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ZIPPED-UP
IT WAS A FORMAL TYPE DINNER AND ONE OF THE GUYS GOT UP
TO GO TO THE JOHN. AFTER HE RETURNED TO THE TABLE,
HE DISCOVERED THAT HE HADN'T ZIPPED UP HIS FLY. HE
LOOKED THE OTHER WAY AND VERY NONCHALANTLY ZIPPED
IT UP. EVERYTHING WAS OK UNTIL HE GOT UP TO LEAVE.
WHEN HE GOT UP AND STARTED TO WALK AWAY, THE TABLE
CLOTH WENT WITH HIM AND THE WHOLE TABLE WAS UPSET
ON THE FLOOR. HE HAD ZIPPED THE TABLE CLOTH INTO
HIS FLY.
Submitter comment:
JOHN TELLS THIS ONE AS ACTUALLY HAVING HAPPENED.
HIS FRIEND WAS THERE AT THE DINNER. IT HAPPENED IN
THE SUMMER OF 1959.
Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; STUDENT UNION
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 00-00-1963
WHAT'S WHAT
DANNY TELLS THE STORY THAT A PHILOSOPHY TEACHER AT
U. OF D. ASKED THE QUESTION "WHAT IS" ON HIS FINAL
EXAM. THE STUDENTS FILLED UP 3 AND 4 PAGES WRITING
ALL ABOUT BEING AND ESSENCE AND ALL THAT. ONE KID JUST
KIND OF SCRATCHED HIS HEAD AND WROTE "WHAT IS WHAT?"
HE GOT AN "A" ON THE FINAL.
Submitter comment:
DAN SAYS THAT HE HEARD THE STORY FROM HIS OLDER BROTHER
A FEW WEEKS EARLIER AND THAT A FRIEND OF HIS BROTHER'S
WAS IN THE VERY CLASS TAKING THE SAME FINAL. THIS
STORY IS TOLD AS TRUE.
Where learned: DRIVING TO SCHOOL
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
PROM NIGHT
IT WAS THE NIGHT OF THE SENIOR PROM AND THE BOY WENT TO
PICK UP HIS DATE. HE WAS SITTING IN THE LIVING ROOM
TALKING TO THE PARENTS WHILE SHE WAS UPSTAIRS MAKING
THE FINAL TOUCHES. THEN SHE PROCEEDED TO COME DOWN
THE STAIRS. SHE HAD A STRAPLESS DRESS ON, AND AS SHE
WAS COMING DOWN SOMETHING SNAPPED AND THE FRONT OF
HER DRESS FELL, EXPOSING ONE OF HER BREASTS. THE GIRL
WAS EMBARRASSED TO TEARS AND THE BOY, NOT WANTING TO
ADD TO THE EMBARRASSMENT, TRIED TO AVOID HER PARENTS
FROM SEEING IT, SO, IN ORDER TO DIVERT THEIR
ATTENTION, HE SCREECHED "LOOK AT THAT" POINTING TO THE
FRONT LAWN AND NOT KNOWING-OR HAVING ANY IDEA WHATEVER-
THAT ANYTHING WAS THERE. THERE WERE TWO DOGS MATING
ON THE LAWN.
Submitter comment:
JOHN TOLD US THAT IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ONE OF HIS
FELLOW GRADUATES AT A HIGH SCHOOL IN NEW JERSEY.
Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; STUDENT UNION
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 10-00-1963
EMBARRASSING SITUATION
THIS CERTAIN COUPLE WAS ENGAGED WHEN THE GUY'S BROTHER
ASKED HIM IF HE WOULD BABY-SIT FOR HIM WHILE HE AND
HIS WIFE WENT OUT FOR THE EVENING. HE TOLD HIM THAT
HE WOULD BE ONLY TOO GLAD TO, IF HE COULD BRING HIS
FIANC`E ALONG. THE BROTHER SAID THAT HE DIDN'T
FIGURE THAT HE COULD DO IT ALONE, SINCE HE KNEW
NOTHING ABOUT KIDS AND WAS HOPING HIS BROTHER WOULD
BRING HIS FIANCE`. SO THEY WENT. THAT NIGHT, AFTER
THE KIDS WERE ASLEEP, THE COUPLE THOUGHT THAT SINCE
THE WEDDING WAS SO CLOSE, THEY MIGHT JUST AS WELL TRY
THE SHOE ON AND SEE IF IT FITS. SO THEY WERE HAVING
A GOOD OLD TIME WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, THEY DISCOVERED
THAT THE LIGHTS WERE OUT. THE GUY FIGURED THAT IT
MUST HAVE BEEN A FUSE, AND SO HE WENT DOWNSTAIRS TO
CHANGE IT. HOWEVER, THE GIRL INSISTED THAT SHE
DIDN'T WANT TO STAY UPSTAIRS ALONE AND FOR HIM TO
TAKE HER ALONG. THEY WERE IN HIGH SPIRITS AND SO HE
GAVE HER A PIGGY-BACK RIDE. THEY WERE IN THE NUDE.
