The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

FORMULA SPEECH

WHEN TWO PEOPLE SAY THE SAME WORD OR PHRASE AT THE SAME TIME, THE
FIRST ONE WHO PUNCHES THE OTHER ON THE ARM, AND SAYS "COKE," IS
SUPPOSED TO BE BOUGHT A COKE BY THE OTHER. (IN MY WORDS)

Submitter comment: OCCASIONALLY, BESIDES SAYING THE ORIGINAL WORD TWICE, WHEN BOTH
PEOPLE ARE AWARE OF THE GAME USING "COKE," THEY MIGHT BOTH SAY THE
WORD "COKE," ITSELF AT THE SAME TIME, IN ATTEMPTING TO BEAT THEIR
OPPONENT AT SAYING IT. WHEN THIS HAPPENS, THE QUICK THINKER IMMEDI-
ATELY REPEATS "COKE" AGAIN, AND HE'S NOW THE WINNER. WHEN TWO ARE
BOTH VERY MUCH AWARE OF HOW THE GAME WORKS, THIS QUITE OFTEN HAP-
PENS. THE RESULT IS THAT THE TWO PEOPLE MAY SAY "COKE" TOGETHER
FOUR OR FIVE TIMES IN A ROW. THE QUICK PLAYER NOW OFTEN SAYS "COKE,
NO RETURNS, STOP," AND HE IS THE WINNER.
JUST LIKE ANY OTHER BET MADE IN FUN, THIS ONE IS RARELY PAID OFF, AND
IS NOT EVEN EXPECTED TO BE. THE FUN IS MERELY IN THE DOING OF IT.

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

Date learned: 10-00-1973

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JUMP-ROPE RHYME AND CHEER

CHARLEY MCCARTHEY,
DOROTHY LAMOUR,
MAMA'S LITTLE BABY GONNA ROCK TONIGHT
HEY BOB-A-REE-BA--FIGHT, FIGHT
HEY BOB-A-REE-BA--FIGHT, FIGHT
MAMA'S LITTLE BABY GONNA ROCK TONIGHT

Submitter comment: THIS WAS USED BY MY SISTER AND HER CHILDHOOD FRIENDS PRIMARILY
FOR JUMP-ROPE, BUT ALSO AS A CHEER. BEFORE THEY WERE CORRECTED, SOME
OF THE GIRLS (INCLUDING MY SISTER,) USED TO SAY "DOROTHY MAMOOR"
BECAUSE OF THEIR UNFAMILIARITY WITH HER.

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

James Callow Keyword(s): RADIO AND MOVIE PERSONALITIES

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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PARODY OF CHRISTMAS SONG

(SUNG TO THE TUNE OF "WE THREE KINGS OF ORIENT ARE")
WE THREE KINGS OF ORIENT ARE
SMOKING ON A RUBBER CIGAR
IT WAS LOADED AND EXPLODED
OVER OUR FRANKINCENSE
OH-OH-OH
STAR OF WONDER, STAR OF LIGHT
THIS ONE DIED ON FRIDAY NIGHT
THIS ONE DIED ON SATURDAY, AND
THIS ONE DIED ON SUNDAY NIGHT

Submitter comment: I FIRST HEARD THIS SONG AT MY GRADE SCHOOL; (ST. MARY IN
MASSILLON, OHIO) USUALLY ONLY AROUND THE CHRISTMAS SEASON. ADULTS
DIDN'T SEEM TO KNOW IT, AND WERE SOMETIMES SHOCKED UPON HEARING
IT-- NOTABLY THE SCHOOL NUNS. FOR A WHILE I FORGOT ABOUT IT, BUT THEN
I HEARD IT AGAIN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL (CENTRAL CATHOLIC IN CANTON,
OHIO,) FROM OTHERS.

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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AUTOGRAPH VERSE

WHEN YOU ARE OLD AND OUT OF SHAPE
REMEMBER GIRDLES ARE $2.98

Submitter comment: WRITTEN IN 1965

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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AUTOGRAPH VERSE

ROSES ARE BLUE
VIOLETS ARE RED
IF YOU BELIEVE THIS
EXAMINE YOUR HEAD

Submitter comment: WRITTEN IN 1965

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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MEANS OF CAUSING OR AVOIDING ILLNESS (RHEUMATISM)

BEING EXPOSED TO EITHER A FAN OR TO AIR-CONDITIONING FOR MORE THAN
A FEW MINUTES AT A TIME WILL EVENTUALLY GIVE ONE RHEUMATISM.

