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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive
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RIDDLE QUESTION
WHY COULD THE BOY READ SO WELL IN THE DARK?
BECAUSE HE WENT TO NIGHT SCHOOL
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN
Keyword(s): PUN
| Subject headings: | RIDDLE -- Riddle Question |
Date learned: 10-16-1969
RIDDLE QUESTION
WHAT DO YOU CALL A COON WHO SELLS NECKTIES?
A TYCOON
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN
| Subject headings: | RIDDLE -- Riddle Question |
Date learned: 10-16-1969
PRIESTLY ADVICE TO ME-- DON'T BECOME PART ITALIAN ON DATES-- ROMAN
HANDS.
Submitter comment: THIS WAS PRIESTLY ADVICE TO ME IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RIVERVIEW
James Callow Keyword(s): FUNCTION ; PUN: ROMAN AND ROAMIN' (ROAMING)
| Subject headings: | SPEECH -- Formula |
Date learned: 00-00-1974
If your soap breaks in two, it's a true sign of parting.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SAINT CLAIR
Keyword(s): breaking up, end
James Callow Keyword(s): SYMBOL
| Subject headings: | 686 Seconds / Twice / Two BELIEF -- Street Trip Relations between relatives, friends, host and guest Social class Rank BELIEF -- Marriage |
Date learned: 00-00-1991
RIDDLE QUESTION
WHAT DID PAUL REVERE SAY WHEN HE ENDED HIS FAMOUS RIDE?
WHOA}
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN
Keyword(s): HISTORICAL
| Subject headings: | RIDDLE -- Riddle Question |
Date learned: 10-16-1969
(TELLER YELLS BOO: AT EXCITING POINT
I WAS ON A CANOE TRIP A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, ALONG WITH
ANOTHER COUNSELOR AND OUR CABIN GROUPS. WE WERE UP ALONG
THE AU SABLE RIVER. ONE NIGHT ABOUT ELEVEN, AFTER THE
KIDS WERE ALL ASLEEP, ROSS, THE OTHER COUNSELOR AND
MYSELF, WERE SITTING AROUND THE FIRE DRINKING COFFEE,
WHEN WE HEARD SOME SORT OF ANIMAL COMING THROUGH THE BRUSH
A COUPLE OF HUDNRED YARDS AWAY. WE KNEW THAT IT WAS A
BIG ANIMAL, FROM THE NOISE IT MADE, AND WE FIGURED THAT
IT WAS PROBABLY A SPOOKED DEER OR A WANDERING BEAR.
WHATEVER KIND OF ANIMAL IT WAS, THE FIRE WOULD KEEP IT
AWAY. SOMETHING WAS WRONG, BECAUSE INSTEAD OF MOVING
AWAY FROM THE FIRE AS IT SHOULD OF, IT MOVED TO WITHIN
60 YARDS OF THE FIRE AND BEGAN CIRCLING, EACH CIRCLE
SEEMING TO GET SMALLER AND SMALLER. INSTEAD OF THE FIRE
SCARING AWAY THIS ANIMAL, IT ALMOST SEEMED TO BE
ATTRACTING IT. WELL, AFTER ABOUT FIVE OR TEN MINUTES OF
THIS, I WAS LIMITING MYSELF TO THREE POSSIBLE CHOICES OF
ACTION. NUMBER ONE--GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. NUMBER
TWO--TAKE THE KIDS AND ROSS WITH ME. AND THEN GET THE
HELL OUT OF THERE. NUMBER THREE--HAVE ROSS INVESTIGATE
THE SOUNDS AND OUR STALKING. JUST AS I HAD REACHED MY
DECISION, THE ANIMAL PASSED OVER A RISE ABOUT FIFTY YARDS
FROM US. THE MOON MADE HIM A SHADOW UPON HER FACE.
WE COULD SEE THAT OUR VISITOR WAS A MAN. ROSS CALLED
OUT TO HIM AND ASKED IF HE WANTED A CUP OF COFFEE. THE
MAN HESITATED FOR A MINUTE, THEN WALKED TOWARD OUR CAMP-
SITE. HE STOPPED JUST OUTSIDE THE LIGHT FROM OUR FIRE
AND SEEMED TO BE TURNING AROUND AGAIN, WHEN ROSS ASKED
AGAIN FOR HIM TO STAY A WHILE AND HAVE THAT CUP OF COFFEE.