WHEN THEY GOT DOWNSTAIRS, THE LIGHTS WENT ON AND
EVERYBODY YELLED "SURPRISE!" THE RELATIVES HAD
GATHERED FOR A SURPRISE PARTY.
THE GIRL WENT OUT OF HER MIND AND STILL IS IN THE
INSANE ASYLUM.
Submitter comment:
THIS STORY IS TOLD AS TRUE.
JOHN DOYLE LEARNED THIS STORY FROM HIS OLDER SISTER
EARLIER THAT DAY. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE
HAPPENED TO ONE OF HER GIRLFRIEND'S COUSINS.
JOHN FENSCAK TOLD THE VERY SAME STORY, IN EVERY
DETAIL, AS HAVING HAPPENED TO ONE OF HIS FRIEND'S
BROTHERS. JOHN INSISTS THAT THIS ACTUALLY
HAPPENED, IN NEW JERSEY. ACCORDING TO JOHN DOYLE,
IT HAPPENED IN DETROIT ABOUT ONE YEAR EARLIER.
ACCORDING TO FENSCAK IT HAPPENED IN THE SUMMER OF
1962.
Where learned: HOME
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
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THE HIDDEN CHILD
THERE IS A HOUSE ON MARTIN STREET, DIRECTLY ACROSS
FROM CHADSEY HIGH SCHOOL (DETROIT) IN WHICH SOME PEOPLE
LIVED WITH A SMALL BABY GIRL. THE LITTLE GIRL WAS
MENTALLY RETARDED AND THE PARENTS, QUITE ASHAMED OF HER,
HID HER DOWN THE BASEMENT. THESE PEOPLE SOLD THE
HOUSE AND LEFT THE LITTLE GIRL THERE. OTHER PEOPLE
MOVED INTO THE HOUSE, AND ONE NIGHT WHILE THEY WERE
WATCHING TELEVISION, THEY SAW A LIGHT IN THE KITCHEN
THAT THEY HAD NOT TURNED ON, SO NATURALLY, THEY THOUGHT
SOMEONE WAS THERE. BUT WHEN THEY WENT OUT INTO THE
KITCHEN TO LOOK, NO ONE WAS THERE. AFTER THIS, THEY BEGAN
TO HEAR NOISES, WHINING, AND MOANING FROM DOWN THE
BASEMENT AND WHEN THEY HEARD THESE NOISES, THEY CALLED
THE POLICE. THE POLICE HEARD THESE SAME NOISES, BUT
COULDN'T FIND ANYTHING EITHER. AFTER A THOROUGH SEARCH,
THEY FINALLY FOUND A TRAP DOOR TO THE BASEMENT AND WENT
DOWN IT AND FOUND A GIRL WITH HER HAIR HANGING DOWN TO
HER KNEES AND SHE WAS HUDDLED IN A CORNER. IT WAS THE
SAME MENTALLY RETARDED GIRL THAT HAD BEEN PUT DOWN
THERE ABOUT NINETEEN YEARS AGO.
Submitter comment:
MR. LOWE CLAIMS THAT HE HEARD OF THIS HOUSE ON THE
RADIO ABOUT TWO YEARS AGO.
OF THE TWO VERSIONS OF THIS STORY, THE FIRST ONE
FROM MRS. KOZOREK SEEMS TO BE MORE SUBSTANTIATED
AND THEREFORE MORE CONVINCING THAN THE ONE HEARD
FROM MR. LOWE.
