIS GUY BY THE NAME OF SAM, AND SAM HAD A JOB DELIVERING
ICE CUBES. SAM HAD BEEN DOING THIS JOB FOR 20 YEARS OR SO AND WAS
PRETTY HAPPY WITH IT. ONE DAY THE ICE CUBE COMPANY GOT AN ORDER FROM
THE HOTEL IN TOWN FOR 1000 ICE CUBES AND SAM WENT OUT TO THE ICE
HOUSE AND COUNTED OUT THE CUBES AND LOADED THEM ON HIS TRUCK. THEN
HE STARTED OUT FOR THE HOTEL. ON THE WAY THERE A BUS RAN INTO HIS
TRUCK AND SCATTERED THE ICE CUBES ALL OVER THE STREET. POOR SAM
GOT OUT AND PICKED UP ALL THE CUBES AND COUNTED THEM. HE WAS
RELIEVED TO FIND THAT ALL 1000 CUBES WERE THERE, AND SINCE THE
TRUCK WAS STILL DRIVABLE, HE GOT BACK IN AND CONTINUED ON HIS WAY
TO THE HOTEL. WELL, JUST AS HE WAS ABOUT THERE, IN FACT, WITHIN
A BLOCK OF THE PLACE ANOTHER DELIVERY TRUCK HIT HIM. WELL, SAM GOT
OUT AND AGAIN BEGAN TO COUNT THE CUBES. THIS TIME WHEN HE FINISHED
THERE WERE ONLY 999. SAM THOUGHT TO HIMSELF, IT'S BEEN A TOUGH DAY.
I COULD EASILY HAVE MISCOUNTED. BESIDES, WHO'S GOING TO MISS ONE
ICE CUBE IN A THOUSAND. SO HE DELIVERED THE CUBES AND WENT HOME
AND THOUGHT NO MORE ABOUT IT. THE NEXT MORNING, EARLY, HE GOT A
PHONE CALL FROM HIS BOSS AT THE CUBE COMPANY, AND HE SAID, SAM,
THERE'S SOMETHING WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT, CAN YOU COME DOWN RIGHT
AWAY. SAM SAID, SURE, I'LL BE RIGHT OVER, AND HE DROVE DOWN TO THE
COMPANY NOT PARTICULARLY WORRIED SINCE AS I'VE SAID HE WORKED
THERE FOR 20 YEARS. WELL, HE WALKED IN TO THE BOSS'S OFFICE AND THE
BOSS SAID, SAM, YESTERDAY YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DELIVER A THOUSAND
ICE CUBES
TO THE HOTEL AND YOU ONLY DELIVERED 999. I'M SORRY, YOU'RE FIRED.

BRICK STORY
A BRICKLAYER WAS DESIGNING A BUILDING AND HE DETERMINES THAT IT
WILL REQUIRE EXACTLY 1000 BRICKS TO BUILD. SO HE GOES TO THE BRICK
COMPANY AND ASKS THE SALESMAN FOR EXACTLY 1000 BRICKS. THE SALESMAN
SAYS HE DOESN'T KNOW IF HE HAS THAT MANY BRICKS AND SAYS HE'LL GO
AND CHECK. HE WENT OFF TO COUNT THEM AND COMES BACK AND SAYS, I'VE
ONLY GOT 999. THE BRICKLAYER SAYS, WELL I NEED A THOUSAND FOR THIS
BUILDING, I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. THE SALESMAN DIDN'T
WANT TO LOSE A BIG SALE SO HE SAYS, JUST A MINUTE, MAYBE I COUNTED
WRONG. LET ME TRY IT AGAIN. SO HE WENT BACK AND COUNTED THEM AGAIN
AND THIS TIME HE CAME OUT AND SAID, I DID MISCOUNT, THERE ARE EXACTLY
ONE THOUSAND HERE . THE BRICKLAYER SAYS, WELL NOW, IF YOU MISCOUNTED
ONCE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE YOU THIS TIME? WHY DON'T YOU
GO COUNT THEM AGAIN. THE SALESMAN DID THAT AND CAME BACK AND SAID,
YOU WERE RIGHT. I DID MISCOUNT LAST TIME. THERE ARE REALLY 1001.
WELL I DON'T NEED 1001, I ONLY NEED A THOUSAND. ALRIGHT, I'LL SELL
YOU A THOUSAND THEN. SO THE BRICKLAYER BUYS HIS THOUSAND BRICKS,
LOADS THEM ON HIS TRUCK AND DRIVES OFF TO BUILD HIS BUILDING. WHEN
HE FINISHED IT, HE PUT THE LAST BRICK IN PLACE AND LOOKED DOWN AND
THERE WAS ONE MORE BRICK. SO HE CHECKED THE BUILDING TO MAKE SURE
HE HADN'T FORGOTTEN ANY AND THEN TOOK THE LAST BRICK AND THREW IT
WAY UP IN THE AIR AND WALKED AWAY.