THE MAN DID THEN COME TO THE FIRE AND SQUATTED DOWN
BESIDE IT AS ROSS HANDED HIM THE CUP. THERE WAS SOMETHING
FUNNY ABOUT THIS MAN, AND IT WAS NOT A FUNNY HA-HA, IT
WAS FUNNY WEIRD. HE WAS DRESSED IN A BUSINESS SUIT AND
THOUGH IT WAS TORN AND DIRTY FROM WALKING THROUGH THE
DARKENED WOODS, IT WAS OBVIOUSLY SOMEWHAT NEW AND
EXPENSIVE SUIT. I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT A MAN WOULD
BE DOING WANDERING IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE DRESSED AS
HE WAS. I ASKED, "HAVE YOU BEEN IN AN ACCIDENT, ARE YOU
LOST?" HE JUST KEPT STARING AT THE FIRE. ROSS ASKED,
"CAN WE HELP YOU, ARE YOU IN TROUBLE?" THE MAN ANSWERED,
"NO ONE CAN HELP ME, NO ONE. YOU SEE I AM GOING TO DIE."
I SAID, "GROOVY, ROSS I'LL GO GET THE BOYS UP AND WE CAN
BE READY TO LEAVE IN TEN MINUTES." I WHISPERED TO ROSS,
"THIS GUY'S SOME KIND OF NUT, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE."
ROSS SAID, "HOLD ON FOR A MINUTE, BOB, THIS GUY'S NOT
CRAZY, HE'S JUST SCARED, REAL SCARED, SOMETHING IS SCARING
HIM TO DEATH." I STARTED SAYING, "ROSS IF YOU THINK HE'S
SCARED, YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET, WATCH ME FOR A WHILE
. . . ." ROSS SAID, "JUST WAIT A FEW MINUTES, MAYBE WE CAN
HELP HIM." I SAID, "I GUESS YOU'RE ALRIGHT, MAYBE WE CAN
HELP THIS KOOK." "WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM MISTER?" I ASKED
HIM. "I'M GOING TO DIE," HE SAID AGAIN, ROSS ASKED, "WHY
DO YOU SAY THAT, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO DIE, HOW ARE YOU
GOING TO DIE?" THE MAN ANSWERED THAT "I WILL DIE AT
MIDNIGHT TONIGHT, MY FIRST PARTNER DIED ONE YEAR AGO
TODAY, AND MY SECOND PARTNER DIED SIX MONTHS AGO TODAY,
NOW IT IS MY TURN TO DIE." I SAID, "I TOLD YOU ROSS,
HE'S SOME KIND OF NUT . . . ." THE MAN ASKED, "WHAT TIME IS
IT, HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO LIVE?" "IT'S 11:30," ANSWERED
ROSS. "ONE HALF HOUR LEFTTO LIVE," THE MAN SAID. I ASKED,
"MISTER, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO DIE?" "I DON'T KNOW," HE
SAID, "ALL I KNOW IS THAT I'M GOING TO DIE AT MIDNIGHT."
THE NEXT WENTY MINUTES PASSED SLOWLY, THE MAN REFUSED TO
SAY ANOTHER WORD. FINALLY, HE ASKED, "WHAT TIME IS IT?"
"FIVE OF, MISTER, " I SAID.... "WHAT TIME IS IT," HE
ASKED. "FOUR OF, MISTER," I SAID. . . . "WHAT TIME IS
IT?" HE ASKED AGAIN. "TWO MINUTES OF," ROSS ANSWERED.
HE SAID, "WILL YOU GIVE THIS LETTER TO MY WIFE, AFTER
I DIE?" I SAID, "I WOULD." "WHAT TIME IS IT?" ONE
MINUTE TO," I SAID. "WHAT TIME IS IT?" "MIDNIGHT," ROSS
SAID. "WHAT TIME IS IT?" THE MAN ASKED. "ONE MINUTE
AFTER," I SAID.
Submitter comment:
AT THIS POINT THE TELLER OF THE STORY, SHOULD YELL "BOO"
OR SOME EQUALLY CLEVER REMARK, IN ORDER TO CAUSE THE
LISTENER TO DIE OF A HEART ATTACK.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; CAMP OHIYESA ; ESCANABA
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale |
Date learned: NOT
(DEATH TO LISTENER)
WHEN I FIRST BECAME A SOUNSELOR I WAS STATIONED AT A
CAMP UP IN NORTHERN MICHIGAN. FOR REASONS WHICH WILL
BE OBVIOUS, I WON'T MENTION THE NAME OF THE CAMP.
