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"BERTHA BROWN"

"DID YOU HEAR THE STORY ABOUT BERTHA BROWN
NO MAN TRIED TO BRING HER DOWN.
THEN AROUND THE HILL COMES BIG BALLS PETE
WITH FORTY POUNDS OF SWINGING MEAT.
HE GOT BERTHA DOWN RIGHT ON THE GROUND
AND THAT DAMN BERTHA SHE LET A FROWN.
THOUGHT SHE WAS SMART
BLEW A FART
AND BLEW PETE'S MEAT ALL APART.
NOW THEY CALL HIM SMALL BALLS PETE
WITH FORTY POUNDS OF SHREDDED MEAT."

Submitter comment: SONG SUNG WITH SLIGHT PAUSE AFTER EACH LINE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SAGINAW

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ballad, Song, Verse
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest
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Late Last Night

Late last night, when we were all in bed,
Ole Lady Leary took her lantern to the shed,
The cow kicked it over, and blinked her eye and said,
There'll be a hot time in the ole barn tonight,
Fire! Fire! Fire!

Submitter comment: This was a song sung on the playground at my elementary school

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest

Date learned: 00-00-1976

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MY DARLING OLD STAG

YOU MAY SING OF YOUR ROSE COVERED BOWERS;
YOU MAY RAVE OF YOUR HILLS AND YOUR VALES;
YOU MAY TALK ABOUT SWEET SCENTED FLOWERS,
OR TEMPT WITH ARABIAN NIGHT TALES;
ALL ARE FEEBLE AND WEAK TO MY SONG;
ALL ARE ONLY TATTERS AND RAGS;
I'VE A THEME THAT CLINGS TO ME STRONG,
'TIS THIS DEAR PAIR OF OLD LEATHER "STAGS."
WHEN MY DAY OF HARD LABOR IS DONE,
AND MY SUPPER IS STOWED 'NEATH MY BELT;
WHEN THE "BUNK CAMP" IS BRIMMING WITH FUN,
AND THE FIRE IN THE STOVE WOULD YOU MELT;
O IT'S THEN WITH MY PIPE SMOKING FREE,
I LIST TO THE SHANTY BOYS' GAGS;
I JOIN IN THE FROLIC AND GLEE,
WITH MY HOOFS IN MY DARLING OLD "STAGS."
THESE "STAGS" THEY WERE ONCE LONG TOP BOOTS
THE TOPS I CUT OFF LONG AGO.
THERE'S NOTHING NOW LEFT BUT THE ROOTS,
STILL THEY'RE HANDY TO WEAR OR TO THROW,
AT SOME SHANTY BOY SNORING IN BED,
OR A WATCH PEDDLING SON OF A WAG;
I CAN SHY THEM SO NEAT AT A HEAD
FOR CONVENIENT AT TIMES IS A "STAG."

Submitter comment: SUNG BY AN ELDER OF THE LOGGING CAMP ON SATURDAY
NIGHT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SAGINAW

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Joy Happiness
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest

Date learned: 03-04-1990

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JINGLE-BELLS ALTERNATE

JINGLE-BELLS BATMAN SMELLS JOKER LAID AN EGG
BATMOBILE LOST A WHEEL, JOKER GOT AWAY, HEY!

Submitter comment: THIS VERSE IS SUNG OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL THE SINGERS
WISH TO STOP AND WHEN THEY DO THEY SAY "HEY!" AT THE END.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Lansing

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children

Date learned: 00001970CA

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THE BILLBOARD SONG

ONE DAY AS I WAS WALKING
ONE DARK AND DREARY DAY
I CAME UPON A BILLBOARD
AND MUCH TO MY DISMAY
THE SIGN WAS TORN AND TATTERED
FROM THE STORM THE NIGHT BEFORE
THE WIND AND RAIN HAD DONE ITS WORK
AND THIS IS WHAT I SORE. MM
DRINK COCA-COLA CIGARETTES
CHEW WRIGLEY'S SPEARMINT BEER
KENNELRATION DOGFOOD
MAKES YOUR COMPLEXION CLEAR
SIMONIZE YOUR BABY
WITH A HERSHEY'S CANDY BAR,
AND PEPSI-COLA BEAUTY CREAM
IS USED BY ALL THE STARS. MM
SO TAKE YOUR NEXT VACATION
IN A BRAND NEW FRIDGIDARE
LEARN TO PLAY PIANO
IN YOUR WINTER UNDERWEAR.
DOCTORS SAY THAT BABIES,
SHOULD SMOKE UNTIL THEY'RE THREE,
AND PEOPLE OVER SIXTY-FIVE
SHOULD BATHE IN LIPTON TEA, HEY!