Submitter comment: THIS JOKE HAS TO BE TOLD TOGETHER WITH EITHER SEQUENCE NUMBER 701604
-16 OR 701604-5, ONE OF THOSE IS TOLD FIRST AND THEN THIS ONE
FOLLOWS ONE OR TWO STORIES LATER. IN THE CASE OF 701604-5 THE DOG
HAS, OF COURSE, A BRICK IN HIS MOUTH.
{HERE ARE STORIES NO. 16 AND 5.}

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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THE GNICKS AND GNUS

ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WERE TWO VILLAGES VERY CLOSE TO EACH OTHER.
IN ONE OF THESE VILLAGES LIVED THE GNICKS AND IN THE OTHER, THE GNUS.
NOW IT TURNS OUT THAT GNICK HAPPENS TO BE A DELICACY FOR GNUS AND
GNU HAPPENS TO BE A DELICACY FOR GNICKS. SO IN THE FOREST BETWEEN
THE TWO VILLAGES A LOT OF HUNTING TOOK PLACE. THERE WAS ONE YOUNG
GNU WHO SHOWED GREAT PROMISE AS A HUNTER, SO HIS FATHER TOOK HIM OUT
TO TEACH HIM HUNTING WHEN HE WAS VERY YOUNG. HIS FATHER WAS A VERY
GOOD HUNTER HIMSELF, SO HE FIGURED THAT HE COULD MAKE THIS BOY REALLY
GREAT. ON THE FIRST TRIP OUT THE BOY LEARNED A LOT, AND HE SOON
WENT OUT HUNTING ON HIS OWN. ONE DAY HE WAS OUT HUNTING AND HE SAW
THE BIGGEST GNICK ANYONE HAD EVER SEEN. HE SNUCK UP ON HIM AND SHOT
HIM WITH HIS BOW AND ARROW. THE GNICK WAS SO BIG THAT IT TOOK HIM
4 HOURS TO DRAG IT BACK TO THE GNU VILLAGE. EVERYONE IN THE TOWN
WAS WORRIED ABOUT HIM BEING GONE SO LONG, BUT WHEN THEY SAW THE
GNICK HE HAD SHOT THEY UNDERSTOOD BECAUSE IT WAS THE BIGGEST GNICK
ANYONE HAD EVER SEEN. HIS MOTHER AND FATHER WERE VERY PROUD AND
THEY DECIDED THAT THE NEXT DAY THEY WOULD HAVE A HUGE FEAST FOR THE
WHOLE VILLAGE AND SERVE THE GNICK AT IT. SO THEY HUNG THE GNICK
IN A TREE SO THAT WILD ANIMALS COULDN'T GET AT IT AND THEY WENT TO
SLEEP. DURING THE COURSE OF THE NIGHT THE KID IS LYING IN BED AND
HE GETS AWFULLY HUNGRY, AND HE STARTS THINKING ABOUT THAT GNICK
AND HOW GOOD IT WOULD TASTE AND PRETTY SOON HE CAN'T THINK OF
ANYTHING ELSE BUT THAT GNICK. SO HE DECIDES THAT HE NEEDS A LITTLE
TASTE OF IT AND HE SLIPS OUT OF BED AND SNEAKS PAST HIS PARENTS
BEDROOM BEING VERY QUIET, AND HE SNEAKS DOWN THE STAIRS CAREFULLY
AVOIDING THE SECOND ONE FROM THE TOP BECAUSE IT SQUEAKS, GOES OUT IN
THE YARD, CUTS OFF THE GNICK'S FEET AND EATS THEM RIGHT THERE. AND
IT'S THE MOST INCREDIBLE THING HE'S EVER EATEN AND SNEAKS BACK
UPSTAIRS CAREFULLY AVOIDING THE SECOND STEP FROM THE TOP BECAUSE
IT SQUEAKS AND CLIMBS BACK INTO BED AND FALLS ASLEEP. ABOUT TWENTY
MINUTES LATER, HE WAKES UP REALLY HUNGRY AGAIN. AND HE TRIES TO
FIGHT IT BUT IT GETS WORSE AND WORSE UNTIL HE DECIDES HE'LL HAVE TO
HAVE SOME MORE GNICK OR HE'LL NEVER GET TO SLEEP. BESIDES THERE'S A
LOT OF GNICK OUT THERE AND HE DID ALL THE WORK FOR IT. SO HE SNEAKS
DOWNSTAIRS AGAIN CAREFULLY AVOIDING THE SECOND STEP FROM THE TOP
BECAUSE IT SQUEAKS, AND CUTS OFF THE LEGS OF THE GNICK AND EATS THEM.
THEN HE SNEAKS BACK UP THE STAIRS THIS TIME CAREFULLY AVOIDING THE
FIFTH STEP FROM THE BOTTOM BECAUSE IT'S BEGINNING TO SQEAK AND THE