Data entry tech comment:
SEE NEXT ITEM.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 10-00-1963
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THE HIDDEN CHILD
THERE IS AN OLD, GREY HOUSE ON MARTIN STREET, ACROSS
FROM CHADSEY HIGH SCHOOL (DETROIT). A FAMILY OF
HILLBILLIES JUST MOVED IN ABOUT NINE MONTHS AGO
AND WERE TOLD BY THEIR NEIGHBORS THAT THE PEOPLE WHO
LIVED THERE BEFORE THEM COMPLAINED ABOUT ODD THINGS
THAT TOOK PLACE IN THE HOUSE. THE HILLBILLY FAMILY
ITSELF STARTED TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE ODD NOISES. ONE
NIGHT, THE HUSBAND WAS IN BED AND HEARD A NOISE
COMING INTO HIS BEDROOM AND BEFORE HE KNEW IT, THERE
WAS A WITCH ALONG THE SIDE OF HIS BED. HE TRIED TO
GRAB THE WITCH, BUT IT DISAPPEARED BEFORE HE COULD.
HE CALLED THE POLICE, AND THEY COULDN'T FIND
ANYTHING. A FEW DAYS LATER, FOOD BEGAN TO DISAPPEAR
RIGHT OUT OF THE KITCHEN WHILE EVERYONE WAS SLEEPING.
THIS TIME, THE POLICE WERE CALLED AGAIN AND STAYED
RIGHT INSIDE THE HOUSE. THE POLICEMAN HEARD A NOISE
ONE NIGHT BUT HE MADE TOO MUCH NOISE TRYING TO SNEAK
AROUND AND SCARED THE WITCH AWAY. THEN TWO POLICEMEN
WERE PUT ON GUARD INSIDE THE HOUSE. ONE NIGHT,
THEY HEARD A NOISE COMING FROM THE LIVING ROOM AND
THEY SAW A FIGURE COMING TOWARD THEM. THE POLICEMEN
WERE PLENTY SCARED, BUT AT LEAST THEY KNEW WHERE THE
NOISE WAS COMING FROM AND WHERE IT WENT. SIX
POLICEMEN WERE CALLED INTO THE HOUSE AND THEY ALL
WENT INTO THE BEDROOM. THEY DISCOVERED A TRAP DOOR
INSIDE THE MASTER BEDROOM AND THIS TRAP DOOR LED
DOWNSTAIRS INTO THE BASEMENT. HERE THEY FOUND A
FIGURE CROUCHED INTO A LITTLE CORNER. THEY TOOK A
CLOSER LOOK AND DISCOVERED A BOY WHO WAS APPARENTLY
RETARDED IN ONE OF HIS ARMS. THEY SEARCHED FOR THE
PARENTS OF THE BOY AND DISCOVERED THAT HE WAS TWENTY
YEARS OLD AND HAD BEEN PUT DOWN THERE WHEN HE WAS
BUT ONE YEAR OLD.
Submitter comment:
MRS. KOZOREK CLAIMS THAT SHE WAS ACROSS THE STREET
ABOUT FOUR HOUSES AWAY WHEN THEY BROUGHT THE BOY OUT OF
THE HOUSE AND PUT HIM INTO AN AMBULANCE AND SHE ALSO
CLAIMS THAT THE BOY DIED OF A HEART ATTACK AT
RECEIVING HOSPITAL AND THIS HEART ATTACK WAS CAUSED
BY ALL THE EXCITEMENT. THIS STORY TOOK PLACE
ABOUT TWO YEARS AGO, SO SHE CLAIMS.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 12-00-1963
THAT'S THE SPIRIT
AN OLD NEIGHBOR WAS RETURNING HOME FROM A SICK FRIEND.
IT WAS NIGHT AND THE MOON WAS NOT SHINING. SO HE WAS
JUST WALKING ALONG AND HE HAD TO GO THROUGH THE CEMETERY.
HE WAS A LITTLE AFRAID, BUT HE WAS THINKING ABOUT HIS
FRIEND AND ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE MIGHT NOT GET BETTER.
JUST THEN, HE HEARS SOMEONE MOANING. THE MAN BECAME
FRIGHTENED AND HE STOPPED AND WAITED. AGAIN, HE HEARS
SOMEONE MOANING. SO THE OLD MAN ASKS THE SPIRIT OF
THE ONE WHO WAS BURIED IN THE GRAVE BESIDE WHICH HE
STOOD: "SOUL (SPIRIT), WHAT DO YOU DEMAND?" BUT AGAIN,
HE HEARD THE MOAN. WITH THAT, A VOICE COMES FROM
BEHIND THE TOMBSTONE, "I'D LIKE A PIECE OF PAPER."
