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The James T. Callow Computerized Folkore Archive | University of Detroit Mercy Libraries Back to Top
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WE MUST, WE MUST,
WE MUST IMPROVE THE BUST.
THE BIGGER THE BETTER,
THE TIGHTER THE SWEATER,
WE MUST IMPROVE THE BUST.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ANATOMY ; BOSOM BREAST ; FUNCTION GROWING UP ; MONOLOGUE SLANG DIALECT ; REFRAIN, QUATRAIN? ; RHYME: FEMININE, INTERNAL ; RHYME: IMPERFECT, AABBA

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse

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WHEN I'M DEAD AND IN MY GRAVE,
NO MORE WHISKEY SHALL I CRAVE,
FOR ON MY TOMBSTONE SHALL BE WROTE,
MANY A QUART'S WENT DOWN MY THROAT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GARDEN CITY

Keyword(s): DRINKING ; METER: ANAPESTIC DIMETER ; MONOLOGUE QUATRAIN EPITAPH EUPHEMISM ; POOR GRAMMAR ; RHYME: MASCULINE, AABB

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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WHEN YOU ARE OLD AND ABOUT TO DIE,
CALL ME UP SO I CAN CRY.
(TELEPHONE NUMBER).

Where learned: SCHOOL ; MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ANTICLIMAX IRONY COUPLET ; AUTOGRAPH VERSE? ; METER: ANAPESTIC ; PREPARATION FOR DEATH OLD AGE FRIENDSHIP ; RHYME: MASCULINE

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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YOU SCREAM, I SCREAM,
WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): METER: IAMBIC ANAPESTIC ; REPETITION FOOD REFRAIN CACOGRAPHY ; RHYME: MASCULINE

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse

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FLOWERS MAY WITHER,
SONGS MAY DIE,
SOME WILL FORGET YOU,
BUT NEVER WILL I...

Where learned: LOUISIANA ; BATON ROUGE

Keyword(s): AUTOGRAPH VERSE? ; RHYME: MASCULINE, ABCB ; SINCERITY INDIRECTION PLEDGE FRIENDSHIP

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse C730.325

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THE MAIDEN

THERE ONCE WAS A MAIDEN SO FAIR,
HER BRIGHT BLUE EYES AND GOLDEN HAIR;
BUT HER LIFE WAS RUINED BY A TWIST OF FATE,
THE STORY'S AWFUL, I'M SAD TO RELATE.
YES, THE TALE IS TRUE, FOR I WOULD NOT LIE,
I HEARD IT ONE NIGHT WHILE I WAS STILL HIGH;
I HAVE WRITTEN IT JUST AS SHE TOLD IT TO ME,
AND THE PAIN HAS MADE ME SICK AS CAN BE.
"I LEFT HIM FLAT; FOR HE TREATED ME CRUEL;
FOR NOW I SEE THAT I WAS A FOOL,
HE'S UGLY AND DIRTY AND SMELLS LIKE A HORSE,
AND THAT'S WHY I DECIDED TO GET A DIVORCE."
"I WAS JUST TWENTY WHEN THE MESS DID START,
HE SAID HE WOULD LOVE ME TILL DEATH DO US PART;
LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT THE DAY WOULD SOON COME,
WHEN I WOULD GET WISE TO THAT NO-GOOD BUM.
"NOW I AM HAPPY AND FINALLY FREE,
TO THINK, DO, AND SAY WHAT I PLEASE;
SO FOR A LITTLE ADVICE BEFORE YOU MARRY,
BE SURE YOUR HUSBAND IS NOT BIG AND HAIRY."
"SO WHEN THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS TURNS TO A FINK,
GET A DIVORCE OR MAKE A BIG STINK;
BUT IF YOU SEE HE'S NO GOOD FROM THE START,
DROP HIM FAST OR HE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART."

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): LAMENT ADVICE ; METER: IAMBIC TRIMETER ; RHYME: MASCULINE, AABB ; SIMILE INDIRECTION HUMOR MARRIAGE

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse C730.325

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THE MONKEY'S DISGRACE

THREE MONKEYS SAT UNDER A COCONUT TREE,
DISCUSSING THINGS AS THEY ARE TO BE.
SAID ONE TO THE OTHER, NOW LISTEN YOU TWO,
THERE IS A CERTAIN RUMOR THAT CANNOT BE TRUE.
THAT MAN DESCENDED FROM OUR NOBLE RACE,
THE VERY IDEA IS A DISGRACE.
NO MONKEY EVER DESERTED HIS WIFE,
STARVED A BABY OR RUINED A LIFE,
AND YOU HAVE NEVER KNOWN A MOTHER MONK
TO LEAVE HER BABIES WITH OTHERS TO BUNK.
OR PASS THEM ON FROM ONE TO ANOTHER
TILL THEY SCARCELY KNOW WHO IS THEIR MOTHER.
ANOTHER THING YOU WILL NEVER SEE;
A MONK TO BUILD A FENCE AROUND A COCONUT TREE.
AND LET THE COCONUTS GO TO WASTE,
FORBIDDING ALL OTHER MONKS TO TASTE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): IRONY SARCASM ; JUDGMENT ON HUMAN RACE

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse C730.327

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AS A BEAUTY I AM NO STAR,
THERE ARE OTHERS MUCH MORE HANDSOME BY FAR.
BUT MY FACE, I DON'T MIND IT,
BECAUSE I'M BEHIND IT.
IT'S THE FOLKS UP IN FRONT THAT I JAR.