SECOND STEP FROM THE TOP BECAUSE IT'S SQUEAKED RIGHT ALONG AND HE
FALLS BACK INTO BED AND HE FEELS GREAT. THIS TIME HE SLEEPS MAYBE
AN HOUR, AND HE WAKES UP THINKING ABOUT GNICK AGAIN. AND IT'S JUST
OVERWHELMING, HE CAN'T SLEEP WITHOUT SOME MORE OF THAT GNICK. SO
HE GETS UP AGAIN AND SNEAKS DOWN THE STAIRS BEING ESPECIALLY
CAREFUL IN THE HALL IN FRONT OF HIS PARENTS' ROOM BECAUSE LAST TIME
WHEN HE CAME IN IT HAD SQUEAKED AND ALMOST WOKE HIS FATHER UP. HE
ALSO CAREFULLY AVOIDED THE SECOND STEP FROM THE TOP SINCE IT
SQUEAKED AND THE FIFTH STEP FROM THE BOTTOM BECAUSE IT NOW HAD A
FULL- FLEDGED SQUEAK ALSO. HE WENT OUT IN THE YARD AND CUT OFF
EVERYTHING BUT THE HEAD AND ATE IT. HE WAS A LITTLE GUILTY BY
THIS TIME BUT HE KNEW THAT THE HEAD OF THE GNICK WAS EVEN BETTER
THAN THE REST AND THERE WAS STILL A LOT OF HEAD LEFT. SO HE WENT
BACK UPSTAIRS AND CAREFULLY AVOIDED THE FIFTH STEP FROM THE BOTTOM
AND THE SECOND STEP FROM THE TOP AND IN FACT HE HAD TO BE REALLY
CAREFUL EVERYWHERE, BECAUSE BY THIS TIME HE WAS GETTING PRETTY
HEAVY AND THEY WERE ALL BEGINNING TO MAKE NOISE. HE GOT BACK TO
HIS ROOM AND FELL RIGHT BACK TO SLEEP FOR ABOUT ANOTHER HOUR. HE WOKE
UP AND THIS TIME COULD THINK OF NOTHING BUT GNICK HEAD, AND IT GOT
WORSE AND WORSE UNTIL HE REALIZED THAT HE WAS GOING TO HAVE TO GO
DOWN AND GET THE REST OF THE GNICK. THAT'S WHAT HE DID, THIS TIME
GOING VERY SLOWLY THE WHOLE WAY TO AVOID WAKING ANYBODY, AND
CAREFULLY STAYING RIGHT NEXT TO THE WALL ON THE STAIRS BECAUSE THEY
SQUEAKED LESS THAT WAY. HE GOT OUTSIDE AND CUT DOWN THE HEAD AND
ATE IT AND HE REALIZED NOW WHY THE HUNTER ALWAYS GOT THE HEAD OF THE
GNICK THAT HE SHOT. IT WAS INCREDIBLE. HE HAD TO SIT DOWN UNDER THE
TREE FOR A WHILE TO GET OVER THE EXPERIENCE AND TO WORK UP THE
ENERGY TO GET BACK UP THE STAIRS. AND AFTER A WHILE HE GOT UP AND
MANAGED TO SNEAK BACK TO HIS ROOM VERY SLOWLY AVOIDING JUST ABOUT
EVERYTHING SINCE THE WHOLE HOUSE SEEMED TO BE DEVELOPING A SQUEAK.
HE MADE IT BACK TO HIS ROOM AND FELL DOWN ON THE BED AND LOOKED
AT HIS STOMACH WHICH BY THIS TIME HAD GROWN SO THAT IT MADE A BIG
BUMP UNDER THE BLANKETS. AND HE WENT TO SLEEP FEELING VERY
SATISFIED. THE NEXT MORNING, HIS PARENTS WOKE UP EARLY TO START
WORKING ON THE GNICK, HIS MOTHER WENT INTO THE KITCHEN TO START
PREPARING HER FAMOUS GNICK SAUCE AND HER HUSBAND WENT OUT TO GET
THE GNICK. HE GOT OUTSIDE, SAW THE BONES LYING THERE AND THOUGHT THAT
SOME WILD ANIMAL HAD GOTTEN TO THE GNICK. SO HE WENT UPSTAIRS TO
TELL HIS SON THE BAD NEWS AND HE GOT THERE AND SAW THE BUMP UNDER THE
COVERS AND FIGGERED OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED. HE WOKE THE KID UP AND
GRABBED HIM BY THE SCRUFF OF THE NECK AND DRAGGED HIM DOWN TO THE
KITCHEN AND SAID TO HIS WIFE, YOUR SON ATE THAT ENTIRE GNICK
OVERNIGHT AND I WANT YOU TO GIVE HIM A SPANKING HE'LL NEVER FORGET.
SHE TURNED AROUND AND LOOKED AT HIM AND SAID, PADDLE YOUR OWN GNU.

