The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

THE UGLY BIRD JOKE

MR.SMITH WAS VERY THIN AND PALE. ONE DAY HE WENT TO SEE A DOCTOR. THE
DOCTOR TOLD HIM TO SUNBATHE IN THE NUDE FOR A WEEK. THE FIRST DAY HE
WAS SUNBATHING AND READING THE PAPER WHEN SALLY, THE LITTLE GIRL NEXT
DOOR CAME IN THE YARD. "HI MR.SMITH" SAID SALLY. MR.SMITH IMMEDIATELY
DROPPED THE PAPER TO COVER HIMSELF. SALLY ASKED HIM WHAT HE HAD UNDER
THE PAPER. MR.SMITH REPLIED IT WAS HIS BIRD. "CAN I SEE YOUR BIRD MR.
SMITH?" ASKED SALLY. "MAYBE TOMORROW" SAID MR.SMITH. THE NEXT DAY MR.
SMITH WAS AGAIN SUNBATHING WHEN SALLY WALKED IN THE YARD. "HI MR.
SMITH" SAID SALLY. MR.SMITH AGAIN DROPPED THE PAPER TO COVER HIMSELF.
SALLY ASKED,"CAN I SEE YOUR BIRD TODAY MR.SMITH?" HE SAID "MAYBE
TOMORROW SALLY." THE NEXT DAY MR.SMITH WAS SUNBATHING AND DECIDED TO
TAKE A NAP. HE PUT THE PAPER DOWN TO COVER HIMSELF. NEXT THING HE
KNEW HE WAS IN TREMENDOUS PAIN. HE COULD NOT BELIEVE THE PAIN HE WAS
HAVING. ALSO THERE WERE DOCTORS AND NURSES AROUND. HE LOOKED AT THE
DOOR AND THERE WAS SALLY TALKING TO A POLICEMAN. SHE WAS SAYING,"MR.
SMITH TOLD ME HE HAD A BIRD UNDER THE PAPER AND I WANTED TO SEE IT.
I PICKED UP THE PAPER AND LOOKED. IT WAS THE UGLIEST BIRD I EVER SAW
SO I SMASHED ITS EGGS, WRUNG ITS NECK AND LIT ITS NEST ON FIRE."

Where learned: DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): PENIS

Date learned: 11-24-1973