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James T. Callow Computerized Folklore Archive
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Retort

Who do you think you are, anyhow?

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

The original title [Wellerism] has been crossed out.

Why not S570? Retort? Yes.

Original BN [V500] crossed out. replaced with current classification.

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; INSULT ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

You should be on the stage, it's leaving in ten minutes.

Submitter comment:

This is a sarcastic retort used when a person has had a sarcastic remark directed towards them.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Original Title [Taunt in Prose] crossed out. Replaced with current title.

Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; Diamond, Susan

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; INSULT ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

Shut up? I wasn't shut up, I was brought up, and when I think of you I throw up.

Submitter comment:

Collected upon hearing the informant answer someone who told him to shut up.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK ; Patrick, Richard

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; INSULT ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

He thinks he's sharp just because his head comes to a point.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Original BN [Z210] crossed out replaced with current classifications.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; Bonczyk, Bruce

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; INSULT ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

Did your mother have any children that lived?

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Sense?

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; INSULT ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

You think you're funny but your face beat you to it.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Put-Down? Taunt?

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; Van Damme, Michael

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; Funny ; HUMOR ; INSULT ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

"I doubt it"

Submitter comment:

A phrase used by high school students in reply to any question asked of them, particularly when a yes or no answer was involved mostly favoring the affirmative.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

A large question mark is written next to the collector's comment

Where learned: CALIFORNIA ; Kelleher, M R ; LOS ANGELES

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; Doubt ; INSULT ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Proverb

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Submitter comment:

Informant heard this in Detroit, MI

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

The question [Proves what?] is written next to the collector comment.

Original BN [S570] crossed out. Replaced with current classifications.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FERNDALE ; Cissell, Robert Jr

Keyword(s): Appreciation ; COMEBACK ; Generous ; GIFT ; Grateful ; Greedy ; HORSE ; Mouth ; PROVERB ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; TEETH ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula
PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor

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Retort

Does your face hurt? No? Well, it's killing me!

Submitter comment:

Heard it from a friend

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

The original title [Jokes] has been crossed out. Replaced wtih current title.

Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; Moran, Midge

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; FACE ; Hurt ; INSULT ; Kill ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

When someone says "Go to Hell!"

Retort: "I've been there but I got kicked out for peddling water."

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: Orabel, Barbara

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; HELL ; INSULT ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; WATER ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

Don't soft soap me.

Submitter comment:

Heard by informant in Detroit, MI

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FERNDALE ; Westrick, Evelyn

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; INSULT ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Soap ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

...Says the pretty little bird on Nellie's hat.

(Variant of "Who are you kidding?")

Submitter comment:

Informant heard this often from Nellie Gaffney, a friend of informant's Irish grandmother, Rose Brady.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FERNDALE ; Westrick, Evelyn

Keyword(s): BIRD ; COMEBACK ; DISBELIEF ; Hat ; INSULT ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

You're as handy as a screen door in a submarine.

Submitter comment:

Learned from classmate at school

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: OHIO ; Gundlach, Gary ; WASHINGTON ; WASHINGTON COURT HOUSE

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; INSULT ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Screen ; Submarine ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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PROVERBIAL METAPHOR

YOU'RE LIKE A MILLION DOLLARS; GREEN AND WRINKLED.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Similar entries may be listed as Retort.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): Bucks ; COLOR ; COMEBACK ; Dollars ; Green ; INSULT ; Million ; MONEY ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; SIMILE ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula
PROVERB -- Proverbial Comparison

Date learned: 09-30-1967

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Retort

You're like a million bucks - all green and wrinkled.

Submitter comment:

Learned this from my brother, Brett Gundlach (informant quote)

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Source? Total Effect?

Where learned: OHIO ; Gundlach, Gary ; WASHINGTON ; WASHINGTON COURT HOUSE

Keyword(s): Bucks ; COLOR ; COMEBACK ; Dollars ; Green ; INSULT ; Million ; MONEY ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; SIMILE ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula
PROVERB -- Proverbial Comparison

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Retort

You spot a victim and wiat until someone passes your victim in the hall or down the street, then run up to your victim and mumble, "Boy did SHE give you a dirty look!"

Your victim naturally questions, "Who??" and you retort, "Mother Nature."

Submitter comment:

This was a favorite of the nasty boys in grade school.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): Attractive ; COMEBACK ; Homely ; INSULT ; Looks ; Mother Nature ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

If brains were explosive, you couldn't blow your nose!

Submitter comment:

Heard at work.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Meaning?

Where learned: Ruttle, Paul

Keyword(s): Brains ; COMEBACK ; Explosive ; INSULT ; NOSE ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; TAUNT ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

When someone wants to know something you don't want them to know, you say:

Mind your own beeswax.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Keyword(s): Bee ; Bees ; Beeswax ; COMEBACK ; INSULT ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wax ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

"Quit horning in front of our house, our fodder don't like it."

Submitter comment:

Finnish speech to have a person stop blowing the automobile horn in front of house.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Original BN [S400] crossed out. Replaced with current classification.

Where learned: HOME ; Brosk, Richard

Keyword(s): Car ; COMEBACK ; ETHNIC ; Father ; Finnish ; Horn ; House ; INSULT ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

You're not proud, you're thoroughly convinced.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Two cards merged: identical submissions, different informants. Both informants are listed here.

James Callow comment:

Sense?  Circumstance? Both cards the same except for informant?

Where learned: Dondero, Bill ; Modic, A J

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; INSULT ; PRIDE ; Proud ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; TAUNT ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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