Submitter comment: THIS BELIEF IS SHARED BY A PROPORTIONATE NUMBER OF LABORERS AT
REPUBLIC STEEL PLANT IN MASSILLON, OHIO WHERE I WAS EMPLOYED DURING
THE SUMMER OF 1973. I FIRST LEARNED OF THIS BELIEF WHEN I WAS
STANDING IN FRONT OF A FAN, AND A CO-WORKER, AGED ABOUT 60, TOLD ME
THAT DOING THAT JUST A LITTLE AT A TIME DOES SOMETHING TO YOUR SYSTEM
AND IN A FEW YEARS WOULD GIVE ME RHEUMATISM. HE KNEW OTHERS IT HAD
HAPPENED TO, AND HE HIMSELF AVOIDED (OR CLAIMED TO AVOID) FANS FOR
LONG PERIODS OF TIME BECAUSE OF THIS. I LATER HEARD SIMILAR COMMENTS
FROM OTHER WORKERS, RANGING IN AGE FROM 40 TO 60. SOME QUALIFIED
THAT IT IS TRUE ONLY IF YOU ARE PERSPIRING IN FRONT OF A FAN, WHILE
OTHERS CLAIMED THAT PERSPIRATION WAS NOT A NECESSARY CONDITION; IN
FACT, AIR-CONDITIONING HAS THE SAME RESULTS, AND MANY PEOPLE GETTING
THEIR HOMES AIR-CONDITIONED TODAY DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THIS, BUT THEY
WILL BE SORRY AFTER AWHILE. SOME CLAIMED THAT BUSINESSMEN WITH AIR-
CONDITIONED OFFICES HAVE DEVELOPED RHEUMATISM, TOO. ONE MAN TOLD ME
ABOUT THE BELIEF WHILE A FAN WAS ON US BOTH. HE STARTED YELLING
WORDS TO THE EFFECT, "TURN THAT THING OFF! I DON'T WANT IT ON ME!"
AND PROCEEDED TO TELL ME HIS VERSION OF THE BELIEF. BUT WHEN I LATER
OFFERED TO TURN THE FAN IN THE OTHER DIRECTION, HE TOLD ME TO NEVER
MIND--AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, ONCE MORE WOULDN'T HURT OR HELP HIM.

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

Date learned: 07-00-1973

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SOUP PICNIC

EVERY LABOR DAY, FOR AT LEAST FORTY YEARS, BUT NOT SINCE 1971,
THE ROHR FAMILY HELD WHAT THEY CALLED A "SOUP PICNIC." EACH INDI-
VIDUAL FAMILY WOULD BRING A PAN OF VEGETABLE SOUP, AND AT THE PICNIC
SITE (WHICH TRADED OFF FROM FAMILY TO FAMILY YEARLY) THE SOUPS WOULD
BE COMBINED IN A BIG BUTCHERING KETTLE, AND HEATED OVER AN OPEN
FIRE. THE FAMILY MADE A DAY OF IT, AND WOULD EAT THE SOUP BOTH FOR
LUNCH AND SUPPER THAT DAY.
WHEN THE CUSTOM FIRST STARTED, THE MEALS CONSISTED SOLELY OF
SOUP AND CRACKERS. AFTER A FEW YEARS, CORN ON THE COB WAS ADDED,
SINCE MANY OF THE FAMILY MEMBERS WERE GROWING IT, AND IT WAS PLENTI-
FUL DURING THE LATE SUMMER. AFTER A FEW YEARS, DESSERTS WERE ALSO
ADDED TO THE TRADITION, BUT IT WAS ALWAYS KEPT AT THAT--NEVER ANY
SIDE DISHES, OR MEAT (OTHER THAN THAT IN THE SOUP ITSELF.) (IN MY
WORDS)

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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IF YOU PLEASE MISS NELLIE

