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JESS HARPER, FROM GODRICH ONTARIO CAME INTO LONDON,
LOOKING FOR A JOB WITH THE RAILROAD. HE WAS 6'6"
TALL AND WEIGHED 240 POUNDS. HE HAD NO TROUBLE PASSING
THE PHYSICAL, BUT WHEN IT CAME TO THE MENTAL PART, HE
LEFT SOMETHING TO BE DESIRED. THE SHARP LAWYER BEHIND
THE DESK IMMEDIATELY BEGAN DRILLING TRICKLY QUESTIONS
AT JESS. "LET'S SAY THAT THERE ARE TWO TRAINS ON THE
TRACK AT THE SAME TIME, AND EACH TRAIN IS GOING 100
MILES PER HOUR. WITH 200 PEOPLE ON EACH TRAIN. WHAT
WOULD YOU DO, JESS?" "WELL," JESS SAID, "I GUESS I'D WAVE
MY HANDERCHIEF." "NO! NO!, THEY COULDN'T SEE IT IN THE
DARK," SAID THE LAWYER. "THEN I'D WAVE MY LANTERN,"
JESS SAID. "NO! NO!, THEY COULDN'T SEE THE LANTERN
EITHER." "WELL, I GUESS I'D WHISTLE AS LOUD AS I COULD."
"NO! NO! YOU COULDN'T HEAR IT ABOVE THE NOISE." "OH!
I KNOW WHAT I'D DO," JESS SAID, "I'D GO CALL MY SISTER
NELLY WHO LIVES ABOVE THE TRACKS." "CALL YOUR SISTER,
NELLY? WHY?" "WELL," JESS SAID, "I'D TELL HER TO COME
DOWN AND SEE THE GODAMNEST WRECK SHE'S EVER SEEN IN
HER LIFE!"
Submitter comment:
WALLY SAID HIS DAD HAS BEEN TELLING THIS STORY EVER
SINCE HE CAN REMEMBER.
Where learned: CANADA ; ONTARIO ; TOP HAT SUPPER CLUB ; WINDSOR
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale |
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ITALIAN TAUNT
DEGO THROUGH SNOW, DEGO THROUGH MUD,
AND WHEN DEGO FLAT,
DEGO WOP, WOP, WOP.
Submitter comment:
HE WAS IN MY ROOM EARLIER IN THE SEMESTER AND WE GOT TO
TALKING ABOUT TAUNTS AGAINST ITALIANS.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): DEROGATORY SLANG FOR ITALIAN: WOP, DEGO ONOMATOPOEIA
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Verse in Other Group of Folklore C800.329 |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
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Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
A NIGGER FROM BIRMINGHAM, ALABAMA WAS CAUGHT RUNNING
A TRAFFIC LIGHT. WHEN TAKEN IN CUSTODY, HE PLEADED
GUILTY. THE NEXT DAY, THE NIGGER WAS TAKEN OUT TO A
FIELD WHERE HE WAS BURIED UP TO HIS NECK IN MUD.
ALL OF A SUDDEN, A HUGE GERMAN SHEPHERD WAS TURNED
LOOSE ON THE HELPLESS NIGGER. THE NIGGER BEING QUICK
MOVED HIS HEAD TO THE RIGHT AND THE DOG FLEW BY.
ANOTHER DOG WAS RELEASED AND THE NIGGER MOVED HIS
HEAD TO THE LEFT, AND THE DOG FLEW BY. A THIRD DOG
WAS RELEASED AND THE NIGGER PUT HIS HEAD TO THE
GROUND AND AS THE DOG JUMPED OVER HIS HEAD, HE
LIFTED HIS HEAD, BITING THE DOG BETWEEN THE LEGS
AND RUPTURED THE DOG. THE WHITE SHERIFF CAME UP TO
THE NIGGER AND KICKED HIM IN THE HEAD AND SAID,
"FIGHT FAIR, NIGGER!"
Submitter comment:
HE HEARD THIS STORY IN 1964 IN SAN FRANCISCO.
Data entry tech comment:
DEROGATORY NAME
Where learned: CANADA ; ONTARIO ; TOP HAT SUPPER CLUB ; WINDSOR
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
ORANGES GROW IN FLORIDA,
CALIFORNIA TOO.
BUT IT TAKES A STATE LIKE MICHIGAN
TO GROW A PEACH LIKE YOU!