Submitter comment: C15 IN BRUNVAND'S SHAGGY DOG INDEX

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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BRICK STORY

A BRICKLAYER WAS DESIGNING A BUILDING AND HE DETERMINES THAT IT
WILL REQUIRE EXACTLY 1000 BRICKS TO BUILD. SO HE GOES TO THE BRICK
COMPANY AND ASKS THE SALESMAN FOR EXACTLY 1000 BRICKS. THE SALESMAN
SAYS HE DOESN'T KNOW IF HE HAS THAT MANY BRICKS AND SAYS HE'LL GO
AND CHECK. HE WENT OFF TO COUNT THEM AND COMES BACK AND SAYS, I'VE
ONLY GOT 999. THE BRICKLAYER SAYS, WELL I NEED A THOUSAND FOR THIS
BUILDING, I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. THE SALESMAN DIDN'T
WANT TO LOSE A BIG SALE SO HE SAYS, JUST A MINUTE, MAYBE I COUNTED
WRONG. LET ME TRY IT AGAIN. SO HE WENT BACK AND COUNTED THEM AGAIN
AND THIS TIME HE CAME OUT AND SAID, I DID MISCOUNT, THERE ARE EXACTLY
ONE THOUSAND HERE . THE BRICKLAYER SAYS, WELL NOW, IF YOU MISCOUNTED
ONCE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE YOU THIS TIME? WHY DON'T YOU
GO COUNT THEM AGAIN. THE SALESMAN DID THAT AND CAME BACK AND SAID,
YOU WERE RIGHT. I DID MISCOUNT LAST TIME. THERE ARE REALLY 1001.
WELL I DON'T NEED 1001, I ONLY NEED A THOUSAND. ALRIGHT, I'LL SELL
YOU A THOUSAND THEN. SO THE BRICKLAYER BUYS HIS THOUSAND BRICKS,
LOADS THEM ON HIS TRUCK AND DRIVES OFF TO BUILD HIS BUILDING. WHEN
HE FINISHED IT, HE PUT THE LAST BRICK IN PLACE AND LOOKED DOWN AND
THERE WAS ONE MORE BRICK. SO HE CHECKED THE BUILDING TO MAKE SURE
HE HADN'T FORGOTTEN ANY AND THEN TOOK THE LAST BRICK AND THREW IT
WAY UP IN THE AIR AND WALKED AWAY.
THIS ONE IS TOLD FIRST AND THEN THE OTHER WITH ONE OR TWO IN BETWEEN
THE BRICK IS THEN FOUND IN THE DOG'S MOUTH. THAT STORY (17):

