ELEPHANT JOKE

WHY DO ELEPHANTS WEAR RED TENNIS SHOES?
TO HIDE IN THE STRAWBERRY FIELDS.
DID YOU EVER SEE AN ELEPHANT IN A STRAWBERRY FIELD?
THEY HIDE PRETTY GOOD, DON'T THEY?

Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT

Keyword(s): COMPARE LION POWDER SHAGGY DOG STORY

Date learned: 04-09-1967

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LITTLE RABBIT FOO-FOO

( SONG ) LITTLE RABBIT FOO-FOO RUNNIN' THROUGH THE FOREST
SCOOPIN' UP THE FIELD MICE AND HITTIN' THEM OVER THE HEAD.

( SPOKEN ) AND ALONG COME THE GOOD FAIRY...AND SHE SAID,
" LITTLE RABBIT FOO-FOO, I'LL GIVE YOU 3 CHANCES,
( SUNG ) I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU RUNNIN' THROUGH THE FOREST, SCOOPIN'
UP THE FIELD MICE AND HITTIN' THEM OVER THE HEAD--AND--
IF YOU DON'T DO WHAT I TELL YOU, I'LL TURN YOU INTO A GOON " .
BUT THE NEXT DAY--

(SUNG) LITTLE RABBIT FOO-FOO WAS RUNNIN' THROUGH THE FOREST,
SCOOPIN' UP THE FIELD MICE AND HITTIN' THEM OVER THE HEAD.
( SPOKEN ) AND ALONG CAME THE GOOD FAIRY...AND SHE SAID,
" LITTLE RABBIT FOO-FOO, I'LL GIVE YOU 2 CHANCES, ETC.
BUT THE NEXT DAY--

( REPEATED, BUT NOW WITH ONLY 1 CHANCE )
( SPOKEN ) FOO-FOO BLEW HIS CHANCES, SO THE FAIRY TURNED HIM INTO A
GOON, AND
NARRATOR 1 " DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE MORAL IS?"
NARRATOR 2 " I SURE DO, "
( TOGETHER IN UNISON ) " HARE TODAY, GOON TOMORROW. "

Submitter comment: INFORMANT SANG THIS SONG FOR ME BY HERSELF, BUT IT ACTUALLY SHOULD
BE DONE WITH TWO PEOPLE, ONE ACTING AS NARRATOR AND THE OTHER AS
THE GOOD FAIRY. THE TUNE SHOULD BE SUNG TO THIS MELODY:
" G-G-G-A-B ( REST ) B ( REST ) - A-G-A-B-G-D
GGG-A-B-B-A-G-A-B-G " ( GUITAR NOTES )

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ANIMAL ; BRUNVAND C30 ; CANTE FABLE ; PUN ; SHAGGY DOG CANTE FABLE ; THE RABBIT THAT WAS CHANGED INTO A GOON

Date learned: 12-02-1971

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SHAGGY DOG STORY

WANT TO HEAR A SHAGGY DOG STORY? OKAY. THERE WAS THIS YOUNG BOY
WHO OWNED A SHAGGY DOG. EVERYONE WHO SAW THE DOG COMMENTED ON
HOW VERY SHAGGY THIS DOG'S COAT WAS. EVENTUALLY THE BOY WOULD
SAY THAT HE THOUGHT THE DOG WAS VERY SHAGGY TOO. IT CAME TO BE
A KIND OF THING WITH THE NEIGHBORHOOD, THIS BOY AND HIS SHAGGY
DOG. SO YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW THE BOY FELT WHEN HE HEARD THAT THERE
WAS TO BE HELD A SHAGGY DOG CONTEST IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD. NATURALLY
THE BOY AND HIS DOG WON, BECAUSE IT REALLY WAS A VERY SHAGGY DOG.
IN HONOR OF WINNING THE NEIGHBORHOOD CONTEST, THE BOY WAS TOLD,
HE WOULD BE ALLOWED TO ENTER THE CITY-WIDE SHAGGY DOG CONTEST.
NATURALLY, HE WON THAT ONE AS WELL, BECAUSE IT REALLY WAS A VERY
SHAGGY DOG. WELL, TO MAKE WHAT SHOULD BE AN INTERMINABLE STORY
SHORT, THE BOY KEEPS WINNING PROGRESSIVELY LARGER AND LARGER
SHAGGY DOG CONTESTS UNTIL HE FINALLY WINDS UP IN THE SHAGGY DOG
CONTEST OF THE WORLD/OF THE CENTURY. BUT HE GETS DISQUALIFIED
ON A TECHNICALITY AND HE LOSES. THE TOENAILS WERE TOO LARGE, OR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