DURING MY FIRST WEKK, WE HAD NOT BEEN ASSIGNED ANY
CABINS YET, SO I WAS STAYING , ALONG WITH ABOUT HALF
THE OTHER COUNSELORS, IN THE HOSPITAL AT THE CAMP.
ABOUT ELEVEN ON--I THINK IT WAS A TUESDAY NIGHT--I
HEARD THIS HORRIBLE SCREAM. I RAN TO THE WOMEN'S DORM
AND FOUND THE NURSE JUST LYING ON THE FLOOR; SHE HAD
FAINTED. SHE JUST KEPT MUMBLING DA GRU, DA GRU. ABOUT
THIS TIME SOME OF THE OTHER COUNSELORS ARRIVED. AFTER
THE NURSE HAD RECOVERED, I ASKED MY UNIT LEADER WHAT THIS
DA GRU STUFF WAS. HE LOOKED AROUND THE ROOM AND THERE
IN THE WINDOW WAS A PIECE OF CHAIN. NOW THAT HE WAS SURE
IT WAS DA GRU, HE WOULD TELL ME ABOUT HIM. "DA GRU,"
HE SAID, "WAS A DUTCHMAN WHO OWNED PART OF THE LAND THE
CAMP WAS BUILT ON. ABOUT TWENTY YEARS AGO, THE PEOPLE
WHO PURCHASED THIS LAND FROM DA GRU CHEATED HIM ON THE
PRICE. THEY DID NOT PAY HIM THE TRUE VALUE OF THE LAND.
WHEN DA GRU DISCOVERED THAT HE HAD BEEN CHEATED, HE VOWED
TO GET REVENGE. THAT SAME YEAR SOME OF THE BUILDINGS
WERE DAMAGED, BEATEN BY CHAINS. THE NEXT YEAR, SOME
OF THE ANIMALS KEPT AT THE CAMP WERE FOUND WITH CHAINS
WRAPPED AROUND THEIR THROATS. THAT NIGHT THE ANIMALS
WERE KILLED. SOME OF THE COUNSELORS HAD HEARD THE
SOUND OF THE CHAINS AND HEARD THIS PECULIAR "OOOING"
SOUND. THEY RAN TO THE BARN WHERE THEY FOUND THE DEAD
ANIMALS AND CAUGHT A GLIMPSE OF DA GRU ENTERING THE
NEARBY WOODS. FOR ABOUT FIVE YEARS NO ONE HAD HEARD OF
OF DA GRU AGAIN TILL TWO CAMPERS WERE FOUND STRANGLED
AND BEATEN BY CHAINS. A MASS MANHUNT WAS BEGUN TO
CAPTURE DA GRU. THEY FOUND HIM IN HIS CABIN, HANGING
BY A CHAIN. HE HAD HUNT HIMSELF. BESIDE HIM WAS A
NOTE WHICH SAID IN EFFECT, THAT HIS REVENGE WAS NOT
COMPLETE.
I SAID, "HOLD IT, YOU JUST SAID DA GRU WAS DEAD. HOW
COULD HE BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE NURSE FAINTING AND THE
CHAIN ON THE WINDOW?" HE ASKED ME TO LET HIM CONTINUE.
FOR ABOUT TEN YEARS NO MORE WAS THOUGHT OF THE MAD MAN,
UNTIL FIVE YEARS AGO WHEN THE CAMP DISCOVERED THAT PART
OF THE LAND PURCHASED FROM DA GRU HAD A MINERAL VALUE.
JUST AS THE CAMP WAS ABOUT TO SELL SOME OF THIS LAND,
FOR A LARGE PROFIT, ONE OF THE CAMPERS WAS FOUND
MURDERED -- BEATEN WITH CHAINS. HIS FRIEND WAS FOUND
INJURED BUT ALIVE. ALL HE COULD SAY WAS 'DA GRU, DA
GRU.' THE MEN WHO FOUND HIM REPORTED HEARING THIS
STRANGE "OOOING" SOUND AND THE CLINK OF CHAINS. THE
DEAL TO SELL THE LAND FELL THROUGH, TILL A COUPLE OF
DAYS AGO. NOW THE CAMP IS AGAIN CONSIDERING SELLING
SOME OF THIS LAND. THE STORY GOES THAT DA GRU WOULD
RATHER KILL THAN ALLOW THIS PROFIT TO TAKE PLACE TO THE
PEOPLE WHO CHEATED HIM.
