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THE WELL RETORT

SOME PERSONS WHEN THEY THINK SAY "WELL...." A RETORT IS TO SAY
"THAT'S A DEEP SUBJECT" MEANING THAT THE SUBJECT-WELL- IS
DEEP.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; PLYMOUTH

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 04-00-1971

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THAT'S THE WAY THE COOKIE CRUMBLES.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 03-00-1971

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YOU NEED THAT LIKE A HOG NEEDS SIDE POCKETS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 03-00-1971

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YOU MAKE A BETTER DOOR THAN WINDOW.

Submitter comment: THIS IS SAID WHEN SOMEONE IS BLOCKING YOUR WAY ESPECIALLY IN
FRONT OF THE T.V. SET.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 03-00-1971

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ACT YOUR AGE NOT YOUR SHOE SIZE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FARMINGTON

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 03-00-1971

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YOUR MOTHER WEARS ARMY BOOTS AND YOUR FATHER'S MUSTACHE.

Submitter comment: INFORMANT HAS USED THIS MANY TIMES TO INSULT SOMEONE, BUT CANNOT
REMEMBER WHERE HE HEARD IT AS A CHILD.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 10-31-1971

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"YOU'RE BUILT WRONG; YOUR NOSE RUNS AND YOUR FEET SMELL."
USED WHEN IN CONVERSATION WITH A PERSON WHO HAS A COLD. HIS
FEET RUN AND HIS NOSE SMELLS UNDER NORMAL CONDITIONS, BUT THIS
PHRASE IS USED FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS CONTRACTED THE COMMON COLD.

Submitter comment: INFORMANT USED THIS SAYING WHEN HE MET SOMEONE WITH A COLD. HE
REMEMBERS HIS GRANDFATHER USED IT JOKINGLY.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 11-03-1971

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YOU NEED THAT LIKE YOU NEED A HOLE IN THE HEAD.

Submitter comment: TO BE SAID TO SOMEONE WHO HAS GOTTEN OR IS GOING TO GET SOMETHING
WHICH HE DOESN'T NEED.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 03-31-1971

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YOU NEED THAT LIKE A HOG NEEDS SID POCKETS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; BRIGGS 26

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 03-09-1971

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MANNERS YOU BRUTE, THERE'S A PIG IN THE ROOM.

Submitter comment: RETORT AFTER SOMEONE BELCHES

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HARPER WOODS

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 00-00-1971

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THAT WILL SET YOUR MOTHER'S PRESERVES.

Submitter comment: INFORMANT HEARD THIS SAID WHEN YOUNG (1915-20) AS A FORM OF
RETORT SIMILAR TO THAT'LL FIX YOUR APPLE CART.

Where learned: PENNSYLVANIA ; PITTSBURGH

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 10-02-1971

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WHAT'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH THE PRICE OF EGGS IN CHINA?

Submitter comment: TO BE SAID WHEN SOMEBODY SAYS SOMETHING WHICH IS COMPLETELY
IRRELEVANT TO THE CONVERSATION.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 03-31-1971

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DO YOU THINK THE RAIN WILL HURT THE RHUBARB?

Submitter comment: TO BE SAID WHEN SOMEBODY TRIES TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT OR MAKES
A COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT COMMENT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; BRIGGS 26

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 03-09-1971

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IF YOU SAY THE SAMETHING AT THE SAME TIME AS SOMEBODY ELSE,
YOU SAY "TWO GREAT MINDS RUN ON THE SAME CHANNEL".

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 03-31-1971

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WHAT'S THE MATTER? YOU WRITING A BOOK OR SOMETHING?
WELL, LEAVE THIS CHAPTER OUT!!

Submitter comment: THIS RETORT COMES IN HANDY WHEN YOU WANT TO DISCOURAGE SOMEONE
FROM BEING TOO INQUISITIVE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; VALENTES MENS FORMALWEAR

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 07-00-1970

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IF LOOKS COULD KILL, I'D BE DEAD.

Submitter comment: I SAY THIS WHEN ONE PERSON HAS GIVEN ANOTHER A REALLY DIRTY LOOK.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 03-31-1971

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IF HE JUMPED OFF THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE, WOULD YOU JUMP TOO?

Submitter comment: MY MOTHER SAYS THIS WHEN SOMEBODY SAYS "WELL, HE TOLD ME TO
DO IT." AS AN EXCUSE FOR DOING SOMETHING. SHE USUALLY MAKES
HER POINT THIS WAY.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 03-31-1971

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GRASS

IF YOU DO THAT, THEN YOUR ASS IS GRASS AND I'M THE LAWN MOWER.

Submitter comment: IF SOMEONE IS CONTEMPLATING DOING SOMETHING THAT YOU HAD RATHER
THEY NOT DO THEN AN APPROPRIATE ADMONISHMENT (OR PERHAPS
THREATENING) THING TO SAY.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; PLYMOUTH

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 00001971 WINTER

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WHAT'D YA DO DISCOVER AMERICA?

Submitter comment: USED TO GET BACK AT A PERSON WHEN THE PERSON ACTS AS THOUGH HE
IS THE GREATEST PERSON ALIVE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; SOUTH QUAD

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 03-03-1971

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WHEN SOMEONE ASKS "HOW ARE YOU?", ANSWER "I'M FINE AS FROGS HAIR."

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HARPER WOODS

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 03-09-1971

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