Submitter comment: THE SURPRISING EFFECTIVENESS OF A TRULY STOOOOPID ENDING
*** SEVERAL LINES WERE APPARENTLY DELETED BY MISTAKE HERE ***
APPEAR TO THE AUDIENCE TO BE AROUND THREE AND A HALF DAYS TO
TELL. THE PERSON WHO IS RELATING THE STORY SHOULD UPON COMPLETION
OF THIS EPIC TOME BEGIN TO BEAM IN A SMUG, SELF-SATISFIED WAY,
OR ELSE GLANCE AT THEIR WATCH AND SAY "WELL, GOTTA RUN."
AT THIS POINT, IT IS ADVISABLE THAT THEY ACTUALLY START RUNNING.....

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): SHAGGY DOG

Date learned: 00001970S

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THE CAMEL STORY

THERE WAS ONCE A MAN WHO WANTED TO BE WEALTHY ENOUGH TO TRAVEL
AROUND THE WORLD. HE DECIDED ON THIS AT THE AGE OF SIXTEEN AND
CAME UP WITH A SCHEDULE TO FOLLOW IN ORDER TO SAVE ENOUGH MONEY
TO GO ON THIS TRIP AT AN EARLY AGE. WHEN HE FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL
HE WENT STRAIGHT TO COLLEGE. HE GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE AT THE
AGE OF TWENTY-0NE AND FOUND A JOB. HE WORKED FOR A FEW YEARS
AND FOUND THAT HE WAS AHEAD OF SCHEDULE. HE THOUGHT HE WOULD BE
ABLE TO SUPPORT A WIFE SO HE GOT MARRIED. HE FOUND THAT HE WORKED
ALL DAY AND HIS WIFE SPENT ALL THE MONEY HE WOULD EARN. HE
DICOVERED HE WAS OFF SCHEDULE AND COULD NO LONGER AFFORD TO BE
MARRIED. HE EXPLAINED THE SITUATION TO HIS WIFE, AND SHE UNDERSTOOD
HIS SITUATION. SHE AGREED TO A DIVORCE. THE MAN BEGAN SAVING AGAIN.
BY NOW HE WAS FORTY-FIVE. HE WANTED TO GO ON THE TRIP BY THE AGE
OF SIXTY-FIVE. HE WORKED AND WORKED AND GOT AHEAD OF SCHEDULE.
HE WAS NOW FIFTY-FIVE AND THOUGHT HE COULD MARRY AGAIN. SO HE
CALLED HIS EX-WIFE AND SHE AGREED TO REMARRY HIM. THINGS WERE
HAPPY UNTIL HE REACHED THE AGE OF SIXTY. HE DISCOVERED HE WAS OFF
SCHEDULE AGAIN AND ASKED HIS WIFE FOR A DIVORCE AGAIN. SHE, BEING
A GOOD PERSON, AGREED. HE NOW HAD FIVE YEARS TO WORK AND BUILD UP
THE NECESSARY CASH RESERVES. FINALLY, AT THE AGE OF SIXTY-FIVE
HE HAD ENOUGH MONEY AND LEFT ON HIS TRIP. HE WENT EVERYWHERE. HE
SAW THE GRAND CANYON. HE WENT TO HAWAII AND DANCED WITH THE HULA
GIRLS. HE SAW ENGLAND AND SCOTLAND AND WENT TO THE VINEYARDS OF
FRANCE. HE WENT TO EGYPT TO SEE THE PYRAMIDS. HE WENT TO AFRICA
ON A HUNT. HE WAS NOW ON THE EDGE OF THE SAHARA DESERT. HE WAS