Submitter comment: LEARNED FROM MIDDLE SISTER'S BEST FRIEND, MARTH BAKER
WHO LIVED DOWN THE STREET AND WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH
MY SISTER IN FLINT, MICHIGAN. BOTH OF THEM LIKED WORD GAMES
AND HAD BACKGROUND IN THE PERFORMING ARTS. THEY WENT TO
HIGH SCHOOL AT FLINT OPEN SCHOOL IN THE EARLY 1970'S.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Flint

James Callow Keyword(s): TANGLETALK

Subject headings: Favorites
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest

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COWBOY JOE

WAY OUT WEST WHERE THE BAD MEN ARE
AND THE ONLY THING TO GUIDE YOU IS THE EVENING STAR
IS THE ROUGHEST, TOUGHEST MAN BY FAR
AND HIS NAME IS COWBOY JOE. MM
HE ALWAYS SINGS
RAGTIME MUSIC TO HIS CATTLE AS HE SWINGS
BACK AND FORTH IN THE SADDLE ON A HORSE
A PRETTY GOOD HORSE.
A SYNCOPATED GAITER MAKES SUCH A FUNNY METER
TO THE ROAR OF HIS REPEATER.
HOW THEY RUN
WHEN THEY HEAR THE SHERIFF CALLING
CAUSE THE WESTERN FOLKS ALL KNOW
WHAT DO THEY KNOW?
HE'S A HIGH FALOOTING, ROOTIN' TOOTIN'
SUN OF A GUN FROM ARIZONA
RAGTIME COWBOY,
TALK ABOUT YA COWBOY
RAGTIME COWBOY JOE!

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Lansing ; CAMP O'FAIRWINDS

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest

Date learned: 06-00-1977

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Camp Songs, Girl Scouts

This song was taught to me
by a Girl Guide Troop from England
It is sung to the tune of O'Christmas Tree
or O'Tannenbaum
O'Tom the toad, O'Tom the toad
Why are you lying in the road?
O'Tom the toad O'Tom the Toad
Why are you lying in the road?
You did not see the truck ahead.
And now you're marked with tire tread.
O'Tom the Toad O'Tom the Toad
That's why you're lying in the road.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Camp Innisfree ; Howell

Subject headings: Favorites
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Social reunion
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children
BELIEF -- Animal

Date learned: 07-00-1989

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The Diarrhea Song

Diarrhea, ptt, ptt. Diarrhea, ptt, ptt.
When you're sliding into first,
And you feel a sudden burst.
Diarrhea, ptt, ptt. Diarrhea, ptt, ptt.
When you're sliding into second,
And you feel something unpleasant.
Diarrhea, ptt, ptt. Diarrhea, ptt, ptt.
When you're sliding into third,
And you feel a juicy turd.
Diarrhea, ptt, ptt. Diarrhea, ptt, ptt.
When you're sliding into home,
And your pants are filled with foam.
Diarrhea, ptt, ptt. Diarrhea, ptt, ptt.
When you're driving in your Chevy,
And you feel something heavy.
Diarrhea, ptt, ptt. Diarrhea, ptt, ptt.
When your mom cleans the car,
And she finds a candy bar.
Diarrhea, ptt, ptt. Diarrhea, ptt, ptt.
When you're climbing up a ladder,
And you hear something splatter.
Diarrhea, ptt, ptt. Diarrhea, ptt, ptt.
When you're playing football,
And you feel something fall.
Diarrhea, ptt, ptt. Diarrhea, ptt, ptt.
When you're going for a ride,
And you feel something slide.
Diarrhea, ptt, ptt. Diarrhea, ptt, ptt.
When you're taking a shower,
And you smell something sour.
Diarrhea, ptt, ptt. Diarrhea, ptt, ptt.