BOY: IF YOU PLEASE, MISS NELLIE
WHY DO YOU WEAR A FROWN?
YESTERDAY I WAS LONELY
BECAUSE YOU WENT TO TOWN
GIRL: NO SIR, YOU WERE NOT LONELY
I SAW YOU OUT WITH BESSIE BROWN
I SAW YOU BITE HER APPLE
I SAW YOU TWIST HER CURL
BOY: I WAS JUST TALKING TO HER
GIRL: WELL, THEN GO TALK SOME MORE
BOY: NELLIE, DO BE MY PLAYMATE
JUST AS YOU WERE BEFORE
BOTH: PLAYMATES, PLAYMATES
SINCE OUR BABY DAYS
LITTLE PLAYMATES
TRA, LA, LA
BOTH: NOW WE QUARREL - LA, LA, LA
GIRL: RUN RIGHT AWAY, YOU BIG BILLY GRAY
FOR I SHALL BE TEDDY'S GIRL
BOY: HERE IS A ROSY APPLE
GIRL: GIVE IT TO BESSIE BROWN
BOY: SEE HERE I HAVE A BRAND NEW DIME
I CAN BUY TWO BIG ICE CREAMS
BESSIE'S THEY'LL BE AND MINE
GIRL: I WAS JUST FOOLING, BILLY
OF COURSE I DIDN'T MEAN IT SO
BILLY COME BACK, I WON'T PLAY WITH JACK
YOU'RE THE BEST BOY I KNOW
BOTH: PLAYMATES, PLAYMATES
SINCE OUR BABY DAYS
LITTLE PLAYMATES
TRA, LA, LA
THAT'S HOW IT IS, JUST HOW IT IS
WITH A SAUCER OF PINK ICE CREAM

Submitter comment: SINCE THE TWO CHARACTERS IN THIS SONG ARE YOUNG, IT SHOULD
IDEALLY BE SUNG BY TWO SMALL CHILDREN. MY FATHER AND AUNT PERFORMED
IT AT A CHURCH SHOW WHEN THEY WERE AGED 8 AND 10, RESPECTIVELY.
BOTH REMEMBERED IT INDEPENDENTLY, WORD FOR WORD, THOUGH NEITHER WAS
ABLE TO RECALL FROM WHERE THEY ORIGINALLY LEARNED IT.

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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OCTOBER GAVE A PARTY

OCTOBER GAVE A PARTY
THE LEAVES BY HUNDREDS CAME
THE CHESTNUT, OAK, AND MAPLE
AND LEAVES OF EVERY NAME
THE SUNSHINE SPREAD THE CARPET
AND EVERYTHING LOOKED GRAND
MISS WEATHER LED THE DANCING
PROFESSOR WIND THE BAND
THE CHESTNUTS CAME IN YELLOW
THE OAK IN CRIMSON DRESS
THE LOVELY MRS. MAPLE
IN SCARLET LOOKED HER BEST
ALL DANCED TO THEIR PARTNERS
AND GAILY FLUTTERED BY
THE SWEET ONE LIKE A RAINBOW
NEW-FALLEN FROM THE SKY
THEN IN THE RUSTIC BILLOW
AT HIDE AND SEEK THEY PLAYED
THE PARTY BROKE AT SUNDOWN
BUT STILL THE LEAVES ALL STAYED
PROFESSOR WIND PLAYED LOUDER
THEY FLEW ALONG THE GROUND
AND HERE THE PARTY ENDED
WITH A JOLLY OLD HAND ROUND

Submitter comment: THIS SONG WAS LEARNED BY MY AUNT FROM HER MOTHER WHEN SHE WAS
SIX YEARS OLD.

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

James Callow Keyword(s): AUTUMN ; PERSONIFICATION

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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I'M A PRETTY LITTLE KITTEN

I'M A PRETTY LITTLE KITTEN
MY NAME IS TABBY GRAY
I LIVE OUT IN THE COUNTRY
SO MANY MILES AWAY
MY EYES ARE DARK AS HAZEL
MY FUR IS SOFT AS SILK
I'M FURNISHED IN THE MORNING
WITH A SAUCER FULL OF MILK
THE MILK COMES FRESH AND FOAMY
FRESH FROM THE GOOD OLD COW
AND AFTER I HAVE LAPPED IT
I FROLIC YOU KNOW HOW
I'M PETTED BY THE CHILDREN
THE MISTRESS OF THE HOUSE
AND SOMETIMES WHEN I'M NIMBLE
I CAN CATCH A LITTLE MOUSE
BUT SOMETIMES WHEN I'M NAUGHTY
I CLIMB UPON THE STAND
AND EAT THE CAKE OR CHICKEN
OR ANYTHING I CAN
AW, THEN THEY HIDE MY SAUCER
NO MATTER HOW I MEW
AND THAT'S THE WAY I'M PUNISHED
FOR THE NAUGHTY THINGS I DO

