A Jew and a Czech were walking through the woods, and
they ran into two big bears: one male and one female.
Feeling brave, the Czech tried to fight them off, and
the male bear ate him up. The Jew ran back to town
for help. When he returned with the hunters, they asked
him which of the bears ate the Czech. The Jew said it
was the male bear. So they killed the male bear, cut
him open, and the Czech wasn't there.
Moral of the story: Never trust a Jew when he says:
"The check's in the mail!"

Submitter comment:

That is a phrase used frequently by people who owe
someone money.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): pun: Czech check ; pun: male mail

Subject headings:

PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale

Date learned: 00-00-1991

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TANGLE TALK

GOOD BYE MORON: I SAT MYSELF DOWN, PENCIL IN HAND, TO
TYPEWRITE YOU A LETTER. PARDON THE INK. I DO NOT LIVE
WHERRE I LIVED BEFORE, BECAUSE I MOVED TO WHERE I DO NOW.
I AM SORRY WE ARE SO FAR TOGETHER, I WISH WE WERE CLOSER
APART. WE ARE HAVING MORE WEATHER THIS YEAR THAN LAST YEAR.
MY AUNT NELLIE DIES AND IS DOING FINE. HOPE YOU ARE THE SAME.
I STARTED TO FLORIDA TO SEE YOU AND I SAW A SIGN THAT SAID,
"THIS TAKES YOU TO MIAMI", SO I GOT ON THE SIGN AND SAT THERE FOR
THREE HOURS, AND THE DARN THING DIDN'T MOVE. I AM MAILING
YOU A COAT BE EXPRESS, I CUT OFF THE BUTTONS TO MAKE IT
LIGHTER. THEY ARE IN THE POCKETS. IF YOU DON'T GET THIS LETTER
LET ME KNOW AND I WILL MAIL IT TO YOU. OUR NEIGHBOR'S BABY
SWALLOWED SOME PINS BUT THEY FED IT A PIN CUSHION SO
EVERYTHING IS O.K. NOW. I WOULD SEND YOU THE SIX DOLLARS
I OWE YOU BUT I DIDN'T THINK OF IT UNTIL I SEALED THE
ENVELOPE. ENCLOSED YOU WILL FIND A PICTURE, BUT FOR FEAR
OF LOSING IT, I TOOK IT OUT. HELLO,_____________

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; COMPUTER CENTER

Keyword(s): MAIL

Subject headings:

SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 10-11-1971

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