THE NEWLY WED COUPLE
A MAN AND A WOMAN HAD BEEN MARRIED FOR A WHILE, AND THEY
WERE JUST ABOUT TO THE POINT WHERE THE HONEYMOON WAS OVER. IN THE
COURSE OF THEIR MARRIAGE THE HUSBAND HAD PICKED UP ONE HABIT THAT
REALLY ANNOYED THE WIFE AND THE WIFE HAD ONE THING THAT THE HUSBAND
COULD NOT STAND. THE HUSBAND'S WAS THAT HE WOULD SMOKE THESE BIG
BLACK CIGARS AND THE WIFE'S WAS AN UGLY POODLE THAT SHE HAD MANICURED
AND CUT AND SO FORTH . ONE TIME THEY WENT ON A VACATION TOGETHER AND
SINCE IT WAS COLD OUT THEY HAD TO KEEP THE WINDOWS ROLLED UP. THE
HUSBAND WAS SMOKING AWAY AND THE WIFE SAID, IF YOU DON'T PUT OUT THAT
CIGAR I'M GOING TO TAKE IT AND THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW. THE HUSBAND
SAID, IF YOU DO THAT I'LL TAKE THAT DOG OUT OF THE BACK SEAT AND
THROW HIM OUT THE WINDOW. WELL, THEY DROVE ON IN SILENCE FOR ABOUT
30 MILES UNTIL THE WIFE COULDN'T TAKE IT ANY LONGER, AND SHE REACHED
OVER, GRABBED THE CIGAR, AND THREW IT OUT THE WINDOW. THE HUSBAND
THEN REACHED BACK AND GRABBED THE DOG OUT OF THE BACK SEAT AND THREW
IT OUT THE WINDOW. THEY DROVE ON AND COMPLETED THEIR VACATION IN
SILENCE. ABOUT TWO MONTHS LATER THEY WERE SITTING AT HOME , STILL
NOT TALKING TO EACH OTHER, WHEN THEY HEARD A SCRATCHING AT THE DOOR.
THEY WENT TO THE DOOR AND OPENED IT AND SURE ENOUGH THERE WAS THE
POODLE AND HE HAD SOMETHING IN HIS MOUTH , WHAT DO YOU THINK IT WAS?
RIGHT, IT WAS THE BRICK.

Submitter comment: THIS STORY IS USED IN CONNECTION WITH SEQUENCE NUMBER 701604-17.

Where learned: ILLINOIS ; WESTCHESTER

Date learned: 00001960S

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STATUE-MAKER

FOR THIS GAME ONE PERSON IS CHOSEN AS STATUE-MAKER AND ANOTHER AS
BUYER. THE STATUE-MAKER TAKES EACH OF THE OTHERS AND WHIRLS THEM
AROUND (AS IN CRACK THE WHIP) AND LETS THEM GO. THEY MUST STAY IN
WHATEVER POSITION THEY LAND. THE MAKER THEN INVITES THE BUYER TO
LOOK OVER HIS SELECTION OF STATUES, AND THEY GO AROUND STOPPING AT
EACH ONE. THE STATUE MUST EXPLAIN WHAT HE IS AND PERFORM SOME MOTION
REFLECTING THAT PERSONALITY WITHOUT MOVING FROM HIS POSITION (EXAMPLE
IF HE STOPPED IN A SQUATTING POSITION HE COULD EXPLAIN THAT HE IS A
DOG AND BARK AND SIMULATE WAGGING HIS TAIL). AFTER THE BUYER HAS
SEEN ALL OF THE STATUES HE CHOOSES ONE TO TAKE WITH HIM, THAT PERSON
THEN BECOMING THE BUYER FOR THE NEXT ROUND AND THE BUYER BECOMING
THE MAKER.

Submitter comment: THIS IS ONE OF THE FEW CHILDREN'S GAMES THAT I HAVE SEEN WHERE
IMAGINATION DETERMINES THE WINNER. IT IS ALSO DIFFERENT IN THAT
THE WINNER IS DETERMINED BY JUDGEMENT.

Where learned: ILLINOIS ; WESTCHESTER

Date learned: CA00001960

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MARY AND THE LIVER

MARY'S MOTHER SENT HER TO THE STORE TO BUY SOME LIVER, BUT MARY
STOPPED AND PLAYED ALONG THE WAY AND LOST THE MONEY. AS SHE WAS
GOING HOME MARY SAW A DOG SO SHE HIT IT IN THE HEAD WITH A BRICK
AND KILLED IT. SHE CUT OUT ITS LIVER AND BROUGHT IT HOME. MARY'S
MOTHER COOKED THE LIVER NOT KNOWING THAT IT WAS THE LIVER OF A DOG.
BUT MARY KNEW. THE NEXT MORNING WHEN MARY'S MOTHER WENT TO WAKE HER
UP' MARY WAS GONE AND THERE WAS A DOG IN MARY'S BED.