Submitter comment: THIS SONG HAS BEEN KNOWN BY MY AUNT SINCE SHE WAS A SMALL GIRL,
AND SHE USED TO SING IT TO ME WHEN I WAS A SMALL CHILD. SHE HAS
LONG HAD IT MEMORIZED. I HAVE SEEN IN CHILDREN'S STORY-BOOKS A SIM-
ILAR STORY (NOT SET TO MUSIC) ABOUT A HORSE NAMED DAPPLE GRAY, BUT
HAVE NEVER SEEN OR HEARD THE KITTEN VERSION ANYWHERE OTHER THAN FROM
MY AUNT, AND IT IS THE ONLY VERSION SHE KNOWS.

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

James Callow Keyword(s): CAT

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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FIVE-WAY TIC-TAC-TOE

TO PLAY FIVE-WAY TIC-TAC-TOE, A SHEET OF GRAPH PAPER IS USED BY
TWO PLAYERS, WHO TRY TO BUILD ROWS OF FIVE "X" OR "O", DEPENDING
ON THE PLAYER'S RESPECTIVE SYMBOL. UNLIKE CONVENTIONAL TIC-TAC-TOE,
IN WHICH A NEW GRID IS DRAWN AFTER A PLAYER (OR CAT) WINS A GAME,
FIVE-WAY KEEPS THE GAME GOING CONSTANTLY: SINCE THERE ARE SO MANY
SPACES, AS SOON AS ONE ROW OF FIVE IS COMPLETED, THE GAME DOES NOT
STOP, BUT CONTINUES, WITH PLAYERS TRYING TO COMPILE AS MANY ROWS AS
POSSIBLE. THE WINNER IS THE ONE WHO BUILDS THE MOST ROWS IN A PRE-
DETERMINED AMOUNT OF TIME, OR WITHIN A GIVEN AMOUNT OF SPACE.

Submitter comment: THIS GAME WAS POPULAR TO PLAY BETWEEN (AND DURING) CLASSES AT MY
HIGH-SCHOOL (CEETRAL CATHOLIC IN CANTON, OHIO),
ESPECIALLY DURING A
"FIVE-WAY FAD" IN 1970.
A FEW SIMPLE VARIATIONS OF THE GAME WERE PLAYED, ONE WHICH
ALLOWED ANY NUMBER OF PLAYERS TO PARTICIPATE, BY USING ANOTHER SYM-
BOL, SUCH AS A LETTER; SOMETIMES INITIALS WOULD BE USED FOR EASE IN
IDENTIFICATION, AND RARELY, ROWS WOULD BE DETERMINED BY COLORING IN
BLOCKS WITH A COLORED PEN AT YOUR TURN.

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

Date learned: 10-00-1973

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COLORED EGGS

AT LEAST THREE PLAYERS ARE NEEDED, BUT THE MORE THE BETTER. ONE KID
PLAYS THE WOLF, ONE PLAYS THE MOTHER, AND THE REST ARE EGGS. BEFORE
THE GAME STARTS, THE WOLF GOES AWAY WHERE HE CANNOT HEAR, WHILE THE
MOTHER ASSIGNS EACH OF THE EGGS A COLOR. AT THE GAME'S START, THE
WOLF KNOCKS AT AN IMAGINARY DOOR AND THE MOTHER ANSWERS. HE ASKS HER
IF SHE HAS ANY COLORED EGGS. SHE REPLIES "NO." BUT AT THAT MOMENT
ALL THE EGGS IN THE BACKGROUND GO "PEEP-PEEP-PEEP." HE PUSHES THE
MOTHER ASIDE, AND GOES INTO THE "HOUSE." HE THEN NAMES OFF COLORS
UNTIL HE GUESSES THE COLOR OF ONE OF THE EGGS. THAT EGG MUST THEN
RUN AROUND A DESIGNATED AREA, SUCH AS THE BACK YARD. IF THE WOLF
CATCHES HIM, THAT EGG BECOMES THE WOLF, AND THE GAME STARTS ALL OVER
AGAIN, WITH THE ORIGINAL WOLF NOW BECOMING AN EGG, AND THE REST OF
THE EGGS GETTING NEW COLORS. (THE ROLE OF MOTHER MAY OR MAY NOT
ROTATE.) IF THE EGG IS NOT CAUGHT, HE GOES BACK TO THE HOUSE AND THE
WOLF GUESSES OTHER EGGS' COLORS. (IN MY WORDS)