Where learned: HOME

Keyword(s): SELF-CRITICISM

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

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CURLERS IN MY HAIR AT NIGHT,
HEAVENS--WHAT AN AWFUL SIGHT.
I TOSS, I TURN, WHEN WILL I LEARN--
THAT BEAUTY ISN'T WORTH THE FIGHT!

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): INTERNAL RHYME ; SELF-CRITICISM

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

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DAN, DAN, THE FUNNY WEE MAN,
WASHED HIS FACE WITH A FRYING PAN.
COMBED HIS HAIR WITH THE LEG OF A CHAIR,
DAN, DAN, THE FUNNY WEE MAN.

Data entry tech comment: OLD DAN TUCKER?

Where learned: NOT GIVEN

Keyword(s): COMPARE "OLD DAN TUCKER" ; QUATRAIN NONSENSE ; RHYME: AABA

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

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ARMY VERSE

G. I. BEANS
G. I. GRAVY,
GEE, I WISH I'D JOINED THE NAVY.

Where learned: WEST GERMANY

Keyword(s): G. I. = GOVERNMENT ISSUE ; REFERS TO THE ARMY IN GENERAL..

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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HERE LIES THE BODY OF SOLOMON PEASE.
UNDER THE DAISIES, UNDER THE TREES.
BUT PEASE ISN'T HERE, ONLY THE POD.
PEASE SHELLED OUT AND WENT HOME TO GOD.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): DEATH PUN ; EPITAPH RHYME: COUPLETS ; VEGETABLES: PEAS METAPHOR SLANG

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

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WHO CARES? NOT I.

I KNOW HOW UGLY I ARE,
MY FACE IT AIN'T NO STAR,
BUT I DON'T MIND IT,
CAUSE I'M BEHIND IT,
IT'S THE FOLKS OUT FRONT GET THE JAR.

Submitter comment: FROM CHILDHOOD

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

Keyword(s): SELF-CRITICISM

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

Date learned: 00-00-1968

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O-I-C

I'M IN A 10 DER MOOD TODAY
AND FEEL POETIC 2
4 FUN I'LL JUST -- OFF A LINE
AND SEND IT OFF 2 U.

I'M SORRY U HAVE BEEN 6 SO LONG,
DON'T BE DISCONSOL8
BUT BEAR YOUR ILLS WITH 42DE
AND THEY WON'T SEEM SO GR8.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): DIGITAL SPELLING ILLNESS ; QUATRAIN RHYME: ABCB

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

Date learned: 00-00-1965

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JOHN AND KATHY SITTING IN A TREE,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
FIRST COMES LOVE
THEN COMES MARRIAGE
THEN COMES JOHN PUSHING A BABY CARRIAGE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): AUTOGRAPH VERSE?

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

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TAUNT

NOW IS THE TIME FOR ALL GOOD MEN
TO COME TO THE AID OF THEIR PLANET.

Submitter comment: THE TIME IS NOW FOR MEN TO WAKE UP AND REALIZE WHAT
HAS TO BE DONE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SOUTHFIELD

Keyword(s): ANAPESTS ; GOOD MEN TO COME TO THE AID OF THEIR COUNTRY. ; PARODY: ON TYPING EXERCISE: NOW IS THE TIME FOR ALL

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

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(NAME) IS A POET AND DON'T KNOW IT,
HIS FEET SHOW IT; THEY'RE LONGFELLOWS.
HE'S GETTING WHITTIER AND WHITTIER EVERY DAY,
THE LITTLE DICKINS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; LEXINGTON

Keyword(s): PUNS

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

Date learned: 09-14-1969

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ONE LESS TEST

WHEN I SET MYSELF DOWN TO STUDY,
I PRAY THE LORD I DON'T GO NUTTY;
AND IF I DIE BEFORE I WAKE,
THAT'S ONE LESS TEST I'LL HAVE TO TAKE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BIRMINGHAM

Keyword(s): "NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP" ; PARODY: PRAYER TO GUARDIAN ANGEL ; RHYME: AABB

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

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(BLANK) IS A FRIEND OF MINE.
HE RESEMBLES FRANKENSTEIN.
WHEN HE DOES THE IRISH JIG,
HE LOOKS JUST LIKE PORKY PIG.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): INSULT DANCING ; PORKY PIG=WALT DISNEY CHARACTER IN MOVIES ; QUATRAIN RHYME: AABB

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse Lyrical Verse

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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