Submitter comment: This is chanted.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HEMLOCK

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest

Date learned: 00-00-1989

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"The Bloomfield Hillbillies"

People let me tell you a story about a man named Fred.
Man was so poor he had a mortgage on his bed.
Then one day he was mowin' his back lawn. All of a
sudden he hit somethin' mighty hard;
uranium, 238, radioactive, glowing.
Well, the first thing you know old Fred's a millionaire.
The environmentalists said, "Fred get the hell outta there."
They said the suburbs is the place you oughta be.
So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Oakland County.
Bloomfield, Hills that is.
Swimmin' pools, movie stars, high property rates.

Submitter comment: I learned this during a graduation party from Brian;
it was a parody of the Beverly Hillbillies song on the TV
show.

Where learned: MICHIGAN

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest

Date learned: 00001980S

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Whenever we went camping, we had a certain
song we would sing around the campfire.
The ants go marching up and down, Hurrah, Hurrah!
The ants go marching up and down, Hurrah, Hurrah!
The ants go marching up and down,
And one of them stops to ...
this line is made up by someone and it must
rhyme with down.
And the ants go marching up and down and all around
and under the ground.
this keeps up till everyone has had a turn filling in
the line and then it starts over.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): IMPROVISATION

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Social reunion
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children

Date learned: 00001970S

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Mr Johnny Goback

Once there was a Dutchman his name was Johnny Goback.
He was a sausage dealer in sauerkraut and speck.
One day he invented a marvelous machine,
now all the neighbors cats and dogs will never no more be
seen.
(Chorus) Oh mister Johnny Goback how could you be so mean?
I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine.
Now all the neighbors cats and dogs will never no more be seen
they'll all be ground to sausages in Johnny Goback's machine.
chorus over.
One day a little boy came strolling in the store.
He bought a pound of sausages and set them on the floor.
The little boy started whistling, he whistled up a tune.
And all the little sausages started dancing around the room.
(Chorus)
One day the thing got stuck the blame thing wouldn't go.
So Johnny crawled inside of it to see what made it so.
His wife was having a nightmare walking in her sleep.
She gave the crank a heck of a yank and Johnny was sausage
meat.
(Chorus)

Submitter comment: My grandma learned this from her husband, who is no longer
living. She believes it is a Marching song for soldiers. My
grandfather came directly on the boat from the Netherlands so
this is native to that land. It goes back to at least his
childhood since his father taught it to him. This would date
this back as early as 1915.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HAZEL PARK

James Callow Keyword(s): HUMOR

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- War cries

Date learned: 00-00-1935

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When I was young we used to sing this song when our parents
weren't around :
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey nuts
Chopped up birdy feet
French fried eyeballs floating in a pool of blood
Ooh I forgot my spoon.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; CENTERLINE

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children

Date learned: 00-00-1974

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My older brother taught me this song when I was very young. It
was very popular with kids my age:
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Chopped up birdy feet
French fried eyeballs floating in a pool of blood
Oh I forgot my spoon.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children

Date learned: 00-00-1975

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THIS SONG WAS SUNG AT FAMILY GATHERINGS IN KENTUCKY:
"I GOT CHOKED ON A COLD TATER PIE
AND I THOUGHT TO MY SOUL I WOULD DIE
I GOT CHOKED ON A COLD TATER PIE
TATER PIE! TATER PIE! I GOT CHOKED ON A COLD TATER PIE.
TATER PIE! TATER PIE! I GOT CHOKED ON A COLD TATER PIE."
THE SONG WAS SUNG AS A ROUND. EVERYONE PARTICIPATED.

Submitter comment: MY INFORMANT MADE THE COMMENT THAT HER STRAIGHT-LACED FATHER'S
RELATIVES WOULD MAKE THE PIE, AND HER MOTHER'S MORE CAREFREE SIDE
OF THE FAMILY WOULD SING ABOUT THEM.

Where learned: KENTUCKY ; CENTRAL

James Callow Keyword(s): FOOD

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest

Date learned: 00001940S

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"SHE WALKS THE BLOODY TOWER"

THIS SONG WAS SUNG BY MY MOTHER AND HER SIBLINGS:
"SHE WALKS THE BLOODY TOWER
AT THE MIDNIGHT HOUR
WITH 'ER 'EAD TUCKED UNDERNEATH HER ARM
AT THE MIDNIGHT HOUR...