I ASKED, "DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THIS STORY?" HE
SAID, "YOU WILL AFTER TOMORROW NIGHT. WE ARE GOING TO
CAPTURE DA GRU." WELL WE, THAT IS MYSELF AND THE OTHER
COUNSELORS, WITHOUT ANY INTELLIGENCE WENT ON A WILD
GHOST CHASE. THE PLAN WAS SIMPLE: A GOAT WOULD BE TIED
IN THE MIDDLE OF AN OPEN FIELD, WITH A BELL AROUND ITS
NECK. ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE IN THE CAMP WOULD REMAIN
INDOORS AS WELL AS ALL THE ANIMALS, FOR IT SEEMED THAT
DA GRU COULD NOT ENTER A LOCKED WINDOW OR DOOR. THE REST
OF US WOULD REMAIN HIDDEN TILL WE HEARD THE GOAT BEING
KILLED. WE WOULD THEN, WITH THE AID OF SOME CHARM,
WHICH I HAD NO IDEA HOW IT WOULD WORK, PROCEED TO BEAT
THE GHOST WITH THE SAME CHAINS HE COMMITTED HIS DEEDS WITH.
WE WERE ALSO ARMED WITH A HEALTHY COLLECTION OF BASEBALL
BATS, B. B. GUNS AND TWENTY-TWOS. ABOUT MIDNIGHT WE HEARD
THE CRYING OF THE GOAT AND WE RAN TO THE FIELD. WE
COULD HEAR THE SOUND OF THE CHAIN AND THE STRANGE
"OOOING" SOUND. WE FOUND THE GOAT DEAD, BUT ALSO CAUGHT
A GLIMPSE OF SOME FIGURE WALKING AWAY TOWARD AN OLD CAMP-
FIRE SITE. WE CAUTIOUSLY INCHED OUR WAY DOWN THE PATH.
"WHERE IS HE?" I ASKED "WHERE?" SOMEONE WHISPERED. "I
DON'T SEE HIM," ANOTHER MANAGED TO BREATHE. "MIKE,
WHERE IS HE," (AT THIS POINT YELL "THERE", WITH ALL
YOU'VE GOT).
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; CAMP OHIYESA ; ESCANABA
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
ELEPHANT JOKE
WHY DO ELEPHANTS WEAR PINK TENNIS SHOES?
BECAUSE THEIR BLUE TENNIS SHOES ARE IN THE WASH
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN
| Subject headings: | RIDDLE -- Riddle Question |
Date learned: 10-16-1969
COMPUTER ROOM GOOD LUCK CONVERSION
WHEN YOU ARE READING YOUR CARDS INTO THE COMPUTER YOU SHOULD RUB THE
CARD READER AND CALL IT POOH POOH. THIS WILL MAKE THE COMPUTER LIKE
YOU AND THE CARDS WILL BE READ IN WITHOUT A HITCH AND YOUR JOB WILL
BE PROCESSED QUICKLY.
Submitter comment:
WHILE NOT MANY PEOPLE MAY OPENLY PROFESS TO THE BELIEF THAT THE
COMPUTER CAN LIKE YOU, IT MAY NEVERTHELESS BE WIDESPREAD.
I HAVE ONLY NOTICED THREE PEOPLE DOING THIS, INCLUDING MYSELF.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BLOOMFIELD HILLS
James Callow Keyword(s): MODERN FOLKLORE
| Subject headings: | Charm / Enchantment / Conjuration BELIEF -- Conversions |
Date learned: 11-23-1979
JUMP ROPE RHYME
POTATOES, CARROTS,TOMATOES, PEAS.
YOUR MOTHER SAYS YOU GOTTA EAT A LOTTA THESE.
LITTLE MACARONIS YA TOSS IN A SOUP
PUT IT ALL TOGETHER AND CALL IT CAMPBELL'S SOUP !
