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YOU NEED THAT LIKE A HOG NEEDS SIDE POCKETS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 03-00-1971

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HERE'S TO THE AMERICAN EAGLE- A BIRD OF FREEDOM THAT PERMITS
NO LIBERTIES.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): TOAST

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 01-00-1971

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HERE'S TO A GOOD GIRL. NOT TOO GOOD, FOR THE GOOD DIE YOUNG,
AND WE DON'T LIKE DEAD ONES.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): TOAST

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 02-00-1971

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YOU MAKE A BETTER DOOR THAN WINDOW.

Submitter comment: THIS IS SAID WHEN SOMEONE IS BLOCKING YOUR WAY ESPECIALLY IN
FRONT OF THE T.V. SET.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 03-00-1971

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ACT YOUR AGE NOT YOUR SHOE SIZE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FARMINGTON

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 03-00-1971

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LAUGH AT THE DINNER TABLE, CRY BEFORE YOU GO TO BED.

Submitter comment: MY MOTHER ALWAYS TOLD US THIS WHEN WE WERE CHILDREN.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 03-00-1971

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WHEN YOU NOTICE THAT SOMEONE'S SLIP IS SHOWING, INSTEAD OF
TELLING THEM EXPLICITLY, YOU TELL THEM BY SAYING "JOHNNY IS
OUT OF JAIL" WHICH MEANS THAT YOUR SLIP IS SHOWING.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; PLYMOUTH

Keyword(s): CLOTHES

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 00001971 WINTER

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HOME DRINKING CUSTOM-IRISH

MAY YOU BE IN HEAVEN TWO HALF HOURS BEFORE THE DEVILS KNOW
YOU ARE DEAD.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SAINT CLAIR SHORES

Keyword(s): TOAST

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 01-20-1971

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PROVERB

YOU SCRATCH MY BACK, I'LL SCRATCH YOURS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SAINT CLAIR SHORES

Keyword(s): ANATOMY

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 01-20-1971

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EVERYTHING COMES TO HIM WHO HUSTLES WHILE HE WAITS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): TOAST

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 01-00-1971

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WHENEVER WE SAY SOMETHING TOGETHER THIS PROCEDURE FOLLOWS:
1ST PERSON: SHAKESPEARE. 2ND PERSON: LONGFELLOW
1ST PERSON: WHAT GOES UP THE CHIMNEY? 2ND PERSON: SMOKE.
1ST PERSON: WHAT GOES DOWN THE HATCH? 2ND PERSON: A GOOD DRINK.
THEN A SPECIAL HANDSHAKE FOLLOWS AND ENDS WITH THEM BOTH
SAYING TWIDDLE-DEE, PLACING FINGERS UNGER CHIN AND WAVING
FINGERS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GROSSE POINTE WOODS

Keyword(s): GESTURE

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 10-22-1971

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YOUR MOTHER WEARS ARMY BOOTS AND YOUR FATHER'S MUSTACHE.

Submitter comment: INFORMANT HAS USED THIS MANY TIMES TO INSULT SOMEONE, BUT CANNOT
REMEMBER WHERE HE HEARD IT AS A CHILD.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 10-31-1971

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"YOU'RE BUILT WRONG; YOUR NOSE RUNS AND YOUR FEET SMELL."
USED WHEN IN CONVERSATION WITH A PERSON WHO HAS A COLD. HIS
FEET RUN AND HIS NOSE SMELLS UNDER NORMAL CONDITIONS, BUT THIS
PHRASE IS USED FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS CONTRACTED THE COMMON COLD.

Submitter comment: INFORMANT USED THIS SAYING WHEN HE MET SOMEONE WITH A COLD. HE
REMEMBERS HIS GRANDFATHER USED IT JOKINGLY.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 11-03-1971

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THOSE HICCOUGHS OF HIS ARE MERELY MESSAGES FROM DEPARTED SPIRITS.

Submitter comment: THIS ALWAYS CAUSES A BIG LAUGH.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): DRUNKS

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 00-00-1971

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YOU NEED THAT LIKE YOU NEED A HOLE IN THE HEAD.

Submitter comment: TO BE SAID TO SOMEONE WHO HAS GOTTEN OR IS GOING TO GET SOMETHING
WHICH HE DOESN'T NEED.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 03-31-1971

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YOU NEED THAT LIKE A HOG NEEDS SID POCKETS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; BRIGGS 26

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 03-09-1971

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MANNERS YOU BRUTE, THERE'S A PIG IN THE ROOM.

Submitter comment: RETORT AFTER SOMEONE BELCHES

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HARPER WOODS

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 00-00-1971

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EXCUSE THE PIGS, THE HOGS ARE HOME.

Submitter comment: RETORT AFTER SOMEONE BELCHES.

Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 03-10-1971

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THAT WILL SET YOUR MOTHER'S PRESERVES.

Submitter comment: INFORMANT HEARD THIS SAID WHEN YOUNG (1915-20) AS A FORM OF
RETORT SIMILAR TO THAT'LL FIX YOUR APPLE CART.

Where learned: PENNSYLVANIA ; PITTSBURGH

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 10-02-1971

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WHAT'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH THE PRICE OF EGGS IN CHINA?

Submitter comment: TO BE SAID WHEN SOMEBODY SAYS SOMETHING WHICH IS COMPLETELY
IRRELEVANT TO THE CONVERSATION.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): COMEBACK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 03-31-1971

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