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNDATED ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse Humorous allusion to love |
Date learned: 00-00-1960
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CHRIST CAME BACK TO EARTH AND NOBODY RECOGNIZED HIM.
HE WAS WALKING AROUND AND HAPPENED TO STROLL INTO A
JEWISH SYNAGOGUE AND WAS TALKING TO THE RABBI. THE
RABBI LOOKED PECULIARILY AT HIM AND COMPLAINING OF
POOR EYESIGHT ASKED HIM TO MOVE BACK A FEW STEPS.
CHRIST DID. NOW AT THE BACK OF THE CHURCH THERE WAS A
HUGE CROSS (ED. NOTE. WHAT A CROSS WAS DOING IN A
JEWISH SYNAGOGUE I DON'T KNOW. WHEN I QUESTIONED THE
TELLER HE SAID IT WAS JUST THE WAY THE JOKE WAS TOLD.)
AND WHEN THE RABBI HAD BACKED CHRIST TO IT, HE QUICKLY
PULLED OUT A HAMMER AND NAILS AND NAILED CHRIST TO THE
CROSS, SAYING "GOT YOU AGAIN, AND THIS TIME YOU WON'T
GET AWAY."
Where learned: CANADA ; ONTARIO ; RODNEY
Keyword(s): ANTISEMITISM
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Religious hero PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 03-25-1965
TRADITION
A NEW BORN MALAYSIAN WILL RECEIVE RED EGGS AND SMALL GOLD
NECKLACES DURING ITS BIRTHDAY DINNER CELEBRATION FOR GOOD LUCK.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; CAMPUS
Date learned: 04-00-1979
A FUZZY COMPLIMENT
PEACHES GROW IN CALIFORNIA,
AND IN FLORIDA TOO.
BUT IT TAKES A STATE LIKE (BLANK)
TO GROW A PEACH LIKE YOU.
Submitter comment: GEORGIA CAN BE AN INTERCHANGEABLE STATE.
Where learned: PHONE CALL
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse Humorous allusion to love |
Date learned: 08-00-1964
IF YOU SPAT ON EACH GRAIN OF CORN THAT WAS PLANTED, THE CORN
WOULD GROW TALL AND BEAR WELL.
Where learned: NEW YORK ; SIGNET BOOK ; THE NEW AMERICAN LIBRARY ; PAGE 82
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Plant BELIEF -- Plant husbandry Farming BELIEF -- Product or activity of man or animal |
Date learned: 00-00-1945
WHENEVER YOU GO TO A PARTY
AND DON'T GET IN TILL LATE,
REMEMBER IT IS BED TIME
AND DON'T SWING ON THE GATE.
James Callow comment: RDNeedsReview
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; MISSOURI ; GROSSE POINTE ; BIRCH TREE
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse Wisecracks, gags, silly stories, insults |
Date learned: 03-01-1972
To get rid of a tapeworm, you must not eat all day and then
put peanut butter on your tongue. You should then stick your
tongue out and wait for the tapeworm to crawl out. When you see
the tapeworm, you must grab it and pull it out of the body.
| Subject headings: | Favorites BELIEF -- Animal BELIEF -- Method of Curing |
Date learned: 00-00-1960
WHEN YOU GET MARRIED,
AND FAT AND GREY,
JUST REMEMBER THAT GIRDLES
ARE STILL $2.98.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GROSSE POINTE
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse Wisecracks, gags, silly stories, insults |
If dogs howl all night, it means that someone is dying.
Submitter comment:
I heard this from a girl I went to school with. She told this
the morning after her mother had a miscarriage. Her mother had
miscarried during the night while the dogs in the neighborhood
howled.
| Subject headings: | Observation BELIEF -- Mammal BELIEF -- Birth BELIEF -- Death Funeral Burial BELIEF -- Measure of time WeekDayHour |
Date learned: 00-00-1966
If you hang a horseshoe above your door for good luck, the
horseshoe legs must be pointed up. If the horseshoe legs are
pointed down, the luck will run out.
James Callow Keyword(s): POSITION DIRECTION
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Sign Geometric figure BELIEF -- Good luck BELIEF -- Bad luck |
Date learned: 00-00-1957
Brewed chamomile tea taken orally will purify your blood and
cure boils.
Submitter comment:
My twin sister was given this folk cure after having repeated
boils.
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Plant |
Date learned: 00-00-1958
If you kill a snake, it must be hung on a fence until sundown.