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Farmington Hills
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Game Verse Game Verse |
Date learned: 00-00-1968
BUG AUTOMOBILE GAME
THIS GAME IS PLAYED IN THE CAR ON THE EXPRESSWAY DURING A LONG TRIP
TO MAKE IT LESS BORING. WHEN YOU THINK YOU SEE A VOLKSWAGEN BUG YOU
YELL OUT BUG FOLLOWED BY ITS COLOR. THE FIRST PERSON TO FINISH
SAYING BUG GETS ONE POINT. VOLKSWAGEN RABBITS OR BUSES DO NOT
COUNT. IF YOU YELL OUT BUG AND THERE IS NONE YOU LOSE ONE POINT,
UNLESS YOU THOUGHT A RABBIT OR BUS WAS A BUG IN WHICH CASE YOUR SCOR
STAYS THE SAME. IF THE DRIVER IS SPEEDING HE MIGHT MAKE A STATE
HIGHWAY PATROL OR COP WORTH THREE POINTS AND A COUNTY MOUNTY WORTH
TWO POINTS. YOU DO NOT LOSE POINTS FOR MISTAKEN COPS. PARKED
VOLKSWAGENS OR DEAD BUGS ARE WORTH ONE HALF POINT BUT VOLKSWAGEN
DEALERSHIPS DO NOT COUNT. ONE STRATEGY WHEN YOU SEE A FIAT OR
CHEVETTE IN THE DISTANCE IS TO YELL OUT BUS OR BU HOPING THE OTHER
PERSON WILL YELL OUT BUG MISTAKENLY AND LOSE A POINT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BLOOMFIELD HILLS
James Callow Keyword(s): QUICKNESS GAME
| Subject headings: | Favorites Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Game Pastime Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Special Object or Implement |
Date learned: 11-23-1979
MOTHERS USED TO GIVE THEIR CHILDREN BIG SPOONS OF CASTOR
OIL JUST BEFORE SPRING TO RID THEM OF WINTER GERMS AND
DISEASES.
Where learned: HOME ; MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Remedy |
Date learned: 00001970S
MY NEIGHBOR WAS WALKING DOWN THE STREET
AND PASSED BY A YOUNG MAN WALKING THE
OPPOSITE WAY, WHEN MY NEIGHBOR LOOKED
AROUND TO SAY GOODBYE TO THE GENTLEMAN
THE MAN HAD VANISHED.
Where learned: HOME ; MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Ghost Spirit Phantom Specter |
Date learned: 00001980S
WHEN MY FATHER WAS 4 YRS OLD HE LOOKED
OUT THE KITCHEN WINDOW AND SAW THE FACE
OF A BABY BOY AND LATER ON HIS MOTHER
GAVE BIRTH TO A BABY BOY THAT LOOKED JUST LIKE
THE BABY IN THE VISION MY FATHER SAW.
Where learned: HOME ; MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Ghost Spirit Phantom Specter BELIEF -- Birth |
Date learned: 00001980S
EENIE MEENIE MIENIE MO, CATCH A TIGER BY THE TOE
IF HE HOLLARS LET HIM GO, EENIE MEENIE MIENIE MO.
Submitter comment:
TOLD AS A RIDDLE IN A GAME TO DECIDE WHO WAS
"IT."
Where learned: HOME ; MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; friends ; PLAYING
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Game Verse Game Verse Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Speech Speech |
Date learned: 00001960S
YANKEE DOODLE WENT TO TOWN
STUCK A FEATHER IN HIS CROWN
CALLED HIM MACCARONI.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children |
Date learned: DATE NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR.
SARCASTIC PROVERB ABOUT ACQUIRING MATERIAL GOODS
HE WHO DIES WITH THE MOST TOYS WINS.
Submitter comment: THIS PROVERB IS MEANT AS A JOKE ABOUT BECOMING WEALTHY.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GROSSE POINTE ; OUT AT A BAR
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
RIDDLE
Q.WHAT IS BLACK AND WHITE AND RED ALL OVER?
A. A MAD ZEBRA.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BIRMINGHAM ; OUR LADY QUEEN OF MARTYRS SCHOOL
| Subject headings: | RIDDLE -- Riddle Question |
Date learned: 09-25-1965
PROVERB
LONG MAY YOUR LUM REEK.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; OSCODA
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: 00-00-1968
IT'S A POOR BIRD THAT SHITS IN HIS OWN NEST.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; OSCODA
Keyword(s): FECES
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: 00-00-1975