Submitter comment:
TRANSLATED FROM POLISH. I HEARD THIS WHEN I WAS
ABOUT 13-15, BUT COULDN'T REMEMBER THE DETAILS, SO
ASKED MY MOTHER TO WRITE THEM DOWN FOR ME. SHE DID
SO ON MAY 15, 1965.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): TRANSLATION
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 05-00-1965
THE KING AND THE SMART SERVANT
ONCE UPON A TIME, A KING HAD A BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER. THE
KING WANTED A PRINCE FOR A SON-IN-LAW, BUT HIS DAUGHTER
FELL IN LOVE WITH A PAROBEK (HOUSEMAN) WHO JUST WORKED
FOR THE KING, TOOK CARE OF HIS CATTLE AND BARNS. THE KING
COULDN'T GET HIS DAUGHTER TO CHANGE HER MIND, SO HE TOLD
THE YOUNG MAN AND HER THAT IF HE DOES 3 THINGS, HE, THE
KING, TELLS THE YOUNG MAN TO DO, HE CAN MARRY HIS
DAUGHTER. IF HE FAILS HE WILL BE BEHEADED. IN OTHER
WORDS, HE WILL HAVE HIS HEAD CHOPPED OFF. AND THE KING
WAS SURE HE WOULD HAVE TO MISS ONE--HE COULDN'T BE THAT
SMART. ALTHOUGH THE KING LIKED THE YOUNG MAN BECAUSE
HE WAS AN HONEST AND LOYAL WORKER.
FIRST WAS TO COUNT ALL THE STARS IN THE SKY AND SHOW PROOF.
SO THE YOUNG MAN WONDERED AND WORRIED HOW CAN HE, BUT
AHA! HE TOOK A LARGE PIECE OF PAPER AND MADE HOLES IN IT
WITH A PIN. NEXT DAY AT THE TIME THE KING TOLD HIM TO
COME HE DID SO. HE PRESENTED THE PAPER TO THE KING AND
SAID, "I PIERCED A HOLE FOR EACH OF THE STARS. HERE
THEY ARE." WELL, IT WAS ACCEPTED BECAUSE THE KING COULD
NOT SHOW PROOF OTHERWISE.
SECOND: NOW SAID THE KING, "AT MIDNIGHT YOU SHALL COME
TO ME DRESSED BUT NOT DRESSED, ON A BLACK, BUT NOT BLACK,
WHITE BUT NOT WHITE, HORSE. SO AGAIN HE WORRIED WHAT TO
DO, BUT "AHA! I GOT IT!" HE GOT A GREY HORSE WITH DARKER
SPOTS HERE AND THERE SO HE WAS NEITHER WHITE OR BLACK
AND TO DRESS AND NOT DRESS, HE WRAPPED HIMSELF IN A
NETTING, LIKE CHEESE CLOTH OR VEIL. SO HE MADE IT
EXACTLY 12 MIDNIGHT. SO THE KING SAID, "YOU'VE DONE IT
AGAIN," AND WAS WORRIED THE YOUNG MAN MIGHT OUTSMART HIM.
SO HE SAID, "THIS IS THE LAST; I'M SURE HE WILL FAIL."
THIRD: "YOUNG MAN YOU SHOWED YOURSELF SMART SO FAR, BUT
THIS LAST; EITHER YOU DO IT OR YOUR HEAD BE CUT OFF."
THE KING SAID, "BE HERE AT 12 NOON. COME RIDING, BUT NOT
RIDING A HORSE, WALKING BUT NOT WALKING."
THIS WAS HARD, BUT THE YOUNG MAN CAME TO THINK THEN,
!AHA! I GOT IT!" SO HE WENT THROUGH TOWNS AND VILLAGES.
HE TRIED HUNDREDS OF HORSES, THEN HE ALMOST GAVE UP.
THE HORSES WERE EITHER TOO BIG OR TOO SMALL, BUT WHEN
HE ALMOST GAVE UP, HE THOUGHT OF THE HORSE HE TOOK CARE
OF AT THE KING'S PALACE. THERE HE TRIED ONE MORE, AND HE
WAS HIS LIFE SAVER. HE WAS JUST THE KIND HE NEEDED. AS
HE SAT ON HIS BACK HE LET HIS LEGS HANG DANGLING SO AS TO
ALMOST STAND BUT COULDN'T BUT HE HALF WALKED, THAT IS ON
THE BALL OF FOOT AND TOES. SO CAME 12 NOON AND THE KING
WAITED PATIENTLY, SO DID HIS DAUGHTER, THE PRINCESS.