If you do not, the snake will come back to life.
Submitter comment:
When I was young, I remember seeing a snake hanging on the
fence all day that my father had killed.
James Callow comment:
See Puckett, Ohio, nos. 30842-30846: snakes, when killed,
won't die or even stop wriggling until sundown.
"A snake won't die until the sun goes down unless you hang him
on a barbed-wire fence." Puckett, Ohio, no. 30847.
| Subject headings: | Favorites BELIEF -- Animal BELIEF -- Sun BELIEF -- Measure of time WeekDayHour |
Date learned: 00-00-1956
If a horse has one white hoof, buy it. If the horse has two
white hooves, take a chance. If the horse has three white hooves,
think hard before you buy. If the horse has four white hooves,
don't buy it.
Submitter comment:
This saying is popular in horse circles. There is some truth
to the saying that white hooves frequently seem to be weaker than
darker hooves.
James Callow comment:
See Wayland Hand, North Carolina, no. 7633, for parallels from
Ontario, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, Illinois, and in particular
Pennsylvania, where "a horse with one or more white feet is
considered more or less impaired in value." Hand seems to think
that such horses are called "white-stockinged"; but our
informant/collector notes that a stocking applies to the leg, not
to the hoof or foot. Also see the OED, s.v. "stocking."
"A horse with one white foot is always weak in it; and if he
goes lame, it will be that foot." -- Hyatt, Illinois (1965), no.
2530.
See Hyatt, Illinois (1
Date learned: 00-00-1956
KRAKOW BELIEF
A LONG TIME AGO, BEFORE THE ESTABLISHMENT OF POLAND AS A
COUNTRY, THERE EXISTED A DRAGON THAT WAS FEARED BY PEOPLE
ALL OVER. HE LIVED IN A CAVE NOT FAR FROM THE TOWN OF
KRAKOW. THIS GIANT DRAGON WAS ALWAYS HUNGRY AND ATE PEOPLE
AS WELL AS ANIMALS FROM THE SURROUNDING VILLAGES. THE
PEOPLE COULD NOT GATHER ENOUGH POWER OR COURAGE TO KILL HIM.
THERE LIVED A MAN NAMED KRAKUS IN THE SURROUNDING AREA. HE
CAME UP WITH A PLAN THAT HE THOUGHT WOULD RID THE VILLAGERS
OF THIS DEMON FOR GOOD. HE TOOK THE SKIN FROM A FLOCK
OF SHEEP AND FILLED IT WITH SULPHUR. AFTER SWALLOWING THE
SHEEP AND SKIN HE BECAME VERY THIRSTY BECAUSE THE SULPHUR
BURNED HIS STOMACH. HE WENT TO A NEARBY RIVER NAMED
VISTULA AND DRANK SUCH AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF WATER HE
BURST. THE PEOPLE WERE SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS THAT THEY CHOSE
KRAKUS AS THEIR LEADER.
Submitter comment:
THE INFORMANT TOLD ME THAT ALL THE CHILDREN KNEW THIS TALE
AND IT IS QUITE UNUSUAL TO APPROACH A PERSON FROM POLAND
AND DISCOVER THAT HE DOES NOT KNOW THIS STORY. GENERALLY,
THE ADULTS DO NOT BELIEVE IN THIS STORY, BUT MOST OF THE
SMALL CHILDREN DO. THERE ACTUALLY WAS SUCH A MAN. THE
CAVE EXISTS TO THIS DAY.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HAMTRAMCK
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Secular hero |
Date learned: 10-09-1971
If you are in a falling elevator, you will not be injured if
you jump up in the air at the same time that the elevator hits the
bottom of the shaft.
| Subject headings: | Favorites BELIEF -- Product or activity of man or animal BELIEF -- Means of Causing or Avoiding Illness |
Date learned: 00-00-1960
FOLKLORE OF OMENS
FIND A HAIRPIN, PICK IT UP AND YOU WILL MAKE A NEW FRIEND.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Street Trip Relations between relatives, friends, host and guest Social class Rank BELIEF -- Use of Object |
Date learned: CA00001915
Thunder is really potatoes rolling down a hill after God
spills a cart full of them.
Submitter comment:
This was told to children at one time to prevent them from
being afraid of thunder.
James Callow Keyword(s): FUNCTION
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Gods BELIEF -- Lightning Thunder BELIEF -- Weather sign or control |
Date learned: 00-00-1956