Submitter comment: THIS STORY IS SOMETIMES TOLD AS A JUMP STORY. MARY GETS THE LIVER
FROM A BODY IN THE GRAVEYARD AND THE OWNER OF THE LIVER HAUNTS MARY
UNTIL HE FINALLY SAYS, "I HAVE GOT YOU:"

Where learned: LOUISIANA ; New Orleans

James Callow Keyword(s): GORE

Date learned: 11-05-1973

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GAME VERSE

HAMBONE, HAMBONE HAVE YOU HEARD
PAPA IS GONNA BUY ME A MOCKING BIRD.
IF THAT MOCKING BIRD DON'T SING
PAPA IS GONNA BUY ME A DIAMOND RING.
IF THAT RING DON'T SHINE
PAPA IS GONNA BUY ME A BOTTLE OF WINE.
IF THAT BOTTLE OF WINE DON'T TASTE,
PAPA IS GONNA TAKE ME TO THE LAKE.
IF THE WATER SPLASH ON ME
PAPA IS GONNA WHIP MY B-U-T

Submitter comment: THIS RHYME WAS USED AS A HAND CLAPPING GAME BETWEEN TWO OR MORE
PERSONS.

Where learned: LOUISIANA ; New Orleans

James Callow Keyword(s): EUPHEMISM SPELLING

Date learned: 11-05-1973

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SIGN OF CROSS

NEVER GO BACK IF YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN SOMETHING UNLESS YOU MAKE THE
SIGN OF THE CROSS WITH YOUR FOOT.

Where learned: LOUISIANA ; New Orleans

Date learned: CA11001973

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CHAIR

NEVER ROCK A ROCKING CHAIR UNLESS SOME ONE IS IN IT BECAUSE YOU
WILL HAVE A DREAM ABOUT A DEAD PERSON.

Where learned: LOUISIANA ; New Orleans

Date learned: CA11001973

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WRONG SIDE OF BED

IT IS BAD LUCK TO GET OUT OF THE LEFT SIDE OF YOUR BED. YOUR GUARDIAN
ANGEL SLEEPS ON THE RIGHT AND THE DEVIL ON THE LEFT. IF YOU GET OUT
THE LEFT SIDE, YOU AWAKEN THE DEVIL AND HE LEADS YOU INTO
TROUBLE.THE OPPOSITE IS TRUE FOR THE RIGHT SIDE.

Submitter comment: THIS IS SIMILAR TO THE MORE COMMON SAYING THAT "YOU GOT OUT ON THE
WRONG SIDE OF THE BED" WHEN SOMEBODY IS IN A BAD MOOD IN THE MORNING.

Where learned: PENNSYLVANIA ; WEATHERLY

Date learned: 00001960S

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BELIEF

IF YOU PLACE A WARM BRICK AT THE FOOT OF YOUR BED UNDER THE COVERS
DURING THE WINTER YOU WILL NOT ONLY STAY WARM, BUT YOU WILL ALSO BE
PROTECTED FROM EVIL SPIRITS THAT TRY TO ENTER YOUR BODY. THESE
SPIRITS ARE ONLY ACTIVE DURING THE WINTER BECAUSE THE COLD DRIVES
THEM OUT OF THEIR GRAVES AT NIGHT.

Where learned: PENNSYLVANIA ; WEATHERLY

Date learned: 00001960S

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THE GHOST OF BULLIVA

3 MEN BY THE NAMES OF FELLIN, THRONE AND BULLIVA OPERATED A COAL MINE
OUTSIDE OF HAZELTON. ONE DAY THE MINE SHAFT COLLAPSED TRAPPING ALL
3 OF THE MEN. AFTER LOCATING THE MEN BY MEANS OF TEST DRILLING,
THEY DRILLED INCREASINGLY LARGER HOLES UNTIL AFTER ABOUT TEN DAYS OF
DRILLING THEY WERE ABLE TO PULL THE MEN OUT. HOWEVER, ONLY FELLIN AND
THRONE WERE RESCUED. BULLIVA WAS NEVER FOUND AND IT IS THEORIZED THAT
HE WAS TRAPPED IN A LOWER SHAFT AND DIED THERE. HOWEVER, IT IS SAID
THAT FELLIN AND THRONE ATE HIM IN ORDER TO STAY ALIVE THEMSELVES AND
THAT BULLIVA'S GHOST STILL HAUNTS THAT MINE WAITING FOR HIS CHANCE TO
ESCAPE AND SEEK HIS REVENGE.