Submitter comment: THIS GAME IS ESPECIALLY POPULAR WITH BOYS AND GIRLS UNDER AGE TEN.
AFTER THAT AGE, IT IS PLAYED ALMOST EXCLUSIVELY BY GIRLS. A POSSIBLE
EXPLANATION FOR THIS COULD BE THAT THE BOY DOES NOT LIKE HAVING TO
OCCASIONALLY TAKE THE ROLE OF THE MOTHER.

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

Date learned: 09-00-1973

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OLD WITCH, WHAT TIME IS IT?

ANY NUMBER CAN PLAY, THE MORE THE BETTER. ONE PERSON PLAYS THE
PART OF THE WITCH, AND SHE STANDS FAR AWAY FROM THE REST OF THE
PLAYERS, WITH HER BACK TURNED AWAY FROM THEM. THE FIRST PLAYER SAYS
TO THE WITCH, "OLD WITCH, WHAT TIME IS IT?" THE WITCH RESPONDS WITH
A TIME ON THE HOUR, SUCH AS 1, 2, OR ANYWHERE TO 12 O'CLOCK, AND THE
PERSON TAKES THAT MANY STEPS. EACH PLAYER DOES THIS IN TURN, AND
THEY KEEP REPEATING UNTIL A POINT WHERE THE WITCH BELIEVES ONE OF
THEM IS CLOSE TO HER. WHEN THAT PERSON AGAIN ASKS HER "OLD WITCH,
WHAT TIME IS IT," SHE SAYS (OR USUALLY YELLS) "TWELVE O'CLOCK MID-
NIGHT" AND TURNS AROUND RUNNING, TRYING TO CATCH THE PERSON. IF SHE
SUCCEEDS BEFORE THE PERSON REACHES THE STARTING POINT WHICH SERVES
AS BASE, THAT PERSON BECOMES THE WITCH FOR THE NEXT GAME. IF SHE
FAILS TO CATCH THE PERSON, SHE REMAINS THE WITCH. IN ADDITION, IF
THE PLAYER GETS CLOSE ENOUGH TO THE WITCH TO TOUCH HER WHEN SHE IS
STILL TURNED AROUND, HE MAY DO SO, AND SHE WILL STAY THE WITCH FOR
THE NEXT GAME. (IN MY WORDS)

Submitter comment: THE GAME DESCRIBED ABOVE IS THE "CORE" GAME, BUT THERE ARE MANY
VARIATIONS. IN ONE THE WITCH MAY SAY SOMETHING SUCH AS "13 O'CLOCK"
OR EVEN "100 O'CLOCK." ALSO, THE GAME MAY INCLUDE DIRECTIONS ON WHAT
TYPE OF STEPS TO TAKE: AFTER THE WITCH GIVES THE TIME, SHE TELLS YOU
TO TAKE REGULAR, GIANT, BABY, OR SARSAPARILLA STEPS. THE SARSAPA-
RILLA STEP IS MADE BY TURNING COMPLETE CIRCULAR REVOLUTIONS WHILE AT
THE SAME TIME ADVANCING.
BEFORE A GAME YOU USUALLY STATE WHICH VARIANTS YOU WILL BE USING,
UNLESS IT IS UNDERSTOOD THAT IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD, YOU USE THE SAME
VARIANTS ALL THE TIME.
WHEN YOU PLAY WITHOUT THE VARIANT WHICH DICTATES THE STEP SIZE
TO TAKE, STRATEGY CAN BE EMPLOYED. A PERSON MAY TAKE HUGE STEPS,
TRYING TO GET UP TO THE WITCH SOON SO THAT HE CAN TAP HER ON THE
BACK. OR HE MAY TAKE TINY STEPS SO THAT HE NEVER GETS TOO FAR AWAY
FROM THE BASE, THEREFORE AVOIDING BEING CAUGHT.
THE WITCH CAN USE STRATEGY ALSO, BY OCCASIONALLY SAYING "12
O'CLOCK NOONTIME," TRYING TO FOOL THE PERSON INTO THINKING SHE SAID
"12 O'CLOCK MIDNIGHT:" IF THE PERSON RUNS BEFORE HE REALIZES THIS,
HE IS AUTOMATICALLY MADE THE WITCH. THIS MAY WORK IN REVERSE AT
TIMES, BECAUSE THE PLAYER MAY THINK FOR A MOMENT THAT THE WITCH HAS
SAID "12 O'CLOCK NOONTIME" WHEN ACTUALLY SHE HAS SAID "12 O'CLOCK
MIDNIGHT" AND HE MIGHT STAND STILL FOR THAT MOMENT, GIVING THE WITCH
EXTRA TIME TO CATCH HIM.