RUNNING OUT OF MONEY BUT WANTED TO TAKE A TRIP ACROSS THE DESERT
BEFORE HE WENT HOME. HE WAS ABOUT TO LEAVE WHEN HE LOOKED THROUGH
HIS FIELD GLASSES AND SAW SOMETHING OUT IN THE DESERT.
"DO YOU SEE ANYTHING OUT THERE?" HE ASKED A CAMEL JOCKEY.
"NO", SAID THE CAMEL JOCKEY. HE TOOK ANOTHER LOOK THROUGH HIS
FIELD GLASS AND COULD SWEAR HE SAW SOMETHING. NOW HE WAS CAPTIVATED.
HE DECIDED TO STAY AND WAIT TO SEE WHAT WAS OUT THERE. HE WAITED
UNTIL THE NEXT MORNING AND ASKED THE SAME CAMEL JOCKEY IF HE SAW
ANYTHING OUT IN THE DESERT. THE CAMEL JOCKEY LOOKED THROUGH THE
FIELD GLASSES. HE SAID, "I THINK I SEE SOMETHING. IT'S ABOUT TWO
DAYS OUT." THIS MADE THE MAN EVEN MORE INTERESTED AND ANXIOUS TO
SEE WHAT IT WAS. HE DECIDED TO SIT AND WAIT UNTIL HE COULD FIND
OUT WHAT IT WAS OUT IN THE DESERT. BY THIS TIME IT WAS NEARING
HIS DEPARTURE TIME HOME TO THE USA. HE GOT UP THE NEXT MORNING
AND COULD SEE SOMETHING. IT LOOKED LIKE A CAMEL WITH SOME PEOPLE.
HE COULDN'T QUITE MAKE OUT WHAT THEY LOOKED LIKE. NOW HE WAS
REALLY INTERESTED. HE DECIDED TO FORGET ABOUT THE TRIP ACROSS
THE DESERT AND WAIT UNTIL THE PEOPLE CAME INTO THE OASIS. THE
NEXT MORNING HE GOT UP AND COULD MAKE OUT THE PEOPLE WITH THE
CAMEL. THERE WAS A MAN ON THE CAMEL AND A WOMAN WITH A BABY WALKING
BEHIND. THEY WERE ABOUT TWELVE HOURS OUT. THE MAN WAITED
PATIENTLY. AT ABOUT NOON HE LOOKED OUT INTO THE DESERT AGAIN. NOW
HE COULD MAKE OUT THE PICTURE CLEARLY. THE MAN STOPPED THE CAMEL
AND LET THE WOMAN CHANGE THE BABY. AFTER SHE WAS FINISHED HE GOT
BACK ON THE CAMEL AND CONTINUED THE JOURNEY. THE WOMAN TRAILED
BEHIND AND KEPT FALLING IN THE SAND WITH THE BABY. NOW THE MAN
WAS UPSET. WHY WOULDN'T THE MAN LET THE WOMAN RIDE THE CAMEL?
HE DECIDED HE WOULD WAIT AND ASK THE DRIVER. FINALLY AT ABOUT
SIX P.M. THE MAN RODE THE CAMEL IN AND HIS WIFE FOLLOWED BEHIND.
FIRST THE MAN GOT A DRINK OF WATER THEN HE LET HIS CAMEL DRINK.
AFTER THE CAMEL FINISHED DRINKING THEN IT WAS THE WIFE'S TURN.
NOW THE MAN WAS ENRAGED. HE ASKED THE CAMEL JOCKEY, " WHY WOULDN'T
YOU LET YOUR WIFE RIDE THE CAMEL?!!" THE CAMEL JOCKEY ANSWERED,"
BECAUSE IN OUR COUNTRY IT IS A CUSTOM FOR THE MAN TO RIDE THE
CAMEL." HAVING RECEIVED THE ANSWER, THE MAN FINISHED HIS JOURNEY
HOME.