AND THERE RODE, AND NOT RODE, WALKED, BUT NOT WALKED,
THE YOUNG MAN. THE KING WAS AMAZED AND SAID HE IS THE
LOSER AND THE YOUNG MAN THE WINNER. THE KING TURNED
TO HIS DAUGHTER, "YOU MAY MARRY THE YOUNG MAN AND HE
SHALL LIVE IN THE PALACE AND NOT WORK AS A HANDYMAN
ANY MORE. HE HAS PROVEN HE IS A SMART AND A GOOD MAN.
SO THEY MARRIED AND LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
Submitter comment:
THE INFORMANT, MY MOTHER, TOLD THIS STORY TO MY
BROTHERS AND ME WHEN I WAS ABOUT 9 OR 10 YEARS OLD.
I REMEMBERED A FEW OF THE FACTS, BUT NOT THE SOLUTIONS
TO THE KING'S TASKS, SO I ASKED HER TO WRITE THE STORY
DOWN FOR ME. THE ONLY THING I CHANGED IN TRANSCRIBING
IT, IS THE PUNCTUATION. THE WORDS ALL HERS.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): TRANSLATION
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 05-15-1965
THERE WAS THIS MAN THAT LIVED IN AN APARTMENT BUILDING AND
EVERY DAY BEFORE HE WOULD GO TO WORK, HE WOULD PICK UP
HIS BRIEFCASE, AND KISS HIS WIFE GOODBYE. EVERY MORNING
THE SAME ROUTINE WOULD OCCUR. AFTER HE WOULD KISS HIS
WIFE GOODBYE, HE'D LEAVE ON THE ELEVATOR--GO DOWN TO THE
LOBBY FLOOR AND GO ON TO WORK. ONE MORNING, THE SAME
ROUTINE HAPPENED. HE GOT UP, ATE, DRESSED, PICKED UP HIS
BRIEFCASE, KISSED HIS WIFE GOODBYE, GOT ON THE ELEVATOR
AND PUSHED THE BUTTON FOR THE LOBBY FLOOR. HALF WAY DOWN
THE ELEVATOR STOPPED AND HE KNEW RIGHT AWAY THAT HIS WIFE
WAS DEAD. HOW?
ANSWER: HIS WIFE WAS IN AN IRON LUNG AND THERE WAS A
POWER FAILURE IN THE BUILDING, CAUSING THE ELEVATOR TO
STOP. SINCE THERE WAS A POWER FAILURE, THE IRON LUNG
STOPPED PUMPING, CAUSING HIS WIFE TO DIE.
Submitter comment: INFORMANT CALLS THESE LOGIC JOKES.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale RIDDLE -- Riddle Question |
Date learned: 12-23-1971
THE SEX LIFE OF AN ELECTRON (PRETENDED DIRTY TALE)
ONE NIGHT WHEN HIS CHARGE WAS PRETTY HIGH, MIRCO FARAD
DECIDED TO GET HIMSELF A CUTE COIL SO THAT HE COULD
DISCHARGE. HE PICKED UP MILLI AMP AND TOOK HER FOR A
RIDE IN HIS MEGA CYCLE. THEY RODE TO THE SINE WAVE
ACROSS THE WHEATSTONE BRIDGE, AND THROUGH A FIELD BY A
FLOWING CURRENT.
HE PLACED HER AT GROUND POTENTIAL, RAISED HER FREQUENCY, AND
LOWERED HER RESISTANCE. PULLING OUT HIS HIGH VOLTAGE
PROBE, HE INSERTED IT INTO HIS SOCKET, CONNECTING THEM
IN SERIES. HE BEGAN TO SHORT CIRCUIT HER SHUNT. FULLY
EXCITED, MILLI AMP STARTED TO SATURATE.
WITH HIS EXCITER OPERATING AT MAXIMUM EFFICIENCY, AND
HER COIL OPERATING FROM HIS CURRENT FLOW, SHE SOON GOT
HER SHUNT HOT AND RELEASED SOME ELECTRONS. THEY FLUXED
ALL NIGHT TRYING VARIOUS CONNECTIONS AND SOCKETS UNTIL
HIS BAR MAGNET LOST ALL ITS FLUID STRENGTH AND DIS-
INTEGRATED INTO A SOFT IRON CORE. AFTERWARDS, MILLI AMP
TRIED SELF-INDUCTION AND DAMAGED HER SOLENOID.