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

Date learned: 09-00-1973

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JUMP-ROPE RHYME

I'M A LITTLE DUTCH GIRL DRESSED IN BLUE
HERE ARE THE THINGS I LIKE TO DO
WHISTLE TO THE CAPTAIN,
CURTSY TO THE QUEEN,
TURN MY BACK ON A SUBMARINE
I CAN TO THE HOOTCHIE-COO
I CAN DO THE FLIP
I CAN DO THEM JUST LIKE THIS

Submitter comment: WHEN THE JUMPER SAYS "JUST LIKE THIS," SHE JUMPS OUT.
A VARIANT OF THE FIRST TWO LINES IS:
I'M A LITTLE DUTCH GIRL DRESSED IN GREEN
HERE ARE THE THINGS I THINK ARE KEEN

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

James Callow Keyword(s): INITIAL ITERATION

Date learned: 09-00-1973

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JUMP-ROPE RHYME

JOHNNY OVER THE OCEAN
JOHNNY OVER THE SEA
JOHNNY BROKE A MILK-BOTTLE
AND BLAMED IT ON ME
I TOLD MA
MA TOLD PA
JOHNNY GOT A LICKIN'
HA, HA, HA
HOW MANY LICKINS DID HE GET?

Submitter comment: THE ROPE IS TWIRLED AT NORMAL RATE UNTIL THE CLOSE OF THE LAST LINE,
WHEN THE SPEED OF THE ROPE IS INCREASED. (KNOWN AS HOT PEPPERS.)
THEN THE JUMPER COUNTS A NUMBER FOR EACH SUCCESSIVE JUMP, EACH
REPRESENTING ONE LICKING.
AS SOON AS THE JUMPER MISSES, HER TURN IS OVER.

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

Date learned: 09-00-1973

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JUMP-ROPE RHYME

I WENT DOWNTOWN
TO SEE MISS BROWN.
SHE GAVE ME A NICKEL
TO BUY A PICKLE.
THE PICKLE WAS SOUR
SHE GAVE ME A DOLLAR
TO BUY A FLOWER.
ON THE FLOWER WAS A BEE
THE BEE STUNG ME.
HOW MANY STINGS DID I GET?

Submitter comment: THE ROPE IS TWIRLED AT NORMAL RATE UNTIL THE CLOSE OF THE LAST LINE,
WHEN THE SPEED OF THE ROPE IS INCREASED. (KNOWN AS HOT PEPPERS.)
THEN THE JUMPER COUNTS A NUMBER FOR EACH SUCCESSIVE JUMP, EACH
REPRESENTING A BEE'S
STING. AS SOON AS THE JUMPER MISSES, HER TURN IS
OVER.