...IT MAKES IT AWFULLY DIFFICULT FOR THE QUEEN TO BLOW HER
NOSE
WITH 'ER 'EAD TUCKED UNDERNEATH 'ER ARM."
MY INFORMANT ONLY REMEMBERS THIS FRAGMENT.

Submitter comment: I REMEMBER MY MOTHER SINGING THIS TO ME WHEN I WAS A CHILD.
SHE WOULD ALSO EXPLAIN THE HISTORICAL CONNECTION TO THE QUEENS OF
HENRY THE EIGHTH. ANNE BOLEYN IS PROBABLY THE QUEEN REFERRED TO
IN THE SONG. I ATTRIBUTE MY INTEREST AND MAJOR IN HISTORY IN PART
TO THIS FRAGMENT.

Where learned: OHIO ; CINCINNATI

James Callow Keyword(s): HUMOR

Subject headings: Favorites
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest

Date learned: 00001940S

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Children's Version of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer"

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw it (saw it) you would even say it glows
(like a light bulb).
All of the other reindeer (reindeer) used to laugh and call
him names (like Pinocchio).
They never let poor Rudolph (Rudolph) join in any
reindeer games (like Monopoly).
Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came to say (ho ho ho),
Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you guide my
sleigh tonight?
Then all the reindeer loved him (loved him)
and they shouted out with glee (Whoopie)
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer (reindeer),
you'll go down in history (like Columbus).

Submitter comment: This song was sung to the regular tune of "Rudolph the Red
Nosed Reindeer"; the sections in parentheses are sung as an after
thought, or even by a different group of children. There are many
deviations in this song where the words are added into the song.
For the game where she sung Monopoly I learned to sing like
Parcheesi, and for the person in history, I learned like George
Washington.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Sandusky

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children

Date learned: 00-00-1981

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"Miss Suzy Had A Steamboat"

Miss Suzy had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell/ Miss
Suzy went to heaven, the steamboat went to.../ Hello operator,
give me number nine/ And if you disconnect me I'll kick you
from.../Behind the refrigerator, there was a piece of glass, and
if you slip upon it, it'll break your little.../ Ask me no more
questions, tell me no more lies, Miss Suzy told me all of this the
day before she.../ Died her hair in purple, she died her hair in
pink, she died her hair in polka dots and washed it down the
sink.

Keyword(s): HELL

Subject headings: Favorites
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ballad, Song, Verse
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children

Date learned: 00-00-1979

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Mother, Mother, may I go
Down to the corner to meet my beau?
No, my daughter you can't go
Down to the corner to meet your beau.

Father, Father, may I go
Down to the corner to meet my beau?
Yes, my daughter you can go
Down to the corner to meet your beau.

Tell your mother to hold her tongue.
She had a beau when she was young.

Submitter comment: This is a tune for the piano that was taught to my mother by
her mother when she was ten years old.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): Family relations

Subject headings: Favorites
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children

Date learned: 00-00-1927

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MY BODY LIES OVER THE OCEAN,
MY BODY LIES OVER THE SEA,
MY DADDY LIES OVER MY MOMMIE,
THAT'S HOW I CAME TO BE.

Where learned: TENNESSEE ; NASHVILLE

James Callow Keyword(s): ORIGIN OF BABIES

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest
BELIEF -- Creation and Order of Human Life
BELIEF -- Birth

Date learned: 11-11-1973

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THREE IRISHMEN

THREE IRISHMEN, THREE IRISHMEN
SITTIN IN A DITCH.
ONE CALLED THE OTHER A DIRTY SON OF A BEAVER
A BEAVER SITTIN ON A LOG
ALONG CAME A BUMBLE BEE AND STUNG HIM ON THE COCK_TALE
GINGER ALE, FIVE CENTS A GLASS
IF YOU DON,T LIKE IT SHOVE IT UP YOUR
ASK ME NO MORE QUESTIONS FOR I WILL TELL NO LIES.
IF YOU GET HIT WITH A BUCKET OF SHIT,
BE SURE TO CLOSE YOUR EYES.

Data entry tech comment:

Updated by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BATTLE CREEK ; Prideaux, David

Keyword(s): Irish ; Lyrics ; MUSIC ; RHYME ; SONG ; Tune

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest
Filter - Mature Content

Date learned: 00-00-1959

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