Submitter comment: THIS STORY IS TRUE ALTHOUGH THE FATE OF BULLIVA WAS NEVER REALLY
DETERMINED.
CANNIBALISM

Where learned: PENNSYLVANIA ; HAZELTON

Date learned: CA00001965

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JUMP-ROPE RHYME

SHALL I TELL YOU A STORY
ABOUT JACK AND HIS GLORY?
SHALL I BEGIN IT?
THAT'S ALL THAT'S IN IT.

SHALL I TELL YOU ANOTHER
ABOUT JACK AND HIS BROTHER?
SHALL I BEGIN IT?
THAT'S ALL THAT'S IN IT.

Submitter comment: THIS IS RECITED IN TWO PARTS AS SHOWN BY THE BREAK I PUT IN BETWEEN.
THE FIRST JUMPER ENTERS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE FIRST PART AND EXITS
AT THE END OF IT. THE SECOND JUMPER DOES THE SAME THING FOR THE
SECOND PART.

Where learned: PENNSYLVANIA ; SAINT CLAIR

James Callow Keyword(s): JACK-A-NORY ; NUTSHELL NARRATIVE IN VERSE

Date learned: 00001960S

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JEST, ANECDOTE

ON THE HOLYDAY OF THE HOLY GHOST A PRIEST SAID TO A MAN,
" WHEN I
SING HOLY GHOST SHOW YOURSELF, LET THE PIGEON OUT FROM
UNDERNEATH YOUR COAT. " THE CHURCH WAS CROWDED THAT
HOLYDAY AND THE PEOPLE BEING SO CLOSE TOGETHER, CHOKED THE BIRD
TO DEATH. THEN LATER WHEN THE PRIEST SANG OUT, " HOLY
GHOST SHOW YOURSELF " , THE MAN SANG BACK, " HE
ISN'T HERE, HE ISN'T HERE; HE CHOKED HIMSELF."

Submitter comment: THIS IS FUNNY BECAUSE GOD ISN T SUPPOSED TO DIE. THIS WAS LEARNED
IN RUSSIA. THIS ITEM IS TRANSLATED FROM THE RUSSIAN LANGUAGE.

James Callow comment: ANTHROPOMORPHISM ; ANIMAL
DNC[ 1,419
******************** C FILE 1 ********************

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RUSSIA ; Sterling Heights

James Callow Keyword(s): ANTICLERICAL ; PENTECOST

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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JEST, ANECDOTE

ONCE THERE WAS AN ORTHODOX WOMAN AND A CATHOLIC MAN. THE
HUSBAND WENT OUT IN THE WOODS TO WORK AND THE MOTHER WHO
STAYED AT HOME TOLD THE CHILDREN IF THE CATHOLIC PRIEST SHOULD
COME TO THE DOOR TELL HIM THAT NO ONE IS HOME. ONE DAY THE
PRIEST COMES TO THE DOOR AND ASKS THE CHILDREN, QUOTATION
"WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS?" AND THEY REPLY,
"ONE PARENT WENT OUT TO THE WOODS AND THE OTHER IS HIDING BEHIND
THE OVEN."

Submitter comment: CHILDREN DON'T KNOW HOW TO LIE. THEY APPEAR INNOCENT COMPARED
TO THE MOTHER.
THIS WAS LEARNED IN RUSSIA.
THIS ITEM IS TRANSLATED FROM THE RUSSIAN LANGUAGE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RUSSIA ; Sterling Heights

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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SEVENTH BOOK OF MOSES

STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE WHO HAVE THE SEVENTH BOOK OF MOSES. THESE
PEOPLE PERFORM DEEDS OF WITCHCRAFT. MY GRANDMOTHER KNEW A LADY WHO
POSSESSED THIS BOOK. THE LADY TOLD MY GREAT GRANDMOTHER SHE HAD TO
SAY GOOD BYE TO HER SEWING MACHINE. MY GREAT GRANDMOTHER REFUSED. THE
SEWING MACHINE THEN WALKED WITH HER UNTIL SHE SAID GOOD BYE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Sterling Heights