Submitter comment: THIS STORY WAS TOLD TO ME BY AN ENGLISH TEACHER BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL.
IT ORIGINATED IN THE DESERT DURING WWII. IT WAS PASSED ALONG THROUGH
THE TROOPS AND MADE IT HOME TO THE USA. IT WAS DESIGNED TO AD-LIB
TO FIT THE MOOD OF THE TELLER.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; CHEBOYGAN

James Callow Keyword(s): SHAGGY DOG STORY

Date learned: 00-00-1980

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Play on Words

Thrones:

IN darkest Africa one time, there were some wicked men who terrorized the natives of the various tribes by exploiting them for their valuables. In fact, these men would go to the chief's hut and steal his throne, because they were usually adorned with gold and diamonds and all sorts of other precious stones.

Well, the word got around to one particular chief that thesemen were coming to his village. Not wanting his throne stolen, he had it hidden up in the attic of his grass hut. When the wicked men arrived, they only found a plain wooden chair as a throne. Thinking that this was not a worthwhile village profitably, they decided to leave. All of a sudden, without warning, the ceiling gave out, and the chief's magnificent throne fell to the ground in front of everybody. discovering this prize, the men packed it up and left the king with no throne.

The moral of this story: People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

Submitter comment:

I heard this a few years ago, but I don't remember when. the informant has also slipped my mind. / I don't remember where or whom I heard this from.

Data entry tech comment:

Motif added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Original BN [S570] crossed out/replaced with current classification

Written underneath the BN: [Shaggy Dog - Pun Type]

Where learned: UNKNOWN

Keyword(s): DETECTION OF THIEF ; Fable ; JOKE ; PUN ; SHAGGY DOG STORY ; Throne ; WORD PLAY

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Joke

THIS STORY IS TOLD WITH THE INTENTION OF MAKING SOMEONE FEEL FOOLISH
OR UNCOMFORTABLE. THE STORY GOES: A MAN AND HIS DOG WALK INTO THIS
RESTAURANT AND SIT DOWN AT A TABLE. A WAITRESS WALKS UP AND ASKS
"WHAT'LL YOU HAVE?" AND THE MAN SAYS "I'LL HAVE A STEAK, WELL DONE,
SOME MASHED POTATOES, AND A SALAD. AND BRING ME A PIECE OF APPLE PIE
FOR MY DOG." THE WAITRESS REPLIES, "I'M SORRY SIR, WE DON'T HAVE ANY
APPLE PIE, WILL PEACH PIE DO?"
AT THIS POINT SEVERAL PEOPLE WHO ARE "IN" ON WHAT IS HAPPENING LAUGH
HYSTERICALLY. OF COURSE, THE OUTSIDER DOESN'T, AND PREFERABLY SOME
OF THE CONSPIRATORS DON'T EITHER. THE NARRATOR EXPRESSES DISBELIEF
THAT THE POINT OF THE STORY WAS MISSED, AND ASKS THAT SOMEONE ELSE
TELL IT("MAYBE I DIDN'T TELL IT WELL."). THE CONSPIRATORS TAKE TURNS
TELLING THE STORY AND EACH TIME ANOTHER PERSON JOINS IN THE LAUGHTER
("I GET IT NOW}"). FINALLY ONLY THE OUTSIDER IS LEFT CONFUSED OVER
THE MEANING OF THE STORY.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ABSURD ; DOG ; JOKE ; Pie ; Pointless ; POTATO ; RIDDLE ; Waitress

James Callow Keyword(s): BRUNVAND ; SHAGGY DOG STORY

Date learned: CA00001970

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