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

Date learned: 09-00-1973

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I ONCE KNEW AN OLD MAN WHO DROVE HIS OLD MODEL A
INTO TOWN EVERYDAY TO BUY THE PAPER. ON HIS WAY,
HE OFTEN HAD TO STOP FOR A TRAFFIC LIGHT JUST
PAST A HIGH SCHOOL. A CERTAIN FRESH KID MADE A
HABIT OF PULLING ALONGSIDE, HOLLERING "WANNA
DRAG, POPS?" THEN AS THE LIGHT CHANGED, BLAST
OFF, LEAVING POPS IN A CLOUD OF SMOKE AND DUST.
WELL, POPS GOT TIRED OF THIS, SO ONE DAY HE WENT
DOWN TO JOE'S GARAGE AND SAYS TO JOE, "I WANT YOU
TO PUT IN THE BIGGEST ENGINE YOU CAN FIT UNDER THE
HOOD AND AN AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSION."
JOE WAS RATHER SKEPTICAL, BUT AGREED TO DO IT.
SEVERAL DAYS LATER, POPS PICKED UP THE CAR AND
LEFT THE GARAGE WITHOUT SEEING JOE.
THAT AFTERNOON, POPS WAS SITTING AT THE LIGHT,
WAITING. THE OLD MODEL SHAKING AND QUIVERING,
WHEN THE KID PULLED UP. POP HOLLERS, "DO YOU
WANNA DRAG?" NATURALLY, THE KID SAYS YES. THE
LIGHT CHANGES AND OFF THEY GO.
JOE, THE MECHANIC, PICKS UP HIS PHONE. IT'S POPS
"WHAT IS THE MATTER, POPS?" "COME SEE," SAYS POPS.
WHEN HE GETS THERE, JOE SEES PARTS STREWN ALL
ALONG THE ROAD. "WHAT THE HELL?" SAYS JOE.
WELL, I WAS DRAGGING THIS KID; I HAD IT IN "L"
FOR "LEAP OFF," REALLY GOT THE DROP ON HIM. THEN
I PUT IT IN "D" FOR "DRAG," AND WAS BEATING THE
HELL OUT OF HIM. TO REALLY WHIP HIM GOOD, I PUT
IT IN "R" FOR "RACING" AND SOMETHING HAPPENED.

Submitter comment: PICKED UP AROUND MASSILLON, OHIO, 1958.

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

Date learned: 00-00-1958

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THE DUMB MECHANIC

A COMMON STORY TOLD AMONG TRUCKS AND MECHANICS:
BACK ABOUT 1930 WHEN I WAS HAULIN' COAL OUT OF
CADIZ (SOUTHEAST OHIO), I BOUGHT ME ONE OF THEM
NEW WHITES WITH A DIESEL ENGINE. ONE DAY, THAT BIG
BASTARD JUST WOULDN'T RUN FER SHIT, SO'S I STOPPED
AT HANK'S (SOME TRUCK STOP) AND SAYS, "HEY, HANK,
TAKE A LOOK-SEE AT WHAT AILS THIS RIG." "WELL,
HANK PROPS UP THE HOOD WITH A 4 X 4 AND STARTS
MONKEYING AROUND. SHORTLY, HE JUMPS DOWN SAYING,
'WHY, HELL MAN, IT'S A WONDER THIS THING RUNS AT ALL.
IT AIN'T GOT NO SPARK PLUGS.'"

Submitter comment: TOLD TO ME ABOUT 1957 BY A PROFESSIONAL MECHANIC
WHO DROVE SCHOOL BUS AS PART-TIME JOB. HE WAS
ABOUT 60 AND TOLD IT IN THE FIRST PERSON. HAVE
HEARD THE SAME STORY TOLD IN THIRD PERSON BY A
HEAVY EQUIPMENT OPERATOR WHO USED DIFFERENT
LOCALITY (HUNTINGTON, W. VA.), DIFFERENT KIND
OF TRUCK AND OTTO'S TRUCK STOP.

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

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WHENEVER A TURKEY IS CONSUMED, IT IS CUSTOMARY TO
SAVE THE "WISHBONE" (DIAGRAM ON CARD) AND LET IT DRY
TIL BRITTLE. THEN TWO PEOPLE EACH MAKE A WISH. EACH
THEN GRASPS ONE LEG OF THE WISHBONE AND PULLS.
WHOEVER GETS THE BIGGER PIECE WHEN THE BONE BREAKS
WILL HAVE HIS WISH COME TRUE.

Submitter comment: SINCE THE BELIEF THAT ONE WISH WILL COME TRUE IS NO
LONGER HELD TO ANY EXTENT, THE CUSTOM IS CONTINUED
MOSTLY JUST FOR THE FUN INVOLVED.
CUSTOM HAS BEEN IN FAMILY FOR AT LEAST 80 YEARS,
ACCORDING TO MY MOTHER AND WAS PRESENT IN MY FATHER'S
FAMILY AS WELL. MOTHER IS SECOND GENERATION AMERICAN
FROM ENGLAND.

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

Date learned: 00-00-1968

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