Date learned: 11-15-1973

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THUMP DRAG

THERE WAS A COUNSELOR AT CAMP NAMED JERRY. HE WAS BOSSY TO ABOUT
THREE CHILDREN. ONE DAY, AFTER A CAMP MOVIE, ONE OF THE CHILDREN TOOK
A CLUB AND HIT JERRY ON THE HEAD. THEN THEY TIED HIM UP AND POURED GAS
OVER HIM. THEY LIT A MATCH AND PRETENDED THEY WOULD IGNITE HIM. HALF OF
HIS BODY WAS BURNT. THE NEXT YEAR THE SAME CAMPERS CAME BACK. DURING THE
WINTER SOME OF THE FOOD AND SUPPLIES WERE STOLEN. THE DOCTOR THOUGHT IT
WAS A BEAR. THE CHILDREN CONFESSED WHAT HAD HAPPENED. IT WAS BELIEVED THAT
JERRY WENT INSANE. ONE DAY THEY HEARD A THUMP AND A DRAG. THIS WAS THE SOUND
THAT JERRY MADE BECAUSE HIS
LEG WAS BURNED. ONE DAY HE WALKED INTO A CABIN AND TOOK ONE OF THE
THREE CHILDREN. THE COUNSELOR HEARD THE NOISE AND CAME RUNNING. THUMP
DRAG DROPPED THE CHILD. THE COUNSELOR DECIDED TO GET THUMP DRAG. THEY
FOLLOWED HIM TO A SEWER AND SAW BLOOD AND BONES ALL OVER. THUMP DRAG
SMASHED THE HEADS OF TWO COUNSELORS. ONE COUNSELOR SHOT HIM BUT THUMP
DRAG DISAPPEARED. ONE YEAR LATER HE WAS FOUND DEAD BY A FARMER.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Sterling Heights

James Callow Keyword(s): BEOWULF ; FUNCTION

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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HAUNTED CHURCH

ON ALL SOUL'S DAY IN THE EVENING, A WOMAN WAS WALKING
BY A CHURCH THAT
WAS ALL LIT UP. SHE WENT IN TO PRAY. SHE HEARD A NOISE AND LOOKED UP
AND SAW A LOT OF PEOPLE WALKING AROUND. SHE KNEW SOME OF THE PEOPLE
BUT THEY HAD DIED A YEAR AGO. A FRIEND CAME AND TOLD HER SHE WAS NOT
WELCOME THERE, BUT TO GET AWAY SHE HAD TO WRAP HER COAT AROUND HER
SHOULDERS AND RUN OUT. SHE DID SO BUT THE SPIRITS GRABBED HER COAT.
THE NEXT DAY SHE TOLD THE PRIEST THE STORY. THEY WENT TO THE CEMETERY
AND FOUND HER COAT SHREDDED ALL OVER THE GRAVES.

James Callow comment: COMPARE "THE VANISHING HITCHHIKER"
CN[ FOERSTNER, SCOTT 701049
C1[ 16714 FISCHER RD
C2[ LAKEWOOD, OHIO 14410
DNC[ 1,389
******************** C FILE 1 ********************

Where learned: OHIO ; CLEVELAND

Date learned: 11-25-1973

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CLANCY

CLANCY WAS A COOK AT CAMP OZANAM. HE LIVED IN AN APARTMENT NOW CALLED
ASH. CLANCY WAS BELIEVED TO BE FROM ANOTHER PLANET. ONE DAY CAMPERS
HEARD SCREAMS. THE COUNSELORS WENT IN AND SAW A MEAT GRINDER AND SOME
KIDS. CLANCY WOULD TAKE KIDS AND GRIND THEM UP. HE WAS SERVING THE
CAMP CHILDREN GROUND UP PEOPLE. THE COUNSELORS CALLED THE POLICE AND
CLANCY RAN OUT. THE POLICE SHOT CLANCY BUT NOTHING HAPPENED. CLANCY
RAN ONTO A ROCK AND SHOT UP INTO THE AIR. HE WAS NEVER SEEN AGAIN.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Sterling Heights

James Callow Keyword(s): CANNIBALISM ; INEFFECTIVE BULLETS INVULNERABILITY

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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