WITH HIS BATTERY FULLY DISCHARGED, MICRO FARAD WAS UNABLE
TO EXCITE HER TRANSFORMER SO THEY ENDED THE NIGHT BY
REVERSING POLARITY AND BLOWING EACH OTHER'S FUSES.
Submitter comment: COMPLIMENTS OF: DOT E. ROWE
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 00-00-1970
BLOODY BONES
THERE WAS THIS LITTLE BOY AND HIS MOTHER SENT HIM TO
THE STORE TO GET SOME LIVER. BUT INSTEAD THE LITTLE
BOY BOUGHT CANDY. ON HIS WAY HOME HE PASSED A GRAVEYARD
AND DECIDED TO GO DIG UP A LIVER TO TAKE HOME. HE CAME
TO A HEADSTONE WITH THE NAME BLOODY BONES ON IT AND BEGAN
TO DIG. AT DINNER, EVERYONE RAVED ABOUT HOW GOOD THE
LIVER WAS. AFTER DINNER EVERYONE WENT TO BED, BUT WHILE
THE BOY WAS SLEEPING HE HEARD A VOICE. THE VOICE SAID,
"BLOODY BONES GONNA GET YA TONIGHT. BLOODY BONES IN
YOUR CLOSET TONIGHT." FRIGHTENED, THE BOY RAN INTO THE
KITCHEN, BUT THE VOICE FOLLOWED AND SAID, "BLOODY BONES
GONNA GET YA TONIGHT. BLOODY BONES IN THE KITCHEN TONIGHT."
HE TRIED TO ESCAPE BY GOING INTO HIS PARENTS' ROOM BUT
BLOODY BONES FOLLOWED HIM. FINALLY, BLOODY BONES KILLED
HIM AND TOOK HIS LIVER.
Submitter comment:
THE STORY WAS TOLD TO THE INFORMANT TO FRIGHTEN HER INTO
OBEYING. IF SHE DID SOMETHING WRONG HER GRANDFATHER
WOULD SAY, "BLOODY DONES GONNA GET YA!"
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): COMPENSATION AND POETIC JUSTICE ; FUNCTION
| Subject headings: | Favorites PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 04-00-1983
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WHAT DO YOU SAY TO A HITCHHIKER WITH NO LEGS? YOU WOULD
SAY, "NEED A LIFT!"
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN
James Callow Keyword(s): SICK JOKE
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 10-00-1983
A BLIND MAN WALKS INTO A STORE WITH HIS SEEING EYE DOG,
AND STARTS TO SWING HIM AROUND BY HIS TAIL. THE
CLERK THEN SAID, "CAN I HELP YOU SIR?" THE BLIND MAN
REPLIED, "NO THANKS, I AM JUST LOOKING AROUND!"
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale SPEECH -- Formula |
Date learned: 10-00-1983
SODA POP CELEBRITIES
WHAT DOES MICHAEL JACKSON AND RICHARD PRYOR HAVE IN COMMOM?
RICHARD PRYOR WAS BURNED BY COKE AND MICHAEL JACKSON WAS BURNED
BY PEPSI.
Where learned: DETROIT ; PARENTS HOME
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 02-20-1984
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BATMAN
BATMAN TOOK ME TO THE MOVIES,BATMAN, THE MOVIES WERE GROOVE.
BATMAN, TOOK ME TO HIS HOUSE, BATMAN, AND HE THREW ME ON THE COUCH
BATMAN, HE STRUCK IT IN EASY, BATMAN, IT CAME OUT GREASY, BATMAN.
Where learned: DETROIT ; PARENTS HOME
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale Filter - Mature Content |
HOW MANGO-STEEN (A THAI FRUIT) WAS NAMED
"A 'FALANG' (WESTERNER) ASKED A THAI SALESWOMAN AT A THAI
FRUITMARKET WHAT THE NAME OF A FRUIT WAS. BECAUSE HE ONLY KNEW
MANGO (ANOTHER KIND OF FRUIT), HE ASKED IF THIS FRUIT WAS A MANGO
SINCE HE HAD NEVER ACTUALLY SEEN ONE. SHE REPLIED, 'NO. IT'S
CALLED "MUNG-KOOT."' HE MISUNDERSTOOD AND ASKED AGAIN IF IT WAS
A MANGO TO WHICH SHE REPLIED AS BEFORE. AFTER MANY EXCHANGES
AND FRUSTRATION, THE WOMAN REPLIED THAT IT'S CALLED 'MANGO-SOAN-
TEEN' WHICH MEANS 'MANGO-AT-THE-BOTTOM-OF-THE-FOOT.' THE NAME IS
STILL USED TODAY BUT IS SHORTENED TO 'MANGO-STEEN.'"
Submitter comment:
THE THAIS REFER TO THE FOOT AS THE LOWEST PART OF THE BODY. TO
USE IT WHEN REFERRING TO SOMETHING, AND ESPECIALLY SOMEONE, IS
CONSIDERED VERY IMPOLITE.
THIS IS A POPULAR STORY IN THAILAND.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; CAMPUS
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Explanation of a name PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 02-00-1984
THAI STORY
"A FALANG (WESTERNER) WAS ON A RIVERBOAT IN THAILAND AND SOMEHOW
SLIPPED OVERBOARD INTO THE RIVER. ONE OF THE OTHER PEOPLE GRABBED
A LADDER AND ATTEMPTED TO HELP HIM. HE SHOUTED TO THE MAN IN THE
WATER TO GRAB THE LADDER IN THAI LANGUAGE. 'GAW-GAH-DAI! GAW-
GAH-DAI!' HE SHOUTED. HEARING THIS THE FALANG SWAM EVEN FASTER
BECAUSE HE THOUGHT THE MAN WAS SHOUTING 'CROCODILE! CROCODILE!'"
Submitter comment: "GAW-GAH-DAI" MEANS "GRAB THE LADDER" IN THAI LANGUAGE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; CAMPUS
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 04-00-1984
BLACK-AMERICAN TALE
ONCE ON A SOUTHERN PLANTATION, THE BUTLER, MOSES,
A HOUSE SLAVE WOULD TATTLE TO THE MASTER ABOUT
EVERYTHING THE HOUSE AND FIELD SLAVES DID. ON
ONE OCCASSION, MOSES TOLD THE MASTER THAT A
FIELD SLAVE HAD STOLEN SOME FOOD. THE MASTER
TOOK THE THIEF TO THE RIVER AND THREW HIM IN.
LATER, DURING A PARTY AT THE BIG HOUSE, MOSES
TOOK A STROLL DOWN NEAR THE RIVER. HE SAW
A SKELETON. UPON CLOSER INSPECTION, THE
SKELETON SPOKE, SAYING, "TEETH AND TONGUE
BROUGHT ME HERE". MOSES INQUIRED, "WHAT?"
THE SKELETON REPLIED, "TEETH AND TONGUE
BROUGHT ME HERE". MOSES, BIG EYED AND
VERY FRIGHTENED, SCURRIED BACK TO THE
BIG HOUSE CRYING FOR HIS MASTER.
THE MASTER, PERTURBED AT BEING DISTURBED DURING
HIS PARTY, ASKED MOSES WHAT WAS THE PROBLEM.
MOSES TOLD HIM THAT HE HAD SEEN A TALKING
SKELETON AT THE RIVER. THE MASTER WARNED
MOSES ABOUT DISTURBING HIS PARTY WITH SUCH
FOOLISHNESS. MOSES PERSISTED WITH HIS ACCOUNT
OF THE TALKING SKELETON DOWN NEAR THE RIVER.
THE MASTER, TIRED OF MOSES' SILLY BABBLING, DE-
CIDED TO CHECK THE RIVER. HOWEVER, HE WARNED
MOSES THAT IF HE WAS LYING, HE WOULD KILL HIM.
THEY RUSHED TO THE RIVER AND COULD NOT FIND
THE TALKING SKELETON. THE MASTER SHOT MOSES
AND LEFT HIM BY THE RIVER TO DIE BEFORE RE-
TURNING TO HIS PARTY. WHILE MOSES LAY DYING,
BY THE RIVER, THE SKELETON REAPPEARED SAYING
"TEETH AND TONGUE BROUGHT ME HERE."
Submitter comment: LEGEND TOLD BY GRANDFATHER WHEN WE TATTLED.
Where learned: MISSISSIPPI
| Subject headings: | Favorites PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 00001950S
ONCE THERE WAS A SMALL VILLAGE IN THE MOUNTAINS ABOVE A VALLEY. IN
THE VILLAGE THERE LIVED A FAMILY WITH A SCHOOL-AGED CHILD NAMED
SANJAY. EACH DAY DURING CROP SEASON THE FAMILIES THAT LIVED IN THE
VILLAGE WOULD GO DOWN THE MOUNTAIN TO THE VALLEY TO WORK WITH THE
CROPS. SANJAY DIDN'T LIKE GETTING UP IN THE MORNING TO WORK THE
CROPS, SO HE WOULD WAIT UNTIL MOST OF THE FAMILIES WERE DOWN THE
MOUNTAIN. THEN HE WOULD YELL "FIRE! FIRE!" AND ALL THE FAMILIES
WOULD RUSH BACK TO THE VILLAGE AND THE DAY OF WORK WOULD BE LOST.
ONE DAY THERE WAS A REAL FIRE. WHEN SANJAY YELLED "FIRE! FIRE!"
NO ONE CAME UP THE MOUNTAIN. THE VILLAGE BURNED DOWN AND SANJAY
DIED IN THE FIRE.
Submitter comment:
STORY WAS LEARNED IN GRADE SCHOOL. THE NAME OF THE BOY COULD
BE CHANGED TO FIT THE CLASS IN SCHOOL.
James Callow comment: LIKE THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SOUTHFIELD
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 00-00-1969
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HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED
THREE MEN MADE A FRIENDLY WAGER AMONGST THEMSELVES THAT
THEY COULD EACH SEDUCE THE SAME WOMAN. THEY CHOSE A VERY
ATTRACTIVE NEW WOMAN IN TOWN, NO ONE REALLY KNEW. SHE
LIVED AT HOME WITH HER FATHER. ALL THREE APPROACHED THE
WOMAN SEPARATELY, ON VARIOUS DAYS, JUST CLAIMING TO BE
NEIGHBORLY. THE WOMAN, SUSPECTING NOTHING, WAS WINED AND
DINED BY ALL THREE. SOON THE WOMAN FELL IN LOVE WITH ALL
THREE. SHE DECIDED TO CHOOSE JUST ONE AND TELL THE OTHER
TWO AFTER SHE PREPARED A DINNER FOR EACH OF THEM.
WHILE SHE WAS OUT SHOPPING FOR GROCERIES SHE PASSED BY A
LOCAL BARBER SHOP AND ACCIDENTALLY HEARD THE MEN BRAGGING
AND LAUGHING ABOUT THEIR WHOLE SCHEME. HURT AND
HUMILIATED SHE RAN HOME, BUT VOWED REVENGE. SHE CONTINUED
TO SEE EACH MAN FOR THE NEXT WEEK, AND DID PREPARE EACH
MAN A SPECIAL PRIME RIB DINNER, FROM HER OWN SPECIAL
RECIPE, HANDED DOWN FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION. THEY
EACH ATE THEIR RESPECTIVE DINNERS AND WENT HOME. OVER THE
NEXT FEW DAYS THE THREE MEN FOUND THEMSELVES MADLY IN LOVE
WITH THE WOMAN. THEY SOON BEGAN TO FIGHT AMONGST
THEMSELVES OVER HER AND KILLED ONE ANOTHER. THAT NIGHT
THE WOMAN'S FATHER ASKED HER, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO THOSE
MEN? " THE WOMAN REPLIED, "NOTHING REALLY, PAPA; I JUST
LISTENED TO WHAT MAMA ALWAYS SAID, THE WAY TO A MAN'S
HEART IS THROUGH HIS STOMACH." "WITH THE HELP OF A PRIME
RIBS SOAKED OVERNIGHT IN BARBECUE SAUCE MADE FROM YOUR
MENSTRUATION FLUID, AND URINE." SAID HER FATHER. SHOCKED,
THE GIRL STOOD UP, "HOW DID YOU KNOW?" "I'D ONLY SMELLED
RIBS THAT GOOD ONE OTHER TIME IN MY LIFE, WHEN YOUR MOTHER
PREPARED THE SAME DINNER FOR ME," REPLIED HER FATHER.
Where learned: TENNESSEE ; RIPLEY
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